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 lotustemple
Joined: 10/23/2011
Msg: 35
Going out with guys on here as friends (when in relationship)Page 2 of 4    (1, 2, 3, 4)
Just watched a film on high end call girls charging $1000's for an evening date which does not always include sex. A dinner and movie date from POF is pennies in comparion and maybe some guys just want the company of an attractive woman? If you are clear and honest about your intentions and availability why not? If you and your boyfriend don't draw boundaries for one another, do as you please. It sounds a little messed up, like you are using your boyfriend until someone better comes along. If you were genuinely inlove with him you wouldn't be asking this.
 mrmisterme
Joined: 6/7/2009
Msg: 36
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Going out with guys on here as friends (when in relationship)
Posted: 5/26/2012 12:08:33 PM
No mr Im starting my own business. I changed it from sales to self employed but thanks for being a**** And deertaint people are so judgemental on here its ridiculous.


Are they as judgemental as you, Domo? If you noticed, I didn't call you any names. Good luck with your business - hope it's nothing to do with people interaction because your attitude might bankrupt you.
 DeerTaint
Joined: 4/3/2012
Msg: 37
Going out with guys on here as friends (when in relationship)
Posted: 5/26/2012 12:16:15 PM

Not exactly high on the smart meter is she.

So you read her posting history then? LOL

I'm still trying to figure out how the she is finding all these guys to do things for her. I mean she gets engaged at the drop of a hat. I'm not trying to sound mean but she's not the brightest bulb in the socket on top of it. Is it her age and her naiveté? Is it her neediness and damsel act? Is it her being unemployed and mooching off people for free meals? Someone help me out here? Or is it just because she has a vagina?
 Walts
Joined: 5/7/2005
Msg: 38
Going out with guys on here as friends (when in relationship)
Posted: 5/26/2012 12:25:24 PM
Probably already suggested,but if ya buy a bunch of condoms, these guys and you will quickly be able to come up with a way for ya to make up for that money that you don't have because you don't have a job. It's kinda like a win win situation. Well, that is,as long your present boyfriend doesn't mind the potential critters that will be wandering around soon enough. At least this thread made my hangover go away. Thanks!!!!!!! :)
 playfulpete
Joined: 2/23/2007
Msg: 39
Going out with guys on here as friends (when in relationship)
Posted: 5/26/2012 12:27:38 PM
She isn,t the dumb one ,it is the Boyfreind and the guys taking her out for something to eat.The guys are willing to take her out knowing full well she has a boyfrend........now that is DUMB.And the boyfreind is putting up wiith it.
 Blackout478
Joined: 5/1/2011
Msg: 40
Going out with guys on here as friends (when in relationship)
Posted: 5/26/2012 12:53:29 PM
I highly doubt she would be okay with her boyfriend going out with women strangers under the guise of them being friends, because she wouldn't be posting on here trying to get opinions from other people on if what she is doing is wrong. Why would you need to question your actions if you find it perfectly acceptable for your boyfriend to do? Friends are people you built a trust relationship with and know. These are strangers. Your boyfriend is one lucky man.
 MetalVixxn
Joined: 4/4/2007
Msg: 41
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Going out with guys on here as friends (when in relationship)
Posted: 5/26/2012 8:45:25 PM
How about you ask your boyfriend what he thinks?
Or just break up with him so you can arrange a free meal every night of the week without feeling guilty - if you're even capable of feeling guilt. Prostitution is legal is some areas.
 mrsforums
Joined: 6/14/2011
Msg: 42
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Going out with guys on here as friends (when in relationship)
Posted: 5/26/2012 9:39:06 PM
Going out with strangers and letting them buy you dinner is NOT how you make new friends. Especially strange men that you are meeting from a dating site.

Your post does come across as selfish and disrespectful to your boyfriend. I would say that it's a very rare man who would encourage his girlfriend to meet with strange men so that they can buy her drinks/meals.

If you need to fill your time while you look for work, try volunteering at a local hospital, retirement home, animal shelter or ... something that's not all about YOU.

MrsF
 Arata_na_Yoake
Joined: 1/25/2012
Msg: 43
Going out with guys on here as friends (when in relationship)
Posted: 5/26/2012 9:45:04 PM
This sounds like a very sketchy idea OP. If you're looking for friends or something to do I'd recommend a group activity site like [meetup.com] or something. I mean, just think of how an explanation to your boyfriend would go:

"These guys I met on a DATING website just want to be friends and get dinner/drinks."

...Come on.
 im_a_rockstar
Joined: 12/29/2011
Msg: 44
Going out with guys on here as friends (when in relationship)
Posted: 5/26/2012 10:12:42 PM
Just backing everyone up... jobs ARE VERY HARD TO FIND right now. Even McDonalds doesn't want you if you have no experience working in a McDonalds. The job market is really getting out of control. Yeah, there's a ton of jobs out there, but there's very few entry level jobs.

