Notice: Forums will be shutdown by June 2019

To focus on better serving our members, we've decided to shut down the POF forums.

While regular posting is now disabled, you can continue to view all threads until the end of June 2019. Event Hosts can still create and promote events while we work on a new and improved event creation service for you.

Thank you!

Plentyoffish dating forums are a place to meet singles and get dating advice or share dating experiences etc. Hopefully you will all have fun meeting singles and try out this online dating thing... Remember that we are the largest free online dating service, so you will never have to pay a dime to meet your soulmate.
     
Show ALL Forums  > Sex and Dating  >      Home login  
 AUTHOR
 SSC-SAF
Joined: 5/20/2012
Msg: 72
50 Shades of GreyPage 3 of 17    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17)

"An occasional diversion to a fantasy is okay, to actually want a 27 year old billionaire to take you to his dungeon and spank you instead of wanting a real man......Well lets just say that my picker pegs to the "run like hell" side of the gauge. " (i'm not sure how to quote)

Exactly, i don't think the people that are saying that have understood this book. Why would anyone want to go after a highly damanged man that admits he wants to "beat the shit out of you".

And all that this book promotes is leave the nice normal guys alone and go after the damaged bad boys that will mess up your life then you can run of complain and play victim .


Actually, these books blame Christian Grey's upbringing (or lack thereof) for his kink. That is extremely misleading, because upbringing has nothing to do with kink. Just like a person's being gay or bisexual, being kinky is in the wiring. A person may have had the stereotypical idyllic childhood or may have come from a perfectly vanilla, 2.3 children, nuclear-family, white-picket-fence suburban Stepford life, and still be kinkier than a Slinky. There's nothing wrong with that.

I dislike these books because (a) the writing is execrable, (b) the author knows jack shit about BDSM, (c) the girl is an idiot who seems to go along with what her man wants to do for the wrong reasons, and thinks she will change his natural desires for BDSM, and (d) people take the wrong ideas about BDSM from the books - as did you two.

In the BDSM scene, if a person does not want the shit beat out of them, then the beating doesn't happen. It's not fun for the beater if the beat-ee doesn't enjoy the beating. And yes, there are people who are wired to enjoy it, when it's done right. It's supposed to hurt - but not to harm nor injure. And not everyone who is into kink is also into beatings (impact play). There are many aspects of BDSM; some people enjoy all or most of them, some enjoy only a few specific activities. Some people like it from both the top/Dominant and the bottom/submissive points of view.

If it's not for you, that's fine. But that doesn't make the kinky people "damaged", "victims" or "bad".
 free4all59
Joined: 5/8/2012
Msg: 73
50 Shades of Grey
Posted: 6/6/2012 10:00:27 PM
never read the book, but have heard about it a lot, and from reading the posts in here, it seems there is some bondage involved. On the topic of being tied up, my mind goes back to the movie "Basic Instinct" so guys make sure there are no ice picks nearby when you allow yourself to be tied up. LOL
 honeycognac
Joined: 11/22/2010
Msg: 75
50 Shades of Grey
Posted: 6/7/2012 8:25:10 PM
Very eloquently stated SSC-SAF. There is so much ignorance about BDSM when in fact a relationship between a Dominant and a submissive can be much healthier than a vanilla traditional marriage. If the books throw that stereotype out there of the damaged guy and demons from a poor unbringing, there's another reason for me to avoid reading them.
 dreamer44440000
Joined: 5/25/2011
Msg: 77
50 Shades of Grey
Posted: 6/8/2012 5:30:10 PM
I read all 3 books ~ loved it! Now it will be interesting to see who their casting at Universal for the movie! YAY! :)
 micheleben
Joined: 4/17/2012
Msg: 78
50 Shades of Grey
Posted: 6/8/2012 5:38:04 PM
I couldn't agree with you more! I have read over a thousand romance novels, including erotica. And I finds this trilogy extremely interesting as well as educational. One must be able to look past the sexual experiences and look at the story line. I think how he got to be a dominate and how he works through that to become whole again is quite fascinating! And i completely agree that it is so uplifting how Christian can put his love's happiness and pleasure first. A+ to the arthor and her future as a writer! Look at the depth of the characters people! Then maybe you'll get it!
 jojoaus
Joined: 10/28/2007
Msg: 79
view profile
History
50 Shades of Grey
Posted: 6/8/2012 8:39:53 PM
I was considering buying the first novel but having read posts here by people whose views I admire... I shan't bother. I do really want to read some Anais Nin though, and again the posts here have nudged me closer to hitting the 'add to cart' button at my favourite online book store.
 whitewidow56
Joined: 5/3/2012
Msg: 80
view profile
History
50 Shades of Grey
Posted: 6/9/2012 5:40:12 AM
omg - that was hilarious video - I hae been reading it myself
 CharminC
Joined: 2/19/2011
Msg: 81
50 Shades of Grey
Posted: 6/9/2012 11:32:07 PM
Why live vicariously through cheesy prose when you can make the erotica real? Hell, even sexting is hotter than reading about someone else's fantasy.

