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Show ALL Forums  > Over 45  > Coming up to bat and being out of the league.      Home login  
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 1388SmartBlonde
Joined: 5/15/2011
Msg: 51
Coming up to bat and being out of the league.Page 3 of 7    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7)
nhra1966...
@1388smartblonde. so your admitting all you want is a great looking guy, this is typical, its all about the looks. the shallowness shines through in every woman on here, thats why un attractive guys like me get NO dates on here, its sad.


LOL!!! If you saw my beau you would eat your words...he's short (5'6"), is an amputee, is overweight and has ears that get satellite tv...but he is the kindest, most generous, faithful, intelligent, optimistic church going man I know and he has the love and respect of his friends, family and coworkers. Me shallow?? BWAHAHAHAHAHA! If you want to know what a league you are out of, it is his. (and thanks, OHenryx...you, too, are a class act.)

Cliches and leagues are for jr. high, not middle age...the important thing is to find someone who puts up with you and your baggage as well as you put up with theirs, then laugh, love and enjoy the sunset years for as long as you can.
 BlackLady1953
Joined: 5/27/2011
Msg: 52
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Coming up to bat and being out of the league.
Posted: 5/15/2012 9:17:32 AM
I'm a "wild card"....I work in the political world, where arrogance, $, and "who do you know, and do you have them on speed dial?" rules. I'm not like that at all......."a fish out of water", so to speak.

So I can't date in "this world", and can't date in "my real world", either. When I am retired, and don't have to "put on a show" for anyone, I'll date who I want.
 itechman63
Joined: 7/7/2005
Msg: 53
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Coming up to bat and being out of the league.
Posted: 5/15/2012 9:42:26 AM
I keep going to tryouts but just can't seem to make the big team. lol
 c_deacon
Joined: 3/13/2005
Msg: 54
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Coming up to bat and being out of the league.
Posted: 5/15/2012 9:58:46 AM
Does this mean that we have to wear uniforms and wear a cup??.....lmao

OT......If one has self confidence, talent, and desire......there is no such thing as out of your league!

cd
 Moonchild51
Joined: 3/11/2007
Msg: 55
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Coming up to bat and being out of the league.
Posted: 5/15/2012 11:00:44 AM
What about if one feels more "below your league" as opposed to out of your league? Anyone think that is a capability?
 *mae* flowers
Joined: 1/15/2006
Msg: 56
Coming up to bat and being out of the league.
Posted: 5/15/2012 11:49:16 AM
I keep going to tryouts but just can't seem to make the big team. lol


I'm with you itech...I never seem to get picked....

But something very interesting happened the other day. A lady e-mailed me and wanted to know if I would be open to some "female" companionship. After the shock wore off, I did message her back and told her I was flattered that she found me attractive, but I am as straight as an arrow. Her closing remark was that if I ever change my mind and want to "switch teams"... let her know.

So there you go haha


Does this mean that we have to wear uniforms and wear a cup??.....


Oooh....uniforms, oh yeah, always loved a man in a uniform.

...mae
 c_deacon
Joined: 3/13/2005
Msg: 57
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Coming up to bat and being out of the league.
Posted: 5/15/2012 2:08:30 PM
Below can be interesting Moonie.....lot's of things to do below......lol Interesting concept though......kind of like being in the organization, but playing for now in the minors......until you have enough "reps" to step up the the big leagues....smiles

And Mae.....Wearing a uniform can be very sensual, but and this is a huge.....how one looks in that uniform and how one presents themselves can make all the difference in the world. Just like seeing someone sexy in a nurses outfit, compared to seeing someone not so sexy and carrying pee pan......lmao

OT.....I was taught to "See ball, hit ball", and that matters in most things you do.......got to see it to hit it, and if you hit it, many things can happen!!

cd
 *mae* flowers
Joined: 1/15/2006
Msg: 58
Coming up to bat and being out of the league.
Posted: 5/15/2012 5:45:55 PM

And Mae.....Wearing a uniform can be very sensual, but and this is a huge.....how one looks in that uniform and how one presents themselves can make all the difference in the world. Just like seeing someone sexy in a nurses outfit, compared to seeing someone not so sexy and carrying pee pan......lmao


You mean like seeing someone who resembles Nurse Ratchett coming at you with, "Time for yor enema Mr Deacon...lol
But I was referring to "men in uniform"... like in baseball hehe


OT.....I was taught to "See ball, hit ball", and that matters in most things you do.......got to see it to hit it, and if you hit it, many things can happen!!


Yeah like a home run.

