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 starofgaia
Joined: 4/11/2012
Msg: 30
Completely baffled by this....Page 2 of 3    (1, 2, 3)
Wow - SIX dates and you believed you deserved to enter her vagina? How did you earn her trust? I find it appalling that people expect to get laid within the first week of dating, as if you expected her willingness to contract a disease for a meaningless sexual interlude.
 kja71
Joined: 12/21/2011
Msg: 34
Completely baffled by this....
Posted: 5/22/2012 3:58:26 AM
She wanted you to stay and you didn't. I think that she was probably ready, and just didn't want to come right out and say it. The fact that you went home might have hurt her feelings. I would try and exxplain the situation to her and see what happens.
 Juslookin01182
Joined: 11/18/2011
Msg: 35
Completely baffled by this....
Posted: 5/25/2012 2:37:56 AM

Her saying that you could stay the night without sex is her way of seeing if you wanted to just have sex with her. You need to learn how to read women. I bet if she said I am ready, but I want you to stay the night and hold me you would of stayed the night. You just made yourself look like a dog in her book.


This. Exactly this. She wanted to see if you thought she was worth staying for, even though you knew you weren't going to have sex. She was testing you. You failed. Good luck!!
 Lionesse19
Joined: 3/30/2012
Msg: 36
Completely baffled by this....
Posted: 5/25/2012 3:41:27 AM
I agree with posters here. She was testing you to see if you would stay regardless of whether sex was on the menu or not. You failed the test. She was obviously hoping for a relationship and didnt want to get too intimate too soon in case you bailed.
 VacationGuy234
Joined: 8/1/2008
Msg: 37
Completely baffled by this....
Posted: 5/25/2012 8:39:54 AM
Dude, it's against the rules to withhold sex from a woman. This is just one of many double standards you will get to know as you again fall back into the dating pool.

Agree: test failed.
Agree: You missed the moment.

As Jack Sparrow would say: "If you were waiting for the opportune moment, that was it."

Or better yet:
As Dr. Peter Venkman would say: "Next time she ask you if your a God.. You say, YES! "

I just love those quotes.
 neck romancer
Joined: 9/7/2006
Msg: 38
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Completely baffled by this....
Posted: 5/25/2012 9:22:07 AM
oh dude that sux! But if she is that oversensitive.. than I would say you dodged a bullet here. Would you really want to deal with someone like that in the long run? NAH!
 carolann0308
Joined: 12/9/2006
Msg: 39
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Completely baffled by this....
Posted: 5/25/2012 9:45:55 AM
She nonchalantly offered that I could stay but I just didn't see the point, plus I had something going on this morning.


Sounds like you missed your shot at getting intimate.
Personally, I don't get into any stage of undress with a man I am not interested in, so I am not sure where her head is at, but "You can stay the night" is a pretty big hint that she was expecting you to stay.
 suggieisthebest
Joined: 5/29/2011
Msg: 40
Completely baffled by this....
Posted: 5/25/2012 10:44:57 AM
COMMUNICATION, COMMUNICATION AND COMMUNICATION. Ask questions we can not read peoples minds. LOL
 pescando75
Joined: 3/23/2012
Msg: 41
Completely baffled by this....
Posted: 5/25/2012 1:00:24 PM

Wow - SIX dates and you believed you deserved to enter her vagina? How did you earn her trust? I find it appalling that people expect to get laid within the first week of dating, as if you expected her willingness to contract a disease for a meaningless sexual interlude.


Puh-leeze. He has no vagina entitlement going on. He left. Voluntarily. Without pushing for more.
His only error was not recognizing after three+ weeks and six dates that "this is it." That's it. You can see how the subtlety could have been lost on him. It wasn't a week. It was three. And he was patient and respectful. He got a freaking TEXT for his efforts. THAT is offensive.