Now to the OP. You're meeting guys on a dating site. You're meeting guys that are here looking for someone to date. Consider yourself lucky if your BF doesn't immediately dump you when he finds out what you've been doing.
 forums1
Joined: 2/14/2010
Msg: 45
Going out with guys on here as friends (when in relationship)
Posted: 5/26/2012 10:29:36 PM
I think this boils down to 2 things.

1) Would you be ok, if you were employed and your BF lost his job, with him going out to meet up with women from the internet, to take them out for drinks/meals? If not, you shouldn't be expecting something of him that you wouldn't accept in reverse.

And *THE 100% MOST IMPORTANT* item, CRITICAL to the future health of your relationship (if you have any intentions of keeping it and aren't trolling for "something better" going out with these guys...

2) HAVE YOU TALKED TO YOUR BOYFRIEND ABOUT IT? Seriously, what any of us here think is totally irrelevant - if you talk to your BF about it and he's ok with it, then go for it, if he's not, then don't. If you are planning on doing this without talking to him about it, without his knowledge (aka, "behind his back"), then honestly do *him* a favor and just break up with him, because *he* deserves better than that.

If it were me, in your shoes - no, I wouldn't even consider it. The only 4 women I'd consider that with are 1) my mom, 2) my sister, and 3&4) two close (and never involved, nor any interest on both sides) female friends, that I've known for 10+ (one pushing 20) years - and even then I would make sure that my GF knew about it beforehand.
 RD2112
Joined: 8/7/2010
Msg: 46
Going out with guys on here as friends (when in relationship)
Posted: 5/26/2012 11:11:23 PM
As others have said before...how would you feel if your BF was doing the same to you? If you feel the need to go meet others then you have to reevalute things and ask yourself if you are in a happy relationship, are your needs fullfilled, do you want to be in this relationship and what are you really after? You might be depressed bc of the whole job situation and you need company to feel better. That is a slippery slope to walk on. If your replationship is that open, the rules have been established and its clear that you too will see others for dates or just meets, then its ok but obviously thats not the case here.

Apparently there are many guys that want to take women out and think that if they pay then the woman should pay her way with sex. Heard this many times. Women don't owe a guy anything for paying for the date. Her keeping a guy company at the eatery or pub was her part of the deal...paid in full. If a anyone is willing to sleep with a woman that will trade sex for a couple drinks or a meal then you need to skip over her.
 surfaceofficer
Joined: 8/8/2011
Msg: 47
Going out with guys on here as friends (when in relationship)
Posted: 5/26/2012 11:19:58 PM

some of the guys I have spoken to have told me they don't mind me being in a relationship and can understand 'the just friends' rule


No they can't. They just fancy themselves more capable of talking you out of your position...and into a more compromising one. End of story.
 licoricecat_1
Joined: 11/23/2008
Msg: 48
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Going out with guys on here as friends (when in relationship)
Posted: 5/27/2012 1:53:21 AM
I understand what you mean have male friends to go out with. Deep down your boyfriend would always wonder if something was happening. This just complicates a relationship. It will bother him. Don/t do it. Try to volunteer if you cannot work. Create your own job and advertise your skills. It helps with self dignity and to get self respect. The job situation is tough especially when you haven/t worked in a while no one wants to give you a chance. Volunteer just for a reference and to keep you busy and give you a title when ppl ask you what you do. There are a lot of volunteers out there. Then sell yourself and advertise your skills. Get some business cards and network when you go out.
 TampaFly1981
Joined: 5/22/2012
Msg: 49
Going out with guys on here as friends (when in relationship)
Posted: 5/27/2012 2:17:08 AM

I understand what you mean have male friends to go out with. Deep down your boyfriend would always wonder if something was happening. This just complicates a relationship. It will bother him. Don/t do it. Try to volunteer if you cannot work. Create your own job and advertise your skills. It helps with self dignity and to get self respect. The job situation is tough especially when you haven/t worked in a while no one wants to give you a chance. Volunteer just for a reference and to keep you busy and give you a title when ppl ask you what you do. There are a lot of volunteers out there. Then sell yourself and advertise your skills. Get some business cards and network when you go out.


This sounds like solid advice from a solid person, I suggest the OP go with this.
 Pinky127
Joined: 1/7/2012
Msg: 50
Going out with guys on here as friends (when in relationship)
Posted: 5/27/2012 2:17:55 AM

I am wondering is it wrong if I go out and have some free fun drinks/meals etc...


