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Show ALL Forums  > Relationships  > Religion and modern relationships, is there a basic conflict?      Home login  
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 Worth_every_effort
Joined: 10/17/2012
Msg: 151
Religion and modern relationships, is there a basic conflict?Page 7 of 9    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9)
How could a christian deal with dating someone claiming to be a witch, in this modern society would he burn her at the stake because his god says he hates witches?
 Tmmmm47
Joined: 3/10/2012
Msg: 152
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Religion and modern relationships, is there a basic conflict?
Posted: 10/20/2012 9:08:04 PM
I disagree respectfully and heartily. I was raised Lutheran, and my dad was a pastor. I was always taught that while the sex act was supposed to be within marriage, and was created to be so, it was always to be enjoyable. My folks were married 52 years, still held hands, and my dad didn't look at other women--seemed to work for them. I converted to Catholicism and don't see any prudery at all in the religion, other than that the basic function of sex as procreation is supposed to be remembered and practiced along with the enjoyment. What I've observed is that people who get "fixed", tend to become very selfish in the pursuit of sex, to the exclusion of the happiness and active, sacrificial love (in all areas) towards their partner. It is meant to be an integrated act, not an act of mutual "use".
 Worth_every_effort
Joined: 10/17/2012
Msg: 153
Religion and modern relationships, is there a basic conflict?
Posted: 10/20/2012 9:59:39 PM
OP, you and your ex were both catholics, yet religion was the cause of your relationship to end, you have answered your own question.

While most people I know identify as some religion, usually Christian, they never follow the actual beliefs of that religion

The religion you belong to is probably best at ignoring it's own preachings and priests are the biggest offenders.
How can religion be any good for any relationship when there is so much hypocrisy from within the business itself.
 drinkthesunwithmyface
Joined: 3/27/2012
Msg: 154
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Religion and modern relationships, is there a basic conflict?
Posted: 10/22/2012 3:46:32 PM

I strongly disagree. Religon organized us and got humans out of the caves so I firmly believe in its use as a tool to control the group. Also, if these people didn't have their religon we would have a wholesale collapse of society.

I say leave the people their indulgences, I like basic public services lol.

In dating, religon provides a couple with basic rules and scruples which to adhere; without it, they would have to rationalize the concepts of morality without fear of reprisals from sky wizards and that my fish is a slippery slope for the weak minded.


Does anyone else think these are some very weird and wrong statements?!
 AddHomonym
Joined: 12/26/2011
Msg: 155
Religion and modern relationships, is there a basic conflict?
Posted: 10/22/2012 4:05:42 PM
Actually I think religion played a critical role in our story up to this point but I'm not convinced it's worth all the trouble. I'm pretty sure we will have religion in some form or another for as long as there are human beings though. It's also a very important part of many people's lives right now and regardless of what someone thinks about that, it does play an important role in society.

Having said that, oppressive zealotry is getting out of hand and the internet has given voice to the previously "silent majority". There is a tendency out there to judge first and spit in the face of anyone who questions your decision. I find it kind of spooky to tell the truth.

As for Catholics resolving matters of faith and their own hypocrisy, isn't that what the confessional is for? Even if you are a lousy Catholic, there is always the last rights if you happen to be lucky enough to have a priest on hand at the time.

What's a florin going for nowadays anyway?
 daynadaze
Joined: 2/11/2008
Msg: 156
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Religion and modern relationships, is there a basic conflict?
Posted: 10/22/2012 4:51:07 PM
Humans have always been as smart as they are now, there's no proof that humans were once dumb and have gained intelligence. What was less known was why things happened and people made up reasons that made sense to them. Religion has always been a way to keep people in line and to rule over them. Religion has always been a conflict for people, there has never been a time anywhere where people happily accepted dogma and were treated well or treated others well, there has always been a problem between what is expressed as true and what is true. There has never been a time when religion was wonderful and then people fell away. There has never been a time when religions weren't full of corruption and misuse. There is no more conflict for relationships today than there was any other time, we just have a huge mass media now to hear about all the troubles in the world. Your great great great great great Aunt Fanny was just as likely to be moody, cheat, have sex outside of marriage, not be a good cook or a good wife or a good mother than any person today. There has never been a time when there weren't abusive men or henpecked men or whatever kind of person and relationship between people that hasn't always been around since mankind began.
 deere_rancher
Joined: 4/4/2012
Msg: 157
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Religion and modern relationships, is there a basic conflict?
Posted: 12/20/2012 7:13:00 PM