Starofgaia, it would seem you failed the "test" to recognized someone who WAS being patient and respectful and DIDN'T just want sex. But still, the accusations fly. Nice. Be sure to send a text. (Rolling my eyes.)
 Moonchild51
Joined: 3/11/2007
Msg: 42
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Completely baffled by this....
Posted: 5/25/2012 1:24:17 PM
Sorry but I am thinking Landra has something here. You seem like a nice enough guy. Maybe she was thinking same but didn't have that "hot to trott" spark so to speak. Therefore, thought she would put in some time with you to see if getting to know you better would change that factor. For her, obviously it didn't. And in your most recent post you mention she can't explain it, it's her and not you? That is the old buzz off line, putting the blame on her to make you feel better about it. Sucks for sure that she couldn't be up front and direct with you about her feelings or the lack thereof but it happens
 DoubleParked
Joined: 10/22/2008
Msg: 43
Completely baffled by this....
Posted: 5/25/2012 2:38:53 PM

We've had what I thought were some great dates together, and she has said several times that 'this is nice' and 'I'm very comfortable with you'.

OP, if a woman wants you sexually, she will not be thinking 'nice and comfortable'. She will be squirming and feeling very UN comfortable until she touches you and you touch her in very specific ways.

You missed her signals and she was right in telling you'something wasn't right'. You are not compatible. Keep looking, keep learning, you sound like a good guy.
 MementoMori32
Joined: 9/12/2011
Msg: 44
Completely baffled by this....
Posted: 5/26/2012 6:03:53 PM
She's playing games. Like some other posters have mentioned, she was probably testing you to see if youd stay the night without having sex with her. If you had already been out with her 6 times and never really pushed the issue I don't know why she'd play games like this with you. I also agree that at least explaining her reasons would have been considerate. Better luck next time my friend.
 kountryedge
Joined: 4/14/2012
Msg: 45
Completely baffled by this....
Posted: 5/26/2012 8:30:40 PM
Here was my first irk that I found in your post:

(I left at 2am, thinking if she's not ready for sex, it would be inappropriate to spend the night. She nonchalantly offered that I could stay but I just didn't see the point)

It sounds like she is not worth staying with, to spoon or cuddle unless there was sex involved.
She MAY have thought it being that you were only interested if she put out.

Just a thought... It's how I see it, just by reading your post.
 adora71
Joined: 2/8/2010
Msg: 46
Completely baffled by this....
Posted: 5/27/2012 1:11:03 AM
The text message was definitely bad form.

I think there were a whole lot of underlying emotions. Women often hate to be rejected, especially in the early stages. And, on some level, leaving after having been invited to stay, is a rejection. I hear you saying that you weren't just after sex and really liked her and I totally believe you, but you made a decision to drive home at 2 am when you could just as easily have stayed.

My guess is that the reason that she didn't react immediately was that she was trying to get a hold of her own feelings around the situation. By the morning, she realized that she couldn't deal with it (the perceived rejection, I mean). If you think it is worth another shot, meet her and tell her that you really like her and that you are sorry if you hurt her by leaving that night.

But, if I were you, I would just leave it alone and move on. When she felt hurt and rejected, she abandoned the whole thing with a text. Who is to say it wouldn't happen again?
 Lionesse19
Joined: 3/30/2012
Msg: 47
Completely baffled by this....
Posted: 5/27/2012 5:13:16 AM
I agree with Naturemaid. Perhaps she had decided to friendzone you after all. She was waiting for the sexual feelings to kick in and they perhaps didnt really. She changed her mind about it all and could see as time passed that the chemistry was not really there although she liked you, it was not enough. We cant really know and are only hearing one side, after all. It was only three weeks and she gave it six dates to give it a chance to grow but perhaps it just didnt.
 deere_rancher
Joined: 4/4/2012
Msg: 48
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Completely baffled by this....
Posted: 5/27/2012 6:27:46 AM
OP I agree with this ;


Is it possible that her invitation to stay was her way of saying she was ready, and then when you left, she took it that you were no longer interested ? Perhaps she was hurt at the brush off ?


but this post reminded me of the difference in mindsets .. your 38 and waiting until she's ready
at 53 ,..if she's not ready ... you make her ready !!
 ArticLife
Joined: 2/25/2010
Msg: 50
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Completely baffled by this....
Posted: 5/27/2012 9:28:29 PM
Perhaps I am crazy, but perhaps you should simply text her back asking if there was something specific that you did that turned her off. Also, be sure to mention that this isn't some insecure attempt to win her back, but merely to make sure you don't repeat and critical mistakes in the future.

