Notice: Forums will be shutdown by June 2019

To focus on better serving our members, we've decided to shut down the POF forums.

While regular posting is now disabled, you can continue to view all threads until the end of June 2019. Event Hosts can still create and promote events while we work on a new and improved event creation service for you.

Thank you!

Plentyoffish dating forums are a place to meet singles and get dating advice or share dating experiences etc. Hopefully you will all have fun meeting singles and try out this online dating thing... Remember that we are the largest free online dating service, so you will never have to pay a dime to meet your soulmate.
     
Show ALL Forums  > Relationships  > Nipples or No Nipples, That is the Question      Home login  
 AUTHOR
 ladysharonfish
Joined: 6/4/2015
Msg: 71
Nipples or No Nipples, That is the QuestionPage 4 of 5    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5)
13 Facts Everyone Should Know about Metastatic Breast Cancer
1. No one dies from breast cancer that remains in the breast. Metastasis occurs when cancerous cells travel to a vital organ and that is what threatens life.
2. Metastasis refers to the spread of cancer to different parts of the body, typically the bones, liver, lungs and brain.
3. An estimated 155,000 Americans are currently living with metastatic breast cancer. Metastatic breast cancer accounts for approximately 40,000 deaths annually in the U.S.
4. Treatment for metastatic breast cancer is lifelong and focuses on control of the disease and quality of life.
5. About 6% to 10% of people are Stage IV from their initial diagnosis.
6. Early detection does not guarantee a cure. Metastatic breast cancer can occur 5, 10 or 15 years after a person's original diagnosis and successful treatment checkups and annual mammograms.
7. 20% to 30% of people initially diagnosed with early stage disease will develop metastatic breast cancer.
8. Young people, as well as men, can be diagnosed with metastatic breast cancer.
9. Like early stage breast cancer, there are different types of metastatic breast cancer.
10. Treatment choices are guided by breast cancer type, location and extent of metastasis in the body, previous treatments and other factors.
11. Metastatic breast cancer is not an automatic death sentence. Although most people will ultimately die of their disease, some will live for many years.
12. There are no definitive prognostic statistics for metastatic breast cancer. Every patient and their disease is unique.
13. To learn more about National Metastatic Breast Cancer Awareness Day on October 13 and to access resources specifically for people living with metastatic breast cancer and their caregivers, visit www.mbcn.org.
 Lasthookbringsme
Joined: 11/8/2015
Msg: 72
Nipples or No Nipples, That is the Question
Posted: 12/31/2015 3:06:55 AM

Dated a gal with reconstructive surgery.

I made sure she knew in no uncertain terms how beautiful she was to me :)


That's one of the most beautiful things I have read on the forums, recently.
 Olivoil
Joined: 5/3/2015
Msg: 73
Nipples or No Nipples, That is the Question
Posted: 12/31/2015 3:25:41 AM
In many ways you're lucky. This will be a litmus test to screen the men you don't want to be with anyway. Anyone who doesn't understand there is a lot more to us than what's on the surface will take a hike. We all get a turn at this, our bodies change with age and sometimes they betray us. I see a good, high principled man falling in your lap. :)
 Inner_Gorilla
Joined: 12/3/2015
Msg: 74
Nipples or No Nipples, That is the Question
Posted: 12/31/2015 6:53:03 AM

There are no definitive prognostic statistics for metastatic breast cancer.


Ladysharonfish,

Your statements are misleading. They are not comparing apples to apples or apples to oranges but apples to pealed apples as if both were a type of apple.

There are many varieties of breast cancer. Not only in the area that they appear such as the ducts or the mammary glands, but whether they are in cluster tumors or dust-like particles, to what feeds them. Metastatic breast cancer is not a type of cancer, is a STAGE of cancer. Usually that is stage 4 or late stage 3, when some of the cancer can be found in some of the lymph nodes. Before metastasis, cancer can still grow and expand, but it does so within the confines of the tumors that they create. Metastasis is when the tumor breaks from within and sends the content of the cancer cells into either the blood stream or the lymphatic system.

So while everything you said is right, your statements are misleading.
 buxombad
Joined: 12/20/2015
Msg: 75
Nipples or No Nipples, That is the Question
Posted: 12/31/2015 7:47:52 AM

20% to 30% of people initially diagnosed with early stage disease will develop metastatic breast cancer.


This is simply not true and totally depends on the type of Breast Cancer, whether it is detected in the Nodes, how aggressive, etc.

