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 AUTHOR
 bijinfinder
Joined: 6/14/2009
Msg: 315
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History
50 Shades of GreyPage 8 of 17    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17)
What is it about Grey that some women like? I find the whole concept baffling. Do some women like being bossed around? Is it the total Alpha male thing? Do some women like being spanked hard? What is it?
 PrettyInRoses
Joined: 6/2/2012
Msg: 316
50 Shades of Grey
Posted: 9/9/2012 3:37:41 PM
Lol Lol Lol Lol LolLol Lol Lol Lol Lol Lol Lol Lol Lol Lol Lol Lol Lol Lol Lol Lol Lol Lol Lol Lol Lol Lol Lol Lol Lol Lol Lol Lol Lol Lol Lol Lol Lol Lol Lol Lol Lol Lol Lol Lol Lol Lol Lol Lol Lol

Sorry I had to put so many Lol in there. I had to do this just so that I could send a lengthy enough email.
 Eros_realm
Joined: 5/7/2012
Msg: 317
50 Shades of Grey
Posted: 9/10/2012 10:47:07 AM
Reading and Movies are for entertainment. Go make your own fun.
 RatchetJaw1
Joined: 8/21/2012
Msg: 318
50 Shades of Grey
Posted: 9/10/2012 2:01:18 PM
We live in a time when the powers that be are trying to reverse and confuse the roles of the sexes, which is unnatural. As much as women are programmed to believe that they want to put their careers first, and find a man who will follow them around like a little puppy dog, I think this book speaks to the modern female psyche which is screaming out for masculinity in this day and age of fist pumping metrosexuals.
 SmileznChuckles
Joined: 9/7/2012
Msg: 319
50 Shades of Grey
Posted: 9/11/2012 7:32:39 PM
I find the whole concept baffling that men find the whole concept baffling
 CountryLivingGal
Joined: 1/11/2011
Msg: 320
50 Shades of Grey
Posted: 9/11/2012 9:15:50 PM
Some of my coworkers started reading the series this summer....I never got around to their copy of the books, so I didn't get to read it.....but I did get to borrow the first book....from a man that I am dating from POF Seriously!
 CountryLivingGal
Joined: 1/11/2011
Msg: 321
50 Shades of Grey
Posted: 9/11/2012 9:19:26 PM
I think they found his "Playroom" on an episode of Ghost Hunters.......they recommended getting rid of all the paraphernalia due to extremely negative vibes!! LOL!
 Drawesome32
Joined: 6/26/2012
Msg: 322
50 Shades of Grey
Posted: 9/11/2012 11:29:52 PM
redsox: a bestseller, isnt an award given because a book is considered a good book. its a reward given to a book that sells well. most best sellers arent good books actually, theyre just the crap that people buy. the author just knew they could make a buck buy peddling this garbage to lonely women.
 fuzzyhamster
Joined: 8/13/2009
Msg: 323
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History
50 Shades of Grey
Posted: 9/12/2012 2:24:23 PM
Yes with women have desires but with only 5% of levels a of testosterone as men....You have know idea!
 aussiesealady
Joined: 11/10/2011
Msg: 324
50 Shades of Grey
Posted: 9/12/2012 5:52:03 PM
The reason that women like the book is that it is romantic eroticism written from a female perspective. Very very different to porn or male centric eroticism.

The lady always comes first, at least twice and has amazing sensual and mind blowing orgasms.

If a man can do that for a woman as often as Christian Grey does whilst being as charming as he is - except for the Dom and pain and control freak bits he would be heaven.

Would I date a real Christian Grey? Not in a pink fit. The control freak and stalking before anything else happened would have had me running for the hills.

IF I was able to select the bits I wanted and not have the bits I didn't want.
Abso-bloody-lootely.
 Twitch369
Joined: 1/17/2012
Msg: 325
50 Shades of Grey
Posted: 9/12/2012 6:38:57 PM

IF I was able to select the bits I wanted and not have the bits I didn't want.
Abso-bloody-lootely.

One could say this about ANY man. Christian Grey is NOT charming. In any way. And as I've said many times, I don't think he's giving her mind blowing orgasms, I think she's just extremely easy to please.
 Solange_Bond2
Joined: 7/31/2012
Msg: 326
50 Shades of Grey
Posted: 9/12/2012 7:35:10 PM
This is SO disturbing! I think it's important that people are aware of what they are accepting as NORMAL!
I personally couldn't sit with the book 50 Shades of Grey for more than a couple of chapters, the writing was so bad, and I'm a snob when it comes to such things... but there was something else, something that deeply bothered me about the plot line, and now I know why...

