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 pete745
Joined: 5/9/2012
Msg: 44
My latest dating experience (was I wrong?) Page 3 of 4    (1, 2, 3, 4)
Thanks guys. I decided to do the right thing and apologize. I bought her a cute little card, wrote from the heart, and dropped it off. She called later and told me how much it meant and that we could still keep it going.

Before work this morning I drove back over and egged her car. That'll teach the rude little tramp...
 ShamyrL
Joined: 3/24/2012
Msg: 45
My latest dating experience (was I wrong?)
Posted: 5/22/2012 6:38:11 AM
I think you were right OP. It doesn't take two or three days for someone to return a call. And for all the people who are saying SHE was right, they would be just as upset as you were if they had been in your position. The only difference is they would hide the fact that they were upset. I do however think you should have called her the next day instead of waiting several days. But if she had an issue with you waiting a while to call her and decided she waned to give you a "dose of your own medicine" that just proves she was probably immature.

Honestly its best to keep your options open OP until you are absolutely sure that two of you are exclusive.
 pete745
Joined: 5/9/2012
Msg: 46
My latest dating experience (was I wrong?)
Posted: 5/22/2012 6:57:20 AM
I forgot that I actually did call her the next night, it just slipped my mind because it was a short conversation, although nobody will probly believe me at this point. Thats fine, I realize where I went wrong here. I'll find another tramp. Wont take long, they're everywhere.
 Fleuron
Joined: 8/18/2010
Msg: 47
My latest dating experience (was I wrong?)
Posted: 5/22/2012 8:10:25 AM

I'll find another tramp. Wont take long, they're everywhere.


With that attitude, that’s exactly what will happen.

I believe you. But I don’t think that matters anyway, now that it’s all over. Maybe try not to invest too much emotional energy in someone before you’ve spent more time together.

You are way too angry over someone you only dated a couple times, and judge too harshly with little to no evidence. She didn’t answer your calls and sounded like she was in a bar, and now she’s a tramp?

Consider that you’re doing the damage to yourself. Don’t give yourself up so easily. : )
 nycblonde728
Joined: 1/29/2012
Msg: 48
My latest dating experience (was I wrong?)
Posted: 5/22/2012 8:35:49 AM
The debate isn't whether she took too long to call (I agree, I don't think it's all that nice to wait a few days to call back). The point is he can't throw a temper tantrum about it, when he waited the exact same number of days to call her in the first place.

He can wait three days to call her, but if she waits three days to call him back (after he calls her every day she doesn't call him.) she must be up to no good. My main guess was and still is; she was planning to return his call the next day- but when he started calling again and again, she took a step back to think about it.
Again, that could be the furthest scenario from the truth. She could of had a dead phone for those days. Who knows the real reason.

A guy who can't wait a day for a call back is far from appealing. Especially one who blows up at you when you decide to answer his fourth call in three days.
There was no mention if the OP texted her as well. The way things operate with many people these days, I'm going to venture another guess and say he sent her text messages too.


If this was a relationship, and his girlfriend inexplicably ignored his calls for three days and was at a bar when she did answer- yeah, that's pretty questionable. I would be a little upset about it if she didn't have a good reason.
But a girl you went out with a couple of dates with, did the same thing to, have no proof of your assumptions (none that you told us anyway), and then flipping out on- I can't see how this was in any way a reasonable way to behave.

I can't tell if you're trolling with the egging of the car and tramp comments. If you're not, you should seriously keep your anger issues in check. That's a bit scary.
 pete745
Joined: 5/9/2012
Msg: 49
My latest dating experience (was I wrong?)
Posted: 5/22/2012 10:26:17 AM

But a girl you went out with a couple of dates with, did the same thing to, have no proof of your assumptions (none that you told us anyway), and then flipping out on- I can't see how this was in any way a reasonable way to behave.


Behaving that way was the only choice she left me. I need no proof of assumptions, as it is only natural for women to be skeezing and conniving unless otherwise stating they are doing something else (she didnt)
 forums1
Joined: 2/14/2010
Msg: 50
My latest dating experience (was I wrong?)
Posted: 5/22/2012 1:29:49 PM

I need no proof of assumptions, as it is only natural for women to be skeezing and conniving unless otherwise stating they are doing something else (she didnt)


I wish you luck *ever* finding a real relationship with that attitude.
 fillyphilly
Joined: 5/12/2012
Msg: 51
My latest dating experience (was I wrong?)
Posted: 5/22/2012 2:40:38 PM

I need no proof of assumptions, as it is only natural for women to be skeezing and conniving unless otherwise stating they are doing something else (she didnt)

Wow, she dodged a bullet getting away from you. You also called women tramps. You sound like a sexual batterer, "but officer, the tramp deserved it." You can crawl back under your rock now.
 Fleuron
Joined: 8/18/2010
Msg: 52
My latest dating experience (was I wrong?)
Posted: 5/22/2012 2:52:33 PM

I need no proof of assumptions, as it is only natural for women to be skeezing and conniving unless otherwise stating they are doing something else (she didnt)


Wow, all that just because she didn’t call you back by the time you decided she should.