It is true that nobody ever knows for sure if early stage cancer has spread beyond the breast. After surgery (lumpectomy or mastectomy) for example, Hormonal positive cancer is treatable and drugs like Tamoxifen and other drugs can help mop up dormant cancer cells that have spread beyond the breast.

But some unfortunate women do eventually have a recurrence even as long as decades down the road no matter what they did early on.

Regardless, this is not the place to discuss it. The very best place for breast cancer information, the different types, the latest state of the art treatments, and the best forums on the web bar none can be found at breastcancer.org.

All questions can be answered by experts and thousands of women who post there on a regular basis.

Good luck.
 ladysharonfish
Joined: 6/4/2015
Msg: 76
Nipples or No Nipples, That is the Question
Posted: 12/31/2015 5:25:30 PM
These statistics are true. 40,000 men and women die from breast cancer every year. Breast cancer is not curable. If you go to mbcn.org, you can view quite a bit of educational information. #IAMSUSAN will also give you some fabulous facts and information about breast cancer.
AGAIN, there is no cure. You can develop cancer in your lungs, brain, bones, liver etc. after you have been NED in no set period of time from initial diagnosis. Some are diagnosed with stage 4 from the start and this can often mean no surgery is performed. They do not know how breast cancer metastasizes in other areas. Once thought that it could travel through the lymph system was found not to be true, removal of lymph nodes is not a cure. Another thought was perhaps through blood, but it is not currently known.
No cure! They can treat all forms of breast cancer. Triple neg is the hardest to treat.
Her2+ they can keep you alive longer, but again, the studies indicate that with treatment, infusions every 3 weeks they can keep people alive for 10 years. This is chemicals herceptin and perjeta that are infused into your body. They also prescribed anti estrogen or other targeted therapies. All of these have side effects. THEY ARE NOT A CURE.
Some people can have + and - in different areas or when they develop breast cancer in a different area, it can be + when the initial diagnosed area was -.
Removal of the breast does not cure cancer. You can show no evidence of disease after the many forms of treatment.
I could keep writing, actually I am one of many that have assisted in educating people about stage 4.
Nothing that I have written is misleading. Facts are facts and there is no cure for breast cancer, no matter your stage, sex or age. Once diagnosed with breast cancer, you can show no evidence of disease after treatment, but this is not a cure. There are people that are alive that show No Evidence of Active Disease or Accelerated Disease, these are known as NEAD.
Having a breast removed is a very hard choice some women make, but it is for early stages. Once it has spread, you cannot remove bone, lungs brain and removal of the cancer in the breast isn't something surgeons will do.
Again...there is no cure. #STAGE4NEEDSMORE
Peace out
 buxombad
Joined: 12/20/2015
Msg: 77
Nipples or No Nipples, That is the Question
Posted: 1/1/2016 5:57:37 AM
So Lady if cancer is removed from the breast before it spreads beyond the breast, that is not a cure?
 packagedealx3
Joined: 2/4/2006
Msg: 78
view profile
History
Nipples or No Nipples, That is the Question
Posted: 1/1/2016 11:37:33 AM
Rockstar, I'm still here, just don't visit all that often.

So to update :) I've chosen to remain no nipples Kathy, as my friend and I decided we would call me. Still not dating either, not because I am still in poor health because I'm not, or that I'm uncomfortable with my body because even with the changes I still look a hell of a lot better than a lot of other people my age so I'm good.

To clarify with respect to the back and forth about the statistics and information. There ARE 40,000 people men and women dying of breast cancer every year. There are 200,000 people diagnosed with no family history. We are lulled into thinking that we've beat this disease with all of the pink ribbon paraphernalia but we haven't. We know not one more thing about the breast cancer that killed Susan Komen than we did when she died. We do know that there are two types of breast cancer.

My surgery was a choice when I was pre-cancerous. I was in a coma 10 years ago so when my doctor was trying to diligently explain my options I said whack them off. When you almost die at 42, doing what will nearly eliminate the threat to your life is a no-brainer. While a simplistic explanation there are two types of breast cancer, one is not too aggressive and is often treated well with chemo and radiation, the other is pretty much going to kill you it just depends on how long it is going to take.

Everyone has cancer cells in their bodies but our immune system normally kills them before they grow into anything that is really threatening. And no one is safe from cancer regardless of a healthy gene pool and even sometimes a healthy lifestyle. My best advice to anyone is change before you have a problem. My diet wasn't total crap before but I am much more conscious of eating cancer fighting foods and keeping my immune system in as good a shape as possible. I will have yearly cancer screenings for the rest of my life but it's not something I worry about. God seems quite invested in keeping me alive, if He changes His mind I hope I've used the extra years to their best advantage and that I am around to see my grandkids if not see them grow up.

