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 jandre87
Joined: 5/1/2012
Msg: 26
Since guys are annoyingly told all the time to Page 2 of 3    (1, 2, 3)
You just asked a question that is so hard to answer that quite literally for most people to tackle it here would cause more harm than good. I'll give a non-spam link (it actually pertains to the question) its: http://www.menspsychology.com/ That's gonna be the best bet man! Hope it helps ya.
 adora71
Joined: 2/8/2010
Msg: 27
Since guys are annoyingly told all the time to
Posted: 5/29/2012 10:54:51 PM

Women are allowed to blame their problems on Men, but Men are not allowed to blame their problems on Women, it's always a Man's fault but it is never a Woman's fault for anything. Women are allowed to have insecurities, Men are not. It's okay for women to be frustrated, complain, be depressed, angry about being single, but it's not okay for women to be frustrated, complain, be depressed, angry about being single. Overall, women are allowed to complain, be frustrated, whine about things, men are not.


Who is doing the allowing?
 nikkisenko
Joined: 9/5/2011
Msg: 28
Since guys are annoyingly told all the time to
Posted: 7/7/2012 5:21:36 PM

and why is taking responsibility for your life more expected in men than in women? shouldn't it be an adult thing? why is it far more important for men to do it than women do it? who or what made those "unwritten" rules? Because yes, it gets very frustrating, annoying, on how life, society, culture, expect us guys to "Toughen" it up all the damn time, we get criticized for showing any form of weakness


Taking responsibility is an adult thing to do. The only real difference is the verbage that is used. Yes, generally, when someone says to "man up", they are speaking to a male. When speaking to a female, different words are often used, but the message is essentially the same.

If you are hearing this frequently, I would contend you are whining .....a lot. Because, I have seen both women AND men get support during a time of weakness get emotional support, if it was warranted.

The "man up" phrase, I generally hear these comments tossed out when someone is struggling to accept their own emotional responsibility. Heck, I've been that person. In hindsight, they were right. I was doing a lot of whining instead of getting out and making my life better. The sooner I quit crying and took action, the sooner my life got easier. And, THAT is the big message I think people are trying to convey. They do want you to feel better. But, they know the only person who can change that is you.
 Flurr
Joined: 4/24/2010
Msg: 29
view profile
History
Since guys are annoyingly told all the time to
Posted: 7/7/2012 5:23:41 PM
Be yourself and don't give a F*ck about anything else. I watched a documentary about how the perception of american men is mislead after WWII because of the soldier heroic efforts in the war and the great depression previous to that. How men are expected to be strong, tough, heroic, knowledgeable etc etc etc. Ultimately this is not true. You are who you are and don't change unless that's what you want.
 pescando75
Joined: 3/23/2012
Msg: 30
Since guys are annoyingly told all the time to
Posted: 7/8/2012 9:40:03 AM
Translation: So much baggage, you'll need to be a "real man" to lift it all.
Never mind if they bring anything to the table themselves... lol!
 Prince_of_charm
Joined: 5/17/2012
Msg: 31
Since guys are annoyingly told all the time to Man Up, Be a Man, Grow a Pair what makes a Man?
Posted: 7/10/2012 3:36:02 PM
Both women and men have expectations placed upon them. We can choose to ignore them, but there may be consequences in how others react to us. Ultimately, we need to decide for ourselves what is right for us and not live out some drone like existence but we need to keep in mind the social norms in order to predict how people may react. Ignoring all social norms is fine if you're independently wealthy but for us working folks we will have to care (at least 9-5) how others perceive us.We are all politicians around the office.
 Anywherbuthere
Joined: 12/30/2011
Msg: 32
Since guys are annoyingly told all the time to Man Up, Be a Man, Grow a Pair what makes a Man?
Posted: 7/10/2012 6:09:47 PM
Dude...you asked a question and were given some pretty good answers yet you want to debate? You aren't qualified to debate because you didn't know the answer to a pretty fundamental question that my 15 year old son can answer. I've never been offended by the phrase "Man Up" and never found it as you put it "annoyingly".
 OutMind
Joined: 2/13/2007
Msg: 33
Since guys are annoyingly told all the time to Man Up, Be a Man, Grow a Pair what makes a Man?
Posted: 7/10/2012 9:00:44 PM
Man up. What a noble principle that many men do not follow. Yet how powerful. Man up is not about doing risky things, or crazy things, or testosterone thing driven things. I boils down to another big statement, live by your word. Being a man means that you live by your word. Living by your word also means putting those words into actions, which means is what you say, you will do.

