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Show ALL Forums  > Relationships  > Religion and modern relationships, is there a basic conflict?      Home login  
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 Lavelle1
Joined: 11/25/2012
Msg: 162
Religion and modern relationships, is there a basic conflict?Page 9 of 9    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9)
Having sex in a marriage is a beautiful loving act between two people. The marriage bed is undefiled. And some do believe that sex before marriage is not the way to go. The "try before you buy" theory doesn't sit well with me. There are many conflicts out there. Too many to go into on here. The USA is not sexually prudish. I think that people have been more open about sex in recent years than they were before.
 Maleman999
Joined: 2/14/2010
Msg: 163
Religion and modern relationships, is there a basic conflict?
Posted: 12/22/2012 9:39:09 AM
Having sex in a marriage is a beautiful loving act between two people. The marriage bed is undefiled.


Having sex outside of marriage can be a beautiful loving act for people who don't have religious or government approval hang-ups about it. I won't date women who use sex as extortion.
 StrykinOut
Joined: 12/18/2012
Msg: 164
Religion and modern relationships, is there a basic conflict?
Posted: 1/7/2013 12:14:34 PM
In discussing a topic like this it helps to define the terms. What is meant by "religion?" Observant Jews and Christians? Eastern faiths? What exactly? And what is the definition of "modern relationships?" Promiscuity? Serial monogamy? Committed straight or gay relationships? Throw away marriages? What exactly? My faith does not conflict with my relationships and I adhere to the no sex before the walk down the aisle doctrine.
 Xray86
Joined: 2/2/2012
Msg: 165
Religion and modern relationships, is there a basic conflict?
Posted: 1/10/2013 4:49:02 PM
Wow the ignorance on this thread is astounding. To the OP, I don't know about other religions and faiths, but as a Mormon I have a different take on what you're talking and asking about.

Like other Christians, we condemn sex outside of marriage. Sex is seen as a very private matter and an act of (ideally) pure selflessness and love between the husband and wife. While birth control is okay for the couple since we're encouraged to have kids within our means, as in don't over-extend yourselves, abstinence is the way to go for us singles. It's very smart and practical; no risk of pregnancies, no STDs, no extra drama between people, and not everyone know what you look like without clothes. That's not to say people err and do whatever anyways, I'm guilty of not waiting till marriage along with a few other people I know in our Church. But the great thing about Christianity is that God forgives and forgets. I don't remember who asked, but a guy asked Jesus how many times to forgive someone and was told basically as many times as it takes. Humans are full of flaws and that's why Jesus died for our sins. It was known that people would sin but all is forgiven if someone was genuinely asking and works to better him or herself. That's also where we are told not to judge. You don't know why someone messed up and it's frankly none of your business. That's between that individual and God. Anyways back to a couple, they're allowed to commit all sorts of debauchery because they're married to each other. And anything sexual or sensual between the couple is seen as good as long as it's just them and nothing too freaky. Procreation may be the primary reason for sex, but there are all sorts of secondary benefits that the couple can exploit and enjoy as it promotes love between them.

As far as calling oneself a Christian but not acting like one, that's on that individual. I know I have vices but I turn to my faith to make myself a better person and I did pretty well in the past couple of years. I alluded to it earlier, but birth control is okay for a married couple. It may not be encouraged, but we don't forbid it. Now if you're single and using birth control, that's between you and God and I don't care to know the gory details.

We don't really have conflict because all members have access to our teachings and everyone is encouraged to question things as that promotes intellectual and spiritual growth. Only conflicts we have are on a personal level, not a leadership or church-wide level. For example, I don't agree with polygamy being practiced at one point like 150 years ago. But I can understand why it happened considering that as soon as we got started, our members were being killed leaving the women and children without support or protection. Heck the government even sent the whole Army to attack Utah pretty much over rumors and hearsay.

I think the real reason why there's a conlfict between the sexes is because of societal misconceptions and people using that for selfish gain. The media doesn't help much either by playing stereotypes. Like White men being passive, Black men being mindless aggressors, Hispanic men being sexist, conservatives being stupid and evil, liberal women being promiscuous, religious women being weak-willed, etc. And since everyone has different ideas and upbringings, it only exacerbates the problem. Very simple solution is to understand and socialize with different people. You never know who will come along and be the best thing since sliced bread. Whether in a church, out of a church, different ethnicity, different lifestyle, you just don't know. That's why you accept that people are different and treat everyone with respect. Not branding a whole group of people as bad, ignorant, or mindless because they CHOOSE to believe a certain way.
 scorprockscorps
Joined: 12/25/2012
Msg: 166
Religion and modern relationships, is there a basic conflict?
Posted: 1/12/2013 3:54:13 AM
Wow the ignorance on this thread is astounding.

