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Show ALL Forums  > Off Topic  > Why Are Women So Mean to Other Women?      Home login  
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 Mind_Snap
Joined: 5/12/2012
Msg: 62
Why Are Women So Mean to Other Women?Page 4 of 4    (1, 2, 3, 4)
Women usually have low self esteem that ends up taken out on others... Which tends to be other women because they can be easier to demean due to said general low-self esteem...
Also, women can be back stabbing, lying, manipulative; men can't really pull that off for the most part

All n all, chicks are a lil bit effed up IMO
 Luca =
Joined: 1/30/2010
Msg: 63
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Why Are Women So Mean to Other Women?
Posted: 5/26/2012 9:24:49 AM
Studies show women prefer working for a male boss. I was surprised that many women dislike working for a female boss.
 larissan04
Joined: 8/11/2011
Msg: 64
Why Are Women So Mean to Other Women?
Posted: 5/26/2012 10:24:11 AM
Luca~

"Studies show women prefer working for a male boss. I was surprised that many women dislike working for a female boss. :

Oh my...yes! I would much rather work for a man then a woman. Don't get me wrong, I've had some positive experiences with female bosses, but over all, in general, male bosses are much more professional, less emotional, and more objective when it comes to work. I've seen female bosses fire employees just because they personally did not like them, even if the employee did a good job. I've seen female bosses cry at work, and that goes for co-workers, too, and I've seen female bosses cross that line between friendship and professionalism far too many times to count. I don't think a lot of women "get it" when it comes to work. sure, you should get along with your co-workers, but you are not there to make buddies and the work place is not a social club. over the years, i've seen more time wasted because of female socializing then i care to mention. every time i have ever started a new job i would hope hope hope that i wouldn't get stuck with a female boss or supervisor...
 larissan04
Joined: 8/11/2011
Msg: 65
Why Are Women So Mean to Other Women?
Posted: 5/26/2012 10:30:13 AM
musical turtle

"The best thing is just to go straight to the source and put her in her place.
I did that,perhaps not in the best way (I smacked the girl in the face)
but problem was def solved. =)

Lol! yeah, there have been times where i wished i could just send someone over to the woman, and propose that we fight a duel or something. perhaps dueling should be brought back...oh yeah...and the face slap...i think the face slap definitely needs to step out of the film noir past and into the present...there have been many occasions where a face slap would have been a perfect attitude adjustment for some mean girl...
 BLoNde__ANgeL
Joined: 9/20/2011
Msg: 66
Why Are Women So Mean to Other Women?
Posted: 5/26/2012 10:40:41 AM
well, at my last job, if face slapping were allowed 4 mean girl petty BS, my hand woulda been sore...
 RushLuv
Joined: 4/16/2009
Msg: 67
Why Are Women So Mean to Other Women?
Posted: 5/26/2012 10:42:26 AM

Studies show women prefer working for a male boss. I was surprised that many women dislike working for a female boss.


This is not surprising in the least, considering some women find males to be more relaxed and easy going. I worked under a female boss once, and she was the most horrible manager I have ever came across. She was very rude, unappreciative of my hard work and waaay too uptight. It was obvious she was picking on me.

I quit that job on the spot one night, when I walked out.

Men overall are less complicated than women, and I know this from experience.

And from my experiences with other chicks, I couldn't put my finger on why they were so mean but my guess was bullying.
 Doremi_Fasolatido
Joined: 2/14/2009
Msg: 68
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Why Are Women So Mean to Other Women?
Posted: 5/26/2012 12:25:51 PM
I work around mostly men. Construction. I've been following this thread and it's an eye opener. I never realized women were so.... competitative. I think that is the way to describe what I am thinking.

I mean, my interaction with women is mainly outside of work. I always viewed women as the gender that related well with other women. I noticed that women will console one another faster than guys would. I notice women are quicker to hug and hold others too. Try that on a construction site sometime...