People are very misinformed about cancer so my advice to anybody is in addition to treating your body right, do some research now, it may help you, a friend or a family member if you can steer them toward good information when they face this ****er.
 nightryder111
Joined: 12/18/2015
Msg: 79
Nipples or No Nipples, That is the Question
Posted: 1/1/2016 3:38:50 PM
I don't believe there is a cure for cancer; you can manage it in one form or another until it returns or you die from something else. But it's waiting to rear up again.

I have a friend who was diagnosed at 47 with breast cancer in December 2012. She had a lumpectomy in January 2013 followed by chemo and radiation plus all the good stuff like tamoxifen and hercepton (sp?) and was put in two studies, one a heart study. The cancer came back July 2014. This time they did a full mastectomy and lymph nodes followed by chemo and more drugs. Now she has lymphodema and is getting treatment for that, it won't go away but it helps. She goes mid April for reconstruction on the one breast, they are using her skin and fat to make her a breast and during the same surgery they will remove everything inside her "good" breast, including nipple, and insert an implant. She is my little "hero" in how she has handled this, it's been a stressful, painful and scary walk for her, her husband and two daughters (both still at home). My heart says "she is cured" but my head says "where and when will this cancer come back?".

Nipples? A man who loves you truly and deeply will not care about nipples, he will care about you and your health and happiness....just like you would with him.
 ShowboatSupreme
Joined: 11/10/2015
Msg: 80
Nipples or No Nipples, That is the Question
Posted: 1/1/2016 3:54:01 PM
^^^
That's a sad tale.

Nobody's balance of life should be consumed fighting like that.

I hope she stays cured :)
 packagedealx3
Joined: 2/4/2006
Msg: 81
view profile
History
Nipples or No Nipples, That is the Question
Posted: 2/28/2016 8:56:33 AM
Thanks Stickman, many excellent points and thanks for making me laugh, that's always appreciated. I know how lucky I am every day that I wake up, medically speaking I should have checked out in 2007. I had virgin skin until I was 48, lol when my daughter asked me to get a pink ribbon tat with her. My daughter included my initials in hers but it seemed a wee bit narcissistic and weird to do the same with mine. My youngest son had flippantly mentioned a couple of weeks before that I had nine live and I still had like six left, so the cancer tat became #7. The phoenix is number 9, ye olde coma, and number 8 still to be done is a Celtic cross for the gnarly wreck between the coma and the cancer :) I actually do want to do my chest, not so much because I want or need to cover up the scars but because I think a cherry blossom tat would look beautiful and why the hell not? lol

I don't see any frollicking in my near future as failure to launch and not yet old enough to leave will be rejoined by their returning to the launch pad sister and I'm having another surgery in a couple of months. My life has been odd because for most of the last ten years I didn't have the energy to do more than work and take care of the kids. Working on getting back to doing things I like to do and not always putting the kids first so in the process of that I imagine I will stumble upon someone. Or maybe I'll wind up being a dog lady, whatever I'm doing alive and happy works for me.
 Tarnished_Knight
Joined: 3/5/2009
Msg: 82
view profile
History
Nipples or No Nipples, That is the Question
Posted: 3/1/2016 7:08:21 PM
nnKathy:

Glad to hear you're well; your spirits sound solid, and I like the attitude.
The ink? To each their own -- go fer it!

nnKathy, It's interesting that I happened upon this post today. I remember the original posting and had to go back and see if I contributed; nada. Anyway, it made sufficient impression on me that this issue has cropped up in my thoughts over the past several years as I ponder dating, this WONDERFUL age we are, and that I know more and more friends and acquaintances passing on. Parents dying just brings it closer to home.

That said: I'm a nipples guy - I LIKE nipples. I like the way they look when they become punctuation through a graphic t-shirt; I like the way they look with out covers; I like the way they feel; I like the way the feel changes. Nipple are fun.
I like nipples.

BUT, if the lady I go weak in the knees for has to lose to save her life or she is w/o them when we meet -- I can assure you my days of liking nipples will be over. I would rather walk into old(er) age holding a warm hand than say goodbye and bury a hand that's gone cold.

I hope the next man in your life enjoys your cherry blossom tats!

