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Show ALL Forums  > Relationships  > Nipples or No Nipples, That is the Question      Home login  
 AUTHOR
 Sensitive_Writer
Joined: 4/26/2012
Msg: 26
Nipples or No Nipples, That is the QuestionPage 2 of 5    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5)
OP: Being a breast cancer survivor, myself, I can understand how you feel about this situation.

As for me, I'm completely missing a breast and use a prosthetic, and I find it is always best to let the men know about my situation as soon as I feel comfortable enough to bring up the subject. There is no real need to tell someone right away, say on the first meet, or even the first date. However, if you feel it could develop into something more, I'd suggest telling him as soon as you are comfortable telling him...I don't think most will have any problem with the fact that there are no nipples "waving hello."

And may I say......Congrats to you for beating that nasty "C" bug! YOU GO GIRL!!!
 Giggles10000
Joined: 6/17/2011
Msg: 27
Nipples or No Nipples, That is the Question
Posted: 5/13/2012 8:22:57 PM
My first husband and my last boyfriend never knew I have breast--so I don't think it will be an issue but here to beating cancer--Im now 10 years out!!!!!!!

Find a person who views your heart as the part of you he wants and nothing else will matter!
 AddHomonym
Joined: 12/26/2011
Msg: 28
Nipples or No Nipples, That is the Question
Posted: 5/13/2012 9:15:02 PM
I was thinking about this thread...ok, I was thinking about boobs.

My point is, I remembered being with a woman back in my days as a student who didn't have fully developed breasts, or so it appeared. It was quite an exciting time for me and although I was completely stopped in my tracks, the moment passed so quickly, I don't think she even noticed. Now to be clear, I'm talking about an adult woman but her chest was honestly as flat as a young boy's would be. Definitely not the norm. Unique and interesting even.

I did a little reading and saw something about nerve centers in the breast and how there are basically a set number of them regardless of size. So a large breast has these nerve centers spread out further while a smaller breast would have a tighter grouping, so to speak. I have no idea whether this is true or not but I like the idea of being more efficient. This woman was very much "non-standard" in this particular regard yet it didn't make her any less attractive to me at all.

The quote above about winning the lottery says it a lot better.
 tuxqueot
Joined: 3/23/2012
Msg: 29
Nipples or No Nipples, That is the Question
Posted: 5/13/2012 11:38:39 PM
hmm, that's an interesting situation.

I don't think I would have a problem with it as long as there are other places I could...excite...you by caressing, kissing, whatever. I've actually taken a woman to climax just on neck and nipple stimulation alone. But take the nipples out of the equation and that does complicate things a bit. Are your breast sensitive at all or are they just sort of there? Are they still "fun bags" or just some part of you that fills a shirt so you don't look like a 12 year old boy? (don't tell us, these are things your potential partner is going to need to know.)

I've heard this, umm, joke, before and I wonder if this doesn't apply to most men... how do you get a man to love 5 pounds of fat? Put a nipple on it.

God, that is horrible, I know. But jokes tend to become jokes because there is some truth to them.

seems to me that is something to be discussed prior to being intimate for sure, but possibly brought up before you even meet someone. I mean, being a cancer survivor is honorable and something you should bring up, maybe even include in your profile. You have there you are recovering from surgery, but nothing about surviving cancer. Then, when the subject comes up in chat, as it probably will or should, you can give more details. Like the fact that it was breast cancer and you have to have reconstructive surgery. If he isn't running for the hills, then maybe go into more details and be prepared to explain how that can or will affect intimacy. But above all be proud of the fact you survived what many women do not.

