Notice: Forums will be shutdown by June 2019

To focus on better serving our members, we've decided to shut down the POF forums.

While regular posting is now disabled, you can continue to view all threads until the end of June 2019. Event Hosts can still create and promote events while we work on a new and improved event creation service for you.

Thank you!

Plentyoffish dating forums are a place to meet singles and get dating advice or share dating experiences etc. Hopefully you will all have fun meeting singles and try out this online dating thing... Remember that we are the largest free online dating service, so you will never have to pay a dime to meet your soulmate.
Show ALL Forums  > Relationships  > Religion and modern relationships, is there a basic conflict?      Home login  
Joined: 6/26/2012
Msg: 126
Religion and modern relationships, is there a basic conflict?Page 6 of 9    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9)
just like the christians ive known in the real world, the ones online pick and choose the parts of the bible they choose to follow, and ignore the rest.

according to the bible, unruly children must be killed. ive known some christian ladies with some bratty kids, but the kids are still alive.

followers of other religions must be killed. um...yeah, one of my favorites.

gays must be killed. chic fila is actually being kind by comparison

a woman not a virgin on her wedding night must be killed. how many christians would survive this one?

there is actually much more to be brought up but i wont bother. and yes, i can back up all this with direct quotes if im called upon to do so. its a joke. i cannot date anyone who considers the bible a holy book, or worships the god its supposed to be about.
Joined: 8/3/2008
Msg: 127
view profile
Religion and modern relationships, is there a basic conflict?
Posted: 8/7/2012 7:36:36 AM
Christians believe that Jesus sacrifice knocks out the Old Testament rules, so, no, none of that counts unless you're Jewish. You have to dig into the Paulisms for Christians.

It's fine to point out specific hypocrisy when a specific Christian uses OT rules for backing, but you can't use that as a blanket demonization of Christianity because almost all just use the OT as 'context.'
Joined: 7/13/2012
Msg: 128
Religion and modern relationships, is there a basic conflict?
Posted: 8/7/2012 7:48:24 AM
So Abmccary
As a woman I never get to be an independent adult who thinks for her self.

1 Corinthians 11:3: "...Christ is the head of every man, and a husband the head of his wife, and the head of Christ is God.

1 Corinthians 11:7-9:"For a the image and glory of God; but woman is the glory of man. For man did not come from woman, but woman from man; neither was man created for woman but woman for man. For this reason, and because of the angels, the woman ought to have a sign of authority on her head."

1 Corinthians 14:34-35: "...women should remain silent in the churches. They are not allowed to speak, but must be in submission, as the Law says, If they want to inquire about something, they should ask their own husbands at home; for it is disgraceful for a woman to speak in the church."

Ephesians 5:22-24: "Wives, submit to your husbands as to the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife...wives should submit to their husbands in everything."
1 Timothy 2:11-15:"A woman should learn in quietness and full submission. I do not permit a woman to teach or to have authority over a man; she must be silent..."
Joined: 8/3/2008
Msg: 129
view profile
Religion and modern relationships, is there a basic conflict?
Posted: 8/7/2012 7:57:43 AM
Nope, you don't. Some Christian religions have tried to sweep that stuff under the rug, but trying to semantic those scriptures away doesn't really work - it's obvious with context as to the meaning.

Honestly, if Paul never came around, Christianity would be pretty awesome. Jesus came along, said "screw rules, just love each other, love God, don't blaspheme, understand that I came to earth to sacrifice myself for humanity, and everyone will end up happy." Then, years later, some guy with a bunch of sexual/gender hangups comes along and says "uh, Jesus came to me while I was walking the other day," Christians let him hang around because he had Roman citizenship, and then he wrote a bunch of books with a whole bunch of rules, the very thing Jesus got rid of.
Joined: 9/9/2011
Msg: 130
view profile
Religion and modern relationships, is there a basic conflict?
Posted: 8/11/2012 6:10:07 PM
@Capn_America, in your first comment (message # 11), you posted one of the best synopses of Christianity I’ve seen, that’s great! “In a nutshell”.
Joined: 5/8/2010
Msg: 131
Religion and modern relationships, is there a basic conflict?
Posted: 8/11/2012 6:54:38 PM


"Love each other, and the one that comes after you like yourself"

I'm not very good at translating either... I just wondered if you were thinking about the French sentence "Aimez-vous les uns sur les autres"
Joined: 5/2/2011
Msg: 132
Religion and modern relationships, is there a basic conflict?
Posted: 8/11/2012 7:49:14 PM
Who will say with confidence that sexual abuse is more permanently damaging to children than threatening them with the eternal and unquenchable fires of hell?”
Richard Dawkins