And what exactly were you expecting with a thread that begins with the title "Religion" smh.
Hello and welcome to the internet. Any forum on any website will yield exactly the same result.

To the OP here's one for you. How about religion and modern adult films? Plenty of relationships there. Am i the only one who notices a growing trend in adult film stars wearing their crucifix necklaces/jewelry tattoos etc, while on film?

Sfv, CA. Is considered the adult film capital of the world and it's a multi billion dollar industry in the US.
So I don't see how that one experience can be associated with an entire country that releases over 20,000 adult videos annually and rentss over 800m of them each year.

I think religions are generally boring imo and separate rather than unify. I think the Christianity in the west you speak of has become generic and marketed like any other product for sale. I believe people make up their beliefs as they go along. That being said, the only prudishness or sexual tension I've ever experienced is when a woman simply hasn't dated someone long enough to feel comfortable about sex. Most women I meet would say thinking of sex as a "dirty sin" is a think of the 50's and not relevant in today's society.

There's no way I'd ever even consider marrying someone I haven't been sexually intimate with. Not that I disrespect their choices. I'm only assuming for the sake of humanity that a good majority of the replies are generally telling you that religion and sex should be based on a persons own personal belief systems and that this conflict you are referring to is as perceived.
 Xray86
Joined: 2/2/2012
Msg: 167
Religion and modern relationships, is there a basic conflict?
Posted: 1/12/2013 8:18:21 AM

And what exactly were you expecting with a thread that begins with the title "Religion" smh.
Hello and welcome to the internet. Any forum on any website will yield exactly the same result.


I meant it in the context that it was more than usual on this thread. But thank you for calling out my own ignorance on the matter. I've only been using the Internet since I was a kid.
 Maleman999
Joined: 2/14/2010
Msg: 168
Religion and modern relationships, is there a basic conflict?
Posted: 1/12/2013 10:19:37 AM
Msg 201:



Anyways back to a couple, they're allowed to commit all sorts of debauchery because they're married to each other. And anything sexual or sensual between the couple is seen as good as long as it's just them and nothing too freaky.


According to your sex manual, otherwise know as the Bible, what is considered too freaky? If a couple try to spice up their sex life by trying new positions instead of just doing it missionary style every time, what are the limitations to what they can do that is approved by God? Not only should the government stay out of people's bedroom, but so should religion.





Now if you're single and using birth control, that's between you and God and I don't care to know the gory details.


So now sex is gory if single and using birth control. Do you know what's even more gory? Being single and having sex and NOT using birth control. I guess the majority of people are going to Hell for not following your rules, since you're God's gofer.
 _shakti_
Joined: 7/5/2011
Msg: 169
Religion and modern relationships, is there a basic conflict?
Posted: 1/12/2013 10:55:25 AM

we condemn sex outside of marriage.
Oral/manual stimulation is all good though hey? There's no specific verse about that after all............
 ForumFiona
Joined: 1/7/2013
Msg: 170
Religion and modern relationships, is there a basic conflict?
Posted: 1/12/2013 12:08:12 PM
Xray86:
But the great thing about Christianity is that God forgives and forgets. I don't remember who asked, but a guy asked Jesus how many times to forgive someone and was told basically as many times as it takes.

O boy there are many things wrong with those statements. You are taking these scriptures out of context as God clearly states that you do not allow evil into your life and that we must leave them to protect ourselves.
Try Luke 17:3. And Genesis 13, 21: 8-13 which outlines how Abraham separated himself from family.
Also Jesus did not force his teachings on unwilling participants, I believe third time was his charm. Sorry I can't recall where its stated specifically as its been eons since I attended my church or read the bible for that matter.
 InActingLive
Joined: 10/27/2012
Msg: 171
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History
Religion and modern relationships, is there a basic conflict?
Posted: 1/12/2013 12:33:15 PM
I was raised Catholic with the teachings that abstinence is expected until marriage. To be honest I haven't practiced that. I would instead classify myself as serially monogamous. I'm also no longer a practicing Catholic. I've dated people who were various forms of Christian, New Age, and even Atheist. What I've learned over the years is that beliefs regarding sexuality and religion are deeply personal and that as long as both partners are open minded and respectful relationships can work. Conflict seems to occur not when the couples beliefs differ but when one or both partners don't respect each others beliefs. Remember, you don' have to agree with everything your partner believes in, you just have to value your partner so much that you respect their beliefs.
 drinkthesunwithmyface
Joined: 3/27/2012
Msg: 172
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History
Religion and modern relationships, is there a basic conflict?
Posted: 1/12/2013 3:26:59 PM

Religion and modern relationships, is there a basic conflict?


