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 djdodat
Joined: 3/3/2006
Msg: 173
Would a man seriously date a woman with three kidsPage 5 of 12    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12)
Zabon that is about as straight forward as one can put it. I totally agree. If we all just appreciated what we have at current, we'd look past all of the things we assume is baggage. Is there truly "the one"? I think I'll start that thread somewhere.

BIG UPS to Zabon!


DoDat
 genngi
Joined: 12/20/2005
Msg: 174
Would a man seriously date a woman with three kids
Posted: 3/22/2006 11:45:01 AM
i knew I could find something here to relate to my situation. I am 38, have been divorced two years, and have 3 children. Dating for the past two years has shown me that men are petrified of me as the mother of three children. So, no, nobody has taken me seriously. I just had another one leave. This one told me the three kids had a lot to do with it. The others didn't tell me. They just ran, and fast. But I knew. I feel doomed, and it sucks because the marriage was sh** anyway, and though the children are wonderful, I only have half children, sometimes it seems...
 zgrunt
Joined: 3/19/2006
Msg: 176
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Would a man seriously date a woman with three kids
Posted: 3/22/2006 12:44:57 PM
In a heartbeat, darlin!!! I was with a woman for 5 years that 3 kids..raised them as my own. That just means there is more love in the home...hang in there..I would date ya so you know there are some better ones than me out there!
 zgrunt
Joined: 3/19/2006
Msg: 177
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Would a man seriously date a woman with three kids
Posted: 3/22/2006 1:05:34 PM
Well, donwilliams..you are certainly entitled to your opinion. But, for the record, having a child does make someone wiser and smarter and change their life forever. Example...before I got my daughter, I was a cop turned biker...ran with some pretty rough groups and I tended to be the toughest or the craziest..neither was very good. So, before my daughter, your attitude and comments would have caused me and my brothers to track you dow and put you in a friggin hurtlocker.

See, Im not doing that...although a few of my old friends are here right now, and they dont feel the same as me. But, no worries, they will behave because I will "explain" to them in actions they understand that you ARE entitled to your own opinions and we may not agree, but thats just fine. So, they will get it.

See..Im a better,wiser man already!
 zgrunt
Joined: 3/19/2006
Msg: 178
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Would a man seriously date a woman with three kids
Posted: 3/22/2006 2:00:54 PM
jpanch6...very well put!!
 denisebrew
Joined: 2/26/2005
Msg: 179
Would a man seriously date a woman with three kids
Posted: 4/2/2006 8:26:34 AM
I have posted earlier on this one but have not returned in a while. Zabon you are so correct. I would never count my children as baggage. I would not be near the person I am today without them. They are an extension of who you are and what you want out of life. I am so sorry to hear about what happened to you Zabon. But agian you are on the money. You have to put the fear behind. You have to love yourself and your situation. The time will come and everything will work out and come together. Life is a journey you have to embrace the moments and learn along the way. Have fun with it!!

Have fun and hope you all find your true loves!!!

