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 AUTHOR
 Fleuron
Joined: 8/18/2010
Msg: 40
did he ever love me at all?Page 4 of 6    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6)

It's marriage.



he is unemployed. hard time finding a job because he is a felon.

we got into fights all the time because he drives the car the whole day and uses up gas

what he did to retaliate was see our female neighbor.

a girl he was seeing before we got married was pregnant

he had sex with that female neighbor of ours

they were just smoking weed

he said that he is tired of arguing with me all the time and that he will start seeing other girls.

both of them naked on my bed.


OP. This IS NOT marriage. It’s wreckage. Any ONE of those things is a marriage ender… and I stopped clipping half way through your original post.

How can you possibly want this man around you? He has zero respect for you and this mess is NOT LOVE.

If he was my ‘husband’ and he told me he was gonna start seeing other girls I would be THRILLED, pack his shit and toss him out the door with it.

Your head is messing with you because you are allowing it. STOP. You need a real life support system to help you.

I’d get as far away from him as I possibly could and NEVER allow him into my head or my life again. DO THAT.
 sutherncutee001
Joined: 11/11/2011
Msg: 42
did he ever love me at all?
Posted: 5/27/2012 7:43:49 AM
sweetheart I am sorry to say no. he never loved you. He used you. You nor any of the things you did for him will fix him ot make him love you. Move on no matter how much it hurts. There will be someone who will work and support you and be a true partner. Who you can actually have a life and a relationship with. Make a list of rules of things you expect and things you will not accept from someone you want to be in a relationship with. top of the list being they must treat you with respect and have a job.
 TC2u
Joined: 6/22/2011
Msg: 43
view profile
History
did he ever love me at all?
Posted: 5/27/2012 8:34:47 AM
From what you painted, the guy's a scumbag. Move on, and get over it. You'll be much better off.
 Extollere
Joined: 2/21/2012
Msg: 46
did he ever love me at all?
Posted: 5/28/2012 11:28:09 AM

This is really ironic but he reads the Bible. He can even do a verbatim on it. He can talk about it and explain it to anyone who would want to listen. He goes to church every Saturday well almost anyways. He is a 6'2'' black young guy slim. He has an attractive face and physique. Before he got incarcerated, he was a GED teacher. Only one semester left before he will get his Bachelor's in Education. He can talk to anyone from all walks of life. He is confident. Very charming. He cooks. He does groceries. He cleans the house. He will open doors like a gentleman. He can talk like a thug from the south side. But he can also talk like an educated man from the north side. He is the best lover in bed. We go to the library, the parks, visit his family, visit my family. I guess that's about it.


So basically he's a guy who does stuff. And has a few interests. This is all it takes? Really?


He will open doors like a gentleman.


Most of the men at my job do this on a daily basis. My coworkers and I aren't in love with them for it.


But I will ask my family's opinion if I ever date another guy. And respect their decision. Because I would mess up if I would lean on my own judgment like what happened with me and my husband.


Pardon the expression, but "man up." You made an awful decision, yes, but don't you think it's more beneficial for you to learn how to make good decisions? Don't rely on other people to give you the red or green light with regard to your own relationships. Part of being an adult is learning how to fine tune your judgment. Stop the flower wilting in the sun routine. You know better than that.


did he ever love me at all?


Nobody will know this but him. But it's a bit silly to be concerned with it now, isn't it? Focus your energy on what you need to do to get yourself in order. You've got a lot of work to do.
 Fleuron
Joined: 8/18/2010
Msg: 47
did he ever love me at all?
Posted: 5/28/2012 11:54:54 AM

But but but....he reads the bible and has a big c0ck..and holds open the door for her.


Wait….how’d I miss the big c0ck? Does he hold the door open with it? : )
 DameWrite
Joined: 2/27/2010
Msg: 48
view profile
History
did he ever love me at all?
Posted: 5/28/2012 11:55:46 AM
I believe you are suffering from...withdraw from fantasy. If he was good to you at times it's because it worked for HIM to play nice. He is a con artist. Your pity for him is sick.

