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 Sensualgemini
Joined: 2/20/2004
Msg: 85
heres a mans point of viewPage 3 of 12    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12)

If he is not a good parent, I'm not going to "fix" it for him or take on the responsibility for another person's children.


...Exactly! ... Although often enough, as with non-parents, the relationship between the two adults does not work out and someone wants to believe it was because of the children and not themselves. Where as there have been times where I liked the kids more than I did the parent.

...Nevertheless, any new relationship that includes however many children is comprised of more than just the two adults; everyone has to be compatible. Thinking anything less, is not living in the real world and doomed for failure after the initial endorphin rush of new.

...On other occasions, people have children that have grown without any supervision or direction and already in deep troubles. What was ignored as cute or negative at the age of five, is only magnified exponentially at fifteen. To think that a potential will want to magically reverse years of poor parenting is not only ludicrous, but a bit presumptuous.

...With the above, either party has the right to discern the total picture and decide the compatibility and ramifications for not only themselves, but also for their own children.
 tinkerbellfreak4u
Joined: 10/26/2005
Msg: 87
Would a man seriously date a woman with three kids
Posted: 1/2/2006 9:09:39 AM
I have been dating a man that I met here on POF for a couple of months now. Like you, I was skeptic that I could find someone that not only loved me, but also loved my children. There are still some great men out there. Do not settle!! I went out on many dates before I found him. Together we have 9 children (my 4 and his 5). I did however find that trying to date men within a few years of my age was not working, as most 27-32 year old men are not interested in an "instant family" or they want children of their own, and I"M DONE HAVING KIDS!! lol So maybe try dating someone a little older!
 Quigong
Joined: 12/26/2005
Msg: 88
Would a man seriously date a woman with three kids
Posted: 1/2/2006 12:48:41 PM
KIDS ARE NOT BAGGAGE! I have three children and ditched the baggage when I got a divorce Any man who truly respects a women knows that her children come first and to make a good impression on the woman he must make a good impression on the kids as well. Ditch the fear, have a happy year!!!!!
 walt11760
Joined: 12/25/2005
Msg: 90
Would a man seriously date a woman with three kids
Posted: 1/2/2006 2:38:52 PM
yes alot of men would
 mycorosso
Joined: 1/11/2005
Msg: 95
Would a man seriously date a woman with three kids
Posted: 1/28/2006 11:01:05 PM
Well not only will they date 'em, they'll marry 'em. Least one did with my kids mom and my former wife. I have to say she isn't all that bad. After all she had me for a while didn't she? Plus I am proud of my children. He's actualy lucky is what it is. So yes without hesitation would be my answer to OP. I know kids are great. Best if they come with a mom.
 Le Roi
Joined: 11/19/2005
Msg: 96
Would a man seriously date a woman with three kids
Posted: 2/1/2006 12:14:45 AM
Lyndee,


You guys have no idea how often i've asked myself this exact question recently. :) It was only today that I told my co-workers, "Yes I'm still young, but I have 3 kids, what man in his right mind wouldn't run scared?" LOL! It's refreshing to hear that there are men out there who would be willing to embrace the fact I have children rather than see it as a detriment.


I don't have issues datin a gal with three kids.....I'll just have to bring along my pump action water gun
 LAID BACK!!
Joined: 2/20/2005
Msg: 100
Would a man seriously date a woman with three kids
Posted: 2/8/2006 2:48:04 PM
I do not think that the number of kids is the issue. I think that it is what type of relationship you have with the kids and if they show respect and all the other great qualities. I have met single moms with one kid that I would not want to be involved with.
 library22
Joined: 1/5/2006
Msg: 101
view profile
History
Would a man seriously date a woman with three kids
Posted: 2/9/2006 12:27:08 PM
yes i think so very much what if i as a dad has three kids no mother around and i need a lady to date out why would not she do this
 Wraith67
Joined: 7/17/2005
Msg: 103
Would a man seriously date a woman with three kids
Posted: 2/23/2006 2:49:44 AM
Well quite frankly, I would and have done so. In fact, that is why I am back here now. Well not to exactly to date a woman with three children. I will not mention any names, as her and I atleast salvaged a friendship in the out of the remains of our relationship.

It's just that after returning here and seeing her newly added profile, I would like to address a few things that she included in it...

Ok, If I may... Here we go....