Yes,it IS wrong.
Why would total strangers want to take you out and buy you drinks and dinner.....?????
Are you so starving that you cant stay home and cook yourself something?
Eggs,rice,bread,fruit and vegies.......all relatively inexpensive.
But,somehow i get the feeling you just want men spending money on you.
 cooldog65
Joined: 6/27/2011
Msg: 51
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Going out with guys on here as friends (when in relationship)
Posted: 5/27/2012 3:23:46 AM
OP..your boyfriend should do a Leykis 101 move on you and DTB (Dump that bi*ch)!
 FatBottomGirI
Joined: 6/28/2011
Msg: 52
Going out with guys on here as friends (when in relationship)
Posted: 5/27/2012 5:58:16 AM
Ask your boyfriend if he is okay with you seeing other guys. Also is it okay if boyfriend enjoys some dinners with pof women?
 amalefriend
Joined: 2/11/2012
Msg: 53
Going out with guys on here as friends (when in relationship)
Posted: 5/27/2012 6:05:51 AM
I think you are allowed to have male friends while dating if that is done diplomatically. However, when you speak about other men in terms of the prospect of free meals and drinks, particularly when you don't intend to date them and met them off a dating site, I think you are getting into murky (potentially problematic) waters. I think you should also be talking with your boyfriend about all of this.
 Rob3444
Joined: 11/14/2011
Msg: 54
Going out with guys on here as friends (when in relationship)
Posted: 5/27/2012 6:16:18 AM
When I get my new shinny POF girl she better not be trolling for dates.
 ezlivin313
Joined: 10/6/2006
Msg: 55
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Going out with guys on here as friends (when in relationship)
Posted: 5/27/2012 6:43:02 AM
Theres probably some innocence in this.. however this pretty much satisfies your job search thing now dont it. After all.. it must be a job to sift through all the wanna be friends whos willing to take you out. 80% of the drop dead gorgeous 20's 30's women I know and known dont feel comfy going out anywhere to do anything with out the security of having money in their pockets not earned by employment. Thats called pride my dear. Now heres a good part... even when out with a true friend having drinks or celebrating an occasion, someone offers to buy her a drink(due to it known we are friends) her reply is sure I'll have this and my friend will have his same. Thats called respect. If the fella dont like it.. ohh well. Try inviteing these wanna be friends out the same time as you and boyfriend go out. You'll see the results.. plenty of friends and or plenty of new boyfriends
 d2327h
Joined: 2/23/2012
Msg: 56
Going out with guys on here as friends (when in relationship)
Posted: 5/27/2012 7:37:30 AM
That's not right. Either re-evaluate your committed relationship or find some girlfriends who will buy your dinner for you. Same thing, right?
 playfulpete
Joined: 2/23/2007
Msg: 57
Going out with guys on here as friends (when in relationship)
Posted: 5/27/2012 8:01:42 AM
Her next thread on here will be that there are no decent men out there and men are all pigs.Ask your boyfreind if it is ok for you to date other guys,then come back and tell us what he says.
 dotcom68
Joined: 10/9/2011
Msg: 58
Going out with guys on here as friends (when in relationship)
Posted: 5/27/2012 8:11:26 AM
Well i do believe when you said you have applied for over 2500 jobs with no response but i am having problem with you going out to get a "free" fun and meals 2 question, does your boyfriend know you going out on this dates? secondly do you sleep with this guys? because if you don't one day you will sure meet a crazy dude that demands you PUT out and please don't cry RAPE. my only advice to you is to look for any job to keep you afloat even if its Mcdonalds. my other advice is for you to change your strategies of your application and the last is you need a special breakthrough deliverance.
 abelian
Joined: 1/12/2008
Msg: 59
Going out with guys on here as friends (when in relationship)
Posted: 5/27/2012 1:13:22 PM
There area few guys I have spoken to who understand I am in a relationship but still want to take me out and as I am currently unemployed and see the boyfriend 3 days a week, I am wondering is it wrong if I go out and have some free fun drinks/meals etc... If they know I am in a relationship.

If you're completely unethical, anything is ok.

Of course I know what the majority of you are going to say and I totally agree with you I am just wondering and asking for opinions as some of the guys I have spoken to have told me they don't mind me being in a relationship and can understand 'the just friends' rule.

Is that the rule that says if a girl is in a relationship, just try to get laid?

Opinions and thanks, whatever you do say will not make me offended angry or upset.

Personally, I think you know better.

I think you are allowed to have male friends while dating if that is done diplomatically.

No one has said otherwise, but the op isn't really talking about male friends, She's talking about going out with men she doesn't know, but met through a dating site whom she expects to pay for meals and entertainment when her boyfriend isn't around.
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