Because I can't post links here, I'll repost the actual article...

Fifty Shades Of Grey – Pedophilia Hiding In Plain Sight (Letter from a reader)
by Ulsterman on August 16, 2012 with 127 Comments in News

NOTE: This message was left on on unrelated political story on my site. My first instinct was to simply delete it. As I read further though it became apparent the author is being very sincere in what she is communicating here. I also, like many of you, continue to be outraged by the sickening Jerry Sandusky tragedy. While I am not nearly so familiar with the story 50 Shades of Grey beyond the apparent fact it’s very popular among women, the author of this message details a compelling case for something far more dangerous and sinister going on with a book that has been embraced by the mainstream. I won’t make any judgments as to the validity of this author’s claims quite yet. Perhaps those of you more familiar with the book, who can corroborate or dispute the evidence, can do so on your own in the comments section. If what Kat says is right though, what does that say of our society that so many so willingly embraced a story of pedophilia that, as she has put it, was “hiding in plain sight”.
The story of convicted child rapist Jerry Sandusky is well known. So too is the 50 Shades of Grey phenomena, a book that has become so popular among women that some are referring to it as “Mommy Porn” for the masses. That description is actually a lot more disturbing than a lot of folks are currently realizing.
Yes, 50 Shades is pornography. Like most pornography, the storyline is weak, the characters one-dimensional, while the sex itself graphic, detailed, but formulaic. The underlying theme to 50 Shades is something far more sinister and appalling though than your mere run-of-the-mill porn. It is pedophilia. It is child porn. Kiddie porn.
Now I know after saying that, many female fans of 50 Shades, many of them mothers, will naturally put up a defense against that kind of description. These women, being mothers, are naturally wired to protect kids. People like Jerry Sandusky are viewed with hatred, revulsion, and disgust. Rightfully so. What mother would want to condone anything having to do with the sexual abuse of children? Of innocents?
But that is exactly what 50 Shades of Grey is really about. It is a story of a girl being sexually molested, over and over again, by a male figure with all the power, all the control. It is the classic abuse scenario. And mothers are, in some cases, quite literally getting off on it, which takes the disgust of this phenomena to a whole other frightening level.
So having put that out there, and I hope I haven’t lost any of you just yet. I owe you an explanation after having made that kind of accusation about a book some of you may be reading right now. I’ll start with a bit of background first.
My professional experience centers around nearly 20 years with Child Protective Services. Over that time, I’ve seen situations that do, literally, keep me up at night. The amount of abuse that is going on in our society, that sexualization of our kids…well basically, what you hear about, what is reported in the news, that is only a small sample of just how large of a problem and the disgusting acts that are going on every day. Kids are being raped. Kids are being abused. Every single day. Over and over and over again.
I didn’t seek out 50 Shades of Grey. It was brought to my attention by a longtime friend who is also a clinical psychologist at a university. She’s a bit older than me. She grew up in the counter culture era and did her fair share of experimentation of all kinds. So she’s hardly a prude. What she today though is a mother and grandmother. And she’s smart. One of the things that fascinates her is this age of cultural phenomena. How due to technology things now spread so quickly throughout society and become the next big thing at an increasingly rapid pace. She says sometimes this phenomena is pretty much harmless, and other times it can be very damaging to kids and or adults who begin to emulate something out of a need to belong to the “next big thing”.
Her reaction to 50 Shades of Grey though was much more aggressively negative than anything I could recall her talking about before. It came up because I mentioned it to her offhand. I had seen a couple mentions of it on the news and knowing her interest in cultural trends, asked her about it. She stopped talking, looked right at me, and said the book was about pedophilia. And it was her who then connected it to the Sandusky tragedy where so many young boys had been sexually abused. Sandusky committed his acts of crime under the cover of actually helping youth. That is how he gained access. My friend said 50 Shades was basically the same exact thing. Its cover was a story of a young woman engaging is a very graphic sexual relationship with a somewhat older man.
The problem for her, and it was a BIG PROBLEM, was that the narrator in the story, was in fact, an underage girl. My friend indicated, based on the use of language in the narration, that this girl was likely no more than 12 or 13 years of age. I made mention that the girl in the story was actually getting ready to graduate college. My friend, a woman with years of experience as a clinical psychologist, whose expertise I had personally witnessed a number of times over the years, shook her head and told me that she would not be able to convince me by simply talking about it. She said I should read the book myself, but do so with the eyes of somebody whose job it had been for many years to try and protect children. As someone who has seen over and over the signs of abuse, and the damages of abuse. Because there are always warning signs. I know that. How many times have I heard people horrified in saying “I can’t believe I didn’t see that” “How couldn’t I have known?” Or even worse, “I knew something wasn’t right but I didn’t want to believe they were capable of doing something like that.”
I’ll try and summarize my friend’s words at this point as best I can.
“Sexual predators are cons. They almost always have a cover. It’s that cover which allows them access. 50 Shades of Grey is a con. It now has access to millions of readers. It is a story about abuse from beginning to end. And it’s not just the abuse of a man and a woman – it’s the abuse of a man and a girl.
When you read it, look for the signs. They are all there.
The female character has no sexual experience. None. She is given the age of 21, but that age is itself a cover. Her true emotional age is much-much younger. She has never even masturbated. She has never even experienced an orgasm. That alone is one of the greatest attractions to the pedophile. That is the psychology of that kind of act. You get off on taking purity.
But move from the fact the girl has no sexual experience whatsoever. Now pay attention to her narrative dialogue. Really listen to how she talks. Again, she’s not talking like a young woman, she’s talking like a girl. She talks about cartwheels, and skipping, over and over again it is the language and the imagery of a girl.
