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Show ALL Forums  > Over 45  > A lesson from "Hot In Cleveland"      Home login  
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 femaleconnection
Joined: 8/12/2010
Msg: 26
A lesson from Hot In ClevelandPage 2 of 4    (1, 2, 3, 4)
I have watched the show, because I have enjoyed all of the actresses in it, in thier previous roles. I think it is a decent show and Betty White cracks me up!

But, I do not think these women are a good measuring stick for the average woman aging, to compare themselves to. These woman are wearing professionally applied cosmetics. (Ive seen them in pics without, they are very plain without all of it) They have thier hair all glossy and styled by pros. They have had surgery and hired private trainers. So, I do not think an every day woman should use these ladies as a measuring stick. That would be like telling a 25 year old to aspire to look like Megan Fox. We cannot all look like that.
 BLoNde__ANgeL
Joined: 9/20/2011
Msg: 27
A lesson from Hot In Cleveland
Posted: 5/17/2012 12:35:41 PM
That's right 45+ ladies, don't get too gorgeous, or u will be out of everyone's league...how many hot 45+ are left ;0)
 fillyphilly
Joined: 5/12/2012
Msg: 28
A lesson from Hot In Cleveland
Posted: 5/17/2012 1:34:19 PM
^^Me, I'm sizzling hot. All the time. I sleep with the windows open in the winter. Unfortunately it's due to hot flashes not my looks. Be careful what you ask for.
 1388SmartBlonde
Joined: 5/15/2011
Msg: 29
A lesson from Hot In Cleveland
Posted: 5/17/2012 1:59:05 PM
tbicon: And Ralph and Alice were a PERFECT match. Ralph had personality and a Job. What did Alice bring to the picture other than the ability to clean and cook?


Don't underestimate the value of having someone at home to do the cooking and cleaning...the average housekeeper earns $21,900 while the average salary for a bus driver is only $19,214. And he may have had the good lines, but she was the smart one...

OP, I agree...those women on Hot in Cleveland look great. But they are actresses and they say and do whatever the script tells them to. They also have makeup artists, hairstylists and plastic surgeons. If you want to find out what truly makes an older woman hot, you have to look beyond the outside to see her intelligence, wisdom, kindness and inner beauty.

^^Me, I'm sizzling hot. All the time. I sleep with the windows open in the winter. Unfortunately it's due to hot flashes not my looks. Be careful what you ask for.

Looks up at previous post and LOL!!! Love the hot flashes comment! **hands you my fan**
 Luvtoride10
Joined: 4/13/2012
Msg: 30
A lesson from Hot In Cleveland
Posted: 5/17/2012 3:16:55 PM
45?? I'm 61 and still think I'm pretty goddamn sexy.
 Abby156
Joined: 4/1/2010
Msg: 31
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History
A lesson from Hot In Cleveland
Posted: 5/17/2012 6:24:53 PM
Hey, Im hot in Dallas, well during the summer months anyway. I hope this summer is not as hot as last years.
 DrummingNut
Joined: 4/26/2010
Msg: 32
A lesson from Hot In Cleveland
Posted: 5/17/2012 8:13:02 PM
Rich actresses can look good. Wow, who'da thunk.
 smokincigars
Joined: 3/25/2010
Msg: 33
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A lesson from Hot In Cleveland
Posted: 5/18/2012 2:50:37 AM
bswstudent wrote:

Thank you "Smokingcigars" I completely appreciate what you are saying. When we're all thrown in a pool with our dating counterparts/older and younger, those of us who are over 45 are competing with the 20 and 30-somethings out there. I saw a profile today of a 53 year old man who was looking for a woman aged 21-50. I think it shows his lack of experience in dating in the real world. There are SO many beautiful women out there who are in their 50's and above, and folks like that other gentleman are completely missing out on the beauty, intelligence, and banter he would appreciate and sincerely enjoy. I'm confident that men like that are going to find them selves feeling older than their years, and bored out of their minds. Thanks again.

