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Show ALL Forums  > Dating Experiences  > So I did not kiss her on the the first date. Good or bad sign?      Home login  
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 RedDelPaPa
Joined: 5/21/2011
Msg: 26
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So I did not kiss her on the the first date. Good or bad sign?Page 2 of 5    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5)

Kissing on the first date when you're unsure about how the other person will take it is not a good move. You did right not kissing her. See how things go next time you see her.


This right here is total crud and I'll explain why. If he was unsure on the first date, he'll likely be unsure again on the 2nd or 3rd date. Very few men are EVER completely SURE a woman wants you to kiss her unless she grabs you and tells you to friggin kiss her already. There is almost always some doubt. 99% of the time, men have to go off trying to read female body language and 99% of men are completely oblivious to it, or mediocre at best in reading it. This leave most girls wondering what the hell, he must not be interested in me.

So, if you're attracted to her, and the date went well, and she's standing in close proximity to you, and you make eye contact, respectfully move in for a good night kiss. She won't hold it against you, and you'll feel better about yourself and the date in general.
 charningreek
Joined: 3/24/2012
Msg: 27
So I did not kiss her on the the first date. Good or bad sign?
Posted: 5/28/2012 8:58:23 AM
You shoulg talk to HER about it like you wrote, Women are not mind readers
 charningreek
Joined: 3/24/2012
Msg: 28
So I did not kiss her on the the first date. Good or bad sign?
Posted: 5/28/2012 9:00:12 AM
ask for her permission. Try it , it works.
 catchnrelease71
Joined: 10/11/2011
Msg: 29
So I did not kiss her on the the first date. Good or bad sign?
Posted: 5/28/2012 9:30:17 AM
Good, bad... It's all relative. I'm sure I've blown a few by not kissing, but there was really only 1 or 2 that I wanted to kiss. I've definitely given out and gotten what feels like the friendship hug many times although it took me until recently to figure that out.

I went out with a woman last week and it was unlike any before. We had decent conversation, but this woman was so open and affectionate that it would have almost been impossible not to kiss at the end. I definitely wanted to kiss her as she was gorgeous, but I really didn't and don't know much about her other than our brief conversations prior. Almost like it was too much too fast. I went out of town right after that date about 4 days ago and now I'm back. Sent her an email to touch base and so far no response so I definitely don't have the answer, but I think going with your gut is the right approach.

Good luck on the 2nd date.
 RedDelPaPa
Joined: 5/21/2011
Msg: 30
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So I did not kiss her on the the first date. Good or bad sign?
Posted: 5/28/2012 12:56:31 PM

ask for her permission. Try it , it works.


Dude. Asking for permission to kiss a girl is one of, if not the top wussy moves a man can make. While you're at it, why don't you lay down at her feet belly up and ask for permission to rub her feet?

No Op, don't do this. It's pathetic, and terrible advice.
 ohenryx
Joined: 3/12/2010
Msg: 31
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So I did not kiss her on the the first date. Good or bad sign?
Posted: 5/29/2012 1:08:25 PM
RedDelPaPa
Dude. Asking for permission to kiss a girl is one of, if not the top wussy moves a man can make.


I just tried to think of anything that would be more wussifed than asking a woman for permission to kiss her, and I couldn't come up with a single thing. Not one.

Kiss her, or don't kiss her. But for crying out loud, do not ask!
 Jimbojim_1983
Joined: 7/7/2011
Msg: 32
So I did not kiss her on the the first date. Good or bad sign?
Posted: 5/29/2012 5:55:26 PM
If I go on a date and I like the girl I'm spending time with, I go for the kiss (providing I can read that she is enjoying herself). It can happen within the first hour or at the very end. Only 2 outcomes here : she kisses you back or she pushes you away. Never insist though as a no is a NO but the woman can't blame you for trying to kiss her if you felt that she has enjoyed your company. If you see that she is bored, annoyed or whatever else negative, a polite hug will do.

I have always believed that, if I don't try to kiss my date during our first outing when we both had a good time, she will think I'm a wuss. Old school train of thought maybe but it works.
 gtomustang
Joined: 6/16/2007
Msg: 33
So I did not kiss her on the the first date. Good or bad sign?
Posted: 5/30/2012 5:46:57 AM
Generally speaking, you could invade her space (lean in to brush off imaginary lint, etc) and see how she reacts (pulls away and stays away, pulls back in surprise then moves back in when she realizes what's up, doesn't pull back at all, etc). Google "IOI", you may get some help there, too.