I guess for me, there are things that need to be discussed and understood before a meet is even planned much less intimacy. If the guy isn't willing to be understanding and work past your umm, lack of anatomy? then he isnt worth your time.
 Capn_America
Joined: 10/6/2011
Msg: 30
Nipples or No Nipples, That is the Question
Posted: 5/14/2012 10:27:18 AM
I don't know what I would think. This is one of those things were, you really need to live it to know what your talking about. I would tend to think it wouldnt be a problem, once you get past the first few times and the akwardness of "there's supposed to be something there that isnt there anymore".
But hell, if I start seeing someone, I accept the person as they are, not as I wish they would be. If you'd have three breasts that been fine with me, as long as we dont spend our days yelling at each other about how to raise the kids
 NotSeekin
Joined: 4/25/2012
Msg: 31
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...or Not..., That is the Q
Posted: 5/14/2012 9:15:17 PM
Ms. Zermatt, I think your 1st sentence is profound. Congratulations to those of you who survived cancer or other life threatening diseases. May God bless the remainder of your life on earth.
 moonbeamlover
Joined: 3/19/2012
Msg: 32
Nipples or No Nipples, That is the Question
Posted: 5/14/2012 9:31:58 PM
Congrats on beating the disease... kudos seriously on having a great attitude, strength to beat it and the desire to not only live but be sensitive to how other people would feel with your scenario.

I strongly suspect whatever the heck you end up doing you will have someone who will be crazy about you exactly how you are; whether you fully reconstruct or not.

Kudos, seriously.
 Rob3444
Joined: 11/14/2011
Msg: 33
Nipples or No Nipples, That is the Question
Posted: 5/14/2012 9:41:06 PM
If I met a good looking woman like you I would live without the nipples. Had plenty already.
 verygreeneyez
Joined: 3/15/2006
Msg: 34
Nipples or No Nipples, That is the Question
Posted: 5/14/2012 10:07:59 PM
Hey OP! I'm not a man, but I am so anti-nip it's almost creepy. I hate when they show or are show-cased and when the mannequins in stores were suddenly all nipped out? I felt my teeth grind. Being that I'm quite anti-nipple, if I were "on the other team" so to speak ~ you'd be the ideal woman for me. Since that's not the case, however? I can only guess that at the end of the day, a man who'd not give a ratz would be a man worth keeping.
 Paddy_o_Lantern
Joined: 12/9/2009
Msg: 35
Nipples or No Nipples, That is the Question
Posted: 5/14/2012 11:04:31 PM
I am so anti-nip it's almost creepy. I hate when they show or are show-cased and when the mannequins in stores were suddenly all nipped out? I felt my teeth grind


Being anti-nip is a little creepy if you ask me. If you feel that way about mannequins I can't imagine how you would feel at the beach with all those men with thier nipples showing : - the horror!
 verygreeneyez
Joined: 3/15/2006
Msg: 36
Nipples or No Nipples, That is the Question
Posted: 5/15/2012 9:34:31 AM

Being anti-nip is a little creepy if you ask me. If you feel that way about mannequins I can't imagine how you would feel at the beach with all those men with thier nipples showing : - the horror!

I know, right? I've learned a fine skill however. I look at someone's face rather than their ta-tas. This eliminates my disinterest and keeps all things nipply out of my mind. Creative huh?
 Paddy_o_Lantern
Joined: 12/9/2009
Msg: 37
Nipples or No Nipples, That is the Question
Posted: 5/15/2012 10:23:58 AM
I look at someone's face rather than their ta-tas


And here I was thinking it was only men who had to develop the skill of not talking to someones ta-tas. Interesting that women have this problem too. Maybe some women are showing off thier breasts in thier skimpy outfits as much to impress other women as they are to distract men.

If you really wanted to distract a man you could wear a sparkly bra or perhaps just some glittery stick ons... just enough to cover the nips or in the case of the OP she could use stick on's for decoration in place of nips if she felt so inclined.
 verygreeneyez
Joined: 3/15/2006
Msg: 38
Nipples or No Nipples, That is the Question
Posted: 5/15/2012 11:00:43 AM

If you really wanted to distract a man you could wear a sparkly bra or perhaps just some glittery stick ons... just enough to cover the nips or in the case of the OP she could use stick on's for decoration in place of nips if she felt so inclined.

