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Show ALL Forums  > Off Topic  > Why Are Women So Mean to Other Women?      Home login  
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 femaleconnection
Joined: 8/12/2010
Msg: 51
Why Are Women So Mean to Other Women?Page 3 of 4    (1, 2, 3, 4)
I dont go into any situation thinking anyone is going to be nice to me, and then when it actually happens, I can be pleasantly surprised.

Why is anyone mean to anyone?

I guess I just dont expect women to be any kinder than men. We are all just humans, and some humans are mean. I dont think there are more women being mean to women then men...it is just something media likes to play up for ratings. A catfight sells. (a boob may slip out from behind the blouse and all that jazz...lol)
 larissan04
Joined: 8/11/2011
Msg: 52
Why Are Women So Mean to Other Women?
Posted: 5/23/2012 6:55:01 PM
OnlydateIE

"~Of course, by all means, if it's a personified trait of a woman on reality tv, well than it MUST be Normal and ok--Riggght--??..........because, EVERYthing on reality tv is just like Candid camera, right? And there are no storyboards or even show ideas, right....................?? And 'bad is the new 'Good'.... right?? Mmm hmmn................................ ~whoops, you can cut the mike now....lol"

Studies show that women typically engage in what is referred to as relational aggression. reality t.v. shows may reflect this, and some of them are probably edited to create more drama, but the fact remains, women generally are not so nice to other women. women also bully others with more passive aggressive means. there are a plethora of studies that support this. the comment about reality t.v. was simply that, a comment and nothing more.
 larissan04
Joined: 8/11/2011
Msg: 53
Why Are Women So Mean to Other Women?
Posted: 5/23/2012 6:59:50 PM
fillypilly~

"I've been treated far worse by men than women. I've had men say really ugly, nasty hurtful things about my appearance all my life and not once by any woman. The one horrible experience I had at work being targeted by mean girls was by two men. I believe in reading this that other women have had different experiences but all the meanness I've had directed at me was by men. I still read sh*t on here where men call women, sluts, skanks, whores, swamp donkeys, fat, old, stupid etc. "

i do think there is the whole double standard thing with men, i.e., if a girl has sex on the first date she's a ho, but if a man does it he's a stud. i also think human beings in general are capable of great cruelty; however, with women, they seem to target other women for no good reason at all, and when they do, it is always a knife in the back approach.

the reason why you've never had women call you these things to your face is because women don't say things to the target's face. they pretend they are friends, then just say it behind the person's back. that's how the mean girls roll. of course, not all women are like this, but women are mean, this is typically the modus operandi.
 musical_turtle
Joined: 3/11/2011
Msg: 54
Why Are Women So Mean to Other Women?
Posted: 5/24/2012 7:20:25 PM
I have like 2 friends that are women. They are physically stunning,and
the best part is they're 100% real. No bs.
The rest of my friends are men..
If there's a woman thats prettier, smarter, or more talented...
you know there's gonna be a few jealous women giving the evil eye.
That's how it is,imo. I say more power to women who are prettier,smarter,
or more talented than me. God bless them.
 bwena
Joined: 2/5/2012
Msg: 55
Why Are Women So Mean to Other Women?
Posted: 5/24/2012 7:33:24 PM
I've always thought my friends were attractive. And I admire them for the unique qualities that made them that way. We are all beautiful in our own way. I don't understand the jealousy and hatred. If anything, it always makes me want to work harder on myself. It should be good competition as ways to improve ourselves, not petty and jealous.
 onlydateIF
Joined: 11/15/2011
Msg: 56
Why Are Women So Mean to Other Women?
Posted: 5/24/2012 7:51:10 PM
^^^^@Larissan, I know about relational aggression woman to woman firsthand-my comment @reality tv was sarcastic, bc the way it's edited, viewers assume that if they see something on tv, it must be somehow, just 'normal', or worse, 'acceptable'-even if the behavior is abnormal or dysfunctional! Viewers watching are not aware of what the producers are doing behind the scenes to rile people up for better ratings (yes, this is true). To me, the aggression is intolerable, ridiculous, and costs friendships or causes problems at work when a woman fires up her green monster at me or another woman.
 licoricecat_1
Joined: 11/23/2008
Msg: 57
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Why Are Women So Mean to Other Women?
Posted: 5/24/2012 10:09:11 PM
I lost my job because of female bullying. When I went to the supervisor she did nothing and told me to stay away from them. These were women who ran to supervisor every time I went to the bathroom, etc. Women could be worse than men They seem to be more vindictive, more two faced, not loyal to their friends and would stab their best friends in the back for a guy. Why do women do this??? There needs to be more activities to promote female bonding. Men do a lot of things to bond: hunting, fishing, golfing, car shows, work on cars together, car racing, sports, etc. What do women do to bond? Talk about men and these talks are not ways to bond and are usually based around stressful events. Women lets start being loyal to each other and lets get bonded.
 licoricecat_1
Joined: 11/23/2008
Msg: 58
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Why Are Women So Mean to Other Women?
Posted: 5/24/2012 10:13:14 PM
There is a book called MEAN WOMEN out there and talks all about this topic.
 larissan04
Joined: 8/11/2011
Msg: 59
Why Are Women So Mean to Other Women?
Posted: 5/25/2012 6:43:51 PM
lilybeyaz

