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 Llove2laughtoo
Joined: 1/11/2016
Msg: 141
Erectile Dysfunction ... how prevalent is it?Page 6 of 8    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8)

Msg:
Well, I also wouldn't be aroused by a guy I"m not attracted to. I can only imagine how much worse this would be for an out of shape, overweight older guy. Looks are important, and I know for a fact that guys go after the best looking woman they can get, so why shouldn't women.


Does it occur to you that maybe he did not get aroused because after the initial attraction there is the distinct possibility that you did something that turned him off?

The only way to find out is by having an open conversation about the issue with him.
 norwegianguy456
Joined: 6/11/2015
Msg: 142
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Erectile Dysfunction ... how prevalent is it?
Posted: 4/26/2016 9:18:07 AM

I'm seriously bummed about this whole thing. I'm paralyzed, I haven't texted him all day today because I just don't know what to do or say. I don't want to "discuss" it either, it's just so weird and uncomfortable.

That's not cool, though. Not that I have huge sympathies for him, as his newly off-beat humor and such is probably a by-product of the silent weirdness & concern between you two. But playing the no-talk-about it game and silent devistating frustration dragging it out is unnecessary. I understand it's your first time dealing with this. But some of this ball's been in your court too. Some gals aren't going to be that flustered over it, some will a lot (like yourself). If you wanted to see him again, but couldn't really handle it, the ball would be in your court to at least bring it up, IMO.

I can’t tell from your posts whether the first time was premature ejaculation or he went limp.

She said he got it up but 'was done' in like 15 seconds. He was a "2 pump chump" basically. Premature Ejac. His engine isn't running on all cylinders, and IMO, the nerves are a big burden to him... to go from hard & way-too-quick to car-won't-start. As she expressed, his persona was coming off as annoying and a bit off, as she could see his nervousness after all this.

I agree with you that it’s his body and his life

It is, but...

I also agree with the suggestion to talk to your man

Especially IF he's "your man", it's also a body you're sharing (certainly not with a random girl at the bar or his ex). Refusing to talk about it is shared, just like sharing the bodies in the bedroom.

If he thinks having penetrative sex is important, he’ll do his best to make it happen

Not necessarily. It doesn't mean he's going to handle it in the best way, unfortunately. People can get frazzled and not make the best moves/decisions about it... whether they're the one with some ED issues, or the gal on the other end who dealt with it.

If his libido is lackluster, then why take unnecessary risks with medications?

No need to take risky medications. If his libido is lackluster due to ED, he should take the virtual no-risk medication (if you're not taking low-blood pressure meds already).

Healthy relationships aren’t built on secret thoughts and unmet desires. He needs to know how you feel and how far you’re willing to go to be with him.

I agree. Both parties to some degree are responsible for playing the game of "don't ask don't tell", if they're dating. Most people with ED problems can get it resolved quite quickly & easily -- especially, from the sounds of it with him, when nerves is a big culprit to it too.
 Whisky_River
Joined: 12/2/2015
Msg: 143
Erectile Dysfunction ... how prevalent is it?
Posted: 4/26/2016 3:54:23 PM
Karma.....first off, I am sorry to hear this.
But...$hit happens. Goes to show you...it's not just about looks. Being that he is fit, he may be on steroids or some other meds...he's not telling you. He sounds like, he thinks because he is "good looking"...it's enough!
I once said....the better looking the guy was....the worse lover he was...imo.

You have 2 choices.....speak to him about it or use the fade out and call it a day!
I tried to hang in there with one man...he too didn't seem to recognize his problem either.
I really liked his personality, in fact he was a childhood friend.
I became to detest our time together....cringed when he touched me....to make a long story short.
I had to cut my losses....up to you if you want to be honest with the "why"....or not. I just said...I didn't feel it between us...which was the truth...lol.
Good Luck!
 flaneur001
Joined: 7/31/2011
Msg: 144
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Erectile Dysfunction ... how prevalent is it?
Posted: 4/26/2016 5:19:43 PM
Karma,

I'm curious, is it that he can't have sex that is the issue? or is it that his lack of sensitivity to the 'difficulty' this caused you. In other words, like your former husband, this man is not attuned to your needs - he doesn't own his issue (ED); he doesn't try to meet your needs (relationally, sexually), in order to preserve his dignity he is blinded to your needs and overcompensates by puffing up - like a blow fish.