I had to google. I think I can get rid of those little round band-aids I buy in bulk. This stuff is just too fun:
http://www.yandy.com/pasties.php?P=all
And OP? What a great idea that came from a little humor. I think you could have some fun with your new reality. I know you're self-secure enough not to "need" to camo what's no longer where it once was, but should you wish to? There's some cute stuff on that site. Much love to you ~ always nice to see ya. Glad you're still here to see.
 Capn_America
Joined: 10/6/2011
Msg: 39
Nipples or No Nipples, That is the Question
Posted: 5/15/2012 11:17:28 AM

I had to google.

You know, up until a couple months ago, I taught it was still code talk for "I'm going to play with myself" lol. I REALLY need to het into the 21st century
 Technoartisan
Joined: 3/12/2012
Msg: 40
Nipples or No Nipples, That is the Question
Posted: 5/15/2012 7:25:50 PM

This may sound crass, but...if you get leg men or a$$ men, they won't care about ur boobs!


Boobs? What are those? Now turn around so I can admire the good bits! :)
 packagedealx3
Joined: 2/4/2006
Msg: 41
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Nipples or No Nipples, That is the Question
Posted: 5/16/2012 9:04:10 AM
Me too very green, me too :)
 AddHomonym
Joined: 12/26/2011
Msg: 42
Nipples or No Nipples, That is the Question
Posted: 5/16/2012 2:06:13 PM
^^^I'm sorry but that is pretty terrible advice. The last thing you need is some guy throwing a hissy-fit and a tantrum in your bed!
 cynful46
Joined: 2/5/2011
Msg: 43
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Nipples or No Nipples, That is the Question
Posted: 5/16/2012 3:49:17 PM
My sister is going through this right now. Double mastectomy 8 years ago and she just had the implants done last September. She is going on the 28th for her Nipple TATTOOES and then back 2 weeks later for the pucker surgery where they gather some skin up to form a "sort of nipple".

SHE IS DOING THE HAPPY DANCE. She wasn't even aware they could do this.

In all HONESTY, I would go for the nipples.

I know with a shirt on you can't tell but once that shirt comes off, the boobs minus the nipple color and the bump just looks like it's missing something. For a man that you're in a relationship with WHEN you lose your breasts, is one thing but a new man ?

I would do the nipples.
 DragonBits
Joined: 1/6/2012
Msg: 44
Nipples or No Nipples, That is the Question
Posted: 5/16/2012 4:30:42 PM
packagedealx3, I am really attracted to a women's total package, her personality, character, face and yes her body, but not one particular body part, so no it wouldn't be a problem for me.

I am sure in a few months of being together, I wouldn't even notice it.
 laskoboo
Joined: 2/12/2010
Msg: 45
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Nipples or No Nipples, That is the Question
Posted: 5/16/2012 4:55:16 PM
OP I really do not see what the issue is since they can make nipples surgically...
they can also tattoo them and you can bypass the surgery with some 3 d tats. If it presents some problem for you to not have nipples you can get some...
it is a short surgery... I had mine and was home within 3 hours.

There is also illusion of protrusion type tats ( no surgery) often free to breast cancer ladies at local tat shops.
Your going to have FAR more issues with implants then you ever will with nipples. Maybe consider diep
if you get tired of the implants and all its issues. Its the newest and best alternative but not everyone is a candiate and you will certaninly NOT find any sugeron in tarrant county skilled enough to do one ( you will have to go to dallas)

I believe your real issue is you got implants and not diep. You are going to have a lot of probelms, more so if you had radiaition.

best to you
if you decide to get diep in the future check out UT southwest in dallas.
 AddHomonym
Joined: 12/26/2011
Msg: 46
Nipples or No Nipples, That is the Question
Posted: 5/16/2012 5:00:31 PM
It's nice to offer helpful advice to people but the way you say it can be sometimes come across as maybe not so nice.