Religions always plan to indoctrinate children. Teaching religion to an adult is hard work because religions are absurd and often transparently so. In contrast teaching religion to children is easy. Children are susceptible and suggestible. It doesn't sound like far-fetched nonsense to a child, children are credulous.
The religious don’t regard telling children about hellfire and damnation is indoctrinating them before they have attained the age of reason, which it clearly is, they see it as a good thing. Making children fear hellfire is meant to save their souls and set them on the only path to righteousness. Nobody would deliberately teach their children a tissue of lies knowing them to be lies. The reason to instil fear into a child when they are too young to see that the story is farcical is never that the person doing the teaching believes that the story is farcical, the motives are always pure but no matter, the effect is the same.
Try telling an adult that God, who loves them, got angry with people doing bad things so he flooded the entire Earth and drowned almost all animals and people. Straight away they are going to spot that this is rather a petulant thing to have done. It would be mass murder on the biggest possible scale and it would result in the deaths of millions of innocent animals and children. This could not be seen as a nice story, not evidence that God was the kind of person you would want to be a member of your golf club let alone the being you wished to spend all eternity adoring. And yet children sit still and lap it all up. They don’t make the rather obvious connections between mass killing and being a bad-tempered and indiscriminate shit that any adult would when told the story for the first time. But then we tell children all sorts of preposterous things and they lap them up. There are two very good reasons for this: firstly children don’t have enough experience of life to see how crazy some of the things we tell them are and secondly a capacity to accept what figures in authority tell us is part of our make-up.
Credulity is essential in children. If we all began as blank slates from I think therefore I am we would almost certainly be dead before we had learned a tiny fraction of what we need to know. Questioning everything we are told is not a good strategy for little children. Children have to be wide-eyed and credulous so they can absorb all the lessons we need to pack into them.

And THIS is why I don't let the children go visit their Grandaddy alone or for very long....
because he is one of those Religious Freaks.

He actually believes the world is going to end before the end of his natural lifespan. Why? Because Jesus told him.
He told my 10 year old that the world is going to end, and it will be h3ll on earth. But that my son will go to heaven with him (Daddy), because he's under the "age of enlightenment". He says I am going to h3ll.

My son had a stomachache and crying dreams. This is NOT the first time I have dealt with my Father.
Sometimes I can't stand him. I love him, but I don't agree with him. And he just pushes and pushes in the name of saving our souls.

My question for him is, Do I have to go to h3ll if I don't believe in it?".
And I'm thinking that IF there IS a h3ll, and I DO have to go; then I'm taking Daddy there with me if he doesn't stop messing with my kids! lol
Joined: 5/2/2011
Msg: 133
Religion and modern relationships, is there a basic conflict?
Posted: 8/11/2012 7:55:25 PM

Igorfrankensteen on 5/18/2012 734 AM
Subject: Religion and modern relationships, is there a basic conflict?
Message: A couple of things...

To answer whether or not the U.S. is generally prudish would require an expensive and complicated study, which would no doubt be immediately pooh-poohed as wrong by at least half of everyone who looked at it.

Another way that I look at the various phenomena of human behavior that you describe, I noticed something a long while back, which is frustrating and annoying, but I think it is also accurate and enlightening. That is, that a very large number of people, if not most of them, never actually design and adopt any cohesive philosophy or set of principles for themselves at all. Even people who join or are born into religions, fail to actually integrate them thoroughly into their lives.

Instead, what these people do, is to shove all the teachings, wise sayings, and principles they think that they have accepted over the course of their lives, into a cluttered, disorganized closet in their heads. Then, when they are called upon to explain their conduct in a given situation, they say "Ooh! I have a Rule that means that I'm good and you are wrong!" They run into their mental closet, and drag out whatever dusty concept,rule, Biblical phrase, Powerful Person Quote, or other bedraggled item they think works for them in this case, and then solemnly present it to the rest of us as though we should have recognized it all along.

Hence, we find "lovers of Freedom and Justice," who seek to persecute others, take unfair advantage of them, or attack them, drag out a quote by some flawed book or historic person, and completely ignore that when it benefited themselves, they quoted a rule/etc which said that no one should EVER do what they want to do now.

Nominal conservatives do it, nominal liberals do it, nominal moderates do it, extremist religious fanatics do it, and even label-avoiding rebels-against-everything do it.