Would you have responded differently, if he were upfront about what his ED?
 LetitiaLeGrande
Joined: 3/22/2015
Msg: 145
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Erectile Dysfunction ... how prevalent is it?
Posted: 4/26/2016 5:54:33 PM
Karma

He seems to have some issues for sure and certainly he is being psychologically affected by his ED. But you cant actually fix him. He has to do that for himself. If he is depressed and having sleeping problems he has to deal with that himself.

If he is 50 and healthy as you say, he should be able to perform. It must be difficult for him right now but you need to ask him if it is something he has had to deal with before or not. Often it is a vicious cycle that once there is a problem with erection they then cant get it up again out of fear. T hat you are still fertile may be a worry for him that you could get pregnant. This could be sub conscious of course.

I am afraid that no matter how much I liked a guy if he could not satisfy me sexually, he would be in the friendzone. His behaviour otherwise is also irritating you. I think you will have to pass on this one.










 lilydreams
Joined: 3/4/2016
Msg: 146
Erectile Dysfunction ... how prevalent is it?
Posted: 4/26/2016 9:23:20 PM

. He sounds like, he thinks because he is "good looking"...it's enough!
I once said....the better looking the guy was....the worse lover he was...imo.


That's actually ironic, many men have been saying the same thing on here for a long time too .

I dunno. Sounds like this guy had a bad first time in being a little fast on the draw. I'm sure that was playing on his mind during their second encounter, I'm sure if that happened to me I'd be a little nervous that it would happen again. And his nervousness lead to .... limp. So since his failure to launch...she's acting differently and he is acting differently toward each other. He's trying to joke around, she is withdrawing and I'm sure both are picking up each other's vibe.

Now neither of them seems to want to discuss it. She thinks it's his fault, he is embarrassed. Plus, they have only dated a couple weeks. Hell, how awkward is that...you don't even know their favorite meal or favorite colour or favorite book and you have have the "why can't you get it up" talk.

Maybe drugs or supplements, maybe stress, maybe high blood pressure, maybe steroids, maybe he's not that into her. This happens to many men and the unfortunate thing is, it shows because they can't fake there way through it like a woman can. It's cent and centre...or not.

I still think this is done like last nights dinner just by the way she talks about him. The luster has gone, he's not perfect anymore, he's broken. He's not first class anymore, he's third rate. And being a nurse, you would think the Internet would be a great source of information as opposed to discussing it here.
 LiliMarleen
Joined: 5/24/2009
Msg: 148
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Erectile Dysfunction ... how prevalent is it?
Posted: 4/27/2016 6:50:41 AM
Oh, Karma.

I don't know if you're actually seeing your pattern in all this.

I see it because I used to do the same thing.

You meet some guy. He looks and sounds great. After the second date (or so) -- correct me if I'm wrong, but didn't you say you just met him once in January and then reconnected and had one date, and then maybe you had another, and after that you were talking about taking down your profile soon, or posting his picture on your profile, or some things along those lines. And you kept calling him the guy I'm dating now -- after TWO dates.

This, to me, is getting WAY ahead of yourself, and all that "he's a great guy, I really like him" and so on is nothing but fantasy and objectification at that point. You're somehow enthralled by him, probably in this case mostly his physique and the fact that he kept texting you. But you didn't know him - at all. After two dates, you barely know anything about a person.

So, then comes the fantasy about how great it's all going to be. And then you have sex, and it's not great, and all of a sudden, he's not great anymore, either. And that's not because he's CHANGED, that's because he never WAS what you fantasized he was. He was what he was all along, but you didn't take the time to actually find out by getting to know him.

What you're finding is that you don't like who he is.

And because you barely know him, there is no real intimacy, or relationship, or friendship to fall back on, and so you don't talk about his sexual issues because, why bother. He's not perfect, and so he's garbage and of no further use.

The thing is that what you're looking for doesn't exist. Nobody is perfect. You're looking for the eierlegende Wollmilchsau, and we all know that's a mythical creature.

You keep saying, after all these bad experiences I'm not going to put up with this, and with that, and with the other thing. That only means that you want your fantasy guy because no real guy is going to be ALL that.

This is really just your unresolved trauma, in my opinion. So, you can either resolve that and try to find a real relationship with a real man, or you can stop dating, or you can keep doing what you're doing and get the same results.

I wish you well.
 Whisky_River
Joined: 12/2/2015
Msg: 149
Erectile Dysfunction ... how prevalent is it?
Posted: 4/27/2016 6:51:07 AM

I get that he looked promising initially but part of dating is to actually get to know people, discover their more human issues and whether those are issues you want to deal with. Just me, but I think relationships come down to details, not superficially abstractions or someone being your perfect type.