i agree with you in part about the not going to a supervisor part; however, if you don't confront a person that starts maligning you in the workplace, this person will keep doing it, then progress to getting others to gang up on you. i've seen it many times where a target tries to ignore it and try to be the "bigger" person, but the gossip flies around and pretty soon this victim ends up getting a bad reputation at work. i think one has a right to work in a professional, emotionally healthy environment. no one should have to put up with bullying or abusive anti-social behavior in the workplace. i think one has to confront the passive aggressive bully carefully but firmly, and when and if reporting it to HR or a supervisor, one has to be very careful about how they go about it. 9 times out of 10 managers really don't know what is going on, nor do they really know who the source of the problems happens to be.

as someone who once managed a gaggle of girls, i learned to be very careful about taking sides, and i often would stealthily ask questions in order to figure out what was really going on. when I saw cliques forming and someone being the odd man out or not being given information that they needed to be given, i moved people around in order to keep factions forming. i was also very careful about becoming too chummy with people that worked under me. i was personable and friendly, but i kept a professional distance. when i saw issues that could not be resolved by moving people around, i would try to transfer a person out, or just start cutting hours until they moved on to something else. worst case scenarios, i did end up declining to bring a few people on for new projects.
 larissan04
Joined: 8/11/2011
Msg: 60
Why Are Women So Mean to Other Women?
Posted: 5/25/2012 6:48:29 PM
licoracecat1

you bring up a good point - female bonding, men bond with each other, why don't we? well, studies show that men mentor younger men, or take another man under their wing, so to speak, while women rarely do this. trying to mentor another woman might be a good place to start...but then again...it's risky to try to mentor another woman... i wonder if it really all comes down to a loyalty issue...if men are more capable of loyalty then women...because you can't bond with someone that you can't trust...
 musical_turtle
Joined: 3/11/2011
Msg: 61
Why Are Women So Mean to Other Women?
Posted: 5/25/2012 11:13:24 PM
Luckily, I've never had to deal with women behaving mean to me at work.
However, when I was in school....I did one time.
The best thing is just to go straight to the source and put her in her place.
I did that,perhaps not in the best way (I smacked the girl in the face)
but problem was def solved. =)
 Mind_Snap
Joined: 5/12/2012
Msg: 62
Why Are Women So Mean to Other Women?
Posted: 5/25/2012 11:24:38 PM
Women usually have low self esteem that ends up taken out on others... Which tends to be other women because they can be easier to demean due to said general low-self esteem...
Also, women can be back stabbing, lying, manipulative; men can't really pull that off for the most part

All n all, chicks are a lil bit effed up IMO
 Luca =
Joined: 1/30/2010
Msg: 63
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Why Are Women So Mean to Other Women?
Posted: 5/26/2012 9:24:49 AM
Studies show women prefer working for a male boss. I was surprised that many women dislike working for a female boss.
 larissan04
Joined: 8/11/2011
Msg: 64
Why Are Women So Mean to Other Women?
Posted: 5/26/2012 10:24:11 AM
Luca~

"Studies show women prefer working for a male boss. I was surprised that many women dislike working for a female boss. :