As for a basic conflict between modern relationships and religion in particular, since established religions were all created in response to a particular set of challenges at a particular time, they are all susceptible to being found anachronistic after the world inevitably changes. The reason why so many of them have their ideas couched in either vague prose, or through the use of mundane similes, is precisely so that they can continue to reinterpret them to apply to circumstances they were no originally designed to address.

Past that, you would have to become a religious scholar in order to go into the depth needed to specifically answer why this or that religion evolved into one that attempts to discourage free human sexuality. All I'll say about it for now, is, that in each religion, there has been a powerful person early on, who was uptight, angry, and or had a very bad time with sex in their own life, and applied their religious zeal to cause their problems to be embossed into the fabric of the religion itself. Because most religions maintain themselves in large part, by demanding that followers not question the authority of the leadership, even when the new leaders recognize that "old uncle jebus" or whoever was nuts, they wont dare try to alter the religion to be more realistic, for fear of losing the rest of the religion itself, to freedom of thought.

And the ones that aren't religiously freaky....usually think this way.
Well said Igor.
Joined: 6/26/2012
Msg: 134
Religion and modern relationships, is there a basic conflict?
Posted: 8/11/2012 8:05:59 PM
abmmccray: here is a direct quote from the bible that debunks the whole old testament rules dont apply theory.

“For truly, I say to you, till heaven and earth pass away, not an iota, not a dot, will pass the law until all is accomplished. Whoever then relaxes one of the least of these commandments and teaches men so, shall be called least in the kingdom of heaven; but he who does them and teaches them shall be called great in the kingdom of heaven”-Matthew 5:18-19

this is supposedly straight from the mouth of jesus. not to mention if the old testament laws are considered bull, perhaps they should take them out of their holy bible. i just cant imagine again dating anyone who believes in the bible. it teaches too much hate.
Joined: 1/11/2012
Msg: 135
Religion and modern relationships, is there a basic conflict?
Posted: 8/11/2012 11:54:25 PM
IGNORANCE 4:17--Blindly leading your children into the belief system of an angry sexist, is in fact childhood abuse, not necessarily child abuse, but abuse to their childhood, the elegance of Darwinian Natural Selection is all the more magical, and fills the void needed for hope, faith, love and with our advanced conciousness we create a better more efficient morality... religious faith is arrogant ignorance at its height :)
Joined: 9/9/2011
Msg: 136
view profile
Religion and modern relationships, is there a basic conflict?
Posted: 8/12/2012 4:18:25 AM

“Do these (Catholic) priests refrain from cutting the corners of their beard? Or from lying on a bed or sitting on a chair where a menstruating woman has been? Or from wearing clothes of mixed fabric?”

@MutedEnthusiasm, regarding your above comment, you’re referring to the Old Testament, not the New Testament. The Mosaic laws like that in the Old Testament were specific to Jews practicing Judaism, not “Catholics” or “Christians” (who weren’t even “invented” yet).
Joined: 6/21/2010
Msg: 137
Religion and modern relationships, is there a basic conflict?
Posted: 8/12/2012 4:32:25 AM
Find a church that teaches the bible, reads it and understands it. They are called BIBLE churches as they do not teach religion, they teach what the bible says.
Go for relationship with God, not religion.
Religion is cult like mess for people with no way of thinking for themselves
True that Holycowwow
I was raise catholic, christian and seventh day Adventist myself when I was a child, it was very frustrating trying to understand everything given to me all at once. It was when I got out of high school I read a lot more biblical scripture and had friends help me out was when I decided to follow Jesus and to read the bible and apply it as much as I can in. Yes, it will not be easy but it is worth it.
Joined: 7/13/2012
Msg: 138
Religion and modern relationships, is there a basic conflict?
Posted: 8/12/2012 5:58:55 AM
^^^ Why does it matter if it is a bible believing church if the bible is full of lies???
Joined: 2/14/2010
Msg: 139
Religion and modern relationships, is there a basic conflict?
Posted: 8/12/2012 1:05:43 PM
I’ve seen cases where a person with a Christian up-bringing is/was dating a person who was raised with a non-Christian religious up-bringing-example: Muslim, Buddhist. It would seem that they knew a serious relationship would never work, because Christians feel if you don’t believe in the Christian view of God and Jesus, you are condemned to end up in hell, and the non-Christian has the same type of view-if you don’t believe in their God (Allah, or whomever) and pray half a dozen times a day, you are condemned to go to their version of hell, whatever it’s called.

