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Joined: 1/4/2010
Msg: 18
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Am I too fussy? Page 2 of 2    (1, 2)
katty is right man your face is anoying and also at bit hard to look at :(
Joined: 4/24/2012
Msg: 19
Am I too fussy?
Posted: 5/20/2012 8:45:26 AM
No, you're not being fussy at all.
You are simply noticing things on women that you find physically unappealing, so why try to work through them when there are plenty of other women to date. You are not comitted to any of them, nor do you owe it to them to change anything about what you like or don't like. Different people are attracted to different things.

BTW, a large hairy facial mole is not a "little thing", and had you seen it in one of her pictures I doubt you would have asked her out in the first place, I know I wouldn't have.

Since dating, presumably, is about finding a person who you would like getting into a relationship with down the road, why compromise so early on when you don't have to. If anything, you would only be setting a pattern of making further compromises which is not a healthy way to lead your life.

Someone will come into the picture who will eventually take your breath away, so wait for her, you'd be very disappointed if she walked by and you were in a relationship with someone else.
Joined: 2/14/2012
Msg: 20
Am I too fussy?
Posted: 5/20/2012 10:06:26 AM
no you are not fussy.Even my mother gave the advise that since my divorce, I have every right to be choosey. i or one dont want to times I even wonder if I have really gotten over my marriage(its been 3 yrs since its been over) because like you,I cant seem to get past cetain things or just plain not interested.Maybe the right person just hasnt hasnt come along.I guess only time will tell.
Joined: 4/28/2011
Msg: 21
Am I too fussy?
Posted: 5/20/2012 10:24:47 AM
There is nothing wrong with being picky... I would rather be picky than settle. I have settled before and it never works out and I believe there is that someone out there for everyone that gives you that WOW feeling. I will wait a lifetime for that WOW feeling...not that person where you are trying to make a feeling be there that is not. Never too fussy!!!! You are who you are and you want what you want!!!!! Good luck with your search!!!...

I have done the same thing... Was with this great guy who probably would have treated me like a queen but he had 2 funky front teeth. That is all I focused on... I tried to overcome because he was nice and treated me well... He would put chapstick on everytime he tried to kiss me... Ugh yuck!!! I just couldn't take it anymore and then told him the chemistry wasn't there....
Joined: 4/30/2012
Msg: 22
Am I too fussy?
Posted: 5/20/2012 1:10:22 PM
OP, no I don't think you are being shallow or too picky. I mean, people honestly cannot control who and what they are or are not attracted to. You can't help it if something turns you off, right? You can't force an attraction! It is what it is.

I went on a date once with a guy who was very attractive, but his fingernails were a bit on the longer side (he forgot to trim, I guess) and they even scratched me once, ew! LOL. Turned me off:0 It wasn't the only thing mind you, but it did factor in.

You can't help who you're attracted to or not attracted to! Someone either floats your boat, lol, or they don't. It's simple really.

This is a funny post, thanks for that.

Cheers :-)
Joined: 11/18/2011
Msg: 25
Am I too fussy?
Posted: 5/20/2012 10:28:57 PM
I'm sorry, I lol'd at this post. People are being harsh but if you can't look past a person's mole or big ol' gums then you don't need to be with them. Let them be with someone who can overlook that. Fussy? No. Shallow? Yes. But it is what it is.
Joined: 11/18/2011
Msg: 27
Am I too fussy?
Posted: 5/25/2012 2:42:24 AM
I mean, I basically don't get why other people just expect you to be attractive to someone based on personality alone. I'm sorry, but if I can't look you in the face without hiding a gag reflex, your personality won't do crap for me. I'm not all into looks, but there has to be something physically attractive about you. And if you're ugly with the personality of a brick, you can forget it. :)
Joined: 8/1/2008
Msg: 28
Am I too fussy?
Posted: 5/25/2012 7:08:58 AM
Don't lie to yourself or anyone else! If you are not attracted to someone, there is no reason to put them under false pretenses.

