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 Monica417
Joined: 11/5/2010
Msg: 103
50 Shades of GreyPage 4 of 17    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17)
Oh, and PLEASE don't cast Kristen Stewart as Anastasia!!! She has dead eyes. :(

And I vote for Ryan Gosling as Christian...that man is HOT HOT HOT!!!
 Artistbythesea
Joined: 2/25/2011
Msg: 105
50 Shades of Grey
Posted: 7/10/2012 2:17:13 PM
I have read all three books on the Grey series. I found them to be exotic. I think though she made the world of BDSM look like a fairytale. If you like Julie Roberts in Pretty Women then its kind of the same a prostitute finds love in a rich man to take her off the street. Ana isn't a prostitute but ever Submissive dream to have a rich man take care of them like Christian Grey. It just a Cinderella fairytale.

If you think a Dominant and Submissive world is like this book, then think again. I suggest if you want to be a Sub, for you to do your research and homework. There will be pain, but a pleasurable pain, so you know what you can take and what you can't. Most of all you must have a trusted partner, because with out that you are playing a dangerous game. One lady comment that she didn't think that BDSM was normal that you had to be 50 shades of messed up to want to do this. What is normal? If someone didn't like ice cream, I would say they are not normal. I was a sub and I grew up normal went to church, play softball, high band, and college. So am I not normal? If you have two consenting adults I see nothing wrong with that.

I will not be going to see the movie if they do make one, unless I'm bored and nothing else to watch and rent it for the dollar red box. I feel they will make the world of BDSM look like a dream and every girls going to want to do it, if they don't already. Some Dominant going to take advance of that and some poor girls going to get hurt. So if your looking for your Christian Grey "Mr. Grey" please be safe, be smart, and trust your partner and you will have an experience like you have never had before. And "YES" you can have vanilla (normal) sex after an experience like this.
 want to travel
Joined: 7/29/2006
Msg: 106
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History
50 Shades of Grey
Posted: 7/10/2012 4:12:31 PM
The whole this is just too, funny
in a very, very sad way....
It seems like people need to be told, what to be sexually
lets see, in the last 50 years, our culture, has gone through,men, that dominate, the house(50's),free love,disco, withdrugs macho men free love(70s), softer kinder men women with extra padding on their shoulders80s,softer kinder, metrosexual men
now it looks like it gonna be rope,and women being sexually ravished, by 'romantic' men???!!!!!
lol
whats next......
it is going to be funny seeing middle class americans, version of kinky,lol
 tennisman2388
Joined: 3/26/2009
Msg: 108
50 Shades of Grey
Posted: 7/11/2012 7:52:25 AM
Not a matter of being cool or not....just a different preference.

Doesn't do it for me.
 srfdan
Joined: 4/18/2008
Msg: 109
50 Shades of Grey
Posted: 7/11/2012 1:35:42 PM
I have read them all. Not particularly well written. Fun reading. Most women are surprised that I would read them. I think all men should read them. We would be much better able to understand what women get aroused by if we read romance novels and the like. Remember the brain is the biggest sex organ! Laters Baby!
 tennisman2388
Joined: 3/26/2009
Msg: 112
50 Shades of Grey
Posted: 7/16/2012 9:04:45 AM
quote] If all these women actually wanted to be with a very dominant man, why are they not already?

Because as open and sexually liberated as we like to think we are, when it comes to a having secret submissive desires, or any kink for that matter, it can be an uncomfortable realization for many to openingly acknowledge and deal with.....for a variety of emotional and cultural reasons.

This is especially true if she is in a "vanilla" LTR and previously never even mentioned those desires to her partner. Then suddenly after all this time she's admitting she's had these submissive fantasies.....of being dominated, spanked, bound, teased, "controlled, used and consumed", and generally "made" to service her partner.