Religion has no legitimate part in society, let alone in a relationship between 2 people.


What a ridiculous statement,..so now lets ban religion Loads of intolerance displayed on this thread
Religious beliefs belongs to all individuals that desire that lifestyle
 JJTall
Joined: 11/25/2012
Msg: 158
Religion and modern relationships, is there a basic conflict?
Posted: 12/21/2012 1:28:20 AM
Im not religious either, nor care to discuss it on dates. Im also not interested in dating religious folks.
 deere_rancher
Joined: 4/4/2012
Msg: 159
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Religion and modern relationships, is there a basic conflict?
Posted: 12/21/2012 2:20:08 AM

and the most intolerance in the world =Religion

Anyone reading this thread would conclude that this is not true.
A lot of mis-placed hated
 Dokkodo
Joined: 3/8/2011
Msg: 160
Religion and modern relationships, is there a basic conflict?
Posted: 12/21/2012 2:50:37 AM
Most people are just pious half-assers when it comes to their religions. I don't know how many times I see people who claim to be serious Christians getting drunk and being sluts in a bar. There's tons of unwed mothers who claim to be Christian, oops.

The only people coming close to actually following the Bible are the Westboro Baptists. Even then they're not extreme enough to be properly following the goddamned Bible.
 Smarts and Heart
Joined: 12/15/2009
Msg: 161
Religion and modern relationships, is there a basic conflict?
Posted: 12/21/2012 8:50:05 AM
The Bible as we know it and almost every other religious book is a cut and paste compilation of history and past writtings. A little knowledge can be a dangerous thing. Writings have been manipulated by the pious and the fanatical throughout time to bolster their own beliefs.

I found this article interesting and probably closer to the truth about views on sexuality and the Judo-Christian religion and all the other religions which are based or stemmed from this.

http://www.cybercollege.com/history.htm
 Lavelle1
Joined: 11/25/2012
Msg: 162
Religion and modern relationships, is there a basic conflict?
Posted: 12/21/2012 11:52:36 PM
Having sex in a marriage is a beautiful loving act between two people. The marriage bed is undefiled. And some do believe that sex before marriage is not the way to go. The "try before you buy" theory doesn't sit well with me. There are many conflicts out there. Too many to go into on here. The USA is not sexually prudish. I think that people have been more open about sex in recent years than they were before.
 Maleman999
Joined: 2/14/2010
Msg: 163
Religion and modern relationships, is there a basic conflict?
Posted: 12/22/2012 9:39:09 AM
Having sex in a marriage is a beautiful loving act between two people. The marriage bed is undefiled.


Having sex outside of marriage can be a beautiful loving act for people who don't have religious or government approval hang-ups about it. I won't date women who use sex as extortion.
 StrykinOut
Joined: 12/18/2012
Msg: 164
Religion and modern relationships, is there a basic conflict?
Posted: 1/7/2013 12:14:34 PM
In discussing a topic like this it helps to define the terms. What is meant by "religion?" Observant Jews and Christians? Eastern faiths? What exactly? And what is the definition of "modern relationships?" Promiscuity? Serial monogamy? Committed straight or gay relationships? Throw away marriages? What exactly? My faith does not conflict with my relationships and I adhere to the no sex before the walk down the aisle doctrine.
 Xray86
Joined: 2/2/2012
Msg: 165
Religion and modern relationships, is there a basic conflict?
Posted: 1/10/2013 4:49:02 PM
Wow the ignorance on this thread is astounding. To the OP, I don't know about other religions and faiths, but as a Mormon I have a different take on what you're talking and asking about.