Realize also that men are pack animals. Whether we like it or not, is that ability to work in a group that has allowed humans to be where we are. It also means how we deal with difficulty, imagined, created, or real. Men are intrinsically warriors. That is in our genes. That is why men love sports, war movies, action movies. Man up means that when you are set and agreed to a task, you deliver, you go all out and do your best. You can fail, and learn, you can win and bask in your glory, but you went to battle and performed by your words, your actions.

Why don't we apply this words to women? Anthropologically speaking women have only been able to emancipate themselves in this last century, give thanks to the pill, but also living in a world driven by laws and that women can provide for their own, so they can now man up, or woman up, without having some guy remove her right to vote, work, earn equal pay, hold property, not be property. So the world is really just experienced a quantum leap in human consciousness. Thus women in business, women that provide for their children, women in more advance societies are now put to that standard.

However, it does not change our fundamental nature. Women create and maintain the nest, men go out, battle animal and foe, and provides. That has not changed yet.

Now, look at movies, read a good epic, even read scriptures that are thousands of years old and you arrive at the quest that the hero must endure to find himself. That is transformation from boy to man. Many men die in that process, but it's still as valid to day, in this world as it was 2000 years ago.
So what does it mean to man up. Men are willing to sacrifice for their family, for his children for his woman, for their safety, and they do it willingly because of next most powerful thing other than your word, and that is love.
 karma1160
Joined: 6/10/2008
Msg: 34
Since guys are annoyingly told all the time to
Posted: 7/11/2012 10:07:48 AM
You have never heard the expression act like a lady?
It's always moms fault or assertive women are called sluts oh please there are many social norms put upon women.
Man up usually means take a stand, and back it up with action. This is a great concept, but the approach is messed up.
I personally think these are expressions to manipulate people by shame and quilt, which doesn't work
To empower people for more than 5 minutes.
To empower a person, they must believe that they can eventually reach their goal.
 femaleconnection
Joined: 8/12/2010
Msg: 35
Since guys are annoyingly told all the time to
Posted: 7/11/2012 11:38:36 AM

i hate how men are held to higher standards in life than women are.


Then stop allowing it!

I never allow a female more leeway because she is female...in fact, I think Im a little tougher on women because I hold myself to higher standards and rightly or wrongly, I find myself holding all women to those same standards. I guess I figure 'if I can do it, so can you' and I dont accept excuses.

If you see women getting away with bad behavour and you say nothing, then you are one of the people allowing it/contributing to the problem. But like most people you would prefer to biatch about it instead of risking not being liked and actually stating upon seeing it with your own two eyes. Soooo typical....and UNmanly!

And, if you think females are not subjected to any double standards, you need to get out and live a little. Talk about absolute tripe!! Both sexes face this and anyone who thinks not is out to lunch.
 Lionesse19
Joined: 3/30/2012
Msg: 36
Since guys are annoyingly told all the time to
Posted: 7/13/2012 10:10:23 PM
We all have standards and we all have different ideas on what we find attractive and manly. In general men are expected to be assertive, strong, confident and courageous. Men do have to prove themselves more as men and to separate from their mothers in a way that a woman never has to, it is true. The basic sex is female and this may be the reason a man feels he has to prove he is a man in a basically patriarchal society. Women have expectations put on them to fulfil the womanly role too though. We all have a mixture of yin and yang and sometimes the balance is out of whack. But we should be allowed to be who we are and what others may expect.
 babyfiireflii
Joined: 6/25/2012
Msg: 37
Since guys are annoyingly told all the time to
Posted: 7/13/2012 11:07:23 PM
well its kind of an odd question, kind of like "she doesnt have to why do i?" ... :| im not sure why you feel the need to get even or to compete like that with a female. sounds like a child to me.
im a welder an apprentice for a union even and believe you me i dont get easier work, it all needs to just get done and those who complain about it are the ones who get told told to man up. but thats only in my experience. ive manned up major, but it appears to emasculate men when i do, so damned if you damned if you dont right. you decide the standards of your life and what makes you a man and stick to it.
ppl suck sometimes
 babyfiireflii
Joined: 6/25/2012
Msg: 38
Since guys are annoyingly told all the time to
Posted: 7/14/2012 4:46:29 PM
perhaps when it comes to dating, which really isnt vital for survival, it would have been a wholelot easier for ME to be a man doing the work i do, there is no complaint i just know thats how it is. i guess what i was trying to get across is being a "man about it" doesnt mean literally those words are used as a term now, and woman can 'man up' everyone has a choice to do that, or complain.
 Anywherbuthere
Joined: 12/30/2011
Msg: 39
Since guys are annoyingly told all the time to
Posted: 7/14/2012 6:11:23 PM
I was actually going to respond to your inquiry until I read your profile...see below.
"Also, I really hate, despise, loathe gender roles with a huge passion, especially how life, society, culture, as to what they say is masculine or feminine, they expect us guys to be a certain way attitude-wise, mentally-wise, etc. "

