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 DeerTaint
Joined: 4/3/2012
Msg: 26
My latest dating experience (was I wrong?) Page 2 of 4    (1, 2, 3, 4)
I have a feeling that the OP wasn't all that calm when he finally got in contact with his date. He probably pouted as he is doing in this thread and his date in turn told him what she did. Demanding someone do something when it doesn't go your way is no way to make friends.
 fillyphilly
Joined: 5/12/2012
Msg: 27
My latest dating experience (was I wrong?)
Posted: 5/21/2012 12:45:15 PM
Congratulations you won the battle but lost the war. Now you're alone again with your self-righteousness to keep you warm at night.
Carry on.
 Blackout478
Joined: 5/1/2011
Msg: 28
My latest dating experience (was I wrong?)
Posted: 5/21/2012 1:05:18 PM
Okay, so you wait a few days to call her and she waits a few days to answer...To me that sounds pretty fair. She didn't grill you about why you took so long to call her. you didn't owe her nothing like doesn't owe you.
 jmark4
Joined: 7/3/2011
Msg: 29
My latest dating experience (was I wrong?)
Posted: 5/21/2012 1:30:35 PM
first of all I would have called her the next day or texted and say I had a nice time and have a great day. Nothing big.

I know people love to play games and go by "dating rules" but I think they are bunk. there are no dating rules. I dont like games; I just act the way I feel is appropriate.

Why are you mad? She sounds like a selfish person who isn't very classy or nice, and you sound like a jealous boyfriend. And she is right; she doesn't owe you anything. She may be disrespectful but that's her. She may have even been playing a game punishing you for not calling.

Yes she's playing the field and dating other guys. I'd move on and not worry about it in the least. All these games.
 Tryns
Joined: 5/2/2011
Msg: 30
My latest dating experience (was I wrong?)
Posted: 5/21/2012 1:42:58 PM
Good lord some of you people are harsh.

Eh, my perspective you probably should have called her earlier. Or she could have called you earlier as well. Either way I don't think you were wrong necessarily.

Honestly if I have good chemistry with someone and enjoyed going out with them I would probably have called/texted the next day.
 pete745
Joined: 5/9/2012
Msg: 31
My latest dating experience (was I wrong?)
Posted: 5/21/2012 1:46:13 PM
I will move on. No big deal. Appreciate the responses.
 GuitarHero68
Joined: 6/15/2011
Msg: 32
view profile
History
My latest dating experience (was I wrong?)
Posted: 5/21/2012 4:29:03 PM
No girl gets more than two unreturned phone calls, because you lose a testicle with each one.
Your Man Card is hereby invalidated.
 pescando75
Joined: 3/23/2012
Msg: 33
My latest dating experience (was I wrong?)
Posted: 5/21/2012 6:58:57 PM
Stop placing so much damn value on text messages. "How was your day?" is over-used and coma-inducing.
These are the equivalents of "Hallmark Moments" in the dating world. We've been conditioned that we must send text or call within _____ timeframe, just as there is a card for every occasion.

Did he text because he really means it, or is he just being socially polite? How complicated do you want to make your own neurosis? Put the phone down and LIVE people. lol! ;o)

And nobody respects anyone they suspect of sitting by the phone and pouting.
 thepigofyourdreams
Joined: 2/23/2012
Msg: 34
My latest dating experience (was I wrong?)
Posted: 5/21/2012 7:02:51 PM
You waited "a few dates" for a kiss?
 Lionesse19
Joined: 3/30/2012
Msg: 35
My latest dating experience (was I wrong?)
Posted: 5/21/2012 7:10:35 PM
She is playing the field and doesnt owe you anything, she is right. Was she sober when with you? Maybe not. It is over now, so you did not do the right thing in her eyes. She felt pressured. If she was interested she would have made an effort to call you back. Learn a lesson and next time dont pressure a girl to respond when you feel she should and then break it off because she doesnt fit your agenda. That that is your loss I guess. She is in another bar, picking up another guy to have fun with. Do the same. If you liked her, then others surely do and so it goes.
 RD2112
Joined: 8/7/2010
Msg: 36
My latest dating experience (was I wrong?)
Posted: 5/21/2012 7:27:13 PM
(quotation marks)
Right or wrong doesn't matter, you behaved immaturely. The best approach after leaving a message is to wait to hear back. If you never hear back, you can either try again or move on.

Whatever you decide to do, getting mad solves nothing. It just puts people on the defensive and closes down any chance for an amicable resolution.
(quotation marks)

Acted immaturely??? Thats your opinion but not for the majority of people. He deserves an answer to why she didnt return his calls. She should have let him know her intentions. If nobody had to answer for their actions then we might as well throw out the words court, sue, punish, right, wrong, jerk, cheater etc.etc.