This idea is what turns me off the most with any religion. If God or Allah, or the tooth fairy or whomever, is so wonderful as every religious person claims their God is, why is he punishing people for eternity who are otherwise doing nothing wrong? That means cruel people: mass murderers, torturers, rapists, etc. get a ticket to heaven as long as they believe, and people who lead law abiding lives and help others in times of need end up in hell if they don’t believe. This is religious extortion, and yet every religious person is fine with that. Another example: religious people think abortion doctors and nurses will end up in hell because they view abortion as baby killing. What if the abortion doctor or nurse are God believing Christians or are in the Middle East and believe in Allah or whomever? This would qualify them to get a free pass to heaven or whatever it is that believers go to. How do the anti-abortion people explain that?
Joined: 4/23/2009
Msg: 140
view profile
Religion and modern relationships, is there a basic conflict?
Posted: 8/12/2012 1:26:44 PM
Religion is the biggest con ever created !!!!!

Religion has caused more pain and suffering than anything else. Wars faught over it, people burned at the stake for being witches, the list goes on.

Doe seem to be profitable though.

I tend to view religous people as very weak minded people. You would have to have a weak mind to believe any of te crap in that book of fiction.

If some find this offensive, oh well, I find it offensive that people think they have the right to control the actions of normal people in the name of _____(Insert crazy bullsh1t religion her).

As for morality, I answer to myself, I guaranty I hold myslef to a higher standard than most.
Joined: 9/9/2011
Msg: 141
view profile
Religion and modern relationships, is there a basic conflict?
Posted: 8/12/2012 1:33:31 PM
@ScottishHottie, I mean ScottishHouston... that reminds me of Mark Twain's quip "the Bible can be summed up as follows: never let the truth stand in the way of a good story", lol.
Joined: 8/9/2012
Msg: 142
Religion and modern relationships, is there a basic conflict?
Posted: 8/13/2012 12:30:06 PM
Bahahahahahha ..... succinctly put :)
Joined: 3/27/2012
Msg: 143
view profile
Religion and modern relationships, is there a basic conflict?
Posted: 8/14/2012 2:21:22 AM

While most people I know identify as some religion, usually Christian, they never follow the actual beliefs of that religion

People don't generally know what it even means to be christian or religious in any way. It's more like some kind of status quo or some way to make oneself feel complete to identify with some religious view without caring what it really is.

People can be quite secular yet believe they are religious when they're not, except that they are in the sense that they're full of crap and confused and irresponsible when it comes to such things.

Just look at the mish-mash of bullsh** of the posts herein, and the dishonesty demonstrated, for example, by those saying that they're not religious but only spiritual, when in fact how they describe themselves is what being religious is about.

There is no religion that is good in any way whatsoever, and there's no way to actually be religious because it's a bunch of crap, except, again, by being irresponsible, irrational, and dishonest in certains ways which are specific to religion.
Joined: 3/1/2012
Msg: 144
Religion and modern relationships, is there a basic conflict?
Posted: 8/23/2012 7:03:27 AM
This is why I like being Jewish. There's never any guilt about sex and I will never tell you that you're going to Hell, just because you don't believe as I do. When people stop the insanity of believing that the Bible is the actual word of God, maybe then they can get on with their lives in a way that will bring them happiness. I have grown weary of people who quote Bible passages because they can't think for themselves, especially about "modern" relationships. Unfortunately, most organized religions aren't here for just spiritual guidance, but rather to ensure that you live your life according to a male dominated hierarchy who will use doctrine and the Bible to try to rule every aspect of your life. If your mind is made out of clay, then by all means turn your life over to a man who tells you that he represents God on Earth. If you'd rather live a fuller and richer life because of the choices that you make for yourself, especially about who you love and who you allow to get close to you and your family, then don't ever let someone else tell you what you should do with your own feelings because they don't fit into their idea of what the right thing is.
Joined: 3/27/2012
Msg: 145
view profile
Religion and modern relationships, is there a basic conflict?
Posted: 8/23/2012 3:01:58 PM
169 / gadaveuk:

Wrong. Big time fail. On many counts...

Religion is not for spiritual guidance. It is for exploiting people's need for (alledgedly "spiritual) guidance so that in the process it can do something else entirely different.

It is indeed healthy, very healthy, to make one examine their belief system - and then undermine, as you say, if necessary - instead of us just letting each other wander around like intellectually and emotionally introverted and undeveloped gullible zombies believing whatever crap we feel like believing.