I guess there is a lot going on with you ladies that men either don't notice or ignore or just plain run away from. Informative thread, at least for me.
 larissan04
Joined: 8/11/2011
Msg: 69
Why Are Women So Mean to Other Women?
Posted: 5/26/2012 2:22:51 PM
stillookin~

"I guess there is a lot going on with you ladies that men either don't notice or ignore or just plain run away from. Informative thread, at least for me."

well, it's funny that you mentioned this. i can't tell you how many times i've had a conversation with a guy friend about this stuff. I don't think men see it. i've had guy friends say, "oh so and so is such a nice person," and i have bite my tongue to keep from saying, "uh...maybe to you...but she's a petty, catty, mean, snotty girl that spreads rumors about women she pretends to be friends with and stabs them in the back." when guys hear or see these types of women in action for the first time, they are usually very surprised. i don't think you guys area all that aware of it. you just don't have any idea how petty and mean women can be to other women. anyway, i am glad you gained some insights.
 BLonde^j^AngeL
Joined: 1/2/2015
Msg: 70
Why Are Women So Mean to Other Women?
Posted: 2/1/2015 5:31:28 PM

There's always a Queen Bee in every group, and usually at my age (over 45) these are the women who may once have been prom queen and have since lost their only asset (looks). Or were never considered attractive and now are just old, unattractive, hostile women.

Any woman they perceive as younger, prettier, more outgoing, better dressed, better figure, (etc) is considered a threat to them and they will rally the troops and destroy or get rid of the threat.
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I've observed the relational aggression thing often, and understand it to be a self esteem issue. Attempts to one up another typically are. It also seems to be an attempt to assert dominance.
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I had a ‘friend’ like that. Always with the snide insidious remarks and bad mouthing me to men I expressed an interest in behind my back. It was obvious what was happening when a guy who acted hot for me one minute, then spoke to her, then shied away from me after that. She told me that if she looked like me she would bang all these guys…wtf? I’m not a whore and she acted like one anyway, so I guess it didn’t matter what she looked like. Jeez, what a horrible woman. No more toxic people for me.
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it's evolutionary based- female dinosaurs did some mean crap to eachother, quite literally...if a female dinosaur & her offspring were done eating an animal but there was some flesh left, the Mom would take a dump on it, rendering it inedible for the other Moms & offspring who may have eaten the leftovers...

it's in our dna, but I guess we should be able to control some of our competativeness at this point...

you know that old saying about bridesmaids- a mother will advise her daughter who is the bride to choose only her homely friends to be bridesmaids so the bride will not be upstaged by her better looking friend(s) on her wedding day...

I was looking for another thread to pull up & found this while looking & decided it was worth re-viving, as a similar debate is going on in the relationships section...
Time marches on, but certain things remain the same!
 gtomustang
Joined: 6/16/2007
Msg: 71
Why Are Women So Mean to Other Women?
Posted: 2/1/2015 11:35:45 PM
no matter what planet humans end up populating, no matter what new invention replaces the Internet....the problems will remain the same so long as human nature remains the same.

As I believe has been mentioned before in this thread, there are certain women who will fight their battles a certain way b/c that certain way is the only "weapon" they have. Getting in someone's face looks too belligerent, too "male", too unsocial, so they wage the whisper campaign or tattle to the boss or gossip or whatever b/c then they can still wear their public identity/social status of "the person who is nice/the person who gets along" while they are stabbing their sharp knives into everyone's back.

I think every time I had a female friend complain about the wars they had with another female, it wasn't a problem of, "she pulled my hair". It was behavior that might be described as passive-aggressive--the enemy gets along with them in public, but sabotagoes privately.
 Dee4166
Joined: 6/16/2007
Msg: 72
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Why Are Women So Mean to Other Women?
Posted: 2/2/2015 5:02:27 AM
Well some women have grown beyond high school and I'm happy to say that I don't know ANY women like this and certainly don't have any in my Life...
Apparently there's QUITE an "epidemic" of this going on, although I was completely unaware of it...lol

To me, I am an adult, I don't sit back and watch and judge and assume ANYTHING about anyone...I ASK...

We are ALL so different that it is almost impossible to truly know another person's motivations unless we ask them...

I was actually astonished to encounter an extremely ridiculous situation with a friend of mine several years back...
She INSISTED that I end my friendship with a mutual friend because SHE had a problem with her...Couldn't even BELIEVE that a woman in her 40's would make such a ridiculous request of another adult!!!
The "issue" was nothing serious, btw.

I told her that I wasn't going to do that and she ended OUR friendship, instead....
I just look at it as she removed a problem from me that I was not too keen on dealing with and if she could THAT easily throw away a friendship of 9 years with me over that, well, that was HER choice...