If he went on a verbal rampage first then that would be immature. If he wanted her to muster an answer, thats just FAIR. MAybe being called out like this will make her realize feel guilty one day and she will stop. If not then she will continue acting a fool and one day the wrong guy will be done this way and she might get hurt. So he actually did her a favor.
 RD2112
Joined: 8/7/2010
Msg: 37
My latest dating experience (was I wrong?)
Posted: 5/21/2012 7:37:14 PM
""
Congratulations you won the battle but lost the war. Now you're alone again with your self-righteousness to keep you warm at night.Carry on.

That wasn't a low blow...it sounds like she is guilty of doing this herself.

He was going to be alone anyways. If she did come back around it was just to sleep with him and use him. She is obviously a user and maybe a slut too idk. She did him wrong and she should have to at least tell him the truth. If anyone thinks that is unfair then how the heck do they ever think they are going to have a meaning relationship with anyone?

I went out with a girl that i met online. She stayed on her phone texting n talking. That was totally rude and it was my only night for 2 months I had free. I called her the next day and asked if she was dating multiple men and she turned viscious on me. She said it was none of my business and that she could date whoever she wanted to date and whenever. I said that she was right and I wasn't telling her what so could(n't) do. I just told her that I couldn't date her. She couldn't answer the question directly but the answer i got none the less.
 hotmerlot
Joined: 2/25/2012
Msg: 38
My latest dating experience (was I wrong?)
Posted: 5/21/2012 8:34:26 PM
It's a red flag for someone to get angry that early in the dating game.
 d2327h
Joined: 2/23/2012
Msg: 39
My latest dating experience (was I wrong?)
Posted: 5/21/2012 9:53:22 PM
My guess is she was upset that you took so long to call her and that gave her the impression you weren't all that interested in her and so she moved on.
 rockondon
Joined: 2/21/2007
Msg: 40
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History
My latest dating experience (was I wrong?)
Posted: 5/22/2012 12:41:30 AM
I had an outstanding date once with what seemed like a terrific woman. Smart, pretty, funny, and filled with enthusiasm after meeting me and excitedly telling me what we would do and talk about on our next date and how she couldn't wait for it. We had tons in common and the chemistry was amazing. The steamy look in her eyes seemed to look right through me and into my soul.

We never got to have that date because she stopped taking my calls.

It was a painful and surprising blow that rocked me to the core. I figured she found someone she liked better. But I don't begrudge her for it, I don't make threads about it in the hopes of recognition and sympathy, I shrugged my shoulders, wished her the best, and moved on.
 tuxqueot
Joined: 3/23/2012
Msg: 41
My latest dating experience (was I wrong?)
Posted: 5/22/2012 4:23:10 AM

No girl gets more than two unreturned phone calls, because you lose a testicle with each one.
Your Man Card is hereby invalidated.


Ok, I'm a 41 year old Caucasian American male. I consider myself a man.

Yet time and time again I see posts here on these forums where a guy does something that I would tend to agree with and someone posts that "his man card is hereby revoked" or "a real man would have done this instead" or "you're not a man if you did that"".

To me, a man is someone who does the right thing, no matter how hard it is. One who works hard to provide for his family. To take care of his kids (even if they are biologically not his). Who takes time and effort to be attentive and loving towards the woman in his life, Who is willing to let the woman make decisions and follow them. Who can take control of a situation when required but can go with the flow most of the time when intervention is not needed nor condusive to harmonious life. (in other words, doesn't rock the boat. If it aint broke, don't fix it.)

Why does it make me less of a man to say how far and how fast a relationship develops is her call?
Why does it make me less of a man to call a woman more than once to express how I would like to see her again?
How am I less of a man if I don't just pick up a woman and say this is what were going to do and you just have to like it?
And am I somehow less of a man for actually *gasp* caring what a woman thinks or how she feels? (oh no, say it aint so)

Is this a generational thing, a cultural thing, or am I the worlds biggest pusssy??
 Paderic
Joined: 2/23/2010
Msg: 42
My latest dating experience (was I wrong?)
Posted: 5/22/2012 5:36:42 AM
Acted immaturely??? Thats your opinion but not for the majority of people. He deserves an answer to why she didnt return his calls. She should have let him know her intentions. If nobody had to answer for their actions then we might as well throw out the words court, sue, punish, right, wrong, jerk, cheater etc.etc.


I don't see the majority lining up behind you here.

Getting frustrated that someone you just started dating doesn't respond fast enough to suit you is immature. It's a very teenage response. Grown ups understand that losing their temper and demanding someone's immediate attention after they've only been on two dates will only drive the other person away.

There's an old saying, "You catch more flies with sugar than you do with vinegar."


MAybe being called out like this will make her realize feel guilty one day and she will stop.


Not likely. I'm willing to bet she'll remember this guy as a clingy wuss or a control freak and the type she needs to be more careful to avoid in the future.