First off, I have been through enough in my life to when "red flags" go up, I should be wise enough to pay attention. But also, I realize that it is not right to make one pay for other's mistakes..So, when I started a seeing a lady that I had not crossed paths with in quite some time, I looked past the fact that she had 3 children by 3 different men. Heck, if i had children by the women I had been with in my youth it would probably be triple that. When her and I got together, she was living in a place beside the father of her youngest child on that man's property. Then, when it turned colder she moved into his place as there was apparently no furnace in the home next to his. I looked past this as well.

In a few short weeks, she moved in with me and quite frankly, I was happier than I had been in years. I took a day off of work when she had to work and had none to look after her. I took another day off work when she had to work and she had none to watch all 3 of them.

I work nights and get home round midnight. It takes me an hour or so to unwind so I usually went to sleep round 2 am. Yet, I was happy to wake up when the children came rushing into our room at 6 am. I would get up and cook breakfast for the them all.

In fact, on the weekend, I fixed breakfast, lunch and dinner as well as took care of the dishes and such. When my job went into overtime ( 10 hour days Mon thru Thur, 8 hours on Fri and 6 hours on Sat...Combined with an hour drive each way.) , I cooked dinner on Sat night and took care of all on Sunday.

On monday mornings and randomly other days, when i was not too worn out to wake, I woke early to take her children to school as they were registered in another school district. Then my she would go to pick them up at the bus stop which was her youngest one's father's place. These children got off the bus round 3 in the afternoon and she usually test me at work lettin me know she was heading back to our home. When the texts got later, like round 5 pm and such, I not once questioned that.

Christmas came and yes, I spent more than I really should have as I believe that children should enjoy their childhood while they have it because we all know that life is not so fun at times, when one becomes an adult. I gave her gas money and put time on her cellphone whenever she needed it or hinted that she did. All of which I am just now financially recovering from...

As time progressed and things seemed to quit "adding up", I kept trying and trying to push the doubts out of my mind. Finally, one night I come home from work and my niece ( I took her and her 10 month old in when her bf left her and she had no where to go) said that she needed to talk to me. She told me that my while my gf and i were having a tiff via text message, my gf had forwarded them to her youngest one's father...That was compile with the fact that my gf was, in lack of more diplomatic words "slamming" me" as she talked to my niece. As my niece and I were talking about this, I noticed that my gf had snuck up without so much as word. ( when one has lived a life as i had in my younger days, one pays attention to his surroundings) . So, I asked my gf if this was true and she said yes, it was.

Now, please bear in mind that I had ignored all the warnings from others and in fact quit shopping at a local convience store due to the fact I would not tolerate those that spoke badly about my gf even if it was a place I frequented often. But, when my niece informed me about all of this, yes I told her it was time for her and her children to go back to her youngest one's father's place....

I appreciate all for patiently allowing me to paint the big picture...Now, the rest of the story....

With all due respect, she has the audacity to put pointed comments in her profile saying "control freaks and mamma's boys need not apply as i have had enough of both"....

I just do not understand....
 DonWilliams
Joined: 2/23/2006
Msg: 104
Would a man seriously date a woman with three kids
Posted: 2/23/2006 4:36:26 AM

just came out of a harsh relationship after 15 years, and a deep fear is that any man would be terrified of dating someone with three kids who is 37. Would men actually date someone with that much baggage?

christianmom, I'm not sure I should answer your question since "Who is 37" would exclude me in any event. Naturally, I'm not going to date anyone much older than me--perhaps a year older would be the max. As for having three children: It's very unlikely. One child and maybe two, but with three she would have to be extra special. One child is not so bad, but truthfully I want my own children. If a woman has three children she needs to give them to their father(s) to raise and we will start our own family.
 josephg
Joined: 4/19/2005
Msg: 105
Would a man seriously date a woman with three kids
Posted: 2/23/2006 1:34:53 PM
if you love a woman.Shouldn't matter, if she is single or has twenty kids.
You accept her, for who she is. Like the saying says: Love the Mom love the Kids
Case closed!
 josephg
Joined: 4/19/2005
Msg: 106
Would a man seriously date a woman with three kids
Posted: 2/23/2006 1:38:02 PM
I met a unbeliveable woman.Were totally ,in love with each other.She has a six year old daughter and I have a 17 and 19 year old. We both adore each others kids.I think of that little girl as if she was mine,and am greatfull to have her in my life.Keeps me young!
 Kinky_Couple13
Joined: 9/8/2005
Msg: 107
Would a man seriously date a woman with three kids
Posted: 2/23/2006 7:30:21 PM
In my mind if a man concider kids baggage then they are not right. I have a problem finding a woman who is ok with me having one kid. There are men out there who like the fact you have kids it is just a matter of finding them. I myself have a hard time accepting that fact.
 jneese
Joined: 2/20/2006
Msg: 109
Would a man seriously date a woman with three kids
Posted: 2/23/2006 11:10:35 PM
I too have 3 children and that thought often crosses my mind. I am not looking for a father for my children... their father is very active in their lives. I would date a man with children... of course I would want to make sure they are ok with their dad dating. The thought of a blended family does not scare me because i grew up in a wonderfully blended family.. I love my stepbrothers and I know it can work.
 lee36044
Joined: 1/19/2006
Msg: 110
Would a man seriously date a woman with three kids
Posted: 2/24/2006 10:18:58 AM
To all the women on here with the same thought ... yes the right guy will date and enter a real relationship with someone in the mid to late thirties with two or three kids. I have done it twice now. Even though the relationships didn't work out ... it wasn't because of kids. One was fairly long term and that was hard when it ended due to the kids but I wouldn't give up the time spent for anything.