...mae
 Rob3444
Joined: 11/14/2011
Msg: 59
Coming up to bat and being out of the league.
Posted: 5/15/2012 6:34:41 PM
Well my own example I'm an artist that owns junk/collectible shops in a small village. Low income, low education. I live an unstructured Bohemian life and feel I'm in Shangri la. Others live the bourgeoisie life and make a lot of doe rea me. Different leagues but who is out of whose?
My ex was a jet set rich girl that could have anything and 15 years younger and really hot. Was she out of my league? I will take a poor little mouse that has nothing or another fancy pants depending on chemistry.
It's all not real of course just something for those that feel they are superior.
 BlokeInSydney
Joined: 5/7/2012
Msg: 60
Coming up to bat and being out of the league.
Posted: 5/15/2012 7:00:51 PM

Do you still feel some are not reachable just because they are out of your "League"?


Why would you want to reach those people anyway?

The amount of money some people spent to maintain quite opulent lifestyles confounds me. In order to be accepted into those sorts of circles you have to go to the right schools, live in the right suburbs, hob-nob with the polo set... the list goes on. In the end, if you don't have truckloads of cash you are not deemed worthy it would seem.

We lead a pretty simple life, with almost no debt and that suits us fine.

When I was dating I sought the company of women who valued the simple things also and they almost always turned out to be genuine, smart, funny interesting people who had much humanity about them.
 cariboolady1
Joined: 3/22/2012
Msg: 61
Coming up to bat and being out of the league.
Posted: 5/15/2012 7:15:23 PM
Hmmmmm...
Leagues are made when invisable barriers are put up when one feels they either don't "qualify" or they are "out of their safe depth".
I was married for over 20 years to a man whose mother felt that I wasn't of their league. That was pretty tough. He loved me irregardless. There were things that I didn't like about him and his family and it was mostly the shallowness. His mom was a veteran social climber.
But, we had alot of great times and I was able to do things that normally take quite a bit of money. We also raised our kids with lots of opportunities for them and they wanted for nothing.

Post divorce, I dated in that spectrum of men who lived as my ex and I also dated men who were of similar backgrounds as mine. There was no problems crossing lines as I knew both worlds.
The one man that I settled with for a few years was the same economic spectrum as myself and I was comfortable.
I cannot seem to date down. A man who is boorish, slovenly, lazy, uneducated and is like a redneck in thought and action is a turn-off.

I have found that as I have gotten older, what matters is the meeting of the minds. The mental and emotional aspects that seem to mesh. Our politics, our interests, our values and goals.
I married the first time for love and security. Which was a good choice as it gave my kids a good life.
Next time? I marry for love. I have my own security and I hope he has his.
 RosehipsAlberta
Joined: 4/20/2012
Msg: 62
Coming up to bat and being out of the league.
Posted: 5/15/2012 7:35:59 PM
I measure someone's integrity and character by their behavior, not by their assets, material goods, and profession.
If I am going to interact with them on a personal level, who they are is what counts, not what they are or what they have. If they are rude to a stranger, I don't care if they are worth millions and look like (insert name of some hot celebrity). If they lack wisdom, empathy and inner beauty ... it doesn't matter what the superficial exteriors are.

63 years old and still no more "sense" than when I was 18!! Ideals reign!!
 stellavixen
Joined: 2/17/2012
Msg: 63
Coming up to bat and being out of the league.
Posted: 5/16/2012 9:53:44 AM
Integrity is most important to me too.
 Secondhand_Lion
Joined: 11/10/2008
Msg: 64
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Coming up to bat and being out of the league.
Posted: 5/19/2012 11:27:48 AM
Well, I used to be open to all classes, but since I got indoor plumbing and a vehicle with an electric starter.....ya just can't talk to me anymore. If my nose get's and higher.....the next time it rains, I'm gonna drown.
 Branes
Joined: 7/27/2006
Msg: 65
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Coming up to bat and being out of the league.
Posted: 5/19/2012 1:50:18 PM
I used to think certain kinds of women were out of my league, or I was out of theirs. Then I met someone online, in a chatroom of all places. We didn't even talk about jobs or income or any of that stuff. All I knew was that she had been transferred to Mass and was living in an apt. I didn't know at the time that it was fully paid for.
I was way out of her league. I was a simple admin assistant at an independent record company. She was senior executive with a Fortune 500 electronics company with a 6 figure income, think Droid. But we were married for 9 years. She died of breast cancer in 2006.
While we were dating, before we ever even lived together, she turned down a marriage proposal from a very rich man who lived in Hyannis Port, MA..a friend of the Kennedys, of all people. I asked her why she turned down such an opportunity. She told me because he was a jerk (not that word exactly, :), and she liked me better. What can any guy say to that?
She was my best friend and the only person that ever loved me totally despite my shortcomings, except for my mother of course. And vice-versa.
You just never know what life is going to bring you or do to you. But you'll never find out if you don't take the chance.
The worst that could happen is that he/she is obnoxious and says "Sorry, but you're out of my league." Big deal. You knew that already.
 Dmaj7
Joined: 5/13/2012
Msg: 66
Coming up to bat and being out of the league.
Posted: 5/19/2012 3:23:07 PM
Like attracts like. If you only want to date people out of your league you will be lonely. I refer to you as plural not you specifically. There is a league system. It's well documented and proven. It's not an issue of maturity.
 ohenryx
Joined: 3/12/2010
Msg: 67
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Coming up to bat and being out of the league.
Posted: 5/20/2012 12:07:34 AM