After that this girl has her innocence taken from her. The abuser, the older man, makes her think its her choice. Again, you and I both know that is one of the primary tools of the pedophile. They create an environment where the child feels it’s their idea. It’s what they want. But what happens after that innocence is taken away? Then the abuser becomes more openly abusive. Controlling. In this story he tells the little girl how to speak. What to wear. What to eat. He is Daddy and she is daughter. When you read it read it like a mother who is also a woman who is experienced with the real life tragedy of abuse.
And there is many more themes about that abuse in this book. There is spanking and the use of Baby oil. Why baby oil? Think about it. The girl wears pigtails. She complains that he is treating her like a child. He says she acts like a child. There is even a scene where the abuser creates a situation to take her innocence from her again. He rips out her tampon and engages in forceful sex yet again. Her hymen is ripped, and the bloody remnants of it are again symbolized in an act of pedophile rape.”
She went on to say there are women now defending the book, and she understands that, but it concerns her. A great deal, because she is absolutely convinced the book is purposely advocating the raping of a child and attempting to normalize that atrocity.
So, I left that conversation thinking maybe my friend was exaggerating. I had a hard time believing something so popular could actually have such a sinister and revolting theme, and while I respected her expertise and experience, thought this time she had to be seeing something that just wasn’t there.
I got the book, I sat down, and I read it.
The first thing that struck me was how poor the writing was. It wasn’t just bad. It was horrible. But horrible writing is no crime, (thank goodness or I would have been put away a long time ago) and it doesn’t make the content of the story evil. But in my reading of it, just like my friend said, the theme of child abuse, of pedophilia, was right there in plain sight. I remember being told a long time ago that sometimes the best way to hide something is in plain sight. That is what 50 Shades of Grey is really doing.
The main character had no sexual experience. None. She was an innocent. She was a kid who had just had her first drink of alcohol. No way that was an accident by the author. That author had to have purposely made her, despite her given age of 21, by any other measure, a little girl. At that point, it struck me as odd. In my business, we call that a warning signal. A sign we may have a problem.
From there, just like my friend had warned, it got worse. Much worse. And she was right, her telling me about it did not have the impact of me reading it myself with eyes open. She had given me the signs to look for, and as I turned the pages, those signs confirmed it over and over again.
The narration, which is the voice of the girl talking to the reader, was the voice of a little girl. It’s unmistakable. There is very little emotional maturity and absolutely no sexual maturity. She is seduced by this man in the very same way a pedophile seduces a child. The male character is Gerry Sandusky. He makes a show of his money, his power, the things he can buy for her, but while this is going on, we are reading the thoughts of a child. We are reading the seduction of a little girl by a pedophile. She is almost completely powerless. She is naïve even for a teenager, and certainly much much more naïve than a college student. She is incapable of even making the most simple of every day decisions and must be told what to do by her abuser, who in turn though spends a lot of time and effort convincing this child this is really what she wants. I’ve seen this before. Too often. Too many times. And it always leaves me sickened.
We are reading child pornography. Remove the false age of the girl, which has no basis in reality, and what we are actually reading is the abuse of a little girl.
The main character is described in pigtails, given words like “Holy Cow” “down there”, “jeez” “double crap” she can’t operate a computer (but is supposedly a college graduate), describes skipping and doing cartwheels, repeatedly says she is made to feel like a child, has her imaginary friend (inner goddess) feels shame, is spanked and slathered in BABY OIL, told what to say, what to eat, what to do, until finally and sadly so predictably, is physically beaten. (But she returns to him soon after, which is again, a very common theme of abuse, including pedophilia)
And beyond all of this evidence there is the fact that the male character is himself a product of sexual abuse at the hands of a pedophile. The girl whose thoughts we listen in on as she is being abused, recognizes this aspect of the male abuser, but apparently, is too naïve or unwilling to realize she has continued this cycle of abuse herself. (Which again reinforces the idea that she is actually herself just a child) There is no way the author did this by accident. She puts out the theme of pedophilia openly, therefore hiding it in plain sight.
People who have had to deal with the real world of sexual abuse of children will understand this perhaps more easily than others. How the pedophile is so often themselves victims of earlier abuse. They enter society, they become fathers or mothers, but so often they too become abusive. They seek out dominance, control, and the taking of innocence just as it was taken from them. Those who were once abused, become the abuser. It is the sad sick and tragic cycle of pedophilia.
With 50 Shades of Grey this abnormal condition is trying to be normalized. Thanks to the insight of my friend, and my own experience, I know it for what it truly is – a story of the sexual abuse of child, wrapped in the cliché cover story of a mysterious and troubled wealthy man. That is another thing my clinical psychologist friend pointed out later. Take away the aspect of money, and the character of the abuser becomes much less attractive and therefore it would have been much more difficult to pull of the deception. Are women actually that shallow? Yes, we can be.
But women, the vast majority of us, are not people who knowingly condone the sexual abuse of children. We do not condone in any way, the horror that is pedophilia.
Sadly though, that is exactly what is happening with the popularity of 50 Shades of Grey. It’s a pedophilia con.
It is one of the most horrible and sickening acts against the most powerless of our society, hiding in plain sight.
Maybe my friend put it best when we talked all of this over. 50 Shades of Grey didn’t excite her. She didn’t find it interesting, sexy, or romantic.
50 Shades of Grey made her weep. It made her sick. It made her think of the abuses of all of those kids by a demented, warped monster like Jerry Sandusky, who, just like the pedophilia of 50 Shades of Grey, was hiding in plain sight.
 aussiesealady
Joined: 11/10/2011
Msg: 327
50 Shades of Grey
Posted: 9/12/2012 7:50:28 PM
^^^
If you had read the book.
He is the one who was molested and mistreated as a child.
And she is the one with all the power.
She can and does say no, go away a few times.
She is there through choice not coersion nor abuse.
I did not read the inner goddess skipping and doing cartwheels as anything other than Yippee.

