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Show ALL Forums  > Over 45  > Coming up to bat and being out of the league.      Home login  
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 LoneScottishBoy
Joined: 2/13/2012
Msg: 76
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Coming up to bat and being out of the league.Page 4 of 7    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7)
Leagues are for people who need to categorize and compete.
I dont play in a league and I would rather be with a dirt poor, simple person who is happy and loving than a millionaress who is miserable. Im just as happy shopping at Goodwill as I am shopping at L.L.Bean...
That being said, I will always prefer people who are willing to look inside for answers.

I learned early on that a lot of pretty gals sat home on Saturday nights because they had been placed "in a league".
You have to just drop that mode of thinking and appoach them like any other person because thats exactly what they are. I think its unfair to both people when you say that somebody is "out of their league".
You are not only judging the person you are conversing with, but also the other person.

Judgement ( for me anyway) is what keeps from experiencing people for what they really have to offer.
I have been guilty of it and still catch myself doing it, but I find the more of it I drop, the more enjoyable my life is.

Leagues belong in sports...:)
 afitdancer
Joined: 8/30/2012
Msg: 77
Coming up to bat and being out of the league.
Posted: 4/10/2013 6:49:25 PM
I don't like the word, but I do find myself using it.

Consider how our profiles are set up. Pictures first .... is he/she pretty/handsome enough for me to date. On to height, salary...etc. Hard not to think the phrase is appropriate.

I read the WHOLE profile and see if they match up with what I am looking for. Which clarifies nothing. Drats
 BLONDE_ANGEL845
Joined: 6/30/2012
Msg: 78
Coming up to bat and being out of the league.
Posted: 4/10/2013 7:47:59 PM
If 100% of the women are going after the wealthy 20% of the men on here (or real life) and 100% of the men are going after the 20% attractive women on this site (or real life)...
According to Pareto, it is 80/20, & many women do NOT pursue men, they wait & see what men pursue them! & choose accordingly!
no wonder we see the same faces day after day and they are and will remain dateless.
Some of us are here 4 forums only!
And if this holds true, going to a pay site or a matchmaker or in real life - it won't be any better.
And some of us are dating from men we met in real life.
We are average, all of us, so get used to being single and liking it.
There is quite a variation of looks in pof & irl, it depends on what a person is looking for...
And attractive is subjective, agreed
I haven't seen any drop dead beautiful women on here
I have
(lots of average).that too
And wealthy, well a million dollars doesn't go very far these days either. sadly no
I've yet to see one woman on here who could attract a millionaire either. Well get a video cam to follow them around on their dates it would make 4 great reality TV!
But lots of money will guarantee bagging a woman. So....I think money wins. It always has!

I just want an average guy . Me too! average looking, smart, sweet & not broke azz! PS- and not bitter either!
 BLONDE_ANGEL845
Joined: 6/30/2012
Msg: 79
Coming up to bat and being out of the league.
Posted: 4/10/2013 8:06:15 PM

As for attractive, I have seen many attractive on the outside and ugly on the inside...does that count? I don't count them


So does the gynecologist & the proctologist.
 Freudian
Joined: 3/15/2010
Msg: 80
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Coming up to bat and being out of the league.
Posted: 4/10/2013 8:42:52 PM
Way up there somewhere I saw someone using the cliche about the good looking woman sitting at home alone because everyone thought she was out of her league.

I've never ever seen this. Sure, there are a few nights here and there where she was without a date, but those are either by choice or coincidence. I had a really good looking red headed daughter that literally had her choice of men. She would walk into a store and every man in sight would do a double take. She was constantly approached and never, ever paid her own way on dates, or much else for that matter. Fortunately, she finished schooland became an RN before she started chasing them back.

I just don't believe the 'beautiful people' are left out of anything. Someone, somewhere made that stuff up to make people like me feel better about Friday and Saturday night television.
 Behind-Blue-Eyes_53
Joined: 12/19/2011
Msg: 81
Coming up to bat and being out of the league.
Posted: 4/11/2013 1:48:39 AM
As Gretzky has said every shot you don't take is a missed Goal...You miss 100% of the shots you don't take.....Now those who enjoy things I don't, then that's not a league thing, but an activity thing.....Also, how many of your Pareto 20% have reached their Peter Principle, and how long before that is found out?

