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Show ALL Forums  > Over 45  > Sincerely with Our Dogs and Cats in our Middle Ages????      Home login  
 AUTHOR
 BLoNde__ANgeL
Joined: 9/20/2011
Msg: 126
Sincerely with Our Dogs and Cats in our Middle Ages????Page 6 of 11    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11)
Oh I know my cats love me...w/o a doubt...I'm "Mama" to them...they r very social & attached, not just for food, they love to cuddle with me...
 Do_overs
Joined: 4/25/2012
Msg: 127
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Sincerely with Our Dogs and Cats in our Middle Ages????
Posted: 6/20/2012 6:03:57 PM
It appears that people have replaced human contact and affection with there animals. Why do you even post if your animal is the most important thing in you life and you post pictures if them like they matter. Get real people. This plant has gone to the dogs. I see people picking up dog feces behind the animals. Who's the real master. I see more violence and arguement and court battles becausse of animals than I do with people issues. Grow up people, get a real life.
 Do_overs
Joined: 4/25/2012
Msg: 128
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Sincerely with Our Dogs and Cats in our Middle Ages????
Posted: 6/20/2012 6:07:00 PM
It appears that people have replaced human contact and affection with there animals. Why do you even post if your animal is the most important thing in your life and you post pictures of them like they matter. Get real people. This plant has gone to the dogs. I see people picking up dog feces behind the animals. Who's the real master. I see more violence and argument and court battles because of animals than I do with people issues. Grow up people, get a real life.
 Wonder5750
Joined: 1/30/2012
Msg: 129
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Sincerely with Our Dogs and Cats in our Middle Ages????
Posted: 6/20/2012 8:54:51 PM
a replacement... no. not at all. But there are people that get along with animals and those that don't. Just as there are other things people agree or disagree on. Animals are great for many reasons, and its someting great to have in common. I have a real life thank you... a fine one actually. :) Its just different than yours.
 LAgoodguy
Joined: 8/21/2008
Msg: 130
Sincerely with Our Dogs and Cats in our Middle Ages????
Posted: 6/20/2012 11:05:44 PM
Maybe dogs feel love maybe not we can argue that.. But it has alot to do with how they make us feel about our selves, Being around those dogs. Many times I would take the company of a good dog who makes me laugh and feel good inside then the company of some of the people I know. Its all about not how they feel about you but how they make you feel about them. How many times you see or read about a guy who loves his woman and likes to show it by beating her every day.. You always know where you stand with a dog.
 Wonder5750
Joined: 1/30/2012
Msg: 131
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Sincerely with Our Dogs and Cats in our Middle Ages????
Posted: 6/21/2012 8:09:46 AM
We don't know how animals deal with emotions and some will argue that they don't have any. I know they do. Have you ever seen what happens when you put a domestic horse down, what the rest of the heard does just as they die? They raise their head and call to the sky. It is a very emotional thing to see, and quite amazing. I have seen a dog with pups lose one, she roots at it, and its heart breaking when she realizes its dead. I have had them bring them to me to "fix it".

Animals might love, and just as they view life different they my view that different as well. You ask if I would love mine any less if I thought they didn't... of course not. I just find it sad that there are people in the world that don't get the bond, that think its weak or stupid. But then we are humans and will put down those things we don't understand.
 soicat
Joined: 5/17/2012
Msg: 132
Sincerely with Our Dogs and Cats in our Middle Ages????
Posted: 6/21/2012 9:06:35 AM
It's pure irony that the cruelest, and most treacherous species on the planet is seriously debating here whether other species are capable of feeling love. Wasn't it Descartes who said animals don't feel pain? The plaintive sounds they made when he was torturing them - as for example when he'd nail their paws to a board and dissect them alive - were just the noises of machines breaking down.
 Wonder5750
Joined: 1/30/2012
Msg: 133
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Sincerely with Our Dogs and Cats in our Middle Ages????
Posted: 6/21/2012 9:12:41 AM
omg.. that is discusting. what a sick **stard.
 Phil_an_derer
Joined: 5/30/2012
Msg: 134
Sincerely with Our Dogs and Cats in our Middle Ages????
Posted: 6/21/2012 11:22:13 AM
When my dog misses my GF (she has her own place) my dog will go find her sweater which is usually on the bed in the spare room bring it back to her dog bed and sleep with it. When my dog wants to go visit she will grab my gf's slippers and drop them at my feet....sure it might be a learnt behaviour, but when we miss someone and call them is it not the same thing...Now when she wants to just go for a walk she will grab her leash and bring it to me...its uncanny how smart she is...I believe my dog is able to love...
 Ready_Real
Joined: 12/30/2010
Msg: 135
Sincerely with Our Dogs and Cats in our Middle Ages????
Posted: 6/24/2012 2:38:02 PM