I'm sure the OP has discussed these issues with her doctors and surgeons in addition to doing all sorts of reading on her own. Just because she's asking us for our opinions on the subject doesn't mean she has no clue what is going on with her own health.
 NJ_Phil
Joined: 10/1/2011
Msg: 47
Nipples or No Nipples, That is the Question
Posted: 5/16/2012 7:22:13 PM
I guess the real question is not "nipples or not", but is it Love or Sex. In today's society Sex is a means to an end meaning you may have a problem if you need to have sex during the initial stages of a relationship to determine possible future compatability. If you are the type that would rather build a relationship first, by getting to know someone's inner soul, how they feel, how they think.....before having sex, then it will not matter at all. You might have to fall in love before having sex and make sure the love is mutual, something not so common nowadays
 DragonBits
Joined: 1/6/2012
Msg: 48
Nipples or No Nipples, That is the Question
Posted: 5/16/2012 7:29:46 PM
As far as some sort of surgical procedure to replace your nipples, I wouldn't want anyone I was involved with to go through surgery just to make her appearence look a little more average. Specially since only I would actually get to see the results.

Unless you all want to go to topless beaches.
 laskoboo
Joined: 2/12/2010
Msg: 49
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Nipples or No Nipples, That is the Question
Posted: 5/16/2012 7:34:51 PM
op

google: 3 d nipple tattoos... illusion of protrusion.
sounds like its perfect for you.

let me know if you find someone in dfw area as after my medical nip tattooing fades ( about a year) going to the real tats... not the medical grade cosmetic crap at the ps offices.

dont forget to let me know if you find a 3 d tat artist in dfw !!!
I hate to have to go to kat von d in calif to get them !!! such a long distance !

ps never heard of the B flap and I am fully aware of all type of flaps and reconstruction methods. Perhaps you had something not typically done... not a tram, not a diep? not a siep or any of that but some individual thing due to failed inital surgery. least that is what I gathered, you had a failed first surgery (?)

anyways....... look into the 3d tat nipples.
your doctors office will not offer them, look online so you understand how they differ from the kind ps surgeons office offers.
Most everything like that is going to be in dallas tho... not tarrant county.

if none of that is an option there are too... press on nipples.. yep... lol
they are single use... amazing the stuff they have, everything but a cure !

and last but not least... there is henna dye that can be artfully applied with special technique to give illusion of protrusion although it is just temporary
and would require a great deal of skill or help of a good dye artist

best to you on the matter
These things are not anything our PS will ever mention to you. ( no $$$ for him/her)
 packagedealx3
Joined: 2/4/2006
Msg: 50
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Nipples or No Nipples, That is the Question
Posted: 5/17/2012 6:29:36 AM
Ah Silver, my condolences. I pretty much made my decision before walking into the doctor's office. Medically speaking I should have died five years ago, the boobs seemed a small sacrifice to ensure that I would be alive five years from now :) I was so shocked by the statistics and how lulled we've become with the pink ribbons, and so very blessed to have so very many people cheering me on and calling me brave when to me it seemed the only viable treatment.

HolyC it was the tram. And that was an easy choice as implants would have been very risky with me. I've been thinking about the tats, that would probably be cosmetic enough for me to not feel like a freak and that's another interesting question.

**Assuming the boob thing is mostly visual for men and nipples of dubious value beyond the visual outside their role in turning a girl on, I presume that a boob that looks like it has a normal areola without a nipple would be less trippy than a totally nude boob?**

I haven't even started digging around looking into the various tat options but someone posted a link a while back on facebook and my daughter is prepared to drive me to Seattle where there's a woman who specializes in cosmetic/scar tattooing, lol. Actually doing anything is quite a way down the road but I guess I try to manage my life the way I drive, paying attention to what's ahead and having my options vetted before I have to choose one.

Thank you again for your advice, your encouragement and your humor.
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