If you two are meant to be, then not busting a move looks good. If you two are meant to be, then busting a move looks good, too. In other words, the advice here is both right, even when it contradicts. If you are aggressive enough to make a move, and she's aggressive, it'll go over well. if you are aggressive and she's turned off by guys in the past who were...then you never had a chance acting contrary to your nature, anyway.
 Blackout478
Joined: 5/1/2011
Msg: 34
So I did not kiss her on the the first date. Good or bad sign?
Posted: 5/30/2012 11:28:24 AM
Well, only thing that will tell you whether you should have or shouldn't have is if you got a call or text after and a possible set time for another date. If you don't hear from her again, then maybe its best you didn't kiss her as she might not of been feeling you.
 trh1268
Joined: 2/26/2007
Msg: 35
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So I did not kiss her on the the first date. Good or bad sign?
Posted: 5/30/2012 3:36:47 PM
If your 1st date says ''i have to go'', do not kiss her, if she wants to go the distance with you, then kiss her.
 WhyIsEverythingITypeTaken
Joined: 5/24/2012
Msg: 36
So I did not kiss her on the the first date. Good or bad sign?
Posted: 5/30/2012 9:05:03 PM
why don't you just ask her if you want to kiss her. I know it might ruin the excitement of not knowing, but at least both of you are clear on the boundaries and stuff.
 zzumbagirl
Joined: 1/4/2013
Msg: 37
So I did not kiss her on the the first date. Good or bad sign?
Posted: 3/29/2013 12:52:49 AM
I think it can definitely be awkward at the end of a date. I tend to like a kiss, unless there is really no chemistry ~ if there is chemistry and no kiss, it seems like a let down. Maybe that is just me..... but if there are mixed signals or uncertainty, hug. You cannot go Wrong with a hug.... and who knows, sometimes a hug can turn into a kiss? :D
 bluefish7070
Joined: 11/28/2012
Msg: 38
So I did not kiss her on the the first date. Good or bad sign?
Posted: 3/29/2013 2:11:58 AM
if you want to kiss her and she wants to kiss you........then KISS!

how do you know if she wants to be kissed?
if the date went on longer than planned, if you talked naturally about many topics, if she smiles and laughs a lot...

a kiss can tell you more than you think about a person.
 tnt144
Joined: 2/1/2013
Msg: 39
So I did not kiss her on the the first date. Good or bad sign?
Posted: 3/29/2013 6:37:56 AM
If she goes for the 2nd date, you may still be in the game. Ask and find out.

Don't worry about the kiss - as long as you kiss her in within the first 3 dates it will keep you out of the friend's zone.
 SimpleCltMan
Joined: 11/11/2011
Msg: 40
So I did not kiss her on the the first date. Good or bad sign?
Posted: 3/29/2013 7:55:06 AM
OP,

You did the right thing. I am on the side of no kiss or gentle peck on the first date. When I am unsure, go with the hug and walk away. You feel good about and she probably does too as there was no pressure.
 MRGETITTOGO
Joined: 3/6/2013
Msg: 41
So I did not kiss her on the the first date. Good or bad sign?
Posted: 3/29/2013 10:22:13 PM
if there is alot of touching during the 1st date and she is comfortable with you touching her, then atleast go for a cheek kiss and see how she responds. in my experience, if she is not comfortable with you touching her or its just a "friend" vibe in the air with no sexual tension in sight, she definitely is not ready for a kiss. get the hug and get out of there. a general rule is if u arent the best at dating and reading people just wait till the 2nd or 3rd date to go for the kiss. if the attraction thats needed for a kiss hasnt been built by then, its most likely never going to happen and youre going to be in "friend zone".
 QT3.18
Joined: 2/1/2013
Msg: 42
So I did not kiss her on the the first date. Good or bad sign?
Posted: 3/30/2013 12:00:05 AM

You did the right thing. I am on the side of no kiss or gentle peck on the first date. When I am unsure, go with the hug and walk away. You feel good about and she probably does too as there was no pressure.


Perfect.
 PugDude1971
Joined: 2/13/2013
Msg: 43
So I did not kiss her on the the first date. Good or bad sign?
Posted: 4/10/2013 7:50:43 AM
Perhaps I'm just too old-fashioned, been out of the dating game for too long, or simply not familiar with how online dating works, but I can't imagine myself kissing a woman on the first date. The first date is your chance to prove to her that you aren't psycho or trying to pass something over on her with 10 year-old pics. Make a good impression and ask for the second date. If you get another date, then you have the green light. But for the first date, I'd probably try to end on a nice hug.

Obviously, I'll defer to women on this. Maybe today's women want their dates to go in for the kill on the first date... Maybe I just didn't get the memo.
 wolftxusa66
Joined: 3/13/2013
Msg: 44
So I did not kiss her on the the first date. Good or bad sign?
Posted: 4/10/2013 9:06:26 AM


You did the right thing. I am on the side of no kiss or gentle peck on the first date. When I am unsure, go with the hug and walk away. You feel good about and she probably does too as there was no pressure.

Perfect.