I will say this, I see more Nut Jobs online than I've ever met IRL.....
 BlackLady1953
Joined: 5/27/2011
Msg: 82
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Coming up to bat and being out of the league.
Posted: 4/11/2013 9:20:26 AM
I have gotten castigated on on-line dating sites at least twice......once because I declined to date someone who had only a 7th grade education and was working as a labor making less than $10,000 a year (I felt that we wouldn't have anything in common), and once because I contacted someone who had a law degree and told me I was "beneath" his level.

So, I am very cautious about "going out of my league".....be that "up", or "down." And it is better to socialize/develop relationships with people who are in the same income/educational bracket as one's self. Just easier that way.
 Giggles10000
Joined: 2/17/2013
Msg: 83
Coming up to bat and being out of the league.
Posted: 4/11/2013 10:13:09 AM

Leagues are for people who need to categorize and compete.
I dont play in a league and I would rather be with a dirt poor, simple person who is happy and loving than a millionaress who is miserable. Im just as happy shopping at Goodwill as I am shopping at L.L.Bean...
That being said, I will always prefer people who are willing to look inside for answers.

I learned early on that a lot of pretty gals sat home on Saturday nights because they had been placed "in a league".
You have to just drop that mode of thinking and appoach them like any other person because thats exactly what they are. I think its unfair to both people when you say that somebody is "out of their league".
You are not only judging the person you are conversing with, but also the other person.

Judgement ( for me anyway) is what keeps from experiencing people for what they really have to offer.
I have been guilty of it and still catch myself doing it, but I find the more of it I drop, the more enjoyable my life is.

Leagues belong in sports...:)


<3 this--I agree with it completely.

It is funny but now in my senior year in college in marketing they teach something similar to this whole league thing--how to appeal to different people, it is sad that in general it works and that most people feel there are those who are better than them and those who are worst than them--I don't want him/her they aren't my equal but then they expect someone else who has more education etc to want them--it is really sad.

I remember when I first joined one guy told me that no man would take me seriously cause all the women on the site had bachelor degrees and so they could make good money and i was working on my Associates. He said if he married someone who was better educated they would have a better life and which he did end up married to a lady with a masters --he just has a high school degree.

I cant imagine limiting myself to someone's education, or money--I would so much rather be happy with a poor man than completely miserable with a rich one..... since that guy got married they have broken up once a year...he says for all the fancy house and money ...he cant stand to be around her thinking she is better than him...I just kinda giggled at him.
 Daskate
Joined: 12/15/2011
Msg: 84
Coming up to bat and being out of the league.
Posted: 4/11/2013 10:35:22 AM
There have been and always will be leagues but that doesn't mean that you can't try for someone out of your league. You should just try to make sure that the differences aren't that great and be sure to have a thick skin because you will fail more often than not.

Also, if you think about it we are in several different leagues (looks, education, income, etc.) at once, so your other "leagues" can sometimes balance things out.
 lostcausein
Joined: 3/16/2013
Msg: 85
Coming up to bat and being out of the league.
Posted: 4/11/2013 10:40:34 AM

I just don't believe the 'beautiful people' are left out of anything. Someone, somewhere made that stuff up to make people like me feel better about Friday and Saturday night television.


Which usually includes larger and larger quantities of alcohol the older we get.
 ohenryx
Joined: 3/12/2010
Msg: 86
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Coming up to bat and being out of the league.
Posted: 4/11/2013 10:57:02 AM

Bogie_Bacall474
And attractive is subjective, I haven't seen any drop dead beautiful women on here (lots of average).

I have, but unfortunately they won’t go out with me. I guess they’re “out of my league”? (smile)


Bogie_Bacall474
And wealthy, well a million dollars doesn't go very far these days either. I've yet to see one woman on here who could attract a millionaire either. But lots of money will guarantee bagging a woman. So....I think money wins.

Wait a minute, we are in “over 45 forum”, aren’t we? Checking… Yes, we are.


The problem is that we (the older generation) have not adjusted to how worthless our paper money has become. I still remember, quite clearly, when a $20 bill was serious money, and it was hard to find an establishment that would “break it” for you. Back then, a millionaire was a very rich person. Not any more. A net worth of $1,000,000 (One Million Dollars), is not a whole lot for anyone approaching retirement. Most of the people I work with who are over 55 have a net worth greater than that, and are quite worried about their retirement.

Based on that, I would take exception to your statement, “I’ve yet to see one woman on here who could attract a millionaire either.” Now if you modify your statement to “could attract a really rich man”, then we can talk. I would maintain there are a few women on here who could attract a “really rich man”, but only a few. There are quite a few women on here who could attract a millionaire, nothing special about that.