 here_n_There
Joined: 10/15/2005
Msg: 180
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Would a man seriously date a woman with three kids
Posted: 7/25/2006 5:54:33 PM
I understand(** wraithofangels**) You/but not the other. I married a woman @ the ripe old age of 24, she had/has three boys from 2 differant men & in our split up aquired another. I loved those boys then as well as now (15yrs. ago). We had a son togather (god rest his soul) whom past @ the age of 9 due to an skeptical House fire. To this day I forgive her,And in the bottom of my heart care for her as a human being as she (the last I heard ) is destroying her life due to the feelings of our loss of our child. I went through hell and bck w/ this woman(long story) I beleave a family comes in all types of ways, & it depends on the character of adults to power through the times of hardships, & curve balls. I think the the children should always be thought of 1st and foremost. I applaud your efforts,I think you are a good man and some women will be lucky to have a friendship/relationship w/you. Im glad you posted and to whom it may concern dont let it bother you some people just show their true colors when you least xspect it, carrie on w/ your heart and go and find a match of (Heart) you deserve it , dont bottom out,or give anyone any power what so ever. AMC ..good luck & god speed to you.
 MuskokaMs101
Joined: 7/6/2006
Msg: 181
Would a man seriously date a woman with three kids
Posted: 7/25/2006 8:52:53 PM
i came out of a relationship 4 yrs ago too- actually a marriage -[ i think thats was what it was called]- and have kids from it too. I am only 36 and in the beginning i thought it would be impossible that any man would want anything to do with me and my "baggage" [i dont like that word].Its not true though - there are men out there that are not scared off by a package deal .Some even welcome it. I was lucky enough to meet someone a few months ago [who hasnt run out of my laneway at top speed yet , screaming "let me out"] - and i have several friends who are dating / living together despite having kids from a former relationship.If a man is happy with the way things are going , then the children should not be an issue - an adjustment - yes - an issue ? no. Your life is not over christianmom - the best years are still yet to come........
 out a line
Joined: 5/22/2006
Msg: 182
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heres a mans point of view
Posted: 7/31/2006 11:32:58 AM
y not if they realy like you for you it should not mater they are a part of you iwould in a hart beet i hane my son and if he is not ok with some one i do not want the and look on some one well come along for me and it well be the right one and i do not hold it agenst them if they have kids i do to he is 11 and alot of fun and the more the better time we can have camping fishing and doing famly outings kids to me is famly and famly is life and at some ponte they grow up and have ther owen and some one has to show them how to be a famly
 NorthwestPixelChick
Joined: 9/12/2007
Msg: 183
Would a man seriously date a woman with three kids
Posted: 8/31/2008 8:22:56 AM
Not only would a man date her, but he'd leave his wife and marry her too...I know this firsthand, because it happened to me (my ex wanted kids and left me for someone with three of them).
 annemar
Joined: 3/3/2008
Msg: 184
Would a man seriously date a woman with three kids
Posted: 8/31/2008 3:32:16 PM
I too have just come out of a harsh relationship after 18 years and also have 3 children.I don't consider my children baggage..yes it is hard being a single mom and trying to remember that i still am a women with needs and desires..but i firmly believe that someday I (and you also) will find a man who is not terrified of dating a single mom.Believe in yourself and don't look upon your kids as baggage!
 for.me
Joined: 1/22/2008
Msg: 185
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Would a man seriously date a woman with three kids
Posted: 8/31/2008 6:34:53 PM
Listen carefully...I just lost a guy that I dated for almost three years and I have three kids too. He has older kids and they want nothing to do with him so he figures that he's not going to go through the "trouble" of having these kids ditch him too. Do not cry over him...that's crap...let him be on his merry way...he lost more than you and some day he'll wake up and realize it!
 chickenbrains73
Joined: 4/24/2007
Msg: 188
Would a man seriously date a woman with three kids
Posted: 9/1/2008 9:53:10 AM
I understand what you are going through. I was married for 14 years, have been divorced for two...I have four children, 15, 13, 10 and 8. What bothers me is when a man expects me to accept his children, but has a hard time accepting mine. I am not looking for a father figure for them; their dad is very involved in their lives! On the other hand, if this man is going to be in my life, he will be in theirs as well! GRRRR!
 woody79_00
Joined: 11/6/2007
Msg: 189
Would a man seriously date a woman with three kids
Posted: 9/1/2008 7:21:35 PM
I think it depends on the circumstances, not the number of kids.

i mean if a woman has 3 kids with 3 different fathers, then yes most guys might be a bit cautious about it.

But iof the girl has kids and was married or in a longterm relationship with someone or whatever, that is different. I personally wouldn't have a problem with it whatsoever.

Many men are not honest with women and just try to get some, thus ruining things for genuine decent men like myself. So guys such as me get looked at like were just "showing a front" or something like that when that isn't the case at all. There are actually a few decent genuine men out there ladies!

good luck to all of you, and I respect all you single mothers who work hard to provide for your children!
 piscescoda
Joined: 6/17/2005
Msg: 191
Would a man seriously date a woman with three kids
Posted: 10/10/2008 7:18:22 PM

Why would a man want a woman with another guy's three kids?
The same reason a woman just might be ok with dating a man with 3 kids, genius.

Just because you and I don't want 'em doesn't mean nobody else does.
 fem_facetious
Joined: 8/14/2007
Msg: 192
Would a man seriously date a woman with three kids
Posted: 12/22/2008 4:23:21 PM
My take....