Yawn!!! I've never been 'unsure', it's never been 'awkward', and I only kiss if I know she wants it, too. It's not that hard. If you don't know by the end of the first date, what exactly were you doing on that date? I'm with Cowboy - no kiss, no second date. What is all the talk about 'pressure'? "OMG, OMG, we had a great first date and I'd like to see him again - what if he kisses me?" I've outgrown that high school mentality and prefer adults, who look at the good-bye kiss as a nice reminder to plan for the second date.
 LifeisGr82me
Joined: 3/29/2010
Msg: 45
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So I did not kiss her on the the first date. Good or bad sign?
Posted: 4/10/2013 10:28:31 AM
I just found this thread and so glad I did!
So here's my question.....Met a super nice guy on another site about 6 weeks ago. We talked via msgs then phone then met for the first time at a local coffe shop. Week later we went out to dinner. PERFECT gentleman, openned doors, pulled out the chair, helped me get my jacket back on etc. Hug good night. Perfect. 2nd date was 2 weeks later due to family obligations for both of us. Again, great night. Started out w/a walk in a local park, went to one restaurant for drinks then to another one for dinner and drinks. Great conversation the entire time. BUT I noticed not once while we were walking did he attempt to hold my hand nor did he put his arm around me. When we were saying good night it was a great hug, he kissed me on the cheek and got in his car. Hmmm??? 2nd date, 3rd time meeting I kinda expected it. Should I have grabbed his hand when we were walking in the park? Or is it b/c he is such a nice guy (and truly he is) that he doesnt' want to push? I've been single only 3 yrs after married for 27 yrs. He's been single somewhat longer but not in serious relationship for 3 or 4 yrs. I'm all about going slow but not dead! We are talking about going out again this wknd. Should I make the first move or let him? Or maybe talk about it? Appreciate the feedback.
 beabillionaire
Joined: 1/28/2013
Msg: 46
So I did not kiss her on the the first date. Good or bad sign?
Posted: 4/10/2013 10:31:52 AM
The OP hasnt even posted again in about a year. I would be curious if he got a second date.

Anyone saying don't kiss on the first date... that rule may work in dating in the REAL WORLD, but with online dating, especially with women, they can move on so fast, you need to make your move. NO I don't mean rape her. A pretty girl on POF can already have 5 other dates lined up, so you better show her you want her. It's called confidence.

All this "no vibes" crap is bullsh*t! Most likely you are just bad with "vibes" which I am not even entirely sure what you mean. I used to be gunshy with kissing, even "asking" for a kiss long time ago (which I quickly learned is the WORST thing to do). If she is smiling, laughing with you, maybe touching you, just go for it.

If you don't get a second date, and you didn't kiss her on the first night, you will ALWAYS wonder if that is why you didn't advance. By kissing on the first date, or trying to, you can get that thought out of your head. if she rejects your kiss, she wasn't into you in the first place. So now you know why you didn't get a 2nd date.

I'm not sure what or when the right moment is, but I know that when I go for the kiss I think 9/10 times I got it. The only time I did not, it was a very classy lady and she said "I never kiss on the first date," and then I never saw her again lol. So I KNEW she wasn't interested.
 wolftxusa66
Joined: 3/13/2013
Msg: 47
So I did not kiss her on the the first date. Good or bad sign?
Posted: 4/10/2013 10:36:06 AM
LifeIsGr8: The only explanation I have is that he is also dating others and wants to prolong his decision making. The later the kiss, the later the sex. This buys him more time with everybody. Or he's just the slow type. Or gay. Or married. Or not really interested in more than friendship. I have a hard time trying to think like that, because when it comes to romance and there is a spark, 10 horses couldn't hold me back...

The main thing is that it works for you.


Date 7 diary entry:
He lovingly filled the hot water bottle since I mentioned I would like to feel some warmth. He is such a gentleman. Should I be so daring as to kiss him or am I rushing things?
 browneyesboo
Joined: 5/19/2005
Msg: 48
So I did not kiss her on the the first date. Good or bad sign?
Posted: 4/10/2013 10:39:04 AM
The only time I don't like kisses is when I don't like
the person kissing me.

If I don't want you kissing me, you'll have no problem
figuring that out.

I don't understand why you wouldn't want a kiss from
someone you really like...who cares if it's your first date?

Of course, there are kisses and then there are KISSES, but
sometimes a kiss is just a kiss...I've never associated
them with promises or proposals.
 staffmom
Joined: 12/1/2010
Msg: 49
So I did not kiss her on the the first date. Good or bad sign?
Posted: 4/11/2013 7:51:02 PM
Here's my take:
After a few hours of talking, the guy should be able to figure out if he likes me enough to kiss me. It's a kiss, people, not a marriage proposal.
If a guy chooses not to kiss me after spending a few hours together, that's fine. I'll also assume that he doesn't want to see me again... UNLESS he tells me otherwise and then follows up the next day with a phone call.

What makes me scratch my head in confusion are the guys that you spend a few hours with, get along well, he says he wants to see you again, and kisses you and then.... POOF... never heard from again.
If you are a guy and have no intention of contacting me again, Please... do NOT kiss me.
 35brock
Joined: 3/20/2013
Msg: 50
So I did not kiss her on the the first date. Good or bad sign?
Posted: 4/11/2013 7:55:20 PM

It's not always a bad sign. I had first dates that involved kissing and there wasn't a second date. I also had first dates without kissing and there was a second date.


Same thing has happened to me.
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