However, I do think you need to make a list of things you may not like, but can tolerate. You may be to haste in writing some of these people off.
Joined: 2/14/2010
Msg: 29
Am I too fussy?
Posted: 5/25/2012 7:36:45 AM
There have been countless posts about instant chemistry-knowing in a few seconds if there's any attraction. A large part of that is physical attraction-what else can you know about a person in a few seconds? Most first meets go nowhere because of it. So what you're experiencing is no different than what billions of people have gone through in the dating world.
Joined: 2/25/2010
Msg: 30
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Am I too fussy?
Posted: 5/27/2012 9:38:20 PM
There is nothing wrong with waiting for someone you are genuinely attracted to physically. If these details to you really put you off, well, so be it.

Think about it, would you want someone to be with you if they found something about you repulsive enough that it bothered them?

It may be a bit harsh but the honest answer most would say is no. Certainly is for me.
Joined: 3/30/2012
Msg: 31
Am I too fussy?
Posted: 5/27/2012 11:08:13 PM
You are attractive so why settle for someone you dont feel the chemistry or attraction with? No brainer.
What are dates that are friends only by the way??? If something about them really bugs you then you are not feeling it. Move on.
Joined: 8/12/2010
Msg: 33
Am I too fussy?
Posted: 5/29/2012 10:43:18 AM
If the trait you find, makes it so you dont want to kiss them...then you have to let them go find someone who will want to kiss them. That is the bottom line in all of this. Some call it shallow, some call it fussy...but I dont know any man who would want a woman who didnt actaully want him in return..and vice versa.
Joined: 3/23/2012
Msg: 35
Am I too fussy?
Posted: 5/29/2012 11:15:42 AM
There have been other threads of the same ilk where the concentration has been on weight or body size and can people look past it. Overwhelmingly, people say "you like what you like and there isn't much helping that." I'll just say it's very interesting "hairy moles" and "gummy gums" are on another level altogether by the responses here. So THAT is acceptable, but weight is something people feel entitled to make judgements on? I think you hit a nerve with everyone with a mole somewhere. I think people are full of it with their responses saying you must accept hairy moles lest you be deemed shallow. Whatever.
Joined: 8/12/2010
Msg: 37
Am I too fussy?
Posted: 5/29/2012 12:33:47 PM

So what happens when looks fade guys? Oh wait i doubt most men or women think about that

Bonds get formed over time. I have seen olderly couples who still see one another as they were when they first met. BUT it started with attraction in the early days of thier relationship.
Joined: 11/14/2011
Msg: 38
Am I too fussy?
Posted: 5/29/2012 1:03:03 PM
I never go on a date without a "hide a mole patch" and a clothes pin. Just ask the girl if she minds you sticking the patch to her mole while you get use to her. If she objects tell her that when she removes the patch it will serve a another good purpose of taking the mole hair with it.
If it's a gumby then just ask her to put the clothes pin on her lips and mumble side mouth style.
Joined: 4/22/2012
Msg: 40
Am I too fussy?
Posted: 5/31/2012 8:40:11 PM
i would guess you will get a lot of too fussy from females in here. I believe it is simply a matter of some men having more than one expectation now. and as such, it is leading to a wall between the genders. it seems perfectly acceptable for females to have expectations and template men to those. for example, women, in general, believe and have stated, "i'm not emailing a man. if they want me they can make the effort.". and this is still females of all ages. just consider for a moment if all men started behaving the same. so, i, maybe as you, do not waste time trying to move my expectations aside in order to continue with a relationship. as my female friends also do. i suppose it depends also on your timeline. do you have the time to go through three years with someone, only to finally leave over the very thing you knew from the start?

happy was and best wishes.
Joined: 6/14/2012
Msg: 41
Am I too fussy?
Posted: 6/27/2012 10:38:04 PM
Maybe... I'd need more specifics. Kind of sounds like you could pick someone apart with the little things. Kind of reminds me of the guy in the movie "Shallow Hal" who stopped dating an incredibly hot woman because her second toe was longer than her first toe.
Joined: 2/10/2007
Msg: 42
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Am I too fussy?
Posted: 6/27/2012 11:19:57 PM
Gums? A Mole?

Yah, that's probably starting to get too fussy.
Joined: 6/23/2012
Msg: 43
Am I too fussy?
Posted: 6/28/2012 7:20:47 PM
You can get passed all of that stuff.
Yeah, you sort of are.
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