Aww what the heck...To man up? Seek and find answers within yourself...blame and accuse no one...for you and only you are held accountable by you for that which you have either allowed, built or destroyed. Unless you don't hold yourself accountable.
 Janet_Always
Joined: 6/20/2012
Msg: 40
Since guys are annoyingly told all the time to
Posted: 7/15/2012 5:52:01 AM
Usually I think people mean you need to grow up and act like a mature adult rather than a little boy.

I have my own ideas about how I classify a "real man" which I know is really just my "preferred type" and has no bearing on someone's gender.

But when anyone has such a hatred towards some societal viewpoints they tend to be whiny and lack maturity.

It's not necessary to agree with others to live your life.
 myownjourney
Joined: 7/11/2012
Msg: 41
Since guys are annoyingly told all the time to
Posted: 7/17/2012 2:25:31 PM
I truly wish every woman who says they want a real man (or thinks they are somehow fit to judge what, exactly, that is) would find one--the sooner, the better. Then, maybe they'd erase the term, "real man," from their vocabulary; and thus, stop annoying the ever loving hell out of all us artificial guys who are sick to death of hearing it.
 vestaceres
Joined: 6/13/2012
Msg: 42
Since guys are annoyingly told all the time to
Posted: 7/17/2012 2:45:47 PM
Yes - my womanhood is constantly accosted through the media and even on dating sites, not personally, but I don't fit the criteria of being woman that society expects me to be: insanely slender to the point I am near anorexia; somehow, I am supposed to restore myself to 25 years old either by insane surgeries, cosmetics, and excessive clothing I would have given up paying my education for or the insane guilt I should feel being born in the wrong year every year after 28; being childless or not; having the right color, length; nails, but I have gorgeous, natural nails; should have already finished a graduate degree before 30; or just give up because 39 is somehow the new 50.

It doesn't matter that I'm well educated, empathetic, intelligent, teaches, pretty and curvy, a brunette, a woman who isn't jealous of women not yet in their majority; that I stand my ground; a woman who doesn't want to look 25; doesn't treat men like manuer; relate well to others; solves problems; and notwithstanding the fact that I am independent in the true sense of the world and still believes in quality relationships and is amazing lover.

Cheers.
 shomesomethin
Joined: 5/4/2007
Msg: 43
Since guys are annoyingly told all the time to
Posted: 7/19/2012 5:24:30 AM
If it must be explained, then you probably won't understand anyway.
Set aside the ways of a child. There are very few men in this country today. Most are children in adult bodies.
Don't worry about what anyone else thinks about you except for your parents and your children, if you have any.
If you are with a woman who thinks she needs to tell you to man up or grow a pair, then you are with a woman who has no respect for you in the first place, so dump the b***h.
 Janet_Always
Joined: 6/20/2012
Msg: 44
Since guys are annoyingly told all the time to
Posted: 7/19/2012 5:39:07 AM

I truly wish every woman who says they want a real man (or thinks they are somehow fit to judge what, exactly, that is) would find one--the sooner, the better. Then, maybe they'd erase the term, "real man," from their vocabulary; and thus, stop annoying the ever loving hell out of all us artificial guys who are sick to death of hearing it.

