You met socially and became friends and enjoyed each others company.
He wanted more but you were reluctant.
You said you weren't ready for a relationship but you decided to make it a FWB arrangement.
He was supportive of you - helping around the house, friendly with your kids but respected your wishes not to rush you into applying a label to your relationship.
Then because he wasn't suffocating you and because he didn't apply pressure to you, you felt insecure ?
You didn't discuss your confusion with him at first until he was going away and then he explained he had some significant things going on in his life so you started to pull back.
You defined the boundaries of your relationship ! You got what you asked for.
Then when you wanted to change them, he wasn't in a position to offer what you had previously rejected.
I guess sometimes you have to be careful what you wish for.
All you can do now, is explain that you would like a real relationship and see if he;s willing to consider that. If he isn't, you are going to either have to lay in the bed you made or decide to walk away.
great comment. You are playing head games op. You want to be suffocated by attention because you seem insecure. then when you dont get it you freak out.
this is on you. Sex isn't a toy and you used it as one. Now you are on the other end.