In order to openingly discuss and address she has to basically admit to her LT partner that she has been sexually unfullfilled by their relationship all this time, which can be a difficult conversation for some, especially if the partner is insecure or just not of like mind. Some couples make this transition, some don't. Consequently many women just bury their secret desires deep inside.....unless someone new comes along ....someone who accepts and celebrates those desires...........and can release the floodgate.....a real life Mr. Grey if you will.........devious grin.
 want to travel
Joined: 7/29/2006
Msg: 113
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History
50 Shades of Grey
Posted: 7/16/2012 9:34:04 AM
why are they not with dominant men???
not because women do not want to be
because, everything in our society, has become, bland
hardly anyone is ok with passion,
yet alone passionate sex
it is not 'OK, to be a feminine female,society, comes down very hard on women, if they are not 'independant'
if they, do not work, and heaven help, them if they love lots of sex.....
men, have become even more boring,beer, sports, and couch, no more needs to be said!!!
for petes sake, people need a book, a very badly written one just to be OK, with mild fantasies
 celtichopeful
Joined: 3/15/2012
Msg: 114
50 Shades of Grey
Posted: 7/16/2012 10:12:36 AM
totally agree about kriten stewart- dead eyes and not innocent eyes like the character actually is ( or starts out being anyway lol)
as much as i lvoe ryan gosling, he is my second choice for christian..Ian whats his name ( damon from vampire diaries ) is my first choice for the eyebrow arching alone lol
 SSC-SAF
Joined: 5/20/2012
Msg: 115
50 Shades of Grey
Posted: 7/16/2012 5:50:55 PM

If all these women actually wanted to be with a very dominant man, why are they not already?


Because a compatible Dom is very difficult to find.
 newjerseyfemale4u
Joined: 6/2/2011
Msg: 116
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History
50 Shades of Grey
Posted: 7/16/2012 6:01:15 PM
yes im on the 3rd book and its hard to put down. the more i was reading the more intense it got i cant wait until they make a movie about this book i hope its just as good!
 Monica417
Joined: 11/5/2010
Msg: 117
50 Shades of Grey
Posted: 7/16/2012 6:48:49 PM
Celtic----YES! Ian Sommer-something... he would be a good one, too. :) Although neither are gingers, lol.
 smokincigars
Joined: 3/25/2010
Msg: 118
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50 Shades of Grey
Posted: 7/16/2012 8:23:16 PM
Having read the various responses so far in this thread, it seems to me the majority of women who can get past the, shall we say, mediocre writing like the book. Those who have actually experienced BDSM seem to think it's rather tame; others ("vanillas"?) seem interested and perhaps stimulated or curious about this sort of thing. I have bought the e-book and am reading it now, so I can see for myself what all the fuss is about.

Questions for the ladies who have read the book, especially those in the 50-and-over range:

What did you enjoy or identify with in "50 Shades Of Grey"? The sexual descriptions? The bondage/domination aspect? The girl's feelings for the guy? His feelings (or lack thereof) for her? The secrecy of the relationship? Something else?

What insights would you want a man to take away after reading the book? I can imagine that some women would find this sort of thing exciting, but can't imagine many would actually any of the kinkier actions described. They might fantasize about parts of it, how many would actually want to try anything "kinky" from the book even in play with a partner they trust and feel safe with? Or is that the point: they don't want to feel safe?

Can pain (I've just read about the spanking) really be pleasurable in some way?

How far would you be willing to go with the action described in the book? (I can't imagine most would go very far, except those already into BDSM.)

Or is this sort of thing "hot" only when the man is rich, powerful, extremely handsome and enigmatic? (He's never been known to be involved with any woman before this -- and he's famous, so any woman he's seen with publicly would be noticed. Even his mother apparently isn't sure of his sexual orientation.)

Should I even bother reading the rest of the book, or just move on?
 gtomustang
Joined: 6/16/2007
Msg: 120
50 Shades of Grey
Posted: 7/17/2012 4:57:36 AM
and what's the best part of dominence? well...not having to take responsibility.

it all reminds me of a book i read as a kid, ninja mind control. first chapter was about how controlling others meant you had to react to them, so they controlled you as well, like how the abolitionists said to keep a slave in the ditch, meant getting down there too.

best control was to have control over your own wants and desires, and then you reached calm, which then attracted those you wished to control...yet by then, you didn't need to control them anymore.

didn't bother to read the book after that :)
 SSC-SAF
Joined: 5/20/2012
Msg: 121
50 Shades of Grey
Posted: 7/17/2012 6:27:48 AM

and what's the best part of dominence? well...not having to take responsibility.