That's the only way you'll know for sure.
 ArticLife
Joined: 2/25/2010
Msg: 52
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Completely baffled by this....
Posted: 5/27/2012 10:41:29 PM
Sorry, I did not read the entire thread prior to posting. I didn't know you already asked that. What did she respond with, if she responded at all?
 greenIsis777
Joined: 3/14/2012
Msg: 54
Completely baffled by this....
Posted: 6/1/2012 1:39:47 AM
yeah, it sounds like she gave you an opening there. women can be subtle about that. and since you didn't catch the hint, she is hurt and leaving you before she gets hurt more. not being ready for sex is not code for anything. If a woman is not into you she won't spend time with you
 tcutie4u
Joined: 5/24/2011
Msg: 55
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Completely baffled by this....
Posted: 6/1/2012 1:40:09 PM
I don't understand. If he tried to have sex with her and she stopped it, why would she then think she wasn't good for him when he respected her wishes?
And it sound like they spent considerable amount of time together (six dates in three weeks), indication that he was trying to have a relationship with her.
Maybe he didn't read the signs but in my opinion that sounds a bit immature (playing games) and/or maybe she wasn't looking for a long term relationship but a fwb. Either way, sounds like he's better off.
 pescando75
Joined: 3/23/2012
Msg: 56
Completely baffled by this....
Posted: 6/1/2012 2:04:25 PM
"Bring your toothbrush but no sex."
How much more mixed could her signals have been? Good grief. She's confused and who knows how long that game would need to last. Better off without. It sucks to show genuine interest and get games like that in return.
I doubt she know what she wanted, and was leaving it up to you to decide. The start of a beautiful co-dependent relationship. LOL!
 acewolf
Joined: 4/22/2008
Msg: 57
Completely baffled by this....
Posted: 6/3/2012 1:45:29 PM
Let's see, have I got this right? A woman is not acting logically, is basing her decisions on emotions, changing her mind, hard to figure out, and something a man did was wrong, that he doesn't know about, and she didn't tell him??? I think the biggest mystery is why anyone is A. trying to figute out a woman's thinking, and B. amazed that this woman is acting exactly like women have acted since the dawn of history. If you want to shake things up.... tell someone your girlfriend is not acting like this, NOW that would be noteworthy.
 SweetLilGTP
Joined: 10/22/2010
Msg: 59
Completely baffled by this....
Posted: 6/3/2012 7:01:31 PM
Is it possible that her invitation to stay was her way of saying she was ready, and then when you left, she took it that you were no longer interested ? Perhaps she was hurt at the brush off ?


Lmao; she dropped you because you wouldnt put out; when she hinted "she" was ready to screw.

Here I thought I saw everything.....


And she then called the last "bad boy" she had on her phone list for the wild crazy monkey sex that you coulda had...


Aint it somethin.....

The good news is that you're STD free

so she went ahead and assumed the worst about your assumptions


WWow.

That takes the asssumption thing to a whole new level

do you see how that works


Gimme a sec; I just need to grab a third calculator, and a protractor.

Her saying that you could stay the night without sex is her way of seeing if you wanted to just have sex with her


That may be the answer I would vote for

Never mind that you had things to do the next day, and spend alot of time with her. In her mind; this test she put forward took precedence over every other sentiment and action you have ever had together.

Lol; that sucks mate, sorry to hear about that.


You wanted sex and if you didn't get it, you just didn't see the point of hanging out


Even though you respected her wishes and hung out multiple times.

I think it makes sense, if you use 12 calculators, three protractors, and an abacus.

I couldnt find an abacus
 SweetLilGTP
Joined: 10/22/2010
Msg: 60
Completely baffled by this....
Posted: 6/3/2012 7:07:27 PM
Let's see, have I got this right? A woman is not acting logically, is basing her decisions on emotions, changing her mind, hard to figure out, and something a man did was wrong, that he doesn't know about, and she didn't tell him???


Lmao.

ooof

Mancard........for life.
 Lionesse19
Joined: 3/30/2012
Msg: 61
Completely baffled by this....
Posted: 6/3/2012 9:00:12 PM
She is not feeling the attraction or the chemistry. Perhaps doesnt want to be vulnerable and is wary, naturally. Afraid of being hurt, who knows? If you both had wanted sex, it would have happened.

If you are all that you say you are, then you wont have trouble finding dates in real life as well as here. Her radar is telling her not to continue and you have to respect that. If you continue with online dating you will encounter all types along the way and need to be philosophical and have a thick skin. Good luck.
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