It seems odd to me that you would just naturally assume you're not a real man. Why not?
 Capn_America
Joined: 10/6/2011
Msg: 45
Since guys are annoyingly told all the time to
Posted: 7/20/2012 1:50:50 PM

seriously, i'm willing to risk getting arrested, but the next time someone tells me in person to "Man Up, Be a Man, Grow a Pair", i seriously would love to beat the shit out of him, kick his ass, fight him, to prove that i have balls, that i am a Man, that i have respect for myself, love to make him squeal as I break his ****in' neck!


Man up, grow a pair and be a man.
Now come to Montreal and try to break MY neck, junior....
I've seen a couple of you replies, if your so peed off at women in general and how its so unfair that men are held to supposedly such higher standards than women, your very welcome to turn gay.
And if you hate men as well, like seems to be the case with the above post, your very welcomed to jump off a bridge.
If that the only way you feel you can prove to someone your actually a man, you have a HELLUVA way to grow.

Instead, the next time someone tells you to grow a pair, try wondering exactly why he's saying that, and giving that person the benefit of a doubt. If you were told that so often in YOUR life, there might be something to it that you've been stubbornly refusing to look at.
A real man wouldnt be bothered by comments like that; someone who already has balls doesnt care that someone he doesnt know tells him to grow some, and sure as HELL won't break into a fight over it, kid...
 Capn_America
Joined: 10/6/2011
Msg: 46
Since guys are annoyingly told all the time to
Posted: 7/20/2012 2:35:57 PM
avoiding fights, walking away from a fight is for cowards, wimp's, pussie's

That`s what I usually say, you little gimp. But I`m trying to be nice so I won`t get banned again. Make sure I never walk up on you, cos I`ll shove my boot so far up your azz you`ll be singning the Nike song for a month, you goddamn little sh*t. Stop acting like a troll if you dont want to be taken for one. And if your tough enough to kick anyone`s azz who complain about you, get off the website and into real life, dik.
 rockstar_nj1182
Joined: 12/5/2012
Msg: 47
Since guys are annoyingly told all the time to
Posted: 12/9/2012 10:02:25 AM
From the perspective of a woman, a "man" is basically a guy that fits her expectations of how a guy should act.

From the perspective of a guy, imagine chuck norris riding on a t-rex, throwing sharks at people, and the t-rex is made out of chainsaws... A "man" is the guy that beats the crap out of him.

All the acting responsible, sticking up for yourself, doing what needs to be done... That's just being an adult.
 AusteniticSteelMan
Joined: 12/7/2012
Msg: 48
Since guys are annoyingly told all the time to
Posted: 12/10/2012 6:11:19 PM
Don't lose any sleep over this dude.

This is a traditional view of a male, and you can really just look it up or do a spot of research for your area and what dictates being a man.

What do you hope to accomplish learning this though? You are who you are right now, and trying to change it is just going to cause you more grief in the long term.
 OutMind
Joined: 2/13/2007
Msg: 49
Since guys are annoyingly told all the time to
Posted: 12/10/2012 7:27:03 PM

-A real man gives out more than he is given, he gives out acts of kindness, respect etc because a mature man knows what goes around, comes around, and if he can add more good to the world, he's a better person for doing so.


Dude you are a young buck. Don't forget what you wrote. Awesome stuff. If more young people thought like that. The reality is that 20, 25 years from now those principles still apply.
 tie_me_up81
Joined: 3/30/2010
Msg: 50
Since guys are annoyingly told all the time to
Posted: 12/11/2012 5:11:38 PM

Yes - my womanhood is constantly accosted through the media and even on dating sites, not personally, but I don't fit the criteria of being woman that society expects me to be: insanely slender to the point I am near anorexia;


Last time I checked, there are 1000s or not if 100s of 1000s of BBW admiration websites out there. How much admiration is there for big men?....crickets!

Anyway, as for the topic, I think when women go on with the "be a real man, "men up" crap, they are being utterly sexist. Who are they to judge what a man should be?
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