TK
 oneday57
Joined: 10/17/2015
Msg: 83
Nipples or No Nipples, That is the Question
Posted: 3/7/2016 4:24:00 AM
At 51 your cute as hell and there's more to a relationship than nipples....if I were to date a woman that was in that situation I would want to know about this and what SHE would want in terms of any further chat.....sounds like your grounded good but everyone has insecurity issues.....CONGRATS on beating the big "C" and good luck!
 norwegianguy456
Joined: 6/11/2015
Msg: 84
view profile
History
Nipples or No Nipples, That is the Question
Posted: 3/7/2016 10:07:23 AM

I suspect that even for the best intentioned man, the nipples absent look might be something difficult to get past. So the question is dual, could you get beyond the whole no nipples thing and also at what point would I spring this on a guy?

I would spring that, along with other things, not too soon, not too late. Not before having a date, not after you begin to start seeing each other. A case by case basis, when things seem to be rolling well. Treat it like "Well, I still live with my mother." :)

Could I get beyond the no-nipples thing? Well, if she had no breasts at all, it would add to it, but if I'm willing to date a gal with no breasts (which would be a very unique situation for me to; a gal who'd be clearly out of my league otherwise) -- the no nipples thing would be able to get past.

If she got a boob-job, but didn't have nipples, that'd be kinda different -- some points lost -- but I'd like that better than no-breasts but nipples on the chest. Isn't there a way to get fake nipples, albeit probably not that great looking? A fake boob-nipple job, even with the nipples not looking natural at all, would be better than a gal with hugely sagging B cups after many years of age & kids.
 Inner_Gorilla
Joined: 12/3/2015
Msg: 85
Nipples or No Nipples, That is the Question
Posted: 3/7/2016 10:37:48 AM

If she got a boob-job, but didn't have nipples, that'd be kinda different -- some points lost -- but I'd like that better than no-breasts but nipples on the chest. Isn't there a way to get fake nipples, albeit probably not that great looking?


Most insurance companies that cover breast cancer are supposed to cover reconstructive surgery as well, which includes tattoos of the nipple. Also, many surgeons do a fake nipple area by cutting different sets of skin in the area and tying some sort of knot in the middle for the skin to protrude. Done right it's quite convincing. The only problem is that it does not have any feel.

Still, many women go through this procedure and many women like it to the alternative. To us guys, if you love the woman, it doesn't make one bit of difference.
 norwegianguy456
Joined: 6/11/2015
Msg: 86
view profile
History
Nipples or No Nipples, That is the Question
Posted: 3/7/2016 12:38:47 PM

Also, many surgeons do a fake nipple area by cutting different sets of skin in the area and tying some sort of knot in the middle for the skin to protrude. Done right it's quite convincing. The only problem is that it does not have any feel.

They don't have any feel? What do I care -- as long as I can feel them! ;) All kidding aside, if a gal's going to get her breasts lobbed off, she's going to be lacking feeling of any nipples anyway, so that shouldn't be a problem.

I think the no-nipple-feeling would only be an issue for a gal if she decides to get a total 100%-from-scratch boob job to avoid breast cancer when there are no signs of it, and, well, to have an improved chest to boot. But if there is cancer there, I think the no-nipple feeling would be the least of one's worries. Especially if they got a model-like chest replacement as a "look at the bright side" addition.

I know with any GF, if she even had slight signs of breast cancer, I'd lobby to have a 100%-from-scratch thing done with fake nipples. Win-win (except the bill, but nothing's for free)!
 Strider324
Joined: 2/17/2016
Msg: 87
Nipples or No Nipples, That is the Question
Posted: 3/8/2016 1:47:17 PM
Women have nipples??

Seriously, the whole body experience is typically so delightfully overwhelming that it would take a shallow or nipple-possessed man to care. Your ears, eyes, cheeks, philtrum, mouth, neck, scapula, uvula, armpits, breasts, waist, navel, spine, butt, hands, perineum, clitoris, anus, g-spot, a-spot, thighs, back of your knees, soles of feet....well, you get the picture - the body really is a Wonderland. Stressing over 1 part doesn't seem to make a lot of sense in the big picture.
 ForeverTexas25
Joined: 1/18/2015
Msg: 88
Nipples or No Nipples, That is the Question
Posted: 3/13/2016 4:21:14 AM
Just from your post I can tell that you have an awesome personality. I don't feel like that would be a deal breaker, especially if you've already had a few dates and are really connecting with the guy. Also, great attitude, and congratulations on beating cancer, I like how you were positive throughout your entire post, good luck!
 packagedealx3
Joined: 2/4/2006
Msg: 89
view profile
History
Nipples or No Nipples, That is the Question
Posted: 12/6/2016 7:12:51 PM
Norwegian guy, you would have liked my nipples, the temperature dial was always on cold, it was kind of irritating, plus back in the day it was such a great look volunteering at school lol. Considering a lifetime of sometimes (because I seriously hated bras) worrying about nipples showing in various clothing, I chose not to have them reconstructed. It can fairly easily be done but it is also purely cosmetic because there wouldn't really be any feeling going on outside of knowing someone is touching them. I actually have very good insurance and could have done the reconstruction pretty much at any time.