I think someone didn't get any help in feeling that they are worthwhile. I'm talking about you now. Move away from your parents.
I think you were trying to be a good girl (what you think is good) and forgive and understand and not irritate or be stingy. This is seriously messed up "no value" thinking. You gave in order to receive.

You should KNOW you matter, not have to prove you do by submitting.

You are seriously messed up with what you think is O.K.

You have helped this man this man hurt others. Find out why and never support/enable again.

Learn to love yourself. Learn what love means first though.
 Greyeyez29
Joined: 4/22/2012
Msg: 49
did he ever love me at all?
Posted: 5/28/2012 2:01:07 PM
homeless, unemployed, and a felon should of been a BIG RED FLAG!! DUH
 Giggles10000
Joined: 6/17/2011
Msg: 52
did he ever love me at all?
Posted: 5/28/2012 2:48:46 PM
Op--never mind if he loves you or not--you need to examine why you don't love yourself anymore than to be involved with him--and buy yourself a jack rabbit (ask for it by name) then your dependance on a man for great sex will be less.
 Fleuron
Joined: 8/18/2010
Msg: 54
did he ever love me at all?
Posted: 5/28/2012 4:08:37 PM

Is it OK to date other men now then?


Are you still married? Please don’t replace one bad habit with another. Take some time to get this guy out of your system, out of your life, and get legally divorced before trying to start a relationship with someone new. That wouldn’t be very fair to a new guy, would it?

Also. If you go guy hunting while you’re wounded, you will attract the type of man who will exploit you, and hurt you again.


I guess I am very attracted to his face, his height, his slim body, the way he dresses, the way he smiles. I love it when we watch movies together. I love it when we go to sleep and our bodies are intertwine together. I love it when we go to parks, beaches, and just driving around and we are together.


This guy requires too high a price for your FEELINGS of love. You need to learn how to take care of yourself, and be happy and content with yourself.

You should find a counselor of some kind in real life to help you. You need real life support. If you don’t work on yourself, you’re gonna be vulnerable to having him sweet talk his way back into your life, and it will be that much harder to end next time.
 Extollere
Joined: 2/21/2012
Msg: 55
did he ever love me at all?
Posted: 5/28/2012 4:53:25 PM

I dunno. I guess I am very attracted to his face, his height, his slim body, the way he dresses, the way he smiles. I love it when we watch movies together. I love it when we go to sleep and our bodies are intertwine together. I love it when we go to parks, beaches, and just driving around and we are together.


Sounds like puppy love to me. Okay, we get it, he's cute. He takes you to the park. Whatever. He's a felon. And a cheater. And a user. I'm not sure how you're able to overlook that part just because he's cute, slim, and dresses like a boss. You're totally loving his drama, methinks. You are defending a very, very disturbed individual.


If he were to seduce you right now, I bet you would come begging for him to do it to you again.


Oh gawd. Raise your standards. Even Johnny Depp naked on a bed of lettuce wouldn't interest me if he had half of your man's issues. Eff that.
 moraima
Joined: 6/26/2005
Msg: 56
view profile
History
did he ever love me at all?
Posted: 5/28/2012 5:03:38 PM
" I was already too attached to him to remove myself from him


I bet that if he was standing with you right now, you'd be conned as well and maybe you'd be more than destroyed than I would be."

I hope you don't really believe that most people would still love a person after they found out about the damage he has done to children.

Most people would realize that the person that they thought they love never existed.

Most people wouldn't be able to have sex with someone who had sexually abusive to children. Most people would never be able to be anywhere near that person, let alone be intimate with them.

Seriously OP, get help for your issues if you think you are/were too attached to him after you found out about the sexual abuse with children.

Sounds more like you don't think that sexual abuse of children by your husband is a big deal. If he hadn't told you that he has the right to have sex with other women and had sex with your neighbour you would still be with him.