Angrily "calling someone out" rarely convinces them of the point you're trying to drive home, the only thing they tend to notice is that you have anger issues.
 xshizzera
Joined: 3/23/2012
Msg: 43
My latest dating experience (was I wrong?)
Posted: 5/22/2012 5:43:52 AM
Well.. i think she was kind of rude, and i kinda understand you, i have read some of the other comments saying she was right, but i guess she wasn't, if I'm looking for a long term, i dont wanna go out someone who is just looking to date, if we have gone out for more than 2 dates means something good will come out, here are so many people who just wants to be dating in circles, how come if I'm looking for a relationship i will be dating more than one at a time?? isn't the point to get a relationship, how can i get to know someone for a relationship if I'm dating more than one??

I guess those who are not taking this seriously and just wants to be dating several guys/ girls at a time are just a waist of time.

And yes, sometimes u have to stop calling and texting to see if that person is also interested in you as well, but after a few unanswered text and phone calls, i just walk away....
 pete745
Joined: 5/9/2012
Msg: 44
My latest dating experience (was I wrong?)
Posted: 5/22/2012 6:36:42 AM
Thanks guys. I decided to do the right thing and apologize. I bought her a cute little card, wrote from the heart, and dropped it off. She called later and told me how much it meant and that we could still keep it going.

Before work this morning I drove back over and egged her car. That'll teach the rude little tramp...
 ShamyrL
Joined: 3/24/2012
Msg: 45
My latest dating experience (was I wrong?)
Posted: 5/22/2012 6:38:11 AM
I think you were right OP. It doesn't take two or three days for someone to return a call. And for all the people who are saying SHE was right, they would be just as upset as you were if they had been in your position. The only difference is they would hide the fact that they were upset. I do however think you should have called her the next day instead of waiting several days. But if she had an issue with you waiting a while to call her and decided she waned to give you a "dose of your own medicine" that just proves she was probably immature.

Honestly its best to keep your options open OP until you are absolutely sure that two of you are exclusive.
 pete745
Joined: 5/9/2012
Msg: 46
My latest dating experience (was I wrong?)
Posted: 5/22/2012 6:57:20 AM
I forgot that I actually did call her the next night, it just slipped my mind because it was a short conversation, although nobody will probly believe me at this point. Thats fine, I realize where I went wrong here. I'll find another tramp. Wont take long, they're everywhere.
 Fleuron
Joined: 8/18/2010
Msg: 47
My latest dating experience (was I wrong?)
Posted: 5/22/2012 8:10:25 AM

I'll find another tramp. Wont take long, they're everywhere.


With that attitude, that’s exactly what will happen.

I believe you. But I don’t think that matters anyway, now that it’s all over. Maybe try not to invest too much emotional energy in someone before you’ve spent more time together.

You are way too angry over someone you only dated a couple times, and judge too harshly with little to no evidence. She didn’t answer your calls and sounded like she was in a bar, and now she’s a tramp?

Consider that you’re doing the damage to yourself. Don’t give yourself up so easily. : )
 nycblonde728
Joined: 1/29/2012
Msg: 48
My latest dating experience (was I wrong?)
Posted: 5/22/2012 8:35:49 AM
The debate isn't whether she took too long to call (I agree, I don't think it's all that nice to wait a few days to call back). The point is he can't throw a temper tantrum about it, when he waited the exact same number of days to call her in the first place.

He can wait three days to call her, but if she waits three days to call him back (after he calls her every day she doesn't call him.) she must be up to no good. My main guess was and still is; she was planning to return his call the next day- but when he started calling again and again, she took a step back to think about it.
Again, that could be the furthest scenario from the truth. She could of had a dead phone for those days. Who knows the real reason.

A guy who can't wait a day for a call back is far from appealing. Especially one who blows up at you when you decide to answer his fourth call in three days.
There was no mention if the OP texted her as well. The way things operate with many people these days, I'm going to venture another guess and say he sent her text messages too.


If this was a relationship, and his girlfriend inexplicably ignored his calls for three days and was at a bar when she did answer- yeah, that's pretty questionable. I would be a little upset about it if she didn't have a good reason.
But a girl you went out with a couple of dates with, did the same thing to, have no proof of your assumptions (none that you told us anyway), and then flipping out on- I can't see how this was in any way a reasonable way to behave.

I can't tell if you're trolling with the egging of the car and tramp comments. If you're not, you should seriously keep your anger issues in check. That's a bit scary.
 pete745
Joined: 5/9/2012
Msg: 49
My latest dating experience (was I wrong?)
Posted: 5/22/2012 10:26:17 AM

But a girl you went out with a couple of dates with, did the same thing to, have no proof of your assumptions (none that you told us anyway), and then flipping out on- I can't see how this was in any way a reasonable way to behave.


Behaving that way was the only choice she left me. I need no proof of assumptions, as it is only natural for women to be skeezing and conniving unless otherwise stating they are doing something else (she didnt)
 forums1
Joined: 2/14/2010
Msg: 50
My latest dating experience (was I wrong?)
Posted: 5/22/2012 1:29:49 PM

I need no proof of assumptions, as it is only natural for women to be skeezing and conniving unless otherwise stating they are doing something else (she didnt)


I wish you luck *ever* finding a real relationship with that attitude.
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