Oh my...yes! I would much rather work for a man then a woman. Don't get me wrong, I've had some positive experiences with female bosses, but over all, in general, male bosses are much more professional, less emotional, and more objective when it comes to work. I've seen female bosses fire employees just because they personally did not like them, even if the employee did a good job. I've seen female bosses cry at work, and that goes for co-workers, too, and I've seen female bosses cross that line between friendship and professionalism far too many times to count. I don't think a lot of women "get it" when it comes to work. sure, you should get along with your co-workers, but you are not there to make buddies and the work place is not a social club. over the years, i've seen more time wasted because of female socializing then i care to mention. every time i have ever started a new job i would hope hope hope that i wouldn't get stuck with a female boss or supervisor...
 larissan04
Joined: 8/11/2011
Msg: 65
Why Are Women So Mean to Other Women?
Posted: 5/26/2012 10:30:13 AM
musical turtle

"The best thing is just to go straight to the source and put her in her place.
I did that,perhaps not in the best way (I smacked the girl in the face)
but problem was def solved. =)

Lol! yeah, there have been times where i wished i could just send someone over to the woman, and propose that we fight a duel or something. perhaps dueling should be brought back...oh yeah...and the face slap...i think the face slap definitely needs to step out of the film noir past and into the present...there have been many occasions where a face slap would have been a perfect attitude adjustment for some mean girl...
 BLoNde__ANgeL
Joined: 9/20/2011
Msg: 66
Why Are Women So Mean to Other Women?
Posted: 5/26/2012 10:40:41 AM
well, at my last job, if face slapping were allowed 4 mean girl petty BS, my hand woulda been sore...
 RushLuv
Joined: 4/16/2009
Msg: 67
Why Are Women So Mean to Other Women?
Posted: 5/26/2012 10:42:26 AM

Studies show women prefer working for a male boss. I was surprised that many women dislike working for a female boss.


This is not surprising in the least, considering some women find males to be more relaxed and easy going. I worked under a female boss once, and she was the most horrible manager I have ever came across. She was very rude, unappreciative of my hard work and waaay too uptight. It was obvious she was picking on me.

I quit that job on the spot one night, when I walked out.

Men overall are less complicated than women, and I know this from experience.

And from my experiences with other chicks, I couldn't put my finger on why they were so mean but my guess was bullying.
 Doremi_Fasolatido
Joined: 2/14/2009
Msg: 68
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Why Are Women So Mean to Other Women?
Posted: 5/26/2012 12:25:51 PM
I work around mostly men. Construction. I've been following this thread and it's an eye opener. I never realized women were so.... competitative. I think that is the way to describe what I am thinking.

I mean, my interaction with women is mainly outside of work. I always viewed women as the gender that related well with other women. I noticed that women will console one another faster than guys would. I notice women are quicker to hug and hold others too. Try that on a construction site sometime...

I guess there is a lot going on with you ladies that men either don't notice or ignore or just plain run away from. Informative thread, at least for me.
 larissan04
Joined: 8/11/2011
Msg: 69
Why Are Women So Mean to Other Women?
Posted: 5/26/2012 2:22:51 PM
stillookin~

"I guess there is a lot going on with you ladies that men either don't notice or ignore or just plain run away from. Informative thread, at least for me."

well, it's funny that you mentioned this. i can't tell you how many times i've had a conversation with a guy friend about this stuff. I don't think men see it. i've had guy friends say, "oh so and so is such a nice person," and i have bite my tongue to keep from saying, "uh...maybe to you...but she's a petty, catty, mean, snotty girl that spreads rumors about women she pretends to be friends with and stabs them in the back." when guys hear or see these types of women in action for the first time, they are usually very surprised. i don't think you guys area all that aware of it. you just don't have any idea how petty and mean women can be to other women. anyway, i am glad you gained some insights.
 BLonde^j^AngeL
Joined: 1/2/2015
Msg: 70
Why Are Women So Mean to Other Women?
Posted: 2/1/2015 5:31:28 PM

There's always a Queen Bee in every group, and usually at my age (over 45) these are the women who may once have been prom queen and have since lost their only asset (looks). Or were never considered attractive and now are just old, unattractive, hostile women.