They no longer save the nipples btw because that is one of the places that bc cells tend to grow first so regardless if it is more than a lumpectomy the nipples go. I did have another surgery after the original post because my surgeon was a douche and my entire right side had to be redone, which required a 12" incision under the right arm to about the middle of my back, wrapping a muscle from my back to my front (rebuilding the bionic boob), as well as fixing a fluid pocket in my stomach and repairing stitches that needed to be tweaked because the fluid from the pocket traveled down an incision and blew the stitching out of place.

My second surgeon was fantastic skills wise, bedside manner and just giving a crap if I was healing well. Plastic surgery however is weird and it takes sometimes two years to really heal fully. I had a couple of issues that I thought I might be stuck with but this third and hopefully last surgery was still considered a part of his first surgery with me so we got the minor stuff handled and the tissue under my arm removed that made certain clothing uncomfortable, which I was pretty stoked about because I was totally prepared to just suck it up forever with that one. I AM sticking with the decision to forego the perky nipples for the ability to pretty much never have to wear a bra again.
 HippyDippyWeatherman
Joined: 3/20/2008
Msg: 90
view profile
History
Nipples or No Nipples, That is the Question
Posted: 12/6/2016 9:10:09 PM
I've seen documentaries where nipples can be tattooed on breast augmentation usually from the buttocks. I've been weened from breast feeding long ago, so I don't need them in a relationship.
 moonbeamlover1
Joined: 11/10/2016
Msg: 91
Nipples or No Nipples, That is the Question
Posted: 12/6/2016 9:51:03 PM
hey op? I don't know if you have seen it... but there is s place that one day a year does nothing but tats for breast cancer survivors with a design of the persons choice... and they are incredibly beautiful as well as a powerful statement. they augment the form that is there but can camouflage or hide whatever you want camouflaged IF you so desire. I had s friend be one of those chosen and she had a design ho from collar bone to mid torso and it was spectacularly done. i know you are not asking this as much as will some people care you don't have them ( answer of course I'd some will but there will be some that will find you incredibly beautiful without too... but it is an interesting idea s powerful statement and s way to show the beauty of survivorship.

either way strut your stuff and congrats on beating it ;)
 FullMoonGuy
Joined: 3/7/2014
Msg: 92
Nipples or No Nipples, That is the Question
Posted: 12/7/2016 12:58:22 PM

I've been weened from breast feeding long ago,


I haven't.

I guess that's why I like the "Got milk?" campaign so much.
 norwegianguy456
Joined: 6/11/2015
Msg: 93
view profile
History
Nipples or No Nipples, That is the Question
Posted: 12/7/2016 1:25:02 PM

It can fairly easily be done but it is also purely cosmetic because there wouldn't really be any feeling going on outside of knowing someone is touching them. I actually have very good insurance and could have done the reconstruction pretty much at any time.

Well, yeah, it is cosmetic -- and for oneself too. They wouldn't have to be big D cups getting in the way, straining the back of course. They could be relatively small & perky ones -- and with no actual nipples especially -- one would have zero need for a bra anyway, right?
 lucidbarrier
Joined: 12/24/2006
Msg: 94
view profile
History
Nipples or No Nipples, That is the Question
Posted: 12/8/2016 12:29:47 PM
I didn't read through the entire thread but I am glad that you are alive and healthy. I actually know someone going through the same thing you are and she is just going to get hers tattooed (i guess to just have them look like nippies).
I had two major surgeries within the past 12 months, basically to restore me to "being normal" again. There really is nothing you can do to prepare for the horrible pain and complications and procedures (I worked out before each surgery like a religious person). I hope you are healing up well.
 packagedealx3
Joined: 2/4/2006
Msg: 95
view profile
History
Nipples or No Nipples, That is the Question
Posted: 12/12/2016 10:28:04 PM
Lucid glad you are doing well too. I did what I could before my first cancer surgery which was like surgery 5 for me at the time, but I had more lead time before the second bc surgery so I tried to spend as much time in the pool getting into the best shape I could.

Moonbeam I would like to do cherry blossoms across the chest just haven't found design and artist I want to work with yet.
Show ALL Forums  > Relationships  > Nipples or No Nipples, That is the Question