Secondhand_Lion
Well, I used to be open to all classes, but since I got indoor plumbing and a vehicle with an electric starter.....ya just can't talk to me anymore. If my nose get's and higher.....the next time it rains, I'm gonna drown.


I have to admit, the flush toilet is mankind’s greatest invention.
 turnitover1959
Joined: 2/15/2013
Msg: 68
Coming up to bat and being out of the league.
Posted: 4/5/2013 12:18:28 PM
Its not that you are out of their league its that a lot of people are closed minded and have preconceived notions about everything. Its more like where your comfort zone is and people put a wall up around it.
 BLONDE_ANGEL845
Joined: 6/30/2012
Msg: 69
Coming up to bat and being out of the league.
Posted: 4/5/2013 1:25:14 PM
I like intelligent men who have some social skills but are NOT players. They can be ordinary looking, they don't have to be Brad Pitt but no Quasimodo's either. Non-smokers, no drunks or druggies, just a nice guy. Now THAT is my league, for sure!
 chrisknew
Joined: 1/27/2013
Msg: 70
Coming up to bat and being out of the league.
Posted: 4/5/2013 4:26:34 PM
No one is out of my league!
No one is better than me!
Nor am I better than anyone

Have been around millionaires, most of them are really genuine people, except the few less open-minded individuals.
For those with higher education.. again if they are close minded and only speak with same Caliber of educational background, that really just goes to show how ignorant they really are.
 BlackLady1953
Joined: 5/27/2011
Msg: 71
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Coming up to bat and being out of the league.
Posted: 4/5/2013 10:40:34 PM
It's called the caste system....and there will ALWAYS be one, unfortunately!
 charliesmom21
Joined: 6/22/2009
Msg: 72
Coming up to bat and being out of the league.
Posted: 4/9/2013 5:54:03 AM
I do not necessarily call it a league.. however if I understand the question.. I personally like to date someone who is from the same income bracket, has similar life experiences and fits into my world as I would hope to fit into his. I have found on line dating a challenge because often I receive emails from men who are not at all even in the realm. It is not about looks to me.. I have dated tall men, short men and men who were not head turners. However, I tend to date men in the same socio-economic range, men who are educated, or at least have enough life experiences to carry on a good conversation, men who have traveled beyond their own back yard as I have. So if that is a league.. then yes.. I prefer dating within that range.. not up and not down. My experiences on POF for the most part were men trying to date up. ( this again is not about looks or physical appearance) I dont feel comfortable dating someone who sees my house and thinks I am rich or hears stories about the places I have been and is amazed.. to me its not amazing, its just the way I live. I am much more comfortable with someone who has also been to other places and can share his experiences with me. Maybe we can make new memories together? I dont enjoy the country club or golfing or putting on aires either.. I love my "middle" class life and dont want to trade up or down. JMHO
 BLONDE_ANGEL845
Joined: 6/30/2012
Msg: 73
Coming up to bat and being out of the league.
Posted: 4/9/2013 9:52:05 AM

As you can see by all the different responses, this seems to be a somewhat touchy topic. What I've noticed is a lot of people will automatically get defensive and go on to say that NO ONE is better than they are, therefore no one is out of their league. I personally don't look at the term "league" to mean someone is necessarily better or worse than someone else, I look at it in terms of: do I have things in common with that person?

If a 30 year old, super hot, never married, no children, wealthy, Harvard graduate guy asked an average looking, community college educated....divorced, middle age woman with grown kids and even grand-kids out on a date, my first thought would be WHY? What would these two actually have in common? People who vary from each other too much on looks, education, wealth, intelligence and moral and standards are usually not going to have much in common with each other.