True...that's what dating is about...to find out about each other.

Maybe you want to think about why you are so quick to even think about someone as "the one" so early on.

I don't think she jumped the gun here....she thought that way on what she knew. I wouldn't meet with a guy after the first time if I didn't think he was the one!

maybe he's not that into her.

Really? If that's the case...he should be breaking it off with her.

That's actually ironic, many men have been saying the same thing on here for a long time too

In what regards are you referring.....yes, they talk down the "good looking" guys are only after one thing...but in the next breath
their life dream is to snag that "hot great looking gal"....ironic alright!!
 caballerosiempre
Joined: 12/5/2015
Msg: 150
Erectile Dysfunction ... how prevalent is it?
Posted: 4/27/2016 7:30:39 AM
My interpretation was that she meant many men say the prettiest women are not necessarily the best lovers..or may be among the worst.
 dragonbytes
Joined: 9/15/2015
Msg: 151
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Erectile Dysfunction ... how prevalent is it?
Posted: 4/27/2016 7:33:17 AM
LiliMarleen, I agree with you about Karma, in many ways she reminds me of LH who also tended to fall hard for a new guy, then found out he has feet of clay. With predicable results.

Concerning Karma, In Msg 117 when I said, "As for your problem" I thought she also had a problem, I gave the two bits version and wanted to complement you on a more thorough thought out post.

When Karma was hot after the guy, the posties she stated were:

he was clearly showing me off
THe guy I'm currently seeing is NOT like that. He texts/calls me all throughout the day and keeps going on about all the things he wants to do, and we already made plans for this weekend.

Now when Karma is turned off on the guy, the negatives she states are:

trying to impress me in other ways, one of them is the constant talking and trying to be funny (which it's not - it's annoying as HECK),
I thought it was sweet that he is so into me, but now I'm starting to feel smothered.

I see this a lot with everyone, the positives become the negatives, the person doesn't change, you change how you feel about the same behavior. Both genders do this.


Maybe drugs or supplements, maybe stress, maybe high blood pressure, maybe steroids, maybe he's not that into her. This happens to many men and the unfortunate thing is, it shows because they can't fake there way through it like a woman can. It's cent and centre...or not.


ED is a little complicated, it's not all about taking Viagra.

1) It can be psychological.
2) It can be a vascular problem connected to nitrous oxide. (That is what Viagra is good for.)
3) It can be a hormonal imbalance, mostly connected to testosterone / estrogen balance.

Naturally, it can be a combination of all three.

Since he is in such buff state at 50, former Marine, has several black belts, it's not unlikely he had been taking steroids. (There are many steroids bodybuilders take that aren't testosterone, whole books can be written on the subject)

But testosterone is the most common and most talked about.

Testosterone can make your libido very high, like a teenagers, but long term use can increase estrogen, and also shrink your testicles, so if you stop taking it libido drops to the floor. Too little or too much estrogen for a man has negative effects on libido. It can be a complicated subject.

It doesn't sound like he has too much testosterone, as the symptoms of that are:

"Symptoms of too much testosterone can include an over-stimulated libido, acne, excessive development of the male breasts, weight gain, edema, sleep apnea, urinary obstruction, and a high red blood cell count, among others. "

This is one reasonable yet simple article on male hormones.

http://www.womensinternational.com/connections/male_hormones.html

Wish you both (karma and her BF) good fortune in the future.
 lilydreams
Joined: 3/4/2016
Msg: 153
Erectile Dysfunction ... how prevalent is it?
Posted: 4/27/2016 8:21:11 AM

This is really just your unresolved trauma, in my opinion. So, you can either resolve that and try to find a real relationship with a real man, or you can stop dating, or you can keep doing what you're doing and get the same results.


I think Lili nailed it. Totally nailed it.

Who does the announce it to the world after 2 dates, who posts about "in a relationship" on their profiles page, she probably updated Facebook to say "In a Relationship" and all of this after one or two dates, a bunch of phone calls, a few texts and a failure to launch. It all seemed very juvenile to me, but what do I know, I'm relatively private. And I certainly don't proclaim to the world that he couldn't get it up but at least he went down on me...wtf.