I have 3 kids aged 10, 8 and 6. I met a man here on POF about a year ago whom I thought was really interested in me, I was definately into him. We dated for about 3 months. He had 3 kids of his own and for all intents and purposes it went really well. Scary well. But in the end I believe that he just wasn't as attracted to me because I was at that time a few pounds overweight.

I think if you're going to date and you have 3 kids, you'd better be better than most of the women on here without kids. Skinny, sexy, rocket scientist, a woman who knows how to fix her own house, funny, easy-going, independent and self-supporting. And it wouldn't hurt if you were the next "post-it" note inventor. Or Sports Illustrated swim suit model.

I have enough money to support a partner who doesn't work... yet... I have lots of trouble getting a man to commit. I think it's the fact that I have 3 kids and I'm not a swim-suit model. I can guarantee that if Christie Brinkley walked on the scene here, she'd have no trouble finding a boyfriend... sorry men... but you really are more interested in a really smokin' body than anything else.

I've dated more than my share of guys willing to sleep with me... sure they'll sleep with me... but more than that? Not really. It's funny really, it's almost like they reserve it as a trump card once you have slept with them... "gee now that I think about it... 3 kids is an awful lot" While I agree with most posters here, children are a big responsibility, I also think it's unfair for a man who isn't sure... to get too involved with a woman who has kids. Sure he may not know until he is there, but he already knows... On a first date I point blank asked a guy if he was worried about dating a woman with 3 kids... he said "he'd worry about that later." I never went out with him again.

I've only introduced two men to my kids... the first one was a lesson, the second is a friend.

That being said, yes there are men out there who will take on the challenge but I have found that they are well over 15 years my senior. Frankly, I'm not looking for that. So I'm not giving up entirely... but I'm not holding out any hope either... just watch out guys... when I turn 50... I'll be the one to catch.
 Sean3870
Joined: 8/6/2008
Msg: 193
Would a man seriously date a woman with three kids
Posted: 12/22/2008 9:54:38 PM
well of course a man would. I have seven total, try gettin a date with that number, LOL. But two live with me. But yes most men have cildren of their own, they may not live with them, but they do have children and wil date a woman that has children.
 BIGBEN1731
Joined: 11/15/2008
Msg: 194
Would a man seriously date a woman with three kids
Posted: 12/23/2008 12:23:37 AM
no i wouldnt date a woman with 3kids already i would pass ity by dont need the hassles and the dramas and i prefer my woman with out kids the realtionship wouldnot survive course of diffrences and a lot of woman on here dont plan on having more kids and alot of guys out there want a family of there own down track and if the woman does not want to have kids and if the bloke hasnt got kids of his own and want to plan on having a family of his own i would say no the realtionship would not survive maybe single mothers and single fathers should date has they have the same common sorry no offence
 BIGBEN1731
Joined: 11/15/2008
Msg: 195
Would a man seriously date a woman with three kids
Posted: 12/23/2008 12:28:31 AM
no i wouldnt date a woman with 3kids already i would pass ity by dont need the hassles and the dramas and i prefer my woman with out kids the realtionship wouldnot survive course of diffrences and a lot of woman on here dont plan on having more kids and alot of guys out there want a family of there own down track and if the woman does not want to have kids and if the bloke hasnt got kids of his own and want to plan on having a family of his own i would say no the realtionship would not survive maybe single mothers and single fathers should date has they have the same common sorry no offence woman say on here they arent looking for daddy for there kids at least 90 percent woman on here would expect to father there children ive date a single mother before and will never again in my life and never im happy cause you arent tied down and you can freely do what ever you want
 Kelley-1989
Joined: 11/20/2008
Msg: 196
Would a man seriously date a woman with three kids
Posted: 12/23/2008 2:27:48 AM
I have 3 kids aged 10, 8 and 6. I met a man here on POF about a year ago whom I thought was really interested in me, I was definately into him. We dated for about 3 months. He had 3 kids of his own and for all intents and purposes it went really well. Scary well. But in the end I believe that he just wasn't as attracted to me because I was at that time a few pounds overweight.