And thank you, bswstudent, for understanding exactly what I was saying. I read the forum posts frequently, and it's obvious that many men over 45 are looking for younger women, sometimes ignoring or blocking (via their mail settings) women who may be over 45 but still look pretty hot to me. I'll never understand it. When I was younger, I didn't pay much attention to a woman's age; if I liked her, that was all that mattered to me. Now that I'm older, I would feel silly chasing after someone much younger than I am. (No offense, but you fall into my "too young" category by a few years.)

What has changed about me? Mainly, I want a woman with whom I have common life experiences as well as common interests. A woman who is within a few years of my age is likely to have lived through the same events that shaped my life. She remembers the Cuban missile crisis and the JFK assassination, Beatlemania, the Mickey Mouse Club, telephones with actual dials, tail fins on cars, soda fountains, drive-in movies and so much more. She is someone I can talk to without feeling like some sort of historic relic. At the same time, many (most?) women over 45 look a lot younger and "hotter" than women of their parents' generation did at the same age -- and I don't think that's just because I'm older too, I honestly think "older women" today remain youthful longer than ever before.

The actresses on Hot In Cleveland may have, and need, all the benefits of cosmetic surgery, expert makeup artists and whatever else they do to maximize their beauty, but we expect show-biz people to look good; often, their looks are the reason they're in front of the cameras in the first place. The thing that amazes me is how many "real life" women in their 50s, 60s and beyond look just as good, sometimes so good I gave up trying to estimate a woman's age long ago.

Is the same thing true for men -- do they "stay young" longer too? Don't know, don't care, I'm not interested in other men. All I know is that while I may have a bit less hair and a few more aches, deep inside I don't FEEL old at 62.
 smokincigars
Joined: 3/25/2010
Msg: 34
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A lesson from Hot In Cleveland
Posted: 5/18/2012 3:22:53 AM
Giggles10000 wrote:

I think you are correct that when a man treats a woman like she is, as you say HOT, then she begins to view herself in that fashion and the results is that positive attitude of herself actually makes her feel better about herself.

YES!

Unfortunately as you have by now read there is a large majority of women who have no desire to be viewed as HOT.

Is it that they don't want to be seen as hot, or that they simply don't realize how important attitude is to "hotness"? Perhaps they see those first few gray hairs and wrinkles, they can't get rid of those last few pounds of "baby weight", they count their birthdays and think their days of being desirable are over, so they stop trying to be "hot". And they don't have to.

Beauty comes in all sizes, shapes, forms and can include intelligence as a backbone. What one person might be attracted to another might not--the real secret is knowing what you like, what you find HOT and directing your time and attention in that.

This is a good description of the lesson I took away from Hot In Cleveland, the one I wanted to share in the forum. A woman doesn't have to look like an 18-year-old beauty queen, a twentysomething centerfold, or a local TV anchor to still be attractive to a lot of men. In fact, those men who limit their interests to much younger, ultra-beautiful women (I think of them as "professional beauties" because it seems to be all that matters to them) are shallow -- and they're missing out on a lot of other women who are just as attractive, but in a different way.

I've been to Los Angeles, and I know that many men there have bought into the youth-and-beauty female stereotype; a lot of men in other parts of the country have too. And I'll admit that, all else being equal, the prettier of two women is the one to whom I'll be most attracted. But most of the time, all else ISN'T equal, and what's inside a woman's head -- intelligence, life experiences, personality, attitude -- often makes her more attractive to me than her more-classically-beautiful-but-boring sister. (A warm, genuine smile does wonders for a woman's appearance too.)