The only paedophilia is of a mature woman (A Mrs Robinson character) with Christian Grey as a teenager.
And only Ana Green and Christian's adoptive mother when she finds out have any problem with it.
Certainly Christian Grey does not.

I was horrified at the treatment of Christian Grey both by his birth mother and the Mrs Robinson charachter.

All other people in the book did what they did from their own free will.

p.s. I am not a mother.

Why do so many people over think all of this.
It is fiction!
 Twitch369
Joined: 1/17/2012
Msg: 328
50 Shades of Grey
Posted: 9/12/2012 7:53:34 PM
I couldn't read that whole article, but the book has nothing to do with pedophilia in any way. Ana is an adult, a consenting adult at that. Some people enjoy pain in with their pleasure, I know I do... that doesn't mean if my partner does one of those things I like that it is abuse... I consented, and it definitely doesn't mean they are a pedophile. To equate abuse with pedophilia is just completely fallacious. Again, Ana is not a child, and it wasn't even abuse.

I've said many times I really didn't like the characters, and I strongly believe Christian Grey is an unappealing man. I don't see the attraction (outside of the money of course). He's a stalker, and has no respect for women at all. That being said, to claim pedophilia is just a ridiculous argument.
 bijinfinder
Joined: 6/14/2009
Msg: 330
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History
50 Shades of Grey
Posted: 9/13/2012 3:54:10 PM
Nothing like a good old conspiracy theory. lol Bet if we read it backwards we would get messages from the devil.
 LG2727
Joined: 1/20/2010
Msg: 331
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History
50 Shades of Grey
Posted: 9/13/2012 7:22:34 PM
I havent read the book but from what I've heard, it would appeal to women who are not very experienced or lead very sheltered or boring lives.
 Drawesome32
Joined: 6/26/2012
Msg: 332
50 Shades of Grey
Posted: 9/13/2012 8:29:03 PM
what i find interesting is that if someone wrote erotica to appeal to men, it wouldnt catch on like this stuff does for women.

heres what it would be: megan fox shoes up at my house one night, in just a robe. she takes off her robe and gives me the best blow job ive ever had, while i watch sports. after thats done, she cooks me dinner, cleans my house, and goes home so i can sleep. the end.

that would be the perfect situation for many men, yet you dont see us buying books so that we can read about it and then try to convince women they need to read it and learn how to please us. thats because we know its just a fantasy and dont expect it.
 HaydenFan
Joined: 10/19/2011
Msg: 333
50 Shades of Grey
Posted: 9/13/2012 8:52:17 PM

I havent read the book but from what I've heard, it would appeal to women who are not very experienced or lead very sheltered or boring lives.