I think if you're going to date and you have 3 kids, you'd better be better than most of the women on here without kids. Skinny, sexy, rocket scientist, a woman who knows how to fix her own house, funny, easy-going, independent and self-supporting. And it wouldn't hurt if you were the next "post-it" note inventor. Or Sports Illustrated swim suit model.

I have enough money to support a partner who doesn't work... yet... I have lots of trouble getting a man to commit. I think it's the fact that I have 3 kids and I'm not a swim-suit model. I can guarantee that if Christie Brinkley walked on the scene here, she'd have no trouble finding a boyfriend... sorry men... but you really are more interested in a really smokin' body than anything else.

I've dated more than my share of guys willing to sleep with me... sure they'll sleep with me... but more than that? Not really. It's funny really, it's almost like they reserve it as a trump card once you have slept with them... "gee now that I think about it... 3 kids is an awful lot" While I agree with most posters here, children are a big responsibility, I also think it's unfair for a man who isn't sure... to get too involved with a woman who has kids. Sure he may not know until he is there, but he already knows... On a first date I point blank asked a guy if he was worried about dating a woman with 3 kids... he said "he'd worry about that later." I never went out with him again.

I've only introduced two men to my kids... the first one was a lesson, the second is a friend.

That being said, yes there are men out there who will take on the challenge but I have found that they are well over 15 years my senior. Frankly, I'm not looking for that. So I'm not giving up entirely... but I'm not holding out any hope either... just watch out guys... when I turn 50... I'll be the one to catch.

Fem, what an outstanding post. If anyone near your age with three children can find a good man to marry, you can do it. Sure it might help a little if you would lose three pounds and possibly as many as five pounds. However, you are not overweight. Further, you have intelligence, pretty hair, a lovely smile that should attract most guys, and a symmetrical face which is a requirement for good looks and a strong indicator of good health and good genes.

I do want to point out that our tendency is to date the most desirable men can date and, since men date down for sex but don't marry down, they are not the ones that will marry us.
 singleagain66
Joined: 12/29/2007
Msg: 197
Would a man seriously date a woman with three kids
Posted: 12/25/2008 4:13:14 PM
Sorry to hear you that you had a bad ending to a 15 year relationship and can only hope things getting better for you christianmom. But I am here to tell you that yes there are real good men who would date a woman with three kids and I know because I have dated someone who had four kids. So don't worry you will find someone but remember evrything takes time so just have some patience and before you know it you will be dating.
 13mwz
Joined: 11/29/2008
Msg: 198
Would a man seriously date a woman with three kids
Posted: 12/26/2008 11:27:27 AM
You know i have wondered that many times myself..... If you find someone that will I will most certianly like to mark it down. I have been single for five years and have found many that would like to use me, but when it comes down to it that is really all they want. My advice is to quit looking that is when they come out of the woodwork...... Good luck and remember you dont need a man for anything count on yourself!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
 joe08873
Joined: 12/6/2008
Msg: 199
Would a man seriously date a woman with three kids
Posted: 12/27/2008 7:30:36 AM
yes why not? ihave 3 daughters the i love very much and cant seem to get a date myself
if i connected with the person then that means i care and if i care then its the whole deal only a selfish jerk would ask diffrent dont lose faith theres good people out there!!
 RIDGE411
Joined: 12/17/2005
Msg: 200
Would a man seriously date a woman with three kids
Posted: 12/27/2008 7:33:48 AM
Hmmm...The old double standard. I am a single dad with two children. One lives with me and has for most of her life. I am so proud to havge raised her I have found that women too have a hard time (some women) dating a man with kids. I Have no problem with it and actually would prefer to find a woman with kids so that our common areas are close. I have been seeing a women for the past couple of weeks with three children and she is a wonderful woman. I Have not met her kids yet nor has she met mine. It is safer to make sure that you are both interested in each other first before you bring the kids slowly into it. I would welcome a quality woman with kids into my life.....because alot of the women or men without kids don't know how much your kids mean to you.Best of luck .
 antoni68
Joined: 11/10/2008
Msg: 201
Would a man seriously date a woman with three kids
Posted: 12/27/2008 7:51:50 AM
yes i like to date a women with kids
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