If you weren't so much younger, and 'way over at the other end of our state ....
 Giggles10000
Joined: 6/17/2011
Msg: 35
A lesson from Hot In Cleveland
Posted: 5/19/2012 1:35:39 PM
^^ I think it is cause they have issues of being considered HOT (maybe thinking it makes them an object) vs a person and not understanding that with the right man --YOU ARE BOTH equally-- the right man would desire your mind as much as your body. It is about finding someone you can connect with physically, mentally, emotionally and spiritually.
 platypus_man
Joined: 8/29/2007
Msg: 36
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A lesson from Hot In Cleveland
Posted: 5/20/2012 5:40:36 AM

I have to laugh-average guys always think they are going to get the young-hot chicks. Won't find anyone with a brain and ounce of self esteem.

and

There are SO many beautiful women out there who are in their 50's and above, and folks like that other gentleman are completely missing out on the beauty, intelligence, and banter he would appreciate and sincerely enjoy

So many women miss the point completely. Sure, there are a few men out here that are looking for a woman who can be their 'best friend' with which to enjoy that 'intelligence and banter', but of course beauty is in the eye of the beholder, not the person trying to sell us on it. But most guys are looking for someone they can, at least at some point, have sex with. The does not require anything other than being visually appealing and willing. Doesn't require brains, self esteem, a boat, a house, a great job, none of that. We simply want someone who turns us on, and someone who looks like grandma isn't going to do it (well not often anyway, sure there are some guys who are turned on by old women, but not a lot of them). After all, if we're not turned on by you, we may as well hang out with the guys. Oh, and what turns guys on doesn't change as we get older. And yes, there are SOME much younger women who are interested in us. Not a lot, but some. Call it a 'daddy' complex or whatever you want, but as long as they exist, the possibility is there.
 nativerock
Joined: 10/16/2010
Msg: 37
A lesson from Hot In Cleveland
Posted: 5/20/2012 6:47:49 AM

They always have, they always will. It does not matter what you think, how much you disapprove of men drooling over “hot women” like Valerie. Your disapproval will have about as much effect as trying to hold back the tide with a teaspoon.


Well she is not everyone's cup of tea from the ones men tend to list among their favorites..I personally think she is attractive but certainly there are others that take her up a notch..

In all honestly I think BOTH men and women find it hard to find someone they are attracted to the older we get.. I will own up and say most of then men I meet would certainly not entertain the idea of a romantic relationship with.. I imagine men feel likewise.
 Giggles10000
Joined: 6/17/2011
Msg: 38
A lesson from Hot In Cleveland
Posted: 5/20/2012 11:36:06 AM
^^^He hasnt figured out it is his attitude that women dislike--not his looks or his lack of money--at first glance I thought he was attractive but then after reading his post , which are the same in every thread, I no longer see him as attractive at all cause his lack of personality and total insults to women.

However, as in that pet thread, it was posted how many men offered or wrote to the OP after she said it wasn't about her--I am sure he gets tons of emails from women saying they think he is attractive and this is another ploy by some person to satisfy their need for attention.

Which if anything pof could be do to fix this might be to only allow the pity posters one pity post a week and the rest of the time make them actually think and offer something beneficial to others since they feel so entitled to constantly be taking up our bandwidth with their pity needs.

Bottom line if a woman/man do not accept and like their looks it is up to them to change it or learn to accept it and not look to someone else to make them feel good about themselves.
 *mae* flowers
Joined: 1/15/2006
Msg: 39
A lesson from Hot In Cleveland
Posted: 5/20/2012 3:32:07 PM

the aging process and dating stinks, at 45 its impossible being a single guy , it seems women 38-45ish all want younger guys, and if not younger they have to look like male models or like george clooney and have muscles and money, if they say different they are lying. its all about looks and money on here. and 40 plus is if not any different its worse. ugly guys like me with not a lot of money have NO chance on here its sad. just my 2 cents on the aging process and dating



^^^He hasnt figured out it is his attitude that women dislike--not his looks or his lack of money--at first glance I thought he was attractive but then after reading his post , which are the same in every thread, I no longer see him as attractive at all cause his lack of personality and total insults to women


I thought the same thing as you...quite attractive ...until I started reading his posts.

I've watched Hot in Cleveland...very cute little show. A little unrealistic, but I guess that's what makes it fun. And speaking of reality...can't stand those Wives of Atlanta and Orange County spinoffs...like watching someone run their fingernails down a blackboard. Aaaargh !!!!!!