I wouldn't respect a person who could discard an animal like it was a lamp. And that's the attitude I see reflected in the question


Believe me: as the OP who supposedly has some decades' worth of expertise with written communication, my compunction meter is off the charts for this one. Again and again I have expressed regret for "the attitude" not only you but many "see reflected in the question." But the thread continues to expand, so I'll once again try to reiterate/reclarify:

the OP never meant to suggest, imply, or presume that anyone should forsake, reject, euthanize, or in any way surrender his beloved pet for anyone. Rather, it was meant to ask if the preliminary "meeting someone" stage was out of the question for any pet owner---given that the odds of LTR live-in relationships happening at 45+ are (as noted here on virtually every thread in this forum) infinitely higher for us.

So. Would you even take the chance and meet someone upfront about having severe pet allergies ---- knowing that "ultimately" ("ultimately" clarified to mean once your pet has lived out its natural days with you -- and not a second before this , you'd not be able to have future pets iff the two of you managed to overcome the high odds to the contrary and find "the LTR" that many of us 45+ practical romantics continue to dream of having?

If this isn't crystal clear, you can be sure that it reflects my best effort to this effect.

Signed,

An Animal Lover Big Time and pet owner --- until her child's extremely severe allergies as mandated by numerous specialists in the medical profession after every possible medical option nonetheless precluded any possibility of pet ownership. Much to the heartbreaking disappointment of everyone in the family home --- most especially the child (whose growth to adulthood btw has unfortunately not mitigated in the least these severe allergies.)
 moraima
Joined: 6/26/2005
Msg: 136
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Sincerely with Our Dogs and Cats in our Middle Ages????
Posted: 6/24/2012 2:48:29 PM
"An Animal Lover Big Time and pet owner --- until her child's extremely severe allergies as mandated by numerous specialists in the medical profession precluded any possibility of pet ownership. Much to the heartbreaking disappointment of everyone in the family home --- most especially the child whose growth to adulthood has unfortunately not mitigated in the least these severe allergies."

I clearly remember 7 specialists in my hospital room all agreeing that I had to get rid of my pets if I wanted to get better. I told them that the pets stayed. They wanted to pump me full of steroids. Checked myself out of hospital even though I was very ill. Ended up I had serious symptoms caused by the West Nile Virus before the medical professional knew what West Nile Virus was all about. Took me 2 years before I could raise my arms and carry any weight at all. Pets stayed and helped me through that difficult time.

I have two married veterinarian friends. There daughter was diagnosed with serious breathing problems/animal allergies. Parents worked through her issues with her, never getting rid of pets. Today their daughter is a leading dog behaviourist.

My best friend has serious allergies to cats. She runs a no kill cat adoption facility on her property. Shelter usually averages 70 cats on regular basis. She just loves it when people surrender their cats especially if they are seniors cats because of their allergies.

Each to our own way to dealing with our lives.
 Ready_Real
Joined: 12/30/2010
Msg: 137
Sincerely with Our Dogs and Cats in our Middle Ages????
Posted: 6/24/2012 2:57:15 PM

There daughter was diagnosed with serious breathing problems/animal allergies. Parents worked through her issues with her, never getting rid of pets. Today their daughter is a leading dog behaviourist.

My best friend has serious allergies to cats. She runs a no kill cat adoption facility on her property. Shelter usually averages 70 cats on regular basis. She just loves it when people surrender their cats especially if they are seniors cats because of their allergies.