Like other Christians, we condemn sex outside of marriage. Sex is seen as a very private matter and an act of (ideally) pure selflessness and love between the husband and wife. While birth control is okay for the couple since we're encouraged to have kids within our means, as in don't over-extend yourselves, abstinence is the way to go for us singles. It's very smart and practical; no risk of pregnancies, no STDs, no extra drama between people, and not everyone know what you look like without clothes. That's not to say people err and do whatever anyways, I'm guilty of not waiting till marriage along with a few other people I know in our Church. But the great thing about Christianity is that God forgives and forgets. I don't remember who asked, but a guy asked Jesus how many times to forgive someone and was told basically as many times as it takes. Humans are full of flaws and that's why Jesus died for our sins. It was known that people would sin but all is forgiven if someone was genuinely asking and works to better him or herself. That's also where we are told not to judge. You don't know why someone messed up and it's frankly none of your business. That's between that individual and God. Anyways back to a couple, they're allowed to commit all sorts of debauchery because they're married to each other. And anything sexual or sensual between the couple is seen as good as long as it's just them and nothing too freaky. Procreation may be the primary reason for sex, but there are all sorts of secondary benefits that the couple can exploit and enjoy as it promotes love between them.

As far as calling oneself a Christian but not acting like one, that's on that individual. I know I have vices but I turn to my faith to make myself a better person and I did pretty well in the past couple of years. I alluded to it earlier, but birth control is okay for a married couple. It may not be encouraged, but we don't forbid it. Now if you're single and using birth control, that's between you and God and I don't care to know the gory details.

We don't really have conflict because all members have access to our teachings and everyone is encouraged to question things as that promotes intellectual and spiritual growth. Only conflicts we have are on a personal level, not a leadership or church-wide level. For example, I don't agree with polygamy being practiced at one point like 150 years ago. But I can understand why it happened considering that as soon as we got started, our members were being killed leaving the women and children without support or protection. Heck the government even sent the whole Army to attack Utah pretty much over rumors and hearsay.

I think the real reason why there's a conlfict between the sexes is because of societal misconceptions and people using that for selfish gain. The media doesn't help much either by playing stereotypes. Like White men being passive, Black men being mindless aggressors, Hispanic men being sexist, conservatives being stupid and evil, liberal women being promiscuous, religious women being weak-willed, etc. And since everyone has different ideas and upbringings, it only exacerbates the problem. Very simple solution is to understand and socialize with different people. You never know who will come along and be the best thing since sliced bread. Whether in a church, out of a church, different ethnicity, different lifestyle, you just don't know. That's why you accept that people are different and treat everyone with respect. Not branding a whole group of people as bad, ignorant, or mindless because they CHOOSE to believe a certain way.
 scorprockscorps
Joined: 12/25/2012
Msg: 166
Religion and modern relationships, is there a basic conflict?
Posted: 1/12/2013 3:54:13 AM
Wow the ignorance on this thread is astounding.

And what exactly were you expecting with a thread that begins with the title "Religion" smh.
Hello and welcome to the internet. Any forum on any website will yield exactly the same result.

To the OP here's one for you. How about religion and modern adult films? Plenty of relationships there. Am i the only one who notices a growing trend in adult film stars wearing their crucifix necklaces/jewelry tattoos etc, while on film?

Sfv, CA. Is considered the adult film capital of the world and it's a multi billion dollar industry in the US.
So I don't see how that one experience can be associated with an entire country that releases over 20,000 adult videos annually and rentss over 800m of them each year.

I think religions are generally boring imo and separate rather than unify. I think the Christianity in the west you speak of has become generic and marketed like any other product for sale. I believe people make up their beliefs as they go along. That being said, the only prudishness or sexual tension I've ever experienced is when a woman simply hasn't dated someone long enough to feel comfortable about sex. Most women I meet would say thinking of sex as a "dirty sin" is a think of the 50's and not relevant in today's society.