He doesn't know what love is, and neither do you.
 cooldog65
Joined: 6/27/2011
Msg: 57
view profile
History
did he ever love me at all?
Posted: 5/29/2012 2:30:28 AM
Consult an attorney and see if this marriage can be annulled. After that, file a no contact order. He is toxic to you.
 Confuzzled4ever
Joined: 6/9/2005
Msg: 59
did he ever love me at all?
Posted: 6/16/2012 11:48:21 AM
You married a felon.. knowingly..

you asked for it..

can some of them shape up and do well?? sure! You didn't find one of those..

You didn't think before you said I do. Such a short-lived relationship with a pregnant woman outside the marriage suggest a whirl-wind relationship with you without any real thought put into it.

let see,.. you supported him, supplied him with a car and whatever else he needed and let him run around and do what he wanted.. and all he had to do was say i do.. good deal for him dontcha think???

Did he ever love you??? Who knows? Did you really know him??? Obviously not...

Moral of the story?? don't date felons??? get to know the person you marry before you marry them???
 TRESemme1
Joined: 6/4/2012
Msg: 60
did he ever love me at all?
Posted: 6/16/2012 12:57:46 PM
Well, I followed everyone's advice on here and I feel a lot better now compared to when I started this thread. I do not really cry anymore. I do not really get that hurt anymore. But I do still think of him everyday still. But at least not as obsessive as before.

Yeah, I will not go back to him anymore. I am slowly seeing him as a loser who can never go up in life. The only thing that he can do to support himself is to bounce from one black woman to another who can support his sorry arse. If he and that neighbor won't last long, he will most likely go to another black girl. If they last long, good for them. And these women that he is potentially targeting at are low income earners. Good for him. They can smoke weed all they want. And have babies again. And rely on the government to feed them, support their unplanned kids, give them free phones. They be rapping about their situation, complaining that they are being discriminated upon. He can have that broke down car. It's not too far that he may get arrested again because he lives in a crime ridden area.

I am doing good now. Am not limping as much as I was before. Good riddance to my ever loving and faithful husband.
 Fleuron
Joined: 8/18/2010
Msg: 61
did he ever love me at all?
Posted: 6/16/2012 1:36:44 PM
OP. I recommend you get legally divorced as soon as you possibly can. Being legally responsible for him is NOT in your best interest.

As the charming and sweet cooldog65 suggested, look into an annulment. Protect yourself. You may be rid of his body, but he is still legally bound to you. Don’t let him screw you over even more.
 OutMind
Joined: 2/13/2007
Msg: 63
did he ever love me at all?
Posted: 6/17/2012 6:46:02 AM
You need to get rid of this guy. Divorce him. Life is not going to get better, but worse. The cycle will continue, and every time you think he is going to change, he will not.

At this point you have nobody to blame but your self. So leave him NOW.
 AnAustralianWoman
Joined: 4/26/2012
Msg: 64
did he ever love me at all?
Posted: 6/17/2012 8:01:28 AM
OP you look great for 61.....What's your secret? Marrying Jerks?
Not only does this guy not love you and probably never did, but he also disrespects you.....YET You still take him back time after time.....Do you get off on pain?
I have no sympathy for you at age 61 you should know better!
Be a doormat and he will wipe his feet on you.
 TRESemme1
Joined: 6/4/2012
Msg: 65
did he ever love me at all?
Posted: 6/17/2012 10:37:33 AM

OP you look great for 61.....What's your secret? Marrying Jerks?
Not only does this guy not love you and probably never did, but he also disrespects you.....YET You still take him back time after time.....Do you get off on pain?
I have no sympathy for you at age 61 you should know better!
Be a doormat and he will wipe his feet on you.


Thanks if you think that I look great for 61. I feel young all of a sudden. JK.