^^
This

I've not read the book but heard much of it and along with the reviews posted here, it rings similiar to 9 1/2 weeks. Does it not? A storyline with only bits and pieces of hot moments between a man "controlling" a woman unleashing her inner "freak".
I did find 9 1/2 hot but only because I seen it during a time I was quite "vanilla" myself.
I still do like some pivotal scenes but agree with the poster above. Real life is hotter.
I assume those who find 50 shades hot because they have not experience it themselves? The ones who have tend to yawn at it.
 SSC-SAF
Joined: 5/20/2012
Msg: 82
50 Shades of Grey
Posted: 6/9/2012 11:58:35 PM

Look at the depth of the characters people! Then maybe you'll get it!

That's one of the problems...there is no depth to the characters. If this is good reading compared to other romances you've read, you may need to read some better quality romance writing.

BTW, the noun is Dominant. "Dominate" is what a Dominant does.
 debs123
Joined: 9/16/2007
Msg: 83
view profile
History
50 Shades of Grey
Posted: 6/10/2012 2:38:02 AM
From my experience Mr Grey is a one off....most guys 'make love' with their**** not their minds!! But we can always lose ourselves in the fantasy and hope always springs eternal even at my tender age and having been divorced for 13 years.
 london150
Joined: 6/23/2008
Msg: 84
view profile
History
50 Shades of Grey
Posted: 6/10/2012 7:19:15 AM
Personally I dont think everyone who is into BDSM is damaged or had a poor upbringing. Some people need a little more or just like variation in their sex lives. Sex is much more mental than anything, atleast to me. I have all kinds of scenarios in my mind that I want to try with the right partner and aint none of it vanilla and to think I was raised in a normal environment.
 godsvalentine
Joined: 10/9/2006
Msg: 86
50 Shades of Grey
Posted: 6/10/2012 8:56:32 AM
I am at the end of the book now; I know there's a good bit of talk about it, good and bad, but I've enjoyed it and plan to get the others as well.
I have a male friend who asked me to read it since he's into this sort of thing, but not so much the punishments, more the rewards. I saw him and myself in this book and he now wants to discuss the book with me.
It actually surprised me that I found the book exciting and was very intrigued by it.
 UniquelyPassionateCandy
Joined: 8/6/2011
Msg: 87
50 Shades of Grey
Posted: 7/8/2012 5:54:47 PM
I just finished 50 shades of grey and plan to read the other 2...The sex scenes were quite tame, but I enjoyed it. Personally I felt like it didn't get so dirty that you were going ugh! But just used the right words to make you go...Oh I want to be Ana! It's kind of like looking at classy nudes compared to nudes where they flash everything and leave nothing to the imagination.

My imagination was racing picturing the scenes. And sex aside, I like the story between them. The fact that they are so very different, from very different worlds...But both willing to try new things and keep open minds. The build of their relationship was what kept me reading.

Plus it also helps that I myself am a submissive female, who has thought about seeking out her Dom. In my fantasies!
 TheReason_
Joined: 5/16/2009
Msg: 88
view profile
History
50 Shades of Grey
Posted: 7/8/2012 11:57:50 PM
I heard it was a terribly written series, written for the lowest common denominator, and if he "crooked his neck" one more time his head was probably going to fall off. Repetitive repetitive repetitive.


Haven't read it myself, but the above review was from someone who reads, a lot.
 Pinky127
Joined: 1/7/2012
Msg: 89
50 Shades of Grey
Posted: 7/9/2012 12:22:44 AM

I read all 3 books ~ loved it! Now it will be interesting to see who their casting at Universal for the movie! YAY! :)


Ive nearly finished the 1st book and though im enjoying it,it doesn't really compare to my own sexlife.
Hollywood is considering Scarlett Johansson or Kristen Stewart......!
 gentleplus
Joined: 9/8/2008
Msg: 91
view profile
History
50 Shades of Grey
Posted: 7/9/2012 6:57:56 AM
Westerners are very focused on the externalities or mechanics of intimacy which in themselves cannot produce relationship...