Obviously she knew exactly what she was doing.
 DameWrite
Joined: 2/27/2010
Msg: 53
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My latest dating experience (was I wrong?)
Posted: 5/22/2012 3:02:32 PM
Count your blessings, she's a biatch or a drunk or who knows? There are kinder fish in the sea.

Don't let this one spoil it for you.

edit: Don't stoop to being a jerk though, just read the rest of your posts.
 fillyphilly
Joined: 5/12/2012
Msg: 54
My latest dating experience (was I wrong?)
Posted: 5/22/2012 3:07:05 PM

Before work this morning I drove back over and egged her car. That'll teach the rude little tramp...

So you are a criminal. I hope someone reading this can identify you before you do anything more dangerous. And at this point I think your rock is a lot safer than where you're headed. No wonder women don't date from this site.
 Big_fun_wave
Joined: 2/28/2009
Msg: 55
My latest dating experience (was I wrong?)
Posted: 5/22/2012 3:55:56 PM
So did I do the right thing by ending it, or was I out of line for expecting her to return some calls after a few days?

I would say you did the right thing for sure. And imo, she lied to you about how she felt the date or dates couldn't have gone any better. If she was being that flirty (like you described), she was probably wanting and hoping for much more to happen... she was probably wanting you to try and get her in bed. About the car egging, you wasted eggs that could have fed starving people!
 Gertrude13
Joined: 5/14/2012
Msg: 56
My latest dating experience (was I wrong?)
Posted: 5/22/2012 4:01:34 PM
OP - of course you did the right thing ending it. If you're already irritated with her behavior after a few dates, it's possible that the irritation would grow quickly with more contact...

However. I've never told a guy to call me after a date, but if I did, and he waited 3 days to do so, I'd assume that either 1) he's just not that into me. Or 2) he's playing games. Either way, I'd likely move on, no harm no foul. If he then called me to yell at me for not returning his long-awaited call, I'd likely figure the latter possibility was correct and become irritated myself.

Maybe she took off because of trust issues or something else, but it might not be a bad idea to rethink the "waiting period" rule...
 RedDelPaPa
Joined: 5/21/2011
Msg: 57
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My latest dating experience (was I wrong?)
Posted: 5/22/2012 4:45:11 PM
Op, you lost. And the other guy(s) she has comparable interest in who didn't lose their cool by her same treatment, won.

Dating rules to live by
#1 Before sex, no good deed goes unpunished.
If you gift, compliment, put your own life on hold for her, or otherwise kiss a woman's azz before you've copulated with her, she will identify you as weak and needy and will discard you.

#2 NEVER get heavier(emotional) than her.
If you express emotions and feelings towards a woman before she expresses hers to you, she will identify you as weak and discard you.

Class dismissed. Good luck next time around.
 thepigofyourdreams
Joined: 2/23/2012
Msg: 58
My latest dating experience (was I wrong?)
Posted: 5/22/2012 4:51:41 PM

Before work this morning I drove back over and egged her car. That'll teach the rude little tramp...


Dude. I'm not saying I'm above egging someone's car, but I think the punishment needs to fit the crime. In this case, not returning a phone call is no crime.

If you would egg a chick's car for not returning your call, I'd hate to think of what you would do over something of a greater magnitude.
 krazykurlz
Joined: 1/12/2012
Msg: 59
My latest dating experience (was I wrong?)
Posted: 5/22/2012 5:35:14 PM
OP sounds like a misogynistic headcase. She dodged a bullet.
 ReeseLondon
Joined: 5/10/2012
Msg: 60
My latest dating experience (was I wrong?)
Posted: 5/22/2012 8:44:21 PM
You don't know that she was definitely hooking up with other guys. Maybe she was going on dates, maybe she was busy. And going to a bar doesn't mean she was looking to hook up. But, then again...if she was, if you guys are not exclusive, then it's none of your business.
 Babeeblooz
Joined: 4/4/2012
Msg: 61
My latest dating experience (was I wrong?)
Posted: 5/22/2012 11:34:17 PM
So it was ok for you to wait a few days to call her but when she didn't call you right back you reacted. Already accusing her of being out with another guy. Just because you go out on a few dates does not meen you're in a relationship. It's still a time of getting to know who you want to be with. I don't see where she was playing games just because she didn't call you right back and if you really had that much of a good time you shoudn't have waited to call her. I guarentee if you had called her sooner she would have responded back sooner.
 Babeeblooz
Joined: 4/4/2012
Msg: 62
My latest dating experience (was I wrong?)
Posted: 5/22/2012 11:51:22 PM
Ok, after hearing you ranting on it sounds like she saw a red flag. Egging a car. Really! Calling women skeezers. If this is how you behave towards a girl you only dated I would hate to think what you would do in an actual relationship if you didn't get your way. She got out just in time.
 onewayoranuther
Joined: 3/21/2011
Msg: 63
My latest dating experience (was I wrong?)
Posted: 5/23/2012 12:25:47 AM
This OP taught me to read through before posting. At first I had one thought, which was pro finding him someone who is into him..... but then he revealed himself as someone who is unable to function in society.