Anytime anywhere religion is involved, there is always a basic, and therefore serious, conflict.
 Xray86
Joined: 2/2/2012
Msg: 173
Religion and modern relationships, is there a basic conflict?
Posted: 1/12/2013 3:48:06 PM
Like I said about ignorance...


According to your sex manual, otherwise know as the Bible, what is considered too freaky? If a couple try to spice up their sex life by trying new positions instead of just doing it missionary style every time, what are the limitations to what they can do that is approved by God? Not only should the government stay out of people's bedroom, but so should religion.


Are you being serious? My definition of freaky involves candles, chains, and whips. Basically if it involves bodily harm, then it's looked down on. I have no idea why you think religious people only need to do missionary. Try reading my statement again.


So now sex is gory if single and using birth control. Do you know what's even more gory? Being single and having sex and NOT using birth control. I guess the majority of people are going to Hell for not following your rules, since you're God's gofer.


Now you're just being stupid. You had absolutely no idea what I said. Let's try this again. If you're single and using birth control, that's between you and whoever. I wouldn't care to know about the details on why you're doing that. I would have to assume you're having sex. Otherwise, birth control would be pointless. Now put that into the context of the person being in my faith. If I know that much about your personal life, something's kind of off. I wouldn't cast you out but I would voice some concern since we would be in the same faith and believe the same things.


Oral/manual stimulation is all good though hey? There's no specific verse about that after all............


I don't know about a specific verse, I'm not a Bible-thumper. When we say sex we mean any and all sexual activity. But if you're married, who cares if you do oral or manual stimulation. Couples can do whatever with each other.


O boy there are many things wrong with those statements. You are taking these scriptures out of context as God clearly states that you do not allow evil into your life and that we must leave them to protect ourselves.
Try Luke 17:3. And Genesis 13, 21: 8-13 which outlines how Abraham separated himself from family.
Also Jesus did not force his teachings on unwilling participants, I believe third time was his charm. Sorry I can't recall where its stated specifically as its been eons since I attended my church or read the bible for that matter.


I read the verses and I don't see how I'm wrong or why those verses were different from what I said or even relevent. The Genesis verses talk about how there was a disagreement between Abraham and Lot regarding what land to take. They were told one should pick a spot and the other pick a different spot. Then it later talks about how God told Abraham to not worry about what Sarah said about some bondswoman and her son as Isaac was going to be his heir. The Luke verse talks about how you should rebuke someone who assails you unless that person repents, then you should forgive. I didn't mention the repentance part because I thought that was understood regarding forgiveness. Okay, to clarify, you forgive as many times as it takes as long as that person repented of whatever bad thing he did. And even then God tells us to forgive people who don't want it as it's a healing process for the forgiver. Not sure what you're even talking about with Jesus not forcing his teachings onto others. He never did that as it contradicts the teaching of free agency, or the right to choose.
 drinkthesunwithmyface
Joined: 3/27/2012
Msg: 174
view profile
History
Religion and modern relationships, is there a basic conflict?
Posted: 1/12/2013 4:05:40 PM
Wait...does the bible say anything against chickens? It's important...I really need to know...

ba-GOCK!
 _shakti_
Joined: 7/5/2011
Msg: 175
Religion and modern relationships, is there a basic conflict?
Posted: 1/12/2013 4:20:19 PM

I don't know about a specific verse, I'm not a Bible-thumper.
Nor am I, yet I know there is none.

Do you think that's why many christians cling to the weak technicality of their virginity/purity so that God will see them as good and pure prior to marriage.. ? Performing and receiving oral sex to get their guilt free rocks off because there are no specific verses. I'm sure God is looking down upon them with pure pride and joy.

When we say sex we mean any and all sexual activity.
We? You speak for all christians? Lol.. wow, that must weigh awfully heavily.

But if you're married, who cares if you do oral or manual stimulation. Couples can do whatever with each other.
I've never been married and I am no virgin. I've also *gasp* had children out of wedlock. Yes, I'm one of those women. The willfully unsaved.

Good thing I don't seek to date christian men who would use and judge me.. not ever again that is. You can keep your delusions of perfection, I prefer the real world and to date those who live squarely within it.
 Xray86
Joined: 2/2/2012
Msg: 176
Religion and modern relationships, is there a basic conflict?
Posted: 1/12/2013 8:05:48 PM
Oh come on...