And, that there are religions, sects, or denominations that are good, versus some that are bad, cannot lead you to a proper understanding of what's going on -

"Of course, there is a crucial moral difference between those whose faith tells them to murder innocent people, and those whose faith tells them to respect life. But the difference is not something we can get from faith. The Islamic militant who believes he is doing the will of God when he flies a plane full of passengers into the World Trade Center is just as much a person of faith as the Christian who believes she is doing the will of God when she spends her days picketing a clinic that offers abortions. Faith cannot tell us who is right and who is wrong, because each will simply assert that his or her faith is the true one. In the absence of a willingness to offer reasons, evidence, or arguments for why it is better to do one thing rather than another, there is no progress to be made. If we try to dissuade people from becoming radical Islamic terrorists, not by persuading them to be more thoughtful and reflective about their religoious beliefs, but by encouraging them to switch from one unquestiouned religious faith to another, we are fighting with our hands tied behind our backs."

> Peter Singer
Joined: 3/27/2012
Msg: 146
view profile
Religion and modern relationships, is there a basic conflict?
Posted: 8/24/2012 5:55:31 PM

Profound. Uncommon wisdom. That at the bottom of all seemingly unrelated troubles in the world is religion is hard to see or admit, until you really know how to peel away the curtains and facades.
Joined: 3/14/2012
Msg: 147
Religion and modern relationships, is there a basic conflict?
Posted: 10/18/2012 5:31:56 PM

I believe these conflicts cause both men and women to behave many unproductive ways and causes much of the sexual tension we see in dating and forums.

I am sometimes amazed at the judgement on these forums. not always, but depending on the topic... yeah. the belief that people are doing the 'wrong' things, and worse yet, the notion that they must be saved from the 'wrong' things they are doing, literally drives me nuts. ever heard of mind your own business??? In my early 20's I was a hardcore christian but even then I never pulled out bible verses to prove my point or make people feel bad about themselves. which is kind of ironic when ppl do that because there are plenty of instances of sexual 'immorality' right in the bible. beliefs that stem from the christian view of sex will infiltrate almost every aspect of life in some form or another, and negatively. It's judgement, pure and simple.

even so called sexual liberals stigmatize people who are cross dresser / transgenders/sex workers.

sexual liberals, ha. just like political liberals that are anything but. as long as it fits their view of what's socially acceptable they will be liberal about it.

Do other people think the USA's is still sexually prudish, what is the cause of this and what sort of problems does it cause?

YES!!! a guy who runs naked through the park will get arrested, pepper sprayed and receive a huge fine. but people can walk with guns everywhere and kids are exposed to violence every day. think we're worrying about the wrong things?? It's a little ridiculous.
people who chastise sex probably aren't getting enough.
Joined: 3/1/2012
Msg: 148
view profile
Religion and modern relationships, is there a basic conflict?
Posted: 10/19/2012 2:42:26 AM
How is a guy running naked through the park sexual? There's always someone running away from the care home down the street,' forgetting' to put on his clothes, never seen women, or men, running towards him for sex. Maybe you should move here lol
Joined: 10/17/2012
Msg: 149
Religion and modern relationships, is there a basic conflict?
Posted: 10/20/2012 6:27:35 PM
Less than 20% of Americans claim to be Christians and the number is shrinking daily as society realises that they don't have to be bullied by religious zealots.
Religion has no legitimate part in society, let alone in a relationship between 2 people.
If someone needs the belief of imaginary deities in their life then it would be better to avoid any contact with them.
You have probably heard believers say "don't come between me and my god" then why would you think they would be a good partner if they are already committed to a relationship with a delusional god in their life.
There is no need to suffer the persecutions that religion has inflicted everywhere for far too long, slavery, hatred of gays, keeping women subservient, disregarding science or controlling your choice of partner.
If your question is serious then there is a conflict, religion is based on conflict and it will not help any relationship.
Joined: 10/19/2011
Msg: 150
Religion and modern relationships, is there a basic conflict?
Posted: 10/20/2012 8:21:43 PM

Religion has no legitimate part in society, let alone in a relationship between 2 people.

I strongly disagree. Religon organized us and got humans out of the caves so I firmly believe in its use as a tool to control the group. Also, if these people didn't have their religon we would have a wholesale collapse of society.

I say leave the people their indulgences, I like basic public services lol.

In dating, religon provides a couple with basic rules and scruples which to adhere; without it, they would have to rationalize the concepts of morality without fear of reprisals from sky wizards and that my fish is a slippery slope for the weak minded.
Show ALL Forums  > Relationships  > Religion and modern relationships, is there a basic conflict?