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 Railroader34
Joined: 10/22/2008
Msg: 229
Would a man seriously date a woman with three kidsPage 7 of 12    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12)
I'm a single parent male raising 3 kids on my own. It's not the kids you date but the parent. If a woman has or has not kids is a non-issue. It's really about the person you are dating. However, if they do have kids and you wish to commit to that woman, then it's the whole package you need to commit to! So to answer the original question, of course as a male, I would date a woman with three kids!
 bhenry
Joined: 12/31/2008
Msg: 231
Would a man seriously date a woman with three kids
Posted: 1/17/2009 9:12:46 PM
i worry about the same thing except i am 27 with three kids. i was with their father for over 8 years and have been apart for a little over a year now. it seems like as soon as a guy finds out that i have kids, i get stood up or avoided. i am finally at that stage where i am ready to start dating again but i can't seem to find someone that i connect with that also welcomes my children.
 winners123
Joined: 8/7/2008
Msg: 232
Would a man seriously date a woman with three kids
Posted: 1/18/2009 12:10:53 AM
Ladies, thanks for your words of wisdom. I will hold out for that right guy and in the mean time continue to be the best Mom I can be. For me, getting married again sounds like a fairy tale. Good luck and God bless you and your new man.
You ladies are also right about a man not giving me any more than what God has and will give me. The one thing I have learned through all of this is that I am a strong women and I am makeing it to my surprise without my cheating Husband, but with Gods help. Have a great day everyone!
 ~luvUlongtime~
Joined: 5/9/2008
Msg: 233
Would a man seriously date a woman with three kids
Posted: 1/18/2009 4:55:11 AM
Finding a woman without kids - whether it's 1 child or 10 - become less avoidable as men age.

A man in his 20's - lots of women without kids - plenty of choice. Woman has kids and don't like it? "Next!"

A man in his 30's - less childless women out there, but still plenty of choice. Either he lucks out with someone the same age with no kids (who may well be looking to have a child soon - tick, tick, tick) or he hunts for a childless woman in their 20's.

A man in his 40's - There are not going to be all that many women his age without kids. Or they are going to want one pretty damn soon. If he himself is childless and wants a 'fresh' child of his own he's going to have to snap up a woman in her 30's and get jiggy real quick, or cruise the 20 year olds and take his time choosing. Mind you, if he waits too long he'll be a 50 year old daddy with a 20 something partner. Better hope the old ticker is in good condition.
 Tripp89
Joined: 1/14/2009
Msg: 234
Would a man seriously date a woman with three kids
Posted: 1/18/2009 3:32:27 PM
Yes they would. Case in point? My stepdad.

He had 2 sons from his first marriage (that he never sees :( and my mother had 3 sons (Including me, durr.)

Now they have their own son together and are happy.
 scotts68
Joined: 7/29/2008
Msg: 235
Would a man seriously date a woman with three kids
Posted: 1/18/2009 5:09:30 PM
Absolutely.
Would a woman seriously date a man with two kids?
Let us hope so. Otherwise there must be a lot of unserious dating going on out there!
 Kelley-1989
Joined: 11/20/2008
Msg: 236
Would a man seriously date a woman with three kids
Posted: 1/18/2009 7:34:03 PM
The advice of Dr. Dennis W. Neder and expert on dating and author of the book “Being a Man in a Woman’s World” will cause many on this forum to go ballistic. See Dr Neder’s Bio at http://www.kissmegoodnight.com/dating-advice-and-tips/who_is_dr_neder.shtml

Here is a snip:

I encourage men to stay away from dating single mothers at all costs. Yes, I know this doesn't seem fair, but consider it from another point of view: relationships are very difficult as it is. Adding kids to the mix raises this difficulty exponentially. Further, the laws in this country can actually make a man liable for 100% of the child's expenses even though he isn't the father! This happens all the time. Unfair? You bet! But that's the way things are in this "feminized world" we live in. today. Until we get this changed (unlikely to be soon), this is the #1 reason why men should avoid dating single mothers.
See: http://www.datingclass.com/dennis/problem-single-mother.shtml

He gives more reasons to avoid single moms at:
http://www.datingclass.com/dennis/dating-single-mother.shtml