We? You speak for all christians? Lol.. wow, that must weigh awfully heavily.


I was merely stating a fact on the position of my faith. I'm not speaking for every Christian. Everything I posted on this thread is stuff I believe as a Mormon and things that we stand by. Or suppose to, no one's a saint.


I've never been married and I am no virgin. I've also *gasp* had children out of wedlock. Yes, I'm one of those women. The willfully unsaved.


And your point is... what? I had sex before marriage. I don't see anyone mounting their horse, screaming death to infidels. Was that the Mormon thing for me to do? Sure wasn't, but stuff happens. Some people know, some people don't. It's my business who I inform of that and it's no one's place to judge. I have several friends in the church who are divorced or had sex before marriage. Are they lesser people because they're "impure" or whatever? No, because stuff happens and people aren't judged by other members. Not suppose to anyways, we have our share of pompous punks. We, in my church just to clarify, are encouraged not to judge others and be inclusive.


Good thing I don't seek to date christian men who would use and judge me.. not ever again that is. You can keep your delusions of perfection, I prefer the real world and to date those who live squarely within it.


And you shouldn't date a Christian or any other type of guy who would use and judge you. That's not right for anyone. But then you turn around and tell me that I can "keep my delusions of perfection" and date guys living in the real world. I'm sorry, but I'm delusional because I choose to believe there's an omnipresent being and choose not to engage in certain activities? You're saying I don't live in the real world? Last I checked, I live on Earth. What about you? And aren't you judging me because of the faulty actions and ideas of a few other guys? Because like a handful of guys represent 100% of every other man in that demographic. That sounds like logic used to say all Black men are criminals.
 ixtlan09
Joined: 9/9/2012
Msg: 177
Religion and modern relationships, is there a basic conflict?
Posted: 1/12/2013 8:11:13 PM
It's difficult to have a relationship with people who are mentally ill. People who engage in magical thinking are mentally ill. It is that simple.
 Xray86
Joined: 2/2/2012
Msg: 178
Religion and modern relationships, is there a basic conflict?
Posted: 1/12/2013 9:57:14 PM

It's difficult to have a relationship with people who are mentally ill. People who engage in magical thinking are mentally ill. It is that simple.


Really? I'm retarded because my mentally ill brain is open to the possibilities of stuff beyond numbers and equations? You know what, screw it. All I did was present a different viewpoint to the OP and that isn't welcomed in this "enlightened" thread. Funny how the views and opinions of the non-religious are so much better than the ill and small-minded thinking of the religious. You think you're better people by trashing the beliefs of others? Who do you think started most of the wars in the last century? But that's okay because the evil Christians started the Crusades like six hundred years ago. You all can have fun this all inclusive club and wonder why you're unhappy by the time you're forty. Peace out.
 vibrantshe
Joined: 3/21/2011
Msg: 179
Religion and modern relationships, is there a basic conflict?
Posted: 1/12/2013 10:11:35 PM
Although I am not a believer, I did grow up in a Jewish home. To be honest, I really don’t get the Christian point of view regarding sex. In the Jewish religion – within a marriage, sex is not only not a sin, but considered a great blessing. In fact sex is very often addressed within a Jewish marriage contract. If the husband doesn’t satisfy his wife, she is well within her rights to divorce him.

That said, I think it is way, way more fun to have sex with a man who think sex is dirty, than with a man who doesn’t think sex is dirty.
 _shakti_
Joined: 7/5/2011
Msg: 180
Religion and modern relationships, is there a basic conflict?
Posted: 1/12/2013 10:30:47 PM

And you shouldn't date a Christian or any other type of guy who would use and judge you. That's not right for anyone. But then you turn around and tell me that I can "keep my delusions of perfection" and date guys living in the real world. I'm sorry, but I'm delusional because I choose to believe there's an omnipresent being and choose not to engage in certain activities?
But you just admitted that you did engage in those same activities that you claim to be against?

And it sounded as though you were suggesting that everyone should live up to some perfect religious standard.. that was the delusion I was speaking of. I too believe in God, albeit differently from you, so I would be a hypocrite to call you delusional for that.

And aren't you judging me because of the faulty actions and ideas of a few other guys? Because like a handful of guys represent 100% of every other man in that demographic.
I know that not all christian men are created equal, I guess I've just had one too many negative experiences. I apologize if my comments came across as reverse judgment, it is just my hurt talking.. and it's still kinda fresh.

I believe that people with different religious/spiritual views can make a relationship work. But it takes two to have that belief and the commitment to follow it through. Not that there are ever any guarantees.
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