Are you kidding? A Dom (or Domme) is absolutely responsible for not harming the sub - especially if said sub is blindfolded, gagged and in bondage. Tough for the sub to get up and leave in that situation, thus the aspect of trust that is crucial to all BDSM scenes.

The sub is in charge only because s/he can stop the scene with a prearranged safe word or motion (if s/he can't talk). Of course, if one is playing with a nutcase, said nutcase is in charge. That's why screening one's partner is so important.

BTW, the spelling is dominance, with an a.
 tennisman2388
Joined: 3/26/2009
Msg: 124
50 Shades of Grey
Posted: 7/17/2012 10:15:23 AM

She has the ability to take it or leave it, stop when she wants and make the rules. He just exerts control in what she is comfortable with. Yes he barks orders and "punishes" but only when she gives the green light....


Yep...Grace has touched on the mental aspect that is far more important then ANY particular physical act involving, bondage, disclipline, pain or pleasure. D/s is not simply a collection of recreational/erotic acts. And it's also true that the submissives's secret yearnings and limits actually determine the pace and composition of virtually everything.

More importantly, it's about the psychological connection between two people that are wired a very particular way....and many times involves an erotic and emotional awakening of sorts.
 Tgav4367
Joined: 4/28/2012
Msg: 125
50 Shades of Grey
Posted: 7/17/2012 10:27:00 AM
I found the trilogy to be just OK.

From the kink side I think it was tame and really didn't make me want to reach for my hitachi.

Double crap, did I just type that?
 vestaceres
Joined: 6/13/2012
Msg: 126
50 Shades of Grey
Posted: 7/17/2012 3:00:11 PM
It is a serious ****ed up read - and poorly written, too.
 77Ryan
Joined: 10/8/2010
Msg: 127
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50 Shades of Grey
Posted: 7/17/2012 3:59:25 PM
I read the books and I wasn't a fan. There was no actual story and the sex scenes were written like the act was over in 30 seconds. The great thing about these books: They have done a good thing in opening up women's minds sexually. I can never be against anything with that effect.
 smokincigars
Joined: 3/25/2010
Msg: 128
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50 Shades of Grey
Posted: 7/17/2012 7:07:28 PM
petygrace80, thanks for the well thought-out and enlightening response to my questions.

If I understand correctly, what's happening between Christian and Anastasia is just a game and both of them know it, although Ana is obviously new to it and very confused about just how much of a "game" it is. He has control over her only because she allows it, and she can stop a particular activity (or all participation) at any time if it goes beyond what she is willing to allow. Okay, that makes sense, I suppose.

I have a harder time with the idea that pain can actually be part of, or add to, pleasure. I could see an implied threat of pain or coercion as part of the game activities; but actually inflicting or willingly accepting pain, especially during an otherwise pleasurable act, still doesn't "compute" with me.

The "contract" I understand, or at least I think I do. It is not a legally enforceable document, obviously, but is only binding to the degree that the two parties trust each other. It does spell out what is and what isn't allowed, especially the "hard limits". I was surprised to find that the contract between Christian and Ana includes a time limit -- that never would have occurred to me.

Having read a little about "dungeons", I don't think anything I've read so far about the Red Room Of Pain surprised me -- except maybe the leather-covered mattress. I'll assume it's both comfortable and practical, since bodily fluids wouldn't soak through the leather cover. Personally, I think I'd prefer rope (soft fibers, of course) over chain, but that's just me.

Would it be hot to play out some of what I've read in the book so far? Oh, yeah! I recognize that I like to be the one who "takes charge" in the bedroom, but I grew up in a time when men (and boys) were led to believe that women could enjoy sex but didn't really want it anywhere near as much as men did. I have learned since then that some women crave sex as much as the average man, or even more in a few cases. (I consider myself "above average" in that regard, but how would I really know?) I could probably indulge in some very tame roleplay -- I have, in fact -- but don't know if I could ever move beyond using simple restraints that the lady could get out of easily enough with a little time; I would not want her to think I take the roleplay so seriously that she can't walk away of her own volition, safeword or no safeword. (Can restraint have the same effect when it's more symbolic than real?)