And Whiskey, we all want to get laid at some point (at some point). I know I don't want a celibate relationship, I want a relationship that includes sex. I have yet to date a man who thought we should have sex on date 1 or date 3. I'm sure its crossed their minds but a grown man, nope. And as was said in another thread by Clooney, he can have sex with a 10 for a couple more dinners than it takes to have sex with a 5. One way or another, two people are getting laid.
 ndm147
Joined: 8/1/2013
Msg: 154
Erectile Dysfunction ... how prevalent is it?
Posted: 4/27/2016 1:25:23 PM
I think she was asking a genuine question about ED and had not dealt with it. I always give the posters the benefit without doubt. Facebook is notorious for single people posting they are in a relationship and mention his or her name. Then a week later the relationship is over and they are back to being single/available. I never post on FB anything about dating; am too private.

I don't consider a few dates or even a month of dating as "the real thing." It is just dating---too early to tell if it is a relationship.

On another dating site, I was texting a guy and he was texting me. His sexy chat turned me off. I told him I was dating someone, which I was, and he asked why hadn't I taken down my profile or indicated I was "in a relationship?" Because dating a few times is not a relationship, it is not exclusive. I was merely dating the guy and keeping in touch via cell phone.
 TrvstInKarma
Joined: 9/1/2015
Msg: 155
Erectile Dysfunction ... how prevalent is it?
Posted: 4/27/2016 10:08:22 PM
OMG, no way I can respond to all the theories here, but a few things:

1. HE was the one who asked me to be exclusive after three dates (one in January, two in April, and one after he asked me to be exclusive). I was happy, of course, because most guys I've met are wishy washy about that, leave their profile active and are "online now" after supposedly dating me. It was a nice change of things.

2. He doesn' t have Facebook - and no, I didn't change my relationship status on there either.

3. All of us have some kind of "trauma" - mine is that in the past I've settled for guys that were not for me. I couldn't get myself to break it off because I hate confrontation/didn't want to hurt them/ignored warning signs, etc. One of the things that I've sworn to myself is that I will not do that again. Life is too short. If it is a small thing, and I'm really sure that the guy is a "good one", of course I'm trying to work it out. But this is a big deal for me. And yes, I did some extensive google searches about this topic, but I wanted to hear from others about their first hand experiences as well. If someone is all up in arms about me being "graphic" or whatever, then maybe they should stick to the more PG 13 forums, not the SEX and dating ones.

Whiskey River, I'm relieved to hear that you've had a similar experience and had to "friendzone" the guy. I've had a few days to ponder it, and I think that's what's happening right now. I'm absolutely not interested in having sex with him again. It would be one thing if we had already been in a relationship and then this issue had arisen (pun), but it's just so bad that it starts at the very beginning. Just kills the budding attraction big time.
 LetitiaLeGrande
Joined: 3/22/2015
Msg: 156
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Erectile Dysfunction ... how prevalent is it?
Posted: 4/28/2016 12:21:17 AM
The irony is that only men with no heart issues or other health conditions, can take such things as Viagra.

Karma,
in your case it has only been a short time since you really got together, right? Asking for exclusivity so soon would raise a red flag with me. It is only a form of control and possessiveness. As he is not performing to your satisfaction you are hardly going to agree to that. If he is not having ED problems with other women then it may be a temporary thing but you cant always relay on men telling the truth about these matters.
I get that you are losing interest and I understand that. On some level you would feel rejected and not so desirable.
 lilydreams
Joined: 3/4/2016
Msg: 157
Erectile Dysfunction ... how prevalent is it?
Posted: 4/28/2016 5:46:55 AM

Who does the announce it to the world after 2 dates, who posts about "in a relationship" on their profiles page, she probably updated Facebook to say "In a Relationship" and all of this after one or two dates, a bunch of phone calls, a few texts and a failure to launch. It all seemed very juvenile to me, but what do I know, I'm relatively private. And I certainly don't proclaim to the world that he couldn't get it up but at least he went down on me...wtf.


You totally missed the message behind the point of these comments. And I don't have an issue with sex chatter, I have an issue with women in their 40s or 50s that act like dumb little teenagers...you're a grown woman dating a grown man. Adults.

Go read LiliMarleen's post again too, she nailed it.

You have issues (trust issues and probably a few more) and you will keep having issues and blaming men for something or anything until you deal with your issue. it seems that you can't pick a man, maybe you don't know what to look for or are overlooking other things .

You dated a couple of times.....you didn't have any sort of relationship.
 Whisky_River
Joined: 12/2/2015
Msg: 158
Erectile Dysfunction ... how prevalent is it?
Posted: 4/28/2016 6:37:29 AM


You have issues (trust issues and probably a few more) and you will keep having issues and blaming men for something or anything until you deal with your issue. it seems that you can't pick a man, maybe you don't know what to look for or are overlooking other things

Oh for Petes sake...thank you Dr. Ruth....!! We all have issues...don't we...