I have ZERO tolerance/patience with passive/aggressive behaviour, manipulation and/or games of any kind...I don't "play" and don't expect others to do so with me, either....
 flaneur001
Joined: 7/31/2011
Msg: 73
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Why Are Women So Mean to Other Women?
Posted: 2/2/2015 7:51:18 AM
Dee, I completely agree with you. I'm 57 and can honestly say I haven't encountered this dynamic among women. I have an 18 year old step-daughter and I didn't see any of this among her group of friends either.

It's in credibly sad that SOME women have such negative experience with their own gender. As a mature adult, regardless of gender ,I try to navigate relationships based on open and clear communication.
 BLonde^j^AngeL
Joined: 1/2/2015
Msg: 74
Why Are Women So Mean to Other Women?
Posted: 2/2/2015 9:07:27 AM
I have cut back/cut out some people based on this & don't miss the, instead it has led me to newer & healthier relationships.
Why Are Women So Mean to Other Women?
Posted: 2/2/2015 1:40:24 PM
The original subject of this thread is one of the things which makes the claims of non-violence and cooperation ideals of feminism non-sensical to me (even though it's not even supposed to be about biological gender traits anyway, depending on who's (all wrong) definition of Feminism that you're talking about).
 woobytoodsday
Joined: 12/13/2006
Msg: 76
Why Are Women So Mean to Other Women?
Posted: 2/2/2015 2:12:25 PM
Lessons mothers learn at playgrounds, lol! That littles are rough and tumble and get smacked one way and another often. If it's two little boys tussling, the hurt one hollers like mad, catches his breath and gets back to play. If it's a little girl who gets hurt, there's some screeching, but play eventually is resumed. But it ain't over. It's only a matter of time until the hurter is gotten back at by the hurtee. For boys, getting hurt seems to be part of what's expected; for the girls, it's personal, and must be avenged. Often by stealth.

In my own life, teen and beyond, I think I'd have to say that the ones who've trubbled me, and there have only been a few, are those who have some issues of their own: they're not too smart, or maybe not too pretty, and in one case where she was brilliant and gorgeous, came from a very working class background, which bothered *us* not at all, but clearly bothered her. The only time I ever had trubble at work with another woman, she was just outright krezzy, of the committable variety. And eventually, she had a problem with everyone. At which point I got lotsa kudos for coping so well with her, lol!

I think there's goons and goofs of both sexes and of all ages. Stylistic differences, indeed, but total damage is about the same as far as I can see.
 trinity818
Joined: 9/1/2006
Msg: 77
Why Are Women So Mean to Other Women?
Posted: 2/2/2015 2:30:40 PM

It's incredibly sad that SOME women have such negative experience with their own gender.


It really is. I don't know how any woman could be happy without female companionship. It is an essential part of my life.

Perhaps it is driven by insecurity.
 cotter
Joined: 10/17/2005
Msg: 78
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Why Are Women So Mean to Other Women?
Posted: 2/2/2015 8:23:41 PM
Hmmmm ... I never had many female friends in high school. I spent every spare moment in the band room because that's where band and orchestra members congregated. I guess there were always more guys than gals in band and orchestra so I was surrounded in that way with more guys. Glee clubs and choirs were pretty equal, but no one I knew really made any effort to hang out in the vocal music room before or after school or during study halls like the instrumental music students.

Church groups (at the Unitarian Church) both in high school and college were also mostly men. Then there was the USO dance at the local AF Base every Tuesday night ... also mostly men there. I remember they begged the USO ladies to join in various activities ... like the "acting" club. That was really fun ... but still more men than women.

I've always gotten along pretty well with supervisors ... and don't really mind what gender they are. I didn't go to nursing school until my late 40's but I seem to always be involved in the kind of work that demands my full attention and really did not pursue free time with any of co-workers or supervisors.

I spend my free time doing things that most of my co-workers wouldn't be interested in ... and I don't tend to frequent bars. The only time I go to a bar (or club) is to sing ... not drink.

OP ... I think I may be fortunate not to have experienced what you describe. I have two sisters and three daughters so I do have female companionship ... I do have female friends at the club where I sing.

I dance (western style square and cued ballroom) and I must say the women can be somewhat competitive but I think that's mostly because there are always fewer men than women. I do not fuss with other women over men at those functions. I'm happy to get half the dances for the evening and sit around and talk to old friends ... been dancing almost 50 years.

I can't say that I've not seen women treating other women badly, but since I wasn't close to them I generally never found out what the details were. I think Trinity has a good point ... insecurity.
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