Freudian
I just don't believe the 'beautiful people' are left out of anything. Someone, somewhere made that stuff up to make people like me feel better about Friday and Saturday night television.


+1
 BlackLady1953
Joined: 5/27/2011
Msg: 87
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Coming up to bat and being out of the league.
Posted: 4/11/2013 11:06:55 AM
In America, Giggles, we "catagorize" everything and everyone....unfortunately.
 Behind-Blue-Eyes_53
Joined: 12/19/2011
Msg: 88
Coming up to bat and being out of the league.
Posted: 4/11/2013 2:59:03 PM
cautiousluv it's from a book published in 1969 'The Peter Principle'

The Peter Principle is a proposition that states that the members of an organization where promotion is based on achievement, success, and merit, will eventually be promoted beyond their level of ability. The principle is commonly phrased, "Employees tend to rise to their level of incompetence."

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Peter_Principle
 14everBlessed2
Joined: 6/21/2012
Msg: 89
Coming up to bat and being out of the league.
Posted: 4/11/2013 3:45:45 PM
I don't think I am any better or lower than anyone else.I have friends from all walks of life. Either I like you or I don't and that individual "assessment" comes from the heart and seeing how an individual treats others.
 BLONDE_ANGEL845
Joined: 6/30/2012
Msg: 90
Coming up to bat and being out of the league.
Posted: 4/12/2013 12:54:46 PM
There have been and always will be leagues but that doesn't mean that you can't try for someone out of your league. You should just try to make sure that the differences aren't that great and be sure to have a thick skin because you will fail more often than not.

Giggles1000:I cant imagine limiting myself to someone's education, or money--I would so much rather be happy with a poor man than completely miserable with a rich one..... since that guy got married they have broken up once a year...he says for all the fancy house and money ...he cant stand to be around her thinking she is better than him...I just kinda giggled at him.

I'm just wondering .... "how poor"? .... "dirt poor"? .... as the other poster that you agreed with stated? Because while that sounds all fluffy and noble to say......the reality is... being "dirt poor" puts a lot of strain on relationships, therefore many of these "happy" couples end of separating/divorcing over money.....or LACK of money rather. I've personally seen it happen to friends I know and grew up with.

I would think it would be pretty stressful being with a man that didn't have money to buy decent clothes....(unless you don't mind how he looks at the next wedding or celebration the two of you are invited to) and pretty stressful knowing we would have to share 1 vehicle because he doesn't have money to buy his own....and pretty stressful that he never had money to share household expenses (if we lived together) OR if we didn't live together....I would find it quite stressful that I always had to pick him up to go back to my place (because he's dirt poor and still doesn't have a car even though he still lives at home...because you know.....he's dirt poor), and even if this dirt poor guy does have a car......he would have to borrow money from me every week for gas, and God forbid it breaking down or something and he has no money for repairs.

Some people in here have likened me to a gold digger- far from true- i make no bones about coupons or free or cheap- i love a bargain whether it is me or my man spending BUT...
I think there is a lot of lying going on when people say there are no leagues. Everyone has a boundary or standard. Will u date a man who doesn't bathe? who is retarded? who is deaf, dumb or blind? who is an amputee? who is homeless, on welfare, on food stamps, has a contagious disease, is an abuser, a drunk, or a druggie? who has an eye missing, facial deformity, etc??
I also think the league-less folks say that cuz they themselves have some esteem issues or just want to sound sooo dateable..
.
I will catch flack, but I am being honest: I know I am pretty, therefore I should date at least an average looking man, not a butt ugly one. My IQ is 131, I should date a man who has at least 120 IQ or above (that is who I have been dating in the last few years anyway) I dress nicely, I won't date a slovenly male. I do not expect perfection, but I am not addicted to drugs or alcohol & I have manners, so I EXPECT the same in a man.
THAT'S RIGHT- I HAVE EXPECTATIONS- TO SOCIALIZE w/ PEOPLE WHO ARE SIMILAR TO ME. PEOPLE NEED TO GET A GRIP. I never said I wanted a millionaire or a rich guy, just someone who is solvent & has something just as I do.
 _babblefish
Joined: 9/23/2011
Msg: 91
Coming up to bat and being out of the league.
Posted: 4/12/2013 3:04:31 PM

Will u date a man who doesn't bathe? who is retarded? who is deaf, dumb or blind? who is an amputee? who is homeless, on welfare, on food stamps, has a contagious disease, is an abuser, a drunk, or a druggie? who has an eye missing, facial deformity, etc??