There's no way I'd ever even consider marrying someone I haven't been sexually intimate with. Not that I disrespect their choices. I'm only assuming for the sake of humanity that a good majority of the replies are generally telling you that religion and sex should be based on a persons own personal belief systems and that this conflict you are referring to is as perceived.
 Xray86
Joined: 2/2/2012
Msg: 167
Religion and modern relationships, is there a basic conflict?
Posted: 1/12/2013 8:18:21 AM

And what exactly were you expecting with a thread that begins with the title "Religion" smh.
Hello and welcome to the internet. Any forum on any website will yield exactly the same result.


I meant it in the context that it was more than usual on this thread. But thank you for calling out my own ignorance on the matter. I've only been using the Internet since I was a kid.
 Maleman999
Joined: 2/14/2010
Msg: 168
Religion and modern relationships, is there a basic conflict?
Posted: 1/12/2013 10:19:37 AM
Msg 201:



Anyways back to a couple, they're allowed to commit all sorts of debauchery because they're married to each other. And anything sexual or sensual between the couple is seen as good as long as it's just them and nothing too freaky.


According to your sex manual, otherwise know as the Bible, what is considered too freaky? If a couple try to spice up their sex life by trying new positions instead of just doing it missionary style every time, what are the limitations to what they can do that is approved by God? Not only should the government stay out of people's bedroom, but so should religion.





Now if you're single and using birth control, that's between you and God and I don't care to know the gory details.


So now sex is gory if single and using birth control. Do you know what's even more gory? Being single and having sex and NOT using birth control. I guess the majority of people are going to Hell for not following your rules, since you're God's gofer.
 _shakti_
Joined: 7/5/2011
Msg: 169
Religion and modern relationships, is there a basic conflict?
Posted: 1/12/2013 10:55:25 AM

we condemn sex outside of marriage.
Oral/manual stimulation is all good though hey? There's no specific verse about that after all............
 ForumFiona
Joined: 1/7/2013
Msg: 170
Religion and modern relationships, is there a basic conflict?
Posted: 1/12/2013 12:08:12 PM
Xray86:
But the great thing about Christianity is that God forgives and forgets. I don't remember who asked, but a guy asked Jesus how many times to forgive someone and was told basically as many times as it takes.

O boy there are many things wrong with those statements. You are taking these scriptures out of context as God clearly states that you do not allow evil into your life and that we must leave them to protect ourselves.
Try Luke 17:3. And Genesis 13, 21: 8-13 which outlines how Abraham separated himself from family.
Also Jesus did not force his teachings on unwilling participants, I believe third time was his charm. Sorry I can't recall where its stated specifically as its been eons since I attended my church or read the bible for that matter.
 InActingLive
Joined: 10/27/2012
Msg: 171
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Religion and modern relationships, is there a basic conflict?
Posted: 1/12/2013 12:33:15 PM
I was raised Catholic with the teachings that abstinence is expected until marriage. To be honest I haven't practiced that. I would instead classify myself as serially monogamous. I'm also no longer a practicing Catholic. I've dated people who were various forms of Christian, New Age, and even Atheist. What I've learned over the years is that beliefs regarding sexuality and religion are deeply personal and that as long as both partners are open minded and respectful relationships can work. Conflict seems to occur not when the couples beliefs differ but when one or both partners don't respect each others beliefs. Remember, you don' have to agree with everything your partner believes in, you just have to value your partner so much that you respect their beliefs.
 drinkthesunwithmyface
Joined: 3/27/2012
Msg: 172
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Religion and modern relationships, is there a basic conflict?
Posted: 1/12/2013 3:26:59 PM

Religion and modern relationships, is there a basic conflict?


Anytime anywhere religion is involved, there is always a basic, and therefore serious, conflict.
 Xray86
Joined: 2/2/2012
Msg: 173
Religion and modern relationships, is there a basic conflict?
Posted: 1/12/2013 3:48:06 PM
Like I said about ignorance...