And I say: this is a wonderful thing to have happened in each of these person's lives. Unfortunately, it is not always possible for everyone to achieve the same outcome when it comes to life's challenges! When my husband was dx. with ALS, people meant well in referencing the life of Stephen Hawking, famous physicist and gentleman who has managed to survive for 40+ years beyond the average PALS (person with ALS) life expectancy of 3 years. The bottom line for most persons dx with ALS is that they live for 3 years. . . We get what we get, and hopefully do our very best to make the most of what we get:)
 moraima
Joined: 6/26/2005
Msg: 138
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Sincerely with Our Dogs and Cats in our Middle Ages????
Posted: 6/24/2012 3:26:20 PM
"When my husband was dx. with ALS"

Been there done something similar. My late husband got a lot out of our dogs and cats even though he was terminal. He had enough to deal with as did I, and there was never a thought of giving up our pets.
Therapy dogs and cats are a big part of many hospitals.

"Unfortunately, it is not always possible for everyone to achieve the same outcome when it comes to life's challenges! "

Most done even try to work around pet allergies, hence the difference.

Best for those who don't want to try to simply not date people with pets.

I had a bf who took forever to tell me that the reason his eyes were red and watering was because he was allergic to my cats. Never once did he have a thought of me getting rid of my cats over a several year period.
 ladyc4
Joined: 2/14/2006
Msg: 139
Sincerely with Our Dogs and Cats in our Middle Ages????
Posted: 6/24/2012 4:20:51 PM

the OP never meant to suggest, imply, or presume that anyone should forsake, reject, euthanize, or in any way surrender his beloved pet for anyone. Rather, it was meant to ask if the preliminary "meeting someone" stage was out of the question for any pet owner---given that the odds of LTR live-in relationships happening at 45+ are (as noted here on virtually every thread in this forum) infinitely higher for us.

---- knowing that "ultimately" ("ultimately" clarified to mean once your pet has lived out its natural days with you -- and not a second before this , you'd not be able to have future pets iff the two of you managed to overcome the high odds to the contrary and find "the LTR" that many of us 45+ practical romantics continue to dream of having?

If this isn't crystal clear, you can be sure that it reflects my best effort to this effect.

OP
I think a lot of us did have an idea what you were getting at except-go back to message #1-aka the O.riginal T.opic

this portion

Is the above definition of "love" for one's animals as something placed in the upper deck of the same boat with "family and friends" the inevitable outcome of too many years spent middle aged and alone. I mean, it's absolutely one thing for someone our age to be clear to any prospective lover that our children will always come first -- or always be "as important" to us as any love we may have at this age. But are singles over 45 so resigned to never finding That Special Love that they are not even willing to leave themselves open to meeting Mr/Ms. Right unless they accept a "love" on par with our animals?


I think that was what kind of threw everybody. I don't think any of us really understood that the question supposedly being asked was "Would you not even bother to meet someone with allergies"?" (as claimed in message # 174)-was that whether intentional or not, the message in the OT came across as (at minimum) incredulity, that middle-aged people who are die-hard pet/companion animal owners must have a screw loose somewhere, or be pathetically resigned to being unpartnered.Then of course a few people who really DO resent pets and their owners had to throw a few rocks into the pond as well. I know that GENUINE huge giant mass misunderstandings are possible but I'm not sure they really are all that common-not as common as the statementmaker or questionasker coming back with a disclaimer of " that's not what I meant", or alleging that they have been grievously misunderstood.
If you wanted to know whether or not pet owners would bother to contact-or respond to contact FROM-those with intractable allergies, why didn't you just ask it that way? Why , the references to "being so resigned","being so many years(middle aged) and alone
But to get back to the restated/amended question presented in message # 174, I think that most folks who are dyed-in-the-wool pet owners or who are involved with pets and/or livestock are not going to spend much time dating someone who has intractable allergies. Even if just for dating or a non-cohabiting relationship, it can be difficult to make sure one doesn't bring along a bit of hair or dander( IMO no ensemble is complete without a bit of pet hair), or that it will be in one's vehicle. And if the allergies are that severe, it would seem like most of the time together would be spent in places and activities that wouldn't aggravate the allergies. It's not always just pets/animals that can cause allergies to flare up, either. Other environmental issues could come into play, people who live in or near forests,people who heat with wood or have near neighbors that do,people who live in generally rural areas with lots of pollen-laden plants or trees.