I have read a number of Dr Neder's articles. He seems to be opposed to marriage and usually takes the man's side and often refers to the woman as a b!tch even when the man is mostly at fault and in one instance where the man was a basically a stalker.
See: http://www.kissmegoodnight.com/dating-advice-and-tips/she_is_not_honest.shtml
 SweetnessInFlorida
Joined: 6/26/2008
Msg: 237
Would a man seriously date a woman with three kids
Posted: 1/18/2009 7:38:15 PM
Why are you so concerned with single parents? Do you aspire to be one?
Seriously, who gives a crap if some men dont want to date single mothers?
 Confident247
Joined: 1/1/2009
Msg: 238
Would a man seriously date a woman with three kids
Posted: 1/18/2009 7:52:41 PM
It depends on the situation mainly. I have known women with kids that try to use guys to help them out financially, by pretending to like them and to show interest in them. And then when they get back on their feet they will break up with you. I also have a sister-in-law with 5 kids all by different guys one kid by my brother, even though she claimed she was on birth control while she was with my brother. And many months before my brother got her pregnant i told him to use a condom because i really doubt she's using birth control. But i believe in condoms because i don't want to catch a std nor get someone pregnant, safety first. It also have alot to do with how well-behaved the kids are. I have had kids hit me, called me names, spit on me and called me daddy, bad kid(s) are a major turnoff. And the main one for me is most women with 2 or more kids do not want to have another kid and me wanting a kid(s) of my own could be a difference maker. But if i really liked her and her kids are sweet i would do everything to make it work even if she didn't want anymore kids. I may want kids of my own but most importantly i want to grow old with the one i love. One thing i do know as i have gotten older is that dating is alot harder and more expensive, lol. But i do believe if we put are gaurd down..that protective shield...and open are eyes then and only then we will find true happiness.
 ibmental
Joined: 9/22/2008
Msg: 239
Would a man seriously date a woman with three kids
Posted: 1/18/2009 10:09:11 PM
i am a single father of 2 girls & have thought about the same thing. i believe that it can happen. both of my daughters live with me & i am all they have so if someone wanted to date me then they would have to accept the fact that i have 2 girls & if they can not handle that fact then they should move on. i am 39 & i am now the only parent my daughters have & no one will ever replace their mother but if they wanted to help some by being a good female role model for them while we date it would be nice. the way i look at it the right person WILL come along someday.
 Hi_D_1978
Joined: 7/15/2008
Msg: 240
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History
Would a man seriously date a woman with three kids
Posted: 1/20/2009 1:32:13 PM
I ask this all the time made worse by the fact my 3 are asperges. The men i meet just assume i must be desperate for casual ..... Hell no. Or that i want a dad for them. No thanx they got 1 for what ever hes worth. Is it so strange for a man to think maybe i just want to find love like any other human being out there?? But a ready made family is hard enough without the fact my ready made family is a special needs 1. Is there still hope out there for 1 like me?
 AceofDiamonds29
Joined: 12/25/2008
Msg: 241
Would a man seriously date a woman with three kids
Posted: 1/20/2009 7:15:09 PM
This man would but I also have children. I'm 29 and am a full time dad. I depends on your situation and what your looking for.
 airesboys
Joined: 11/29/2008
Msg: 242
Would a man seriously date a woman with three kids
Posted: 1/20/2009 7:27:36 PM
Well I am a single mom of 4 boys and had no problem. You do not have them meet at first till you are comfortable and then your partner become a friend not a father figure. It makes it more comfortable for all involved.
 dis56
Joined: 1/16/2009
Msg: 243
Would a man seriously date a woman with three kids
Posted: 1/20/2009 7:48:00 PM
Well girls, I dated and married a woman that was 35 who had 4 kids! What a mistake that was. Obviously I was thinking with the wrong head. After 13 years years of selfish abuse I finally dumped the 5 ****es. No wonder they have a designation for sucker fish on this site.-jimmy
 smileyeyesf27
Joined: 2/23/2008
Msg: 244
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History
heres a mans point of view(some men just dont understand)
Posted: 1/20/2009 8:17:18 PM
Kids get use to people and who punishes them and if some guy comes along and they r not the father but ment to be the father figure rushing and trying to do it your way is not a good idea the child needs to be punished the way they r use to the same routine . And changing things just makes things harder on us and the children yes if u have ur own kids you can do it the way you always have ,but when a child comes in to ur life cause u fell in love with there mothers or fathers there are things we all need to understand they are little people use to what there mommie or daddie did to raise them and if we do a dramtic change like this is what we use to do now we dont it will confuse them i know cause my mom did it to me for years everytime a new guy came around his rules went and then he and my mom didnt work and then a new guy and so on and so on i felt like i was being bounced around then i go to my dads and he was so calm and mellow and quiet it was very confusing for me so when a women says please leave the punishing up to me its for the kids sake not cause she is trying to make it all her way and i have dated a few guys w kids i have had no problem with it the more the merrier
 hockeyguy613
Joined: 1/13/2009
Msg: 245
Would a man seriously date a woman with three kids
Posted: 1/21/2009 2:13:31 AM
I think it really depends on the person

I have a daughter so Im kinda living a double standard kinda life. On one hand I hope to find a woman that will both love me and my daughter for everything we're worth but I dont think I would be able to be with a woman that has a kid.