No, I do not get off on pain. I am 28 years old actually. He has floored me already. Just trying to remove my own mat to my aunt's house.
 AnAustralianWoman
Joined: 4/26/2012
Msg: 66
did he ever love me at all?
Posted: 6/19/2012 7:08:18 AM
Msg 68 noticed your 'earlier profile' regarding your age
Your profile says you're 61 but then lower down you say you're 21. Then in your thread here you say you're 28

Geez, you don't even know how old you are, let alone what the hell is going on with your personal life.
Why all the lie's?
 Ladyinred4755
Joined: 1/30/2012
Msg: 67
did he ever love me at all?
Posted: 7/9/2013 10:45:28 AM
Congratulations! .............I truly hope you learned something from this experience and don't repeat it. To quote the bible, mentioned in your earlier posts, "Love thy neighbor, as thyself". Love YOURSELF first, gain self confidence, and respect. People most often treat you, the way you allow them to. ....Best wishes!
 LoneScottishBoy
Joined: 2/13/2012
Msg: 68
view profile
History
did he ever love me at all?
Posted: 7/9/2013 11:13:14 AM

Been divorced since December 2012. Glad I got over him in less than a year compared to other people who spend years getting over the love of their lives.


Sounded more like a hard core attraction, but it's still a little shocking to see how vulnerable you can be when your hormones take over.
Glad to see you up and about. :)

Maybe there is one out there who makes you feel that way AND is a great human being.
 domainfullduplex100
Joined: 12/21/2012
Msg: 69
view profile
History
did he ever love me at all?
Posted: 7/9/2013 6:51:57 PM
why do I find it hard to believe the OPs story at all lol..anyway, it's an old story...she's over him and moved on.
Glad you see him as a loser now. You certainly were a loser when you were with him... i somehow find the whole thing hard to believe....trolling? u betcha
 forums1
Joined: 2/14/2010
Msg: 70
did he ever love me at all?
Posted: 7/9/2013 7:48:54 PM

Posted: 6/17/2012 1033 AM

Thanks if you think that I look great for 61. I feel young all of a sudden. JK.

No, I do not get off on pain. I am 28 years old actually.



Msg 68 noticed your 'earlier profile' regarding your age

Your profile says you're 61 but then lower down you say you're 21. Then in your thread here you say you're 28

Geez, you don't even know how old you are, let alone what the hell is going on with your personal life.
Why all the lie's?


And her profile now, a year after she said she was "28" in a post, or is that 21? or 61? ... now she has:


39 year old Woman, 5' 5" (165cm)
Marital Status: Single


I kinda need to ask then why any of us should believe anything you've said? Seriously, your age a year ago was either 21, 28, or 61, but now (a year later) its 39... and you're not sure why your life was so full of drama?
 NtvNtv
Joined: 5/15/2013
Msg: 71
did he ever love me at all?
Posted: 7/9/2013 9:07:18 PM
: (

He is not capable of loving ...............its not you.
He was like this *BEFORE* you met him....you DID NOT make him this way.

Run and don't look back. Should you see him with another woman BELIEVE ME he will be just as disrespectful towards her as he was to you.

Take care my dear.
 forums1
Joined: 2/14/2010
Msg: 72
did he ever love me at all?
Posted: 7/10/2013 8:45:51 PM

Yeah, I do acknowledge about these different ages I put on here. If you think that that is too much drama then so be it for you.


I do miss how it used to show the 'last 5 forum posts' in a profile way back when.

I only have *one* birthday, it's mine (and probably that of many others), in a few weeks actually, I'm not ashamed of the fact or feel any need to lie about it. It is what it is. If I were to meet someone who lied about their age, it would be over, then and there, when I found out - what else have they lied about?


You know, people pour their hearts out in here and the others just want to tear them to shreds and make fun of them.


It's quite interesting when one can claim they are "pouring their hearts out" (most people assUme there that means "in all honesty") about something - when they then blatantly admit things on their profile (which presumably are there for people then intent do *date* and *trust*) are outright lies. Can you really blame someone for not believing something you are "claiming" is coming from your heart, when you can't even be honest about something as simple as your age?
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