My advice to a person who suffers from severe allergies, is that they probably would be better served to pass by the profiles of those who indicate pet ownership or any other factors that could be an issue for someone with allergies.
To answer the question
So. Would you even take the chance and meet someone upfront about having severe pet allergies
No, I would not take the chance. It would be a strong likelihood that someone with severe pet allergies would have a lot of trouble sharing many aspects of my life even if we never do live under the same roof.
Cindy O
 Janet_Always
Joined: 6/20/2012
Msg: 140
Sincerely with Our Dogs and Cats in our Middle Ages????
Posted: 6/24/2012 5:09:54 PM
I have a dog who is part of my life and I'm not crazy about cats. I need someone on the same page with this.

Just like religion, politics and other preferences, these are things that make a shared lifestyle compatible that I would not compromise.

It's absurd to say I love my dog more than a man or that I'm somehow rigid because I choose to be true to my desires.

At 52 I know what I want... I would guess most over 45's do as well.
 Ready_Real
Joined: 12/30/2010
Msg: 141
Sincerely with Our Dogs and Cats in our Middle Ages????
Posted: 6/25/2012 7:32:08 AM
Thanks, Cindy. Yes. I did have that figured out --- a little late -- but thanks for letting me know that you (and most others) also have my number on this one!

Moirama, so very sorry for your loss. . .

If you'd contact me via my username, I'd be very appreciative to get the name of your friends who work w/ those animal lovers who've been told that under no circumstances should they ever get a dog or cat (or anything with any kind of fur). I would like to pass their name on to the loved one mentioned in the OP. Thanks!

In light of today's AP news article, "New study focuses on the intellect of apes," (written by Seth Borenstein), this thread certainly offers a timely tangental thought on the question of the degree to which animals possess cognitive thinking abilities (in this particular article, the focus is on "how animals think" given specifically documented behavior of chimps, baboons, orangutans, and bonobos (??? I'll have to google this one!)

All of this said, I make no apologies for being willing to give up the possibility of owning a pet in the future iff a man with severe allergies were to enter my life. However I would never give up a pet currently owned. Besides: if we had anything worth calling an LTR, I have no doubt that we could accomodate any/everything just as any two people with any "challenges" of lifestyle or compatibility or interests divergent could accommodate every/anything ------- iff they are "right" for each other in ways that can only be felt above and beyond all rational words or thoughts" :)
 zookie57
Joined: 1/27/2012
Msg: 142
Sincerely with Our Dogs and Cats in our Middle Ages????
Posted: 6/25/2012 7:42:20 AM

At 52 I know what I want... I would guess most over 45's do as well.


& that is why it is so elusive.........and why most over 45 can't find it now ?

imo, for those who after a certain age, do need,can I say that here! Need! lol Or should I say want now,a pet,person or other to calm the savage soul went no one else is in arms reach.


op, I understand what you are saying, like a sinking ship, as the women & children go first.

But that dam pet, never!

imo, making the whole family suffer because they allergic to a pet is beyond reason to me, in making them suffer.
Because of ones own selfish interest & not thinking of the family health first. jmo
 SproJoe
Joined: 9/1/2010
Msg: 143
Sincerely with Our Dogs and Cats in our Middle Ages????
Posted: 7/2/2012 4:35:34 AM
I love dogs and cats but first of all....Some women have replaced their SO with one or the other.
You have a more difficult time being spontaneous in getaway's etc with pets.
Lastly, I feel I am the only animal who sleeps in my bed. LOL
 Happy Dude 63
Joined: 5/3/2009
Msg: 144
Sincerely with Our Dogs and Cats in our Middle Ages????
Posted: 7/5/2012 4:48:39 AM
I have read a few replies about the OP. And I fall in line with most as a pet LOVER. My Daisy has been with me 11+ years. I would never even slightly think of giving her up. I think real pet lovers are offended even by the proposed question.

