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 bamakid28
Joined: 11/25/2005
Msg: 130
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Would a man seriously date a woman with three kidsPage 4 of 12    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12)
id like to think any man like myself would cause if you truly are a man then the children just makes life wonderful to be able to see theirr accomplishments in life as well as being able to help them with their downfalls.plus i am a single father of two daughters 9 and 4
 DonWilliams
Joined: 2/23/2006
Msg: 132
Would a man seriously date a woman with three kids
Posted: 3/5/2006 12:34:08 AM
Excuse me? ...you would really expect a woman to give up her children so that you could selfishly start a new family together?

Nothing wrong with being selfish. We are all selfish; that's nature. Nevertheless, you are probably right, she would not give up her children so naturally, if she has three children, I would not marry her. She can lower her standards and find someone that will marry her and take on so much baggage or else she can choose to not marry. Those are her two choices. However, she can still lie to herself and others and say she will not lower her standards.

Certainly, I would rather have my own children than to always be the outsider. However, if she only has one or two children after we have children of our own she will be smart enough to want me include me in the lives of her previous children rather than have them feel left out because I'm giving all my attention to my own children. That is, after we have children of our own, she will no longer consider me to be an outsider to her previous children. When I don't feel like an outsider I will be able to love all the children as my own.
 Wraith67
Joined: 7/17/2005
Msg: 133
Would a man seriously date a woman with three kids
Posted: 3/5/2006 12:54:28 AM
Mysti L, Quite frankly, it is all of them that should accept the man into their world. If a guy gets along fantastically with the woman but not the children, it is a recipe for a failed romance....and vice versa.

DonWilliams, why is it that one should be able to accept 1 or 2 children, but not 3? Also, why should a woman lower her standards because it is primarily you that would not accept anymore than 2 children from another?
 DonWilliams
Joined: 2/23/2006
Msg: 134
Would a man seriously date a woman with three kids
Posted: 3/5/2006 2:23:31 AM

DonWilliams, why is it that one should be able to accept 1 or 2 children, but not 3? Also, why should a woman lower her standards because it is primarily you that would not accept anymore than 2 children from another?

It is an arbitrary decision. With some men, five might okay, with others none. With me and almost all young men, if other things are equal, two is better than three, one is better than two and none is best.

That is the very reason she would have to lower her standards, especially if she is in her early twenties or below. Since so many smart young men such as myself prefer someone with fewer or no children she has fewer options; therefore, she is forced to lower her standards or choose someone older, such as yourself, that wants a young wife. In either case she is lowering her standards assuming she would prefer a younger man. If that is not an issue with her, she may actually raise her standards and find a man in his thirties that is superior to what a guy, now near her age, will be in his thirties.
 Wraith67
Joined: 7/17/2005
Msg: 135
Would a man seriously date a woman with three kids
Posted: 3/5/2006 2:50:21 AM
I mean no offense...But why is it that she should lower her standards just because you are no interested in her? You sir, are not the only fish in the pond. I admit, that for a young guy, it may be a difficult choice to take on mutliple children and the drama that goes with it. But, by that same token, one should not consider a younger lady taking on an older man a lowering of standards. For the record, a lady chooses her options because she chooses to, not because she is forced to.

I really do not prefer a young wife or any wife for that matter. With the hours that I work, it would not be fair of me to enter into a relationship with a woman...I just come here for the forums, my friend. If one lives in the "boonies" such as I and works the hours that I do...It is kind of like a way to find some sort of human inter-action and communication.
 Wraith67
Joined: 7/17/2005
Msg: 137
Would a man seriously date a woman with three kids
Posted: 3/5/2006 7:08:54 AM
Um, just how does a lady's children make her "undateable"...It is those types that she is lucky to avoid. Quite frankly, children are not "consequences", they are a gift. The only thing a lady "must learn to accept" is that there are way too many shallow people...
 Bdamnman
Joined: 12/16/2005
Msg: 138
Would a man seriously date a woman with three kids
Posted: 3/5/2006 7:15:46 AM
I would most definitely. A woman with kids is going to understand that Chuck E Cheeses may be a great option for a date...... And as I have one child 50% of the time myself.... That may be the only option, but a good option after the relationship has developed enough to expose my daughter to my date.
 Wraith67
Joined: 7/17/2005
Msg: 140
Would a man seriously date a woman with three kids
Posted: 3/5/2006 7:40:47 AM
I meant you no offense, an i certianly am not implying that anyone is a "lowlife" by any means. I am just saying that for those of us that cannot have children, they are an unreachable gift of spirit. As far as shallow goes, it takes depth in oneself to be willing to take on the "added responsibility" of a woman and her children.