Bingo! Hearing what a buzz people were saying about it I flipped through it a few days ago. What shit writing. No wonder I can't get published lmao. I'll definitely be writing some mommy porn with the numbers this pos is making.
 gentleplus
Joined: 9/8/2008
Msg: 335
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History
50 Shades of Grey
Posted: 9/14/2012 6:43:54 AM
To me the whole book is a sad commentary about the celebration of dysfunction and objectifying relationships...

What I find most astounding is that it has mass appeal to many women.... every feminist complaint and objection to how men act in relationship is magnified and celebrated.... how sad .... or just confused we are as a society..... looks like we don't know what authentic relationship truly is about at all
 Treasured_Smiles
Joined: 8/8/2012
Msg: 336
50 Shades of Grey
Posted: 9/14/2012 8:08:29 AM
Personally I'd prefer a real man compared to a fictional character. I wasn't a fan of the trilogy due to the fact it wasn't well researched and I don't think it was well written. If we are going for fictional characters, there are many others I'd go for first.
 Fleuron
Joined: 8/18/2010
Msg: 338
50 Shades of Grey
Posted: 9/14/2012 6:36:23 PM

If we are going for fictional characters, there are many others I'd go for first.


I know, right….I’d go for Superman. If I wanted a sexually dysfunctional guy I’d still be married.
 SlaveDriver8
Joined: 2/29/2012
Msg: 340
50 Shades of Grey
Posted: 9/15/2012 2:20:30 PM

I know, right….I’d go for Superman


You may want to read "Man of Steel, Woman of Kleenex" (Larry Niven) before you choose him.

http://www.rawbw.com/~svw/superman.html
 len129
Joined: 8/22/2006
Msg: 341
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History
50 Shades of Grey
Posted: 9/15/2012 2:44:44 PM
I think men have to take control to bring out the best in a women
 ravenhair4u
Joined: 8/13/2011
Msg: 344
50 Shades of Grey
Posted: 9/16/2012 7:18:19 AM
I liked the first few chapters, but after that I found the sex scenes boring, repeatitive & totally unrealistic. I returned the other 2 books without reading them. I hated the girl at the end of the book. And who talks like this, "crap, double crap, triple crap". I never did find out what a "tram" is. Everyone in the book rolls their eyes, & they "fetch" this or are told to go "fetch" that. Americans don't speak like that. The editors did a piss poor below average job.
She is a virgin who comes on command, very impressive. When he touches her breasts & orders her to come, she does. She was a virgin until she met Grey. Then she is having so much sex, I wondered how she was able to sit, stand, or walk. The part where he pulls out her tampon, give me a break, that was so stupid.
I read ahead to get to the sex parts becaus there is no plot.
A college student about to gradutate, who doesn't have an email address, a computer or a cell phone until he gifts her with these items? She calls her Mac a mean machine? Who does that? She has never ever touched herself "down there" as she states.
The author has been accused of plagerism if you read the Twilight books, it's the same charactors, only Edward's charactor plays the BDSM card.
The author is from England & her lack of goegraphy is appaling. She acts like going to Vancouver is like going into Wisconsin. The way she talks about the states, you can tell she's never been in America.
Ppl in the lifestyle are saying this book doesn't accurately or remotely reflect the life style at all.
Read the reviews on Amazon, ppl who are in the lifestyle have written reviews on this book. There is better erotica out there, there is a series of 3 books written by Anne Rice that's been recommended.
I'm sure there are ppl on here that are into the lifestyle or know someone who is, I would love to read what they have to say about this disappointing over rated book.
 Brissy1985
Joined: 2/16/2012
Msg: 346
50 Shades of Grey
Posted: 9/16/2012 8:04:59 AM

If a woman wants to read an intense sexual book series, try Chelsea Cain's Gretchen Lowell books. They're about a detective who falls in love with the femme fetale serial killer he's investigating. He knows she's bad news yet can't help but fall under her spell and she completely ruins his life.


Isn't that what that movie Basic Instinct was about
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