As to baggage, if you still have the ability to trust a man and open your heart up when the right one comes along, there isn't any other baggage anyway. The kids are part of what shaped the "you" that these guys want to date, not just baggage to be drug around from one failed attempt to the next.

hope this helps
 Wraith67
Joined: 7/17/2005
Msg: 111
Would a man seriously date a woman with three kids
Posted: 2/26/2006 2:34:54 PM
For the record, it is not the number of children that matter to me...it is the lady's heart and emotion that matter most
 lovetolaugh28
Joined: 2/9/2006
Msg: 113
Would a man seriously date a woman with three kids
Posted: 2/26/2006 5:09:10 PM
OMG the OP sounds exactly like me. I was with my ex for 16 years, married for 10. I have three beautiful children who are my life. I've been separated now for 10 months and i know it may sound early, but you don't know my story, i wonder the same thing. Will any man ever want me, and the already made family? I don't want to be alone for the rest of my life.
 lovetolaugh28
Joined: 2/9/2006
Msg: 115
Would a man seriously date a woman with three kids
Posted: 2/26/2006 10:30:48 PM
This is diected to aguarianghost:I tried to send you a message but your restrictions wouldn't allow it as i live more than 75 miles away. Please don't read too much into my profile, it was kind of a joke. Anyway, you sound great, i would love to chat!
 ca1angel
Joined: 1/5/2006
Msg: 116
heres a mans point of view
Posted: 2/27/2006 8:17:25 AM
kids aren't baggage. The person that thinks they are baggage is the only one with an issue.
 Wraith67
Joined: 7/17/2005
Msg: 119
Would a man seriously date a woman with three kids
Posted: 3/3/2006 12:40:50 AM
With all due respect, it is not the children that generally cause the problem in a relationship. It is a mother that uses the children as pawns to get what she wants. I realize that all women are not like this and I apologize to all that may have taken offense.
 Broken_Soul
Joined: 1/5/2006
Msg: 120
Would a man seriously date a woman with three kids
Posted: 3/3/2006 3:09:34 AM
wraithofangels


no offense tooken how, are you.?
 Wraith67
Joined: 7/17/2005
Msg: 121
Would a man seriously date a woman with three kids
Posted: 3/3/2006 8:58:03 AM
Well, hiya kiddo. . Any more, it is all about work, sleep and eat. Well, one has to feed their addiction to the threads on here as well.
 Wraith67
Joined: 7/17/2005
Msg: 126
Would a man seriously date a woman with three kids
Posted: 3/4/2006 4:48:40 PM
Don, i can say from experience that sometimes, it will be the children that you would be surprised the happiness you find in a child's laughter. The joy you find in the little things that make them smile....You truly have no idea my, friend....In all honesty, it will be them that make you put up with the grief that, at times, the mother can put one through....
 Wraith67
Joined: 7/17/2005
Msg: 128
Would a man seriously date a woman with three kids
Posted: 3/4/2006 7:22:53 PM
It is not fair to the man to bring kids in and out of his life as well....It is difficult emotionally on both sides....
 nolman23
Joined: 1/4/2006
Msg: 129
Would a man seriously date a woman with three kids
Posted: 3/4/2006 7:30:04 PM
Can I turn the tables and ask the same question with three boys :)
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