...mae
 Giggles10000
Joined: 6/17/2011
Msg: 40
A lesson from Hot In Cleveland
Posted: 5/20/2012 3:42:15 PM

i really do have a good personality giggles and im not insulting women its not meant to insult, i just want to state my opinion thats all, there is a thread a million pages long and the title is " all men are jerks" isnt that insulting to all men? all men arent jerks . its no lie that women to my face and on here in messages have called me ugly, would you like it if that has happened to you? yes it has dealt a blow to my confidence. no responses do also, i just try to state an oipininon and you and the poster above you try to embarrase me to all women on here its sad. giggles you will never know because your very pretty im sure you have no problems meeting men on here, be it the right guy or not. im sorry if i come off bitter, not bitter just talking about my experiences on here thats all. yes i will try and be more positive but posts like yours doesnt help. i have to accept my bad looks, it is what it is :)


Then show the good personality--I have had tons of people say I was ugly, fat, damaged cause I had cancer--the difference is Im not buying into what they are selling--yes some one might have started a thread--all men are jerks--and i bet as many women are on there defending men as agreeing--but the ones you chose to acknowledge are the negative ones --why is that?

No responses are meaningless--both my daughters have profiles are here and havent been on here in 2 to 3 years--they dont remember the password to delete the acct so you have no clue if the person you messaged is even real unless you put them on your favorites and unless you have an iphone it no longer shows when they were last on.

I didnt try to embarrass you--if you were embarrassed that is on you--what you typed--I try not to type something that
will embarrass me.

I could match you experience after experience --but I focus on the positive ones--I refuse to let a negative person have any say or control in my life and I prefer to feed the positive experiences so they grow vs the negative ones.

but again you just had 3 women--say the looks arent the problem it is the attitude--now is this enough attention?

I do think it is unfortunate that in the efforts to boast the egos of older women we often forget how much a man goes thru --when will there be a tv show about hot men at this age?
 FunnyGirly1
Joined: 5/17/2012
Msg: 41
A lesson from Hot In Cleveland
Posted: 5/20/2012 5:01:41 PM
I am still ok at my age.
 DeerTaint
Joined: 4/3/2012
Msg: 42
A lesson from Hot In Cleveland
Posted: 5/20/2012 5:50:15 PM

Homer Simpson & Marge Simpson – The Simpsons
Jim & Cheryl – According to Jim
Doug Heffernan & Carrie Heffernan – The King of Queens
Ralph Kramden & Alice Kramden – The Honeymooners

Oh I think Doug was adorable. When he did the pole dancing, I was in love. LOL

Ralph doing the Hucklebuck was also hilarious.

But I do agree that tv sets an unrealistic example of what "average" couple look like. I think Roseanne was a good example of middle America.
 ohenryx
Joined: 3/12/2010
Msg: 43
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A lesson from Hot In Cleveland
Posted: 5/20/2012 9:04:22 PM

DeerTaint
But I do agree that tv sets an unrealistic example of what "average" couple look like. I think Roseanne was a good example of middle America.

But wasn’t that unrealistic, from the opposite point of view? I know many women who thought John Goodman was attractive (at least at that time), but I have never yet meet a man who would admit to lusting after Roseanne.
 mjinict
Joined: 8/13/2008
Msg: 44
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A lesson from Hot In Cleveland
Posted: 5/20/2012 9:19:26 PM
I can see how constantly getting turned down, insulted, and ignored can affect ones attitude. It wouldn't be very realistic to be a Pollyanna in such a situation. But you do need a more positive attitude to attract someone. Gotta have thick skin for online dating.
 Branes
Joined: 7/27/2006
Msg: 45
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A lesson from Hot In Cleveland
Posted: 5/20/2012 10:49:21 PM
The fact is, you men and women in your 40's can still be considered hot, but it's a very rare man or woman in their 60's that can still be called hot. Most of us men have given in to the bulging tummies, balding and greying hair. And most of us don't look very good with our clothes off. Even keeping fit doesn't defeat gravity for women or male pattern baldness for men.
Frankly, after 55, it's just too hard to keep it off. And I've decided that life is too short to eat tasteless low-fat food. And who cares. By the time you get into your 60's, you should have grown out of the "looks being the #1 motivation" syndrome. Not that sexual attraction doesn't happen, but it certainly shouldn't be a major consideration in finding a partner as a senior.