My reasoning's probably go beyond being selfish though. I only get to see my daughter every second week end so I would feel like I was giving another child more affection and attention then my own blood sorta deal.

everyone thinks differently tho so its a verry difficult question to answer and all youre really gonna get is peoples personal opinions on this.
 legalgirlfriday
Joined: 1/8/2009
Msg: 246
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History
Would a man seriously date a woman with three kids
Posted: 1/21/2009 6:53:36 AM
Well, long story short. The mother who adopted me died in July, 1977 and left my dad a widower with 8 adopted children. I was 17 at the time of her death with my oldest brother being 25. My dad went through the church stage and then the drinking stage while grieving. I lived in a very small town with 2,000 people and 1 stoplight with 4 bars. One was a bar and grill where my stepmother worked as a cook. My stepmother had 5 children from 2 previous marriages. She heard my dad was widowed and knew he came in the bar every once in a while. My stepmother went home one night after work, changed clothes, refreshed makeup, etc. and drove the 4 blocks back to work to sit on a bar stool and wait for my dad to show up. Good thing she did. 31 years later we are a blended family of 13 children, 30 grandchildren and 18 great grandchildren.
 legalgirlfriday
Joined: 1/8/2009
Msg: 247
view profile
History
Would a man seriously date a woman with three kids
Posted: 1/21/2009 6:57:48 AM
Well, long story short. The mother who adopted me died in July, 1977 and left my dad a widower with 8 adopted children. I was 17 at the time of her death with my oldest brother being 25. My dad went through the church stage and then the drinking stage while grieving. I lived in a very small town with 2,000 people and 1 stoplight with 4 bars. One was a bar and grill where my stepmother worked as a cook. My stepmother had 5 children from 2 previous marriages. She heard my dad was widowed and knew he came in the bar every once in a while. My stepmother went home one night after work, changed clothes, refreshed makeup, etc. and drove the 4 blocks back to work to sit on a bar stool and wait for my dad to show up and he did. Good thing she did. 4 months lated on April 12, 1978 they married. 31 years later we are a blended family of 13 children, 30 grandchildren and 18 great grandchildren.

And I myself am a 49 year old single mother of a 9 year old autistic son.
 ABOVE AVERAGE MAN
Joined: 5/13/2007
Msg: 248
Would a man seriously date a woman with three kids
Posted: 4/17/2009 5:14:07 AM
I have two boys , I dated a woman with two children , We combined them all eventually and tried to make a family . I did not judge or treat my boys better. they in my eyes are little humans with needs too . I believed i loved the mother, and i really believe i loved her children too, I think of them often.We camped we biked, we bbqd .when the ex came for his children there were arguments,I always stood back and listened and allowed her to deal with her family..cause that is what an ex will always be..the outlaw in the FAMILY.
Cant ever avoid them at funerals and weddings.
Any way Step son died at 15 by a drunk driver .yes step son!! he adopted me , cause he trusted me I showed love .women with three children??? just more potential to have even more love .dont have to be the DAD just be the Adult!
 ProdigalSon81
Joined: 1/18/2009
Msg: 249
Would a man seriously date a woman with three kids
Posted: 4/17/2009 6:25:29 AM
I'm sure there are men who are willing to date a woman with three kids.

Myself, no. That seems like quite a lot to handle there.
 bigben1731
Joined: 1/7/2009
Msg: 251
Would a man seriously date a woman with three kids
Posted: 6/23/2009 10:12:30 PM
no to be honest just to much to handle and alot of guys wont raise another man children then you have the baggage to go with it with there ex and i would rather have a family of my own and thats my opion i would rather pass thanks but im not intrested in single mums they are the last resort place to cate no thanks not my cup off tea
 *Respited*Heart*
Joined: 9/19/2007
Msg: 252
Would a man seriously date a woman with three kids
Posted: 6/23/2009 10:12:47 PM
They are far and few between.
 bigben1731
Joined: 1/7/2009
Msg: 253
Would a man seriously date a woman with three kids
Posted: 6/23/2009 10:13:40 PM
no to be honest just to much to handle and alot of guys wont raise another man children then you have the baggage to go with it with there ex and i would rather have a family of my own and thats my opion i would rather pass single mumsthanks but im not intrested in single mums they are the last resort place to date no thanks not my cup off tea
 Daddyfish78660
Joined: 4/17/2009
Msg: 255
Would a man seriously date a woman with three kids
Posted: 6/23/2009 10:55:28 PM
It would be a privilege to date a woman with three kids. I have three girls of my own, and believe that God gave me the best gift of all: being a Dad. Time to share and nurture her's, as mine are ready to leave the nest for College.
I am age 51 and know my job is only half done.
 jenn8131
Joined: 3/19/2009
Msg: 256
Would a man seriously date a woman with three kids
Posted: 6/23/2009 11:16:39 PM
Could we please please stop referring to children as BAGGAGE how about we call them KIDLETS... say I wouldn't want to raise someone else's KIDLETS its the exact same amount of key strokes. So it will not take any more effort just a conscious decision not to use a negative term when describing a children.

I will be the first to admit I have baggage from bad dating experiences just like anyone that has ever dated but my daughter is not baggage rather the best thing that has ever happened to me. You know what after having my daughter I feel less jadded because I got the best gift a man can ever give u -- a beautiful healthy baby.
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