You also may agree, that there are guys that will tell a woman anything to get them in the sack. That my friend, is full shallowness at it's worst.

Sometimes, "hot" can be defined as the whole package of what one is looking for in life...then again, that dream can become quite the nightmare....
 Wraith67
Joined: 7/17/2005
Msg: 142
Would a man seriously date a woman with three kids
Posted: 3/5/2006 8:11:12 AM
I see you are on the opposite side of the fence as far as what one prefers in dating women and I can respect that. You do have valid points and perhaps, I was a bit judgemental, therefore I apologize for seeming for asking one to adhere to my point of view...
 Wraith67
Joined: 7/17/2005
Msg: 143
Would a man seriously date a woman with three kids
Posted: 3/5/2006 8:12:18 AM
However, it was not intentional...I guess it is hard to see another's views when one is so focused on their own....
 xristos
Joined: 4/22/2005
Msg: 147
Would a man seriously date a woman with three kids
Posted: 3/5/2006 1:25:47 PM
Heres how i see it......the kids are part of you...in order to have you, gotta accept the kids. I love kids, im a dad myself. And since i became a dad, i have noticed myself looking more towards women with kids. I want a family, real bad. Weather it be just my daughter, and my womans kids....or kids of our own. But inorder to accept a woman with kids, you need to be able to accept the kids first i think. If im gonna be able to love a woman, ill love her kids too and do my best to be a very good rolemodel for them.

 salabaxy
Joined: 11/9/2005
Msg: 148
Would a man seriously date a woman with three kids
Posted: 3/5/2006 2:46:46 PM
mmmmmmm i think kidds are a gift and they are not a problem in finding anyone to love.
it is who u are and wat sort of person u are
that is wat should metter
 SoulMinstrel
Joined: 2/6/2005
Msg: 150
Would a man seriously date a woman with three kids
Posted: 3/10/2006 9:30:54 AM
In my humble opinion..Dating a woman with children is a bonus as she is more mature in most cases, more responsible and has love for her children which means she can open her heart to love. I am new to this site and province, and hopefully one day will meet a woman ( all quantities of Children accepted.lol )

Brad
 djdodat
Joined: 3/3/2006
Msg: 151
Would a man seriously date a woman with three kids
Posted: 3/10/2006 11:51:04 AM
Yo SoulMinstrel, I agree. Most women with kids are on another level than those without kids - not knocking you women who don't have any. What I've found is that a woman with kids life revolves around them. She's not likely to want to party nearly as much, if any - not saying there's anything wrong with that. She's just more focused on life and goals to make a better way for her youngstas.

DoDat
 djdodat
Joined: 3/3/2006
Msg: 153
Would a man seriously date a woman with three kids
Posted: 3/10/2006 12:08:50 PM
I think the problem is... somewhere on one of these forums a guy stated kids were baggage and that he would never date a woman with kids. That brings a new scope as to what someone will and won't tolerate. Just like an earlier post here - kids are a blessing, no matter the quantity. They didn't ask to be here. You didn't ask to be here but we're all here to serve our purpose on this earth. So what, if she has 3 kids or 5+... it's about how mature the man is and his responsbility level as a man to take care of someone else's kids. I think some men look at a woman who has more than one kid to be an easy target for sex and thereby have no intentions of making that their lifelong partner. I'm not by all means blaming you women but be careful at whom you let into your heart. If there's problems in the beginning, you'll likely have the same and worst in the end. Just MHO.