According to your sex manual, otherwise know as the Bible, what is considered too freaky? If a couple try to spice up their sex life by trying new positions instead of just doing it missionary style every time, what are the limitations to what they can do that is approved by God? Not only should the government stay out of people's bedroom, but so should religion.


Are you being serious? My definition of freaky involves candles, chains, and whips. Basically if it involves bodily harm, then it's looked down on. I have no idea why you think religious people only need to do missionary. Try reading my statement again.


So now sex is gory if single and using birth control. Do you know what's even more gory? Being single and having sex and NOT using birth control. I guess the majority of people are going to Hell for not following your rules, since you're God's gofer.


Now you're just being stupid. You had absolutely no idea what I said. Let's try this again. If you're single and using birth control, that's between you and whoever. I wouldn't care to know about the details on why you're doing that. I would have to assume you're having sex. Otherwise, birth control would be pointless. Now put that into the context of the person being in my faith. If I know that much about your personal life, something's kind of off. I wouldn't cast you out but I would voice some concern since we would be in the same faith and believe the same things.


Oral/manual stimulation is all good though hey? There's no specific verse about that after all............


I don't know about a specific verse, I'm not a Bible-thumper. When we say sex we mean any and all sexual activity. But if you're married, who cares if you do oral or manual stimulation. Couples can do whatever with each other.


O boy there are many things wrong with those statements. You are taking these scriptures out of context as God clearly states that you do not allow evil into your life and that we must leave them to protect ourselves.
Try Luke 17:3. And Genesis 13, 21: 8-13 which outlines how Abraham separated himself from family.
Also Jesus did not force his teachings on unwilling participants, I believe third time was his charm. Sorry I can't recall where its stated specifically as its been eons since I attended my church or read the bible for that matter.


I read the verses and I don't see how I'm wrong or why those verses were different from what I said or even relevent. The Genesis verses talk about how there was a disagreement between Abraham and Lot regarding what land to take. They were told one should pick a spot and the other pick a different spot. Then it later talks about how God told Abraham to not worry about what Sarah said about some bondswoman and her son as Isaac was going to be his heir. The Luke verse talks about how you should rebuke someone who assails you unless that person repents, then you should forgive. I didn't mention the repentance part because I thought that was understood regarding forgiveness. Okay, to clarify, you forgive as many times as it takes as long as that person repented of whatever bad thing he did. And even then God tells us to forgive people who don't want it as it's a healing process for the forgiver. Not sure what you're even talking about with Jesus not forcing his teachings onto others. He never did that as it contradicts the teaching of free agency, or the right to choose.
 drinkthesunwithmyface
Joined: 3/27/2012
Msg: 174
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Religion and modern relationships, is there a basic conflict?
Posted: 1/12/2013 4:05:40 PM
Wait...does the bible say anything against chickens? It's important...I really need to know...

ba-GOCK!
 _shakti_
Joined: 7/5/2011
Msg: 175
Religion and modern relationships, is there a basic conflict?
Posted: 1/12/2013 4:20:19 PM

I don't know about a specific verse, I'm not a Bible-thumper.
Nor am I, yet I know there is none.

Do you think that's why many christians cling to the weak technicality of their virginity/purity so that God will see them as good and pure prior to marriage.. ? Performing and receiving oral sex to get their guilt free rocks off because there are no specific verses. I'm sure God is looking down upon them with pure pride and joy.

When we say sex we mean any and all sexual activity.
We? You speak for all christians? Lol.. wow, that must weigh awfully heavily.

But if you're married, who cares if you do oral or manual stimulation. Couples can do whatever with each other.
I've never been married and I am no virgin. I've also *gasp* had children out of wedlock. Yes, I'm one of those women. The willfully unsaved.

Good thing I don't seek to date christian men who would use and judge me.. not ever again that is. You can keep your delusions of perfection, I prefer the real world and to date those who live squarely within it.
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