O_O


I also think the league-less folks say that cuz they themselves have some esteem issues or just want to sound sooo dateable...


i think the ones that have a laundry list, choose to date beneath their acclaimed caliber or league .. post on the www how the dates never measured up are the ones with self esteem issues, is it the fugly teeth and wobbly bits?

/sans filter
 Peppermint_Petunias
Joined: 3/30/2012
Msg: 92
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Coming up to bat and being out of the league.
Posted: 4/12/2013 3:53:36 PM

kids wore their Izods and did not realize how ridiculous they looked with their collars turned upwards, pairing pink Levis cords with a Kelly green Izod was supposed to be a fashion statement. Our parents always trying to keep up with the Joness.... you get the picture.


What did you wear as a kid ?
What your parents bought you thats what.

You have some hang ups you need to get past op.

What has this got to do with being over 45?
Time to let go of your resentments?

Get over it.
 peerless3
Joined: 3/22/2007
Msg: 93
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Coming up to bat and being out of the league.
Posted: 4/12/2013 4:01:49 PM
As does water, people instinctively seek their own level. Feel uncomfortable dating a woman having such poor language skill that every second word is a potty-mouth expression? Or ever walk with a vanity-kitty who cannot walk past a mall mirror and tells people - unbidden - that she is oh-so-pretty? You will soon ditch them and continue searching for that 'comfortable' fit. That is, if you've half a brain, and don't over-ride your gut. For the others - the 'settlers'; the 'horn dogs'; the 'desperate', well, the seeking waters will see you under. :o)
 deere_rancher
Joined: 4/4/2012
Msg: 94
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Coming up to bat and being out of the league.
Posted: 4/12/2013 5:44:20 PM
My "level" may well be higher than some, lower than others. But higher/lower will seek same


I was told to never get above your raising (in selecting a mate)
But that never made sense , as I was raised in a lean to shelter on a Indian reservation
everyone was above my raising ..!

I guess it plays a part in compatibility, maybe a larger part than it should
But,I never looked at it, as someone else was better than me ... just more fortunate
so I date , who I'm attracted to, without regards to leagues
 deere_rancher
Joined: 4/4/2012
Msg: 95
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Coming up to bat and being out of the league.
Posted: 4/12/2013 6:39:32 PM
but isn't it also fair to say that there are women you are attracted to that you would like to date that won't date you? So, in a way......you DO date in regards to "leagues"......


Cautious .
If a woman declines my invitations , I have never considered or wondered why ..(really)
. she has her reasons , and thats okay
 Halcyon_Skies
Joined: 2/1/2009
Msg: 96
Coming up to bat and being out of the league.
Posted: 4/12/2013 6:42:37 PM
Leagues definitely exist---although many people don't acknowledge them. I always find it curious when people consider themselves to be in the "politically correct league", wherein they proceed to thumb their noses at those whom they don't consider to be in the "politically correct league". Yet these very same people think nothing of poking fun at the age or physical appearance of others.

If one chooses not to date someone less worldly, less financially solvent, less intelligent, less educated, less attractive, ten years older, 100 pounds heavier, or 3" shorter than themselves, that's their prerogative---however, that doesn't give them the green light to disparage other people who make a different choice---or whose choices don't include them.
 deere_rancher
Joined: 4/4/2012
Msg: 97
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Coming up to bat and being out of the league.
Posted: 4/12/2013 7:05:01 PM

. I always find it curious when people consider themselves to be in the "politically correct league", wherein they proceed to thumb their noses at those whom they don't consider to be in the "politically correct league". Yet these very same people think nothing of poking fun at the age or physical appearance of others.


Halcyon, very true .! .
 yourhandyman1
Joined: 4/27/2012
Msg: 98
Coming up to bat and being out of the league.
Posted: 4/13/2013 12:55:42 AM
So, does "not my type" = "out of my league" ??
 lostnfoundluv
Joined: 1/10/2009
Msg: 99
Coming up to bat and being out of the league.
Posted: 4/13/2013 8:46:05 AM
one can be making good money and still be missing out on all life pleasures . I never think of anyone outside my league .
 jeni366
Joined: 2/17/2013
Msg: 100
Coming up to bat and being out of the league.
Posted: 4/13/2013 12:44:33 PM

Do measure someones integrity and character by their assets, material goods, profession?

What could a persons assets, material possessions, and profession (in most circumstances) have to do with their level of honesty and behaviors? Some people of greater wealth are jerks, some are not. Some people of less wealth are jerks, some are not. I judge a persons character by their actions.

Wealth may interfere as a matter of lifestyle rather than one of character.
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