There is a whole body of wisdom found in Kama Sutra and Tantric Love making practices....
The full integration/preparation/stimulation of mind/body/soul is a key precursor to a total intimate experience...

In modern western culture we TOTALLY miss the core to our REAL intimacy.... most women have a core sense of this connection but unless there is thoughtful intelligent mutual pursuit of this as a goal in a more purposed environment.... we will be forever frustrated with a shallow sharing of flesh without sharing of souls..... That is why 50 shades of Grey is such a blockbuster because it deeply explores the most intimate and even unknown aspects of our being and attempts to expose and celebrate those deepest feelings in both partners....

IMO
 want to travel
Joined: 7/29/2006
Msg: 92
view profile
History
50 Shades of Grey
Posted: 7/9/2012 1:25:03 PM
Not a great read...
but the books popularity,is the death of the metrosexual man
women, seem to want 'real men' again
personally, I think they always did......
they are just coming' out',now
what everyone needs is passion, not just sexual either, but passion about everything
 gentleplus
Joined: 9/8/2008
Msg: 93
view profile
History
50 Shades of Grey
Posted: 7/9/2012 2:42:03 PM
^^^^ Well said....
 MissShelle
Joined: 6/22/2012
Msg: 94
50 Shades of Grey
Posted: 7/9/2012 8:32:17 PM
I read the first chapter. The writing was so horrible and juvenile, I couldn't continue. I swear, it was written by a teenager who has read one too many Harlequin romance novels. No thank you.
 verygreeneyez
Joined: 3/15/2006
Msg: 95
50 Shades of Grey
Posted: 7/9/2012 10:09:24 PM

Personally I dont think everyone who is into BDSM is damaged or had a poor upbringing. Some people need a little more or just like variation in their sex lives. Sex is much more mental than anything, atleast to me. I have all kinds of scenarios in my mind that I want to try with the right partner and aint none of it vanilla and to think I was raised in a normal environment.

While I sooooooooooooo do not disagree with you ~ I do wonder why you have a photo of someone else on your profile.
In case you've not heard of this site previously?
http://www.tineye.com/search/7afd3b25b132d1a91177ea6aaad93378177d7709/
There you are.

~OT~ When the 50 Shades series came about, I thought it would be "enlightening" to some, disgusting to some and out and out enraging to others. I guess I was partially correct. Dr. Drew's wife wants to try it all, he thinks she's got issues. Personally? Having lived the "lifestyle" for well over 12 years ~ I can opine that the books, in and of themselves are indeed, fiction. First? It's nothing more than a re-write of the Story of O with a wealthy Dominant/Master. Second? There are so few women who would willingly ablige this billionaire that's it's laughable to me and third? It's frickin' fiction. Why so many are up in arms is beyond me. Truly. Live it for a minute and THEN decide if it's right or wrong for you. JMO
 nkr1980
Joined: 9/2/2011
Msg: 96
50 Shades of Grey
Posted: 7/10/2012 1:40:44 AM
While I was reading this topic, I received an email from my ex asking me to read this book as the guy in it resembles me in a lot of ways. So maybe, I might just have to bite and have a look.
 drewcornwall
Joined: 5/31/2010
Msg: 98
view profile
History
50 Shades of Grey
Posted: 7/10/2012 8:43:28 AM
The books been criticized in the US as "mommy porn" Cheap diaglogue. But hey, if it gets life back in to you , who cares. I am going to buy a copy.:)
 gentleplus
Joined: 9/8/2008
Msg: 100
view profile
History
50 Shades of Grey
Posted: 7/10/2012 8:52:43 AM
Whether you like it or dislike it .... the most important thing is that it is creating a whole new dialogue among relationships where each can explore and define mutual boundaries without shame or fear
 drewcornwall
Joined: 5/31/2010
Msg: 101
view profile
History
50 Shades of Grey
Posted: 7/10/2012 8:54:17 AM
Im more a 50 shades of colour person, i just want to compare notes.
 Monica417
Joined: 11/5/2010
Msg: 102
50 Shades of Grey
Posted: 7/10/2012 9:33:31 AM
Probably the best thing you can do for your mutual pleasure is talk openly about your wants, needs, desires, and fantasies with your partner.

I know that right now, I am having the most satisfying sex life that I've ever had, and it is because my partner and I are very open and honest with each other. Heck, about 90% of it is mental... We can talk and text back and forth for hours telling each other what we want done to us and what we want to do to each other. It is awesome as foreplay...then we get together and act it out! Sometimes we don't get to everything we talked about...but that is what tomorrow is for! :)
Show ALL Forums  > Sex and Dating  >