After 6 years of being a widower, what I miss is someone to watch tv and movies with. Have dinner with. Go shopping with. Someone to cook for. Someone to curl up to in bed that doesn't have fur and 4 feet. (I have two standard poodles who have claimed my king size bed as their own.. I get about a foot of it.)
At this point, I'd just like some intelligent company. Sex once in a while would just be icing on the cake.
 DeerTaint
Joined: 4/3/2012
Msg: 46
A lesson from Hot In Cleveland
Posted: 5/22/2012 10:17:20 AM

But wasn’t that unrealistic, from the opposite point of view? I know many women who thought John Goodman was attractive (at least at that time), but I have never yet meet a man who would admit to lusting after Roseanne.

From what I know about Roseanne, she's never had a problem getting a man. She's been married 4 times I think. Actually, I remember watching her show and my ex said he found her sexy. I looked at him like WTF? he said it was because she was comfortable in her own skin and knew how to laugh at herself. He also said she had nice feet LOL
 ohenryx
Joined: 3/12/2010
Msg: 47
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A lesson from Hot In Cleveland
Posted: 5/22/2012 1:08:21 PM

DeerTaint
From what I know about Roseanne, she's never had a problem getting a man. She's been married 4 times I think. Actually, I remember watching her show and my ex said he found her sexy. I looked at him like WTF? he said it was because she was comfortable in her own skin and knew how to laugh at herself. He also said she had nice feet LOL


My objections to Roseanne were not based on her size, but rather her personality and, most especially, her voice. Her voice used to grate on me like a fingernail on a blackboard. I have known many larger women that I found to be very attractive, but Roseanne definitely wasn't one of them.
 tbicon
Joined: 5/6/2012
Msg: 48
A lesson from Hot In Cleveland
Posted: 5/22/2012 3:24:59 PM
I agree with you about Rosanne. The all time woman I could not stand, as you say, like a thousand fingernails on a blackboard was Bea Arthur, who came to prime time on Archie Bunker and then graduated to the Golden Girls. There was something about her I found incredibly repulsive.
 FlaxenBlonde
Joined: 12/16/2010
Msg: 49
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A lesson from Hot In Cleveland
Posted: 5/22/2012 5:33:22 PM
Hello Branes,

I disagree with you on several points. Please know that while responding candidly, I do not intend to be rude to you .

I think many senior men and women can be considered as you say, "hot." It isn't just one's looks but their confidence, personality, intellect, how they carry themselves, etc .

You said, "Even keeping fit doesn't defeat gravity for women or male pattern baldness for men. "
Hate to be the bearer of bad news but keeping fit doesn't defeat gravity for men either. They are not immune to sagging here, there and yep, there... plus having other obvious signs of aging. Long story short, we all age... some age more gracefully and some of us don't.

And the last comment I'll address, " sexual attraction... it certainly shouldn't be a major consideration in finding a partner as a senior."
Being in one's 60's does not mean that physical attraction or chemistry, isn't important. I assure you.... it is. It is major to some of us. I'm long past anyone telling me what I should or shouldn't consider in finding the man I want in my life.

Good luck to all of us in finding who or what we seek.
 sedonaroses
Joined: 3/16/2012
Msg: 50
A lesson from Hot In Cleveland
Posted: 5/22/2012 7:10:12 PM
I have to say I feel more sexy now in my 50's than I did in my unhappily married state of mind. I feel free and pretty sexy lately and at least I know my moods, interests and emotions. I can read people incredibly well. I have to say that I did take a trip to the South recently, and I saw a ton of overweight people. We don't have that here in New York where I live as much at least. Not that heavy people can't be sexy, I'm sure they are and can be, but I feel good so far in this new part of my life. Age is a number and only in the mind. Stay active and I like to do youthful types of activiites and I feel fine. Thanks for posting all of your comments. Interesting to read.
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