IMO when people get defensive like that, it is because they themselves are insecure!
 woobytoodsday
Joined: 12/13/2006
Msg: 74
Coming up to bat and being out of the league.
Posted: 4/9/2013 10:38:01 AM
I used to think that I'd missed the gene for *getting* games played with differently sized balls. (And I did.) But I also seemed to have missed the gene for understanding "winning." When I was younger, and still played games where winning was possible, winning made me very uncomfortable because it clearly made someone else very unhappy. And trying to console them only made them angry. At you.

For *me* (YMMV), it is enough that people are amazingly different, with astonishing stories. Within that, some are kind, bright, funny, sexy, tender and joys to be around. Look for what pleases you, your soul. Leave the rest to play elsewhere. I think that's enough.
 BLONDE_ANGEL845
Joined: 6/30/2012
Msg: 75
Coming up to bat and being out of the league.
Posted: 4/9/2013 12:11:51 PM
@cautiousluv- there is a concept called "Pareto's Principle"
http://management.about.com/cs/generalmanagement/a/Pareto081202.htm
Pareto's Principle - The 80-20 Rule
How the 80/20 rule can help you be more effective
By F. John Reh, About.com Guide
(be sure to scroll all the way down!)
In 1906, Italian economist Vilfredo Pareto created a mathematical formula to describe the unequal distribution of wealth in his country, observing that twenty percent of the people owned eighty percent of the wealth. In the late 1940s, Dr. Joseph M. Juran inaccurately attributed the 80/20 Rule to Pareto, calling it Pareto's Principle. While it may be misnamed, Pareto's Principle or Pareto's Law as it is sometimes called, can be a very effective tool to help you manage effectively.

Where It Came From
After Pareto made his observation and created his formula, many others observed similar phenomena in their own areas of expertise. Quality Management pioneer, Dr. Joseph Juran, working in the US in the 1930s and 40s recognized a universal principle he called the "vital few and trivial many" and reduced it to writing. In an early work, a lack of precision on Juran's part made it appear that he was applying Pareto's observations about economics to a broader body of work. The name Pareto's Principle stuck, probably because it sounded better than Juran's Principle.
As a result, Dr. Juran's observation of the "vital few and trivial many", the principle that 20 percent of something always are responsible for 80 percent of the results, became known as Pareto's Principle or the 80/20 Rule.

What It Means
The 80/20 Rule means that in anything a few (20 percent) are vital and many(80 percent) are trivial. In Pareto's case it meant 20 percent of the people owned 80 percent of the wealth. In Juran's initial work he identified 20 percent of the defects causing 80 percent of the problems. Project Managers know that 20 percent of the work (the first 10 percent and the last 10 percent) consume 80 percent of your time and resources. You can apply the 80/20 Rule to almost anything, from the science of management to the physical world.
You know 20 percent of your stock takes up 80 percent of your warehouse space and that 80 percent of your stock comes from 20 percent of your suppliers. Also 80 percent of your sales will come from 20 percent of your sales staff. 20 percent of your staff will cause 80 percent of your problems, but another 20 percent of your staff will provide 80 percent of your production. It works both ways.

How It Can Help You
The value of the Pareto Principle for a manager is that it reminds you to focus on the 20 percent that matters. Of the things you do during your day, only 20 percent really matter. Those 20 percent produce 80 percent of your results. Identify and focus on those things. When the fire drills of the day begin to sap your time, remind yourself of the 20 percent you need to focus on. If something in the schedule has to slip, if something isn't going to get done, make sure it's not part of that 20 percent.
There is a management theory floating around at the moment that proposes to interpret Pareto's Principle in such a way as to produce what is called Superstar Management. The theory's supporters claim that since 20 percent of your people produce 80 percent of your results you should focus your limited time on managing only that 20 percent, the superstars. The theory is flawed, as we are discussing here because it overlooks the fact that 80 percent of your time should be spent doing what is really important. Helping the good become better is a better use of your time than helping the great become terrific. Apply the Pareto Principle to all you do, but use it wisely.

Manage This Issue
Pareto's Principle, the 80/20 Rule, should serve as a daily reminder to focus 80 percent of your time and energy on the 20 percent of you work that is really important. Don't just "work smart", work smart on the right things.
In dating, 80% of the people out there pursue 20% of what they think is the top prospects, so if u r in the top 20%, u r pursued by 80%

@ Blonde Angel. I think in a lot of cases you're right. And then what happens is a lot of these men end up messaging women who are way more attractive (I use looks as an example because that's the most obvious that can be seen on-line) than they are because they have an attitude of "hey....why not....you never know"......and then in turn what happens is these men get bitter because no one responds to them and then the average looking women get upset because they aren't finding anyone either. And vice versa
what she said basically backs it up, I've heard it many times before. I have a book about Pareto's Principle & apply it to many facets of my life, it is very useful!
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