Her issues are called dating and being hopeful. A few like to rag on some that are living life...same as in LH because they share too much on here.
Meanwhile when it has happened with others, like Clooney or Henry...everyone is happy and then cajoling when it doesn't work out...you know it's true. I don't see any imposed analysis done on them to the "why" it didn't work out.
Trust me, I could have thought of a few, with what they reveal on here.

@Karma
You're welcome...Of course, I can have empathy....and I do not take any blame for his issues or my trying...in my circumstance either!
 platypus_man
Joined: 8/29/2007
Msg: 159
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Erectile Dysfunction ... how prevalent is it?
Posted: 4/28/2016 7:20:20 AM
I had a long post written, but basically it all winds up to this:
He's not impotent, as demonstrated by his first episode when he ejaculated too quickly. So, then, with performance anxiety now a problem, you're putting more pressure on him to perform.

That's not likely to work, and I would have thought that a nurse would understand that. And if you think that's going to be the answer every time it happens, you probably shouldn't be in a long term relationship. Just date, and move on when either you or the guy gets tired of the other....or if some guy has trouble getting it up, just let him know you tend to be very needy sex wise, and if he can't put up with that type of woman, you should part and go your separate ways. Honesty is the best policy, as always. You're physically attractive, and will do just fine on the one night stand circuit. Most men will be just fine with that if you are up front about it.
 dragonbytes
Joined: 9/15/2015
Msg: 160
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Erectile Dysfunction ... how prevalent is it?
Posted: 4/28/2016 8:11:49 AM

Her issues are called dating and being hopeful. A few like to rag on some that are living life...same as in LH because they share too much on here.
Meanwhile when it has happened with others, like Clooney or Henry...everyone is happy and then cajoling when it doesn't work out...you know it's true. I don't see any imposed analysis done on them to the "why" it didn't work out.
Trust me, I could have thought of a few, with what they reveal on here.


IMO Clooney has several problems with women which are obvious, while Henry just seems to want to date and not really get tied down. However, they never ask for advice or get into a lot of details.

A couple of big differences and the reason I think this happened with karma, lh and hawkings.

LH always went into a lot of detail about the people she dated, her high expectations and the man's failings. As does karma. Hawkings goes into a lot of detail about his dating difficulties, he gets analyzed near to death.

Even more important, Karma asked for ADVICE about ED.

I will guarantee you, if you ask for advice, some posters will ALWAYS analyze your part in the situation. I don' t think it ever fails to be true.
 lilydreams
Joined: 3/4/2016
Msg: 161
Erectile Dysfunction ... how prevalent is it?
Posted: 4/28/2016 8:32:05 AM

Oh for Petes sake...thank you Dr. Ruth....!! We all have issues...don't we...


Oh FFS, lighten up. This is what I'm responding to.


3. All of us have some kind of "trauma" - mine is that in the past I've settled for guys that were not for me. I couldn't get myself to break it off because I hate confrontation/didn't want to hurt them/ignored warning signs, etc. One of the things that I've sworn to myself is that I will not do that again. Life is too short. If it is a small thing, and I'm really sure that the guy is a "good one", of course I'm trying to work it out. But this is a big deal for me. And yes, I did some extensive google searches about this topic, but I wanted to hear from others about their first hand experiences as well


And really, if someone wants to come on here and yammer about their dates, ALL their dates, the 28 year old who done her wrong and is a narcissist, the handsome wealthy guy who hasn't made a move (maybe he has ED too) this new guy one and multiple posts about how perfect he is, blah, blah, blah and then come and post all about him not getting it up and how she doesn't like him much now....and on and on - she's open to comment. If you don't like my opinion, don't my read my stuff. Easy peasy.

And really - Clooney and Henry or Crook, or any of the men for that matter,don't come on here and yap like some do, Karma and LH for example. I have yet to hear Clooney say anything disparaging about his ex's or have I heard Henry do that either. But I've sure heard a lot about guys that want sex on the first date, that smell, that can't get it up, that won't pay, who need dental work, who don't work out, who are too old, who are narcissists and the list goes on. Who is selecting these "losers", Karma and LH are selecting them. So fix how you select guys or work on yourself a little bit because you have "issues" that will continue and your dating will stay the same until you get some help or rethink what you're doing.

This guy now has performance anxiety and I think no matter what he does the next time...the result will be the same. Karma has lost respect for this guy and just wants to hang on to him because he "looks good on paper".