Any woman they perceive as younger, prettier, more outgoing, better dressed, better figure, (etc) is considered a threat to them and they will rally the troops and destroy or get rid of the threat.
**********************************************************************************************
I've observed the relational aggression thing often, and understand it to be a self esteem issue. Attempts to one up another typically are. It also seems to be an attempt to assert dominance.
**********************************************************************************
I had a ‘friend’ like that. Always with the snide insidious remarks and bad mouthing me to men I expressed an interest in behind my back. It was obvious what was happening when a guy who acted hot for me one minute, then spoke to her, then shied away from me after that. She told me that if she looked like me she would bang all these guys…wtf? I’m not a whore and she acted like one anyway, so I guess it didn’t matter what she looked like. Jeez, what a horrible woman. No more toxic people for me.
**********************************************************************
it's evolutionary based- female dinosaurs did some mean crap to eachother, quite literally...if a female dinosaur & her offspring were done eating an animal but there was some flesh left, the Mom would take a dump on it, rendering it inedible for the other Moms & offspring who may have eaten the leftovers...

it's in our dna, but I guess we should be able to control some of our competativeness at this point...

you know that old saying about bridesmaids- a mother will advise her daughter who is the bride to choose only her homely friends to be bridesmaids so the bride will not be upstaged by her better looking friend(s) on her wedding day...

I was looking for another thread to pull up & found this while looking & decided it was worth re-viving, as a similar debate is going on in the relationships section...
Time marches on, but certain things remain the same!
 gtomustang
Joined: 6/16/2007
Msg: 71
Why Are Women So Mean to Other Women?
Posted: 2/1/2015 11:35:45 PM
no matter what planet humans end up populating, no matter what new invention replaces the Internet....the problems will remain the same so long as human nature remains the same.

As I believe has been mentioned before in this thread, there are certain women who will fight their battles a certain way b/c that certain way is the only "weapon" they have. Getting in someone's face looks too belligerent, too "male", too unsocial, so they wage the whisper campaign or tattle to the boss or gossip or whatever b/c then they can still wear their public identity/social status of "the person who is nice/the person who gets along" while they are stabbing their sharp knives into everyone's back.

I think every time I had a female friend complain about the wars they had with another female, it wasn't a problem of, "she pulled my hair". It was behavior that might be described as passive-aggressive--the enemy gets along with them in public, but sabotagoes privately.
 Dee4166
Joined: 6/16/2007
Msg: 72
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Why Are Women So Mean to Other Women?
Posted: 2/2/2015 5:02:27 AM
Well some women have grown beyond high school and I'm happy to say that I don't know ANY women like this and certainly don't have any in my Life...
Apparently there's QUITE an "epidemic" of this going on, although I was completely unaware of it...lol

To me, I am an adult, I don't sit back and watch and judge and assume ANYTHING about anyone...I ASK...

We are ALL so different that it is almost impossible to truly know another person's motivations unless we ask them...

I was actually astonished to encounter an extremely ridiculous situation with a friend of mine several years back...
She INSISTED that I end my friendship with a mutual friend because SHE had a problem with her...Couldn't even BELIEVE that a woman in her 40's would make such a ridiculous request of another adult!!!
The "issue" was nothing serious, btw.

I told her that I wasn't going to do that and she ended OUR friendship, instead....
I just look at it as she removed a problem from me that I was not too keen on dealing with and if she could THAT easily throw away a friendship of 9 years with me over that, well, that was HER choice...

I have ZERO tolerance/patience with passive/aggressive behaviour, manipulation and/or games of any kind...I don't "play" and don't expect others to do so with me, either....
 flaneur001
Joined: 7/31/2011
Msg: 73
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Why Are Women So Mean to Other Women?
Posted: 2/2/2015 7:51:18 AM
Dee, I completely agree with you. I'm 57 and can honestly say I haven't encountered this dynamic among women. I have an 18 year old step-daughter and I didn't see any of this among her group of friends either.

It's in credibly sad that SOME women have such negative experience with their own gender. As a mature adult, regardless of gender ,I try to navigate relationships based on open and clear communication.
 BLonde^j^AngeL
Joined: 1/2/2015
Msg: 74
Why Are Women So Mean to Other Women?
Posted: 2/2/2015 9:07:27 AM
I have cut back/cut out some people based on this & don't miss the, instead it has led me to newer & healthier relationships.
Why Are Women So Mean to Other Women?
Posted: 2/2/2015 1:40:24 PM
The original subject of this thread is one of the things which makes the claims of non-violence and cooperation ideals of feminism non-sensical to me (even though it's not even supposed to be about biological gender traits anyway, depending on who's (all wrong) definition of Feminism that you're talking about).
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