BUT i just read a reply that struck a cord with me, and as soon as I figure out how to {QUOTE} i will include them here.
Anyway this male poster said, Anything is a deal breaker if she cant fit into my life...or something about that.

That is what stops us from meeting some one, i think and we all have some of that thinking in our life. It is just a different list for each of us...AND it is also a list we have as the one coming in to "your" life so to speak... Like I just spoke with a nice lady who smokes often and drinks 3x a week. OK those are deal breakers and not somethings I should take off my list...

we just need to have shorter list and less intense requirements. BUT still find some one with the core of what we believe in, like and love..?? i just think we need to round our edges a bit.
 SpittyKitty
Joined: 5/2/2011
Msg: 145
Sincerely with Our Dogs and Cats in our Middle Ages????
Posted: 7/5/2012 5:21:52 PM
Yeah Cindy O~
I agree exactly with your post. Tell it like it really is.
The real question. Without all the misunderstandings and loaded questions.
 pepperstrand
Joined: 1/25/2015
Msg: 146
Sincerely with Our Dogs and Cats in our Middle Ages????
Posted: 9/20/2015 9:16:27 AM
I am highly allergic to cats. If a man that I was dating for a long period of time wanted his cat over me then I would be gone in a heartbeat. People trump animals every time! But if someone did not like my dog just because they were jealous that would be a deal breaker as well. I loves my dog!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
 BlackLady1953
Joined: 5/27/2011
Msg: 147
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Sincerely with Our Dogs and Cats in our Middle Ages????
Posted: 9/20/2015 9:53:06 AM
It's really simple, isn't it? If you don't like pets, or allergic to them.....then don't date people who have them. If someone were allergic to a certain food or foods (like I am), I would not expect a potential significant other to stop eating them. But I would not want to put my health at risk, nor anyone else's.

Again, SIMPLE.
 daynadaze
Joined: 2/11/2008
Msg: 148
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Sincerely with Our Dogs and Cats in our Middle Ages????
Posted: 9/20/2015 10:26:55 AM
There's some repeated misunderstandings running through this thread, like if you would not toss your pet then you must have replaced them with people because of some desperate loneliness or some other mental problem. What a load of ... I'm not a dog person, I don't hate dogs but I don't like them much. They are cute and puppies are adorable, but in the land of pets, they aren't my thing. So I don't generally date men with dogs, although it's not hard core, some dogs and I would get along. I certainly would have no interest at all in a man who would get rid of his dog(s) for me, that's a character thing that would turn me off. When you take on a pet, a working pet or a pampered pet or a friend type pet, you are making a commitment, you are ensuring they will be taken care of and certainly I would expect them to be loved. The last thing I would want out of life is to think I was in competition with a pet and I won, like that would prove to me that this man passed some test. What would stop someone who thinks like that, from dumping me for the next shiny object? No, it's wrong for me on all levels, we are obviously not a match, and I don't want to win any contests with someone's pet.

I'm also not interested in snakes (shudder) or other things that don't want to be your pet, locked up from their natural world, in some glass cube of some sort. And I don't want them out and about in a home either. It's not going to happen, but I would not expect someone into that sort of thing to not do what is right for them. I am a cat person, and I don't date men who hate or mistreat cats. Not going to happen, we are not a match, has noting to do with them or me being right or wrong, it's a boundary thing that I am not going to cross. I wouldn't at all be attracted to a man who would give up a pet for me. That's just so wrong.
 irishgirl772
Joined: 6/3/2013
Msg: 149
Sincerely with Our Dogs and Cats in our Middle Ages????
Posted: 9/20/2015 11:11:19 AM
^^I agree with this. A pet is a commitment. If a guy tossed his pet aside for a woman, what would stop him from tossing one woman aside for another? Lack of commitment is a huge turn off.
 Olivoil
Joined: 5/3/2015
Msg: 150
Sincerely with Our Dogs and Cats in our Middle Ages????
Posted: 9/20/2015 11:59:20 AM
Yes! I think the man with the profile is disclosing up front that his pets are not transient and disposable in his life.
That is about as clear an admission someone can share.
I like him for being clear up front, and if 'you' or anyone who seems compatible can't make it work with his pet, for whatever reason, then you are really not 'the one", are you?
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