Dr. Ruth signing off. And Whiskey - you're no different than me when it comes to comments, its just at times we're on different sides...like this one.
 LiliMarleen
Joined: 5/24/2009
Msg: 162
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Erectile Dysfunction ... how prevalent is it?
Posted: 4/28/2016 8:37:08 AM
And that, Dragonbytes, is because the OP's (whichever OP that may be) part of the situation is the only part that the OP has any control over.

Looking at your part in the situation or at the very least your reaction to what the other person is doing is basically what happens in any therapy or 12 Step situation, and changing your own behavior or at least your own response to the other person's behavior is the only way to change your experience in life.

This is why people who actually want a better experience don't object to having their own part in the issue pointed out. In fact, they are usually grateful because it's very difficult to see one's own part.

The people who don't want to hear about that are the ones who really don't want advice, in spite of ostensibly asking for it, what they want instead is engage in a game called: Isn't It Terrible?, in which one person complains about his/her terrible experience, and the audience confirms his/her assessment of the situation that it is indeed terrible and that the complainer is a victim of circumstances.
 dragonbytes
Joined: 9/15/2015
Msg: 163
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Erectile Dysfunction ... how prevalent is it?
Posted: 4/28/2016 9:07:51 AM

And that, Dragonbytes, is because the OP's (whichever OP that may be) part of the situation is the only part that the OP has any control over.


True, and the OP is the only person we are able to question, and the only person we have any knowledge of. The other side in these situations are always presented from the OP's POV, hardly unbiased.

Why is it I have NEVER seen both the OP and the person they are involved with both represented on the forum? Sometime the "other side" is a POF member also. Now that would make for an interesting thread.

I asked for advice one time, I got analyzed extensively. It was interesting and thought provoking, some of the comments were unexpected. Criticism is always useful, if only in that it makes me think about how to respond when I don't agree.

Really too bad a MOD shut down the thread and deleted 30% of the posts, the thread is still there but it only lasted ~48 hours. I didn't get a chance to respond very much.

Disagreement with my wife

https://forums.plentyoffish.com/datingPosts16077570.aspx
 Whisky_River
Joined: 12/2/2015
Msg: 164
Erectile Dysfunction ... how prevalent is it?
Posted: 4/28/2016 12:12:24 PM

And Whiskey - you're no different than me when it comes to comments, its just at times we're on different sides...like this one.
I disagree! Big difference...

If you don't like my opinion, don't my read my stuff. Easy peasy.

Goes both ways...
 halcyon_skies
Joined: 7/27/2015
Msg: 165
Erectile Dysfunction ... how prevalent is it?
Posted: 4/28/2016 1:17:50 PM
Well, I guess we won't be seeing that picture of the two of you together that you were planning to post in your profile. Especially now that you've outed him for not being able to get it up. After all, that would be pretty embarrassing for the poor guy.

You might as well stick a fork in it. This relationship is done.
 ThroatLozenge
Joined: 3/2/2016
Msg: 166
Erectile Dysfunction ... how prevalent is it?
Posted: 4/29/2016 11:44:48 AM
I rarely visit this forum but got bored.

Regarding ED, anytime I've experienced it, it was performance anxiety the first time.

All of the women were patient and I got a 2nd chance.

That being said, if it happened more then once, then she should politely tell him to get some help (i.e. meds or therapy)

In the big scheme of things, with all the bad luck she's been having with men, I would hope she gives this 'great guy' a chance and talks it over with him.



I don't consider a few dates or even a month of dating as "the real thing." It is just dating---too early to tell if it is a relationship.


I do hope you meant dating exclusively, after a month?
 norwegianguy456
Joined: 6/11/2015
Msg: 167
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Erectile Dysfunction ... how prevalent is it?
Posted: 4/29/2016 2:10:40 PM

You might as well stick a fork in it. This relationship is done.

It's more like he tried sticking a fork in it, but failed. It's done. Don't bring a plastic fork to a steakhouse! ;)

Especially now that you've outed him for not being able to get it up.

I think the main concern though is whether she can actually be Outing him on it -- as in coming out and saying why, but instead, like on their last date shying away from him, and hoping to tip-toe away. It's a reflection of the very poor way of handling a touchy situation like ED itself. Don't act like things are cool, when they're not. It's awkward as heck bringing it up when you haven't dealt with it (and ymmv based on the person you're with), but it's a Heck of a lot more comfortable and relieving in the end, than dragging out a don't-ask-don't-tell pretend game.
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