Good luck to any female he comes across.
 saveta
Joined: 4/23/2012
Msg: 64
My latest dating experience (was I wrong?)
Posted: 5/23/2012 2:43:16 AM
The difference between you and this girl is that she didn't consider dating you as exclusive. Your idea was that you were in an exclusive relationship. Neither of you is right or wrong. I see, like she did, the early stages of dating as an open affair, where you are getting a sense of the other person and seeing other people as well. I don't consider what she was doing as "playing the field" because she didn't see your relationship as exclusive. I guess she also didn't like you as much as you liked her. That's life.
 scottey63
Joined: 3/8/2008
Msg: 65
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My latest dating experience (was I wrong?)
Posted: 5/23/2012 5:15:07 AM
"She responded that its none of my business, she doesnt owe me ****, and she will call whenever the hell she feels like it."...THEN you had the argument? at this point, I would have said "Don't bother", and hung up.
 Gertrude13
Joined: 5/14/2012
Msg: 66
My latest dating experience (was I wrong?)
Posted: 5/23/2012 8:40:27 AM



Dating rules to live by
#1 Before sex, no good deed goes unpunished.
If you gift, compliment, put your own life on hold for her, or otherwise kiss a woman's azz before you've copulated with her, she will identify you as weak and needy and will discard you.

#2 NEVER get heavier(emotional) than her.
If you express emotions and feelings towards a woman before she expresses hers to you, she will identify you as weak and discard you.



Oops. There is truth to this, but it's not the whole story...
If I really like a guy, say - after four dates or so - he can't really be too attentive. That start of attraction into something more can be a scary time for females. Trust can be really hard. So, if, in this fragile stage, he waits 3 day to call, I'd likely squelch whatever affection is blossoming, figuring that he's playing games or not really into me, and who wants to get hurt?

The only time I've been scared off by a guy making the first emotional move was when I wasn't all that wild about him anyway...
 RedDelPaPa
Joined: 5/21/2011
Msg: 67
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My latest dating experience (was I wrong?)
Posted: 5/23/2012 3:49:54 PM


Oops. There is truth to this, but it's not the whole story...
If I really like a guy, say - after four dates or so - he can't really be too attentive. That start of attraction into something more can be a scary time for females. Trust can be really hard. So, if, in this fragile stage, he waits 3 day to call, I'd likely squelch whatever affection is blossoming, figuring that he's playing games or not really into me, and who wants to get hurt?

Sure. It's more complicated than that. But it's a good start. I wouldn't recommend waiting 3 days to call either. I would call the next evening, and then probably skip a day before calling again. Or have her make the next call. Better approach in my opinion.


The only time I've been scared off by a guy making the first emotional move was when I wasn't all that wild about him anyway...

Makes sense. Allow me to explain my comment further. It's not necessarily about being scared off, but generally when a man lays his emotions on the table first before a woman does, most women find that to be unattractive behavior, and usually causes them to lose some interest. Possibly even all interest. Again, this is especially important in those beginning stages of attraction and relationships. I would say that kind of behavior very rarely helps his cause with his woman of interest. And most often hinders it. Therefore, just don't do it. Be mentally strong and let the woman go first.
 Gertrude13
Joined: 5/14/2012
Msg: 68
My latest dating experience (was I wrong?)
Posted: 5/23/2012 3:58:05 PM
^^^^ahhhh...that makes more sense. Funny how I have a hard time viewing from outside the lens of my own perspective, as it were. I bet you're right, though. I'm likely just a lil more skittish than normal women...

My favorite man ever definitely made the first "emotional" move. We had just talked a bit, and he knew I was really down, and that I had a deep mistrust of males. So he sent me "just haven't met you yet". No message. For valentines day, he wrote me a poem. Funny, snarky, pervy, and sweet. Perfect. He didn't declare his undying love, but he gave just exactly enough to touch me, without pressuring me or making it about him. Lordy, I wish Texas were closer...:)
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