I have to admit the whole thing is a bit titillating, but also confusing. If I were a dominant obviously I would not feel threatened, but I can't quite get my head around the idea that a woman would be so submissive that she wouldn't feel threatened -- and indeed, Anastasia does seem to feel threatened by some of what I have read so far, although she also seems to enjoy it too.
 smokincigars
Joined: 3/25/2010
Msg: 129
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50 Shades of Grey
Posted: 7/17/2012 7:16:16 PM
77Ryan, I will agree that the sex scenes seem to go a little quickly, but I'll assume this is part of the writer's style -- I don't think the book is intended to be overly pornographic. As for "an actual story", I can't really have much of an opinion because I'm only partway through the book; but so far it has enough of a storyline to keep me reading to see what will happen to Ana next. I do find myself caring about Ana's well-being, and trying to figure out Christian's motivations, so I suppose for me the story is at least passable. And I understand the author is an Englishwoman who started this as fan-fiction inspired by the Twilight" series, so she probably wasn't trained or every experienced in writing fiction; it's not too bad for a first published work.
 richardblaine
Joined: 5/14/2012
Msg: 130
50 Shades of Grey
Posted: 7/17/2012 7:44:24 PM
Now that is a great line.
You should have written the book.
 Pingshooter
Joined: 3/15/2009
Msg: 134
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50 Shades of Grey
Posted: 7/19/2012 2:59:30 AM
When everyone started posting about this book, I bypassed reading anything about it.

I just wasn't interested...I thought it was about hair color.
 gtomustang
Joined: 6/16/2007
Msg: 136
50 Shades of Grey
Posted: 7/19/2012 5:13:55 AM
ssc, you missed my point...the lack of responsibility is from the perspective of the one in control, ie, the sub. the sub gets to say, "i'm not responsible for enjoying this (or whatever), i'm tied up/giving up control/whatever".

that's my prob w/ sub/dom...its a lie. be really out of control, knowing you can handle any result of same b/c you can handle situations or b/c you can handle the results...that's a better "game" to play, showing just how good you really are at handling things instead of playing safe inside boundaries. like, say, an extreme sport.
 gtomustang
Joined: 6/16/2007
Msg: 137
50 Shades of Grey
Posted: 7/19/2012 9:39:35 AM
y'know, the reactions to this book are interesting: some guys feel as threatened by this mythical fantasy as they are of a vibrator--the fear of replacement.

Women defend any interest in the book the same way guys talk about their interest in strippers: either (A) don't worry honey its just a fantasy, I don't expect this in real life or (B) its stupid, I don't understand how others of my gender find this interesting, but don't paint me with this broad brush.

Still, that doesn't mean it isn't tripe. My boss's wife read it, and she bugged him constantly for sex (he's a decade her senior, she's always bugging him for sex and the other guys at work tease him about complaining about it) and even tried something new from the book--wrapping her legs around him. I tried to explain what Coital Alignment Technique is (apparently the book doesn't mention this), and I got the usual blank looks--no wonder I can't get a date, no one is even interested in learning how to have better sex :) lol

So, the book is poorly written--either the author truly understands the intended audience, or the audience coincidentally isn't looking for good writing. maybe its the modern rendition of "O". I might just have to get the darn book just to see what's the hook. Then again, I wonder why people think "Breakfast at Tiffany's" is so great. Holly GoLightly can't be bothered to keep her doorkeys, helps a drug dealer in order to pay the bills, thinks playing stupid will get her off, can't even name her cat b/c it would mean she has to be responsible, abandons her kids and husband to chase rich men who see her coming a mile away and refuse to give her money for what she gives them...i mean, imagine HGL played not by a child-like waif, but a lazy, ugly woman muffintopping in sweatpants...and you can see why Truman Capote hated the characters he created.

Its almost like a test, to see who sees the lack of character in the characters :) lol Frankly if you like watching men act like oblivious animals, go catch Paul Newman in "Hud". The camerawork nearly out-stars Newman...
 jmoinajo
Joined: 6/11/2012
Msg: 138
50 Shades of Grey
Posted: 7/20/2012 5:27:52 AM
Nothing that has not been better written elsewhere.

I don't really like reading about sex, I do or I watch or I self do.
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