DoDat
 sltransport
Joined: 7/20/2004
Msg: 154
Would a man seriously date a woman with three kids
Posted: 3/10/2006 12:24:06 PM
The answer to your question would be yes. I would and I have in the past. The only thing is if you do find someone just make sure he feels loved also.
 DonWilliams
Joined: 2/23/2006
Msg: 156
Would a man seriously date a woman with three kids
Posted: 3/13/2006 9:51:42 PM
It is very much age related. If a man will date a middle aged woman in her thirties and above, he will probably date her whether or not she has children. However, if she has three kids, even a very pretty young mom of 19 or 20 is going to find that very few smart, good looking, athletic, and popular, 22 year old college graduates are interested in her because they are going to choose girls without kids. She can date guys 5 to 10 years older that good looking young single girls usually pass on. In effect, her choices are still good, just limited.
 1sweet pea
Joined: 2/28/2006
Msg: 157
Would a man seriously date a woman with three kids
Posted: 3/14/2006 7:22:20 AM
I was married to a man that hellped me raise my 4 children. He didn't have children of his own but we had a daughter together. We have been divorced for over a year now. My oldest son was 7 years old when we married, now he has had us a grandson, two months old. My ex. is not my sons real father, but you would not know the difference. He has claimed his title as grandpa as well. Sadly he felt that we were growing apart, but he has not abanded his children. He gained a family that will love and cherrish him forever that he didn't have before.
Nice to know that there are other guys out there that do the same.
Lana
 makinglove
Joined: 7/8/2004
Msg: 158
Would a man seriously date a woman with three kids
Posted: 3/14/2006 10:10:28 AM
i would in a heartbeat and i think others would to if they felt kids are a blessing and fun to watch them grow
 midlandgirl
Joined: 8/15/2005
Msg: 159
Would a man seriously date a woman with three kids
Posted: 3/14/2006 10:12:45 AM
Three kids is no problem.

35 on the other hand, is.
 veni vedi vici
Joined: 12/9/2005
Msg: 160
Would a man seriously date a woman with three kids
Posted: 3/14/2006 12:33:15 PM
to much bagagge and the emotional stress that comes with it,i say to each their own i was having it a go with an ex who had one child and that was a problem because "i" wasn't the father?chalk it up to life's harsher lessons.i think i did an admirable job in handling the relationship and it could be something that will come in handy down the road when i perhaps will have a child with someone...
 veni vedi vici
Joined: 12/9/2005
Msg: 162
Would a man seriously date a woman with three kids
Posted: 3/14/2006 5:12:28 PM
i'm not judging you at all M just bitter at a ex of mine appologies to you and other mothers of children it is a tough job and hats off to you
 DonWilliams
Joined: 2/23/2006
Msg: 166
Would a man seriously date a woman with three kids
Posted: 3/14/2006 9:18:26 PM

Single parents should be admired and respected, they are the ones who stuck to thier obligations and doing right by thier choices in life. Not to date a person because they are a single parent is beyond ridiculous! For they are the ones who can be trusted and take life's responsibilites seriously.

What nonsense. For most people all it takes to become a parent is to have sex. A person does not grow extra brain cells by becoming a parent so it does not give anyone wisdom. Becoming a parent does not change a bad person in a good person, nor does it change an irresponsible person into a responsible person.

I will date a single mom if she is smarter, better looking, more responsible, and willing to work harder at the relationship than a single gal. However, if all other factors are equal it is not ridiculous not to date a single mom. In fact, it is being foolish because you are taking on problems that single girls don't have. Of course if a single mom is extra special she is worth dating. That is because she has enough going for her to offset her baggage and the extra problems that single gals don't have.

Dating involves making choices and evaluating both the good and the bad. You choose to date someone based on the overall package and you try to pick the best package available to you. You don't choose someone based on just age, weight, looks, money, or whether the person is a parent.
 DonWilliams
Joined: 2/23/2006
Msg: 171
Would a man seriously date a woman with three kids
Posted: 3/14/2006 10:42:29 PM

Don Williams I started a thread just for you! it's called how children changed your life for the better. Give it a day and you will soon see how wrong you are and misinformed...but thats okay hun, your just a child. We understand where the attitude comes from.

I cannot agree about being misinformed. However, that is the most clever, unique, and enjoyable put down I have received since I joined POF.
 zabon
Joined: 2/27/2006
Msg: 172
Would a man seriously date a woman with three kids
Posted: 3/14/2006 11:13:31 PM
Hi ,Although I too have 3 boys im a single dad.The best relationship I ever had was with a woman with 3 children as well.And we would still be together if she did not pass away.I loved that woman with all my heart. its been 4 yrs ago now. But i have learned a good life lesson.
Love True Love dont count your children as baggage. but extentions of you that they can love as well.Never take love for granted because in a blink of an eye it can be taken from you.
And the only way you will ever find true love again.Is that you put away the fear of being hurt again.take down the walls.Its scarry but the walls you build will leave you alone.and your pain will be worst in the long run.take the walls down. and let love magnify.in all this
Love always with a pure heart and Never take it for granted.I hope this helps.And have a great day...
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