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 AUTHOR
 tbicon
Joined: 5/6/2012
Msg: 84
Less to choose the older we getPage 4 of 9    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9)
Well then the issue is why did you go into heart failure to begin with. Was it because a virus attacked your heart or because you were grossly overweight or diabetic, i.e., was it preventable or not? I have less compassion for those who are responsible for their failing health than I do for those who through no fault of their own aquired a deadly disease. And by the way, Potato or Potatoe, the image is the same.

Yea I do have the answer for most people. MOST people suffer from diseases THAT CAN BE PREVENTED with a little education and a little effort. If you don't eat right . . ITS YOUR FAULT. If you are overweight . . ITS YOUR FAULT. The answer is exercise and a healthy diet. Its always been that way.

If you smoke, eat lots of sugar and fried foods, don't exercise properly, put priority on money over health, etc., you suffer the consequences of your actions. Genes are only part of the picture. You have more control over your health destiny than your genes dictate. Lots of people want to let themselves off the hook by blaming their Genes. In my book that's no excuse. I happen to NOT have very good genes. Heart disease runs in my family. I decided long ago I was going to do something about it. My heart may take me out anyway, but right now in my later fifties, I have the endurance of an athlete, am medication free, and have great results from my health workups, from Cholesterol to Bloodwork to blood pressure, etc. And by the way, years ago, my HDL was tested at only 35 or so, so I decided to educate myself and bring it up by exercise. last I checked, it was 69. WE DO HAVE CONTROL OVER OUR OWN BODIES. So quit blaming your poor health on your genes and things beyond your control and start taking responsibility for your own body. IF YOU ARE FAT, QUITE STUFFING YOUR FACE. If y ou have a slow metabolism . . . SPEED IT UP BY EXERCISE. Its really simple in the end.

And one more thing, I don't have to apologize to you or anyone else for being proud how well I have taken care of myself over the years. I've put a lot of hard work into keeping myself trim and fit. I deserve to have an ego. I sure don't have to apologize to somebody who thinks having an ego "stinks". Maybe if more people thought better of themselves, they wouldn't allow their health to deteriorate to the extent they do. Egos ARE GOOD NOT BAD.
 ohenryx
Joined: 3/12/2010
Msg: 85
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History
Less to choose the older we get
Posted: 6/1/2012 1:29:09 PM

Nearly 40 years ago, when I was in my early 20’s



tbicon
Lets be honest, don't you mean your early to mid 30's?

No, that incident took place in 1973, when I was 22 years old. If memory serves, the name of the club was “U. S. Sams”. Five years later, when I was 27, I had overcome my fear of rejection. Something every man needs to learn.


ladyc4
IMO, desperation is a very bad thing for either gender to bring to Adventures in Modern Dating.

You’ve got me there. Bad choice of words on my part. Please substitute “really want to meet someone” for “desperately want to meet someone”.



This is going to cause men to give up.

Really? Words on a dating site forum?
A few reports by women giving their OPINION about some of the men who have contacted them?

This is my opinion, of course. And it is not even based on any scientific evidence, I’ll grant you that as well. But based on my reading here in the forums, there are a lot of men out there who are afraid of rejection. And having women talk about the men who approach them, using such harsh words, is bound to have a negative effect. I don’t think the average woman has a clue how afraid of rejection the average man really is. And I don’t think this theoretical “average woman” has a clue what it might feel like to read “ugly, fat, old, scraggly” and think those words might be applied to himself / herself.


Yeah? I ain’t feeling any hurt.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, we all know you’re tougher than an army mule. (smile)



I think we need to know what the #1 answer was-perhaps that was the cause of the perceived UNkindness?

As cowboy would say, “You’re pulling my tail, right?” We all know what the number one answer was, for both men and women.
 Paderic
Joined: 2/23/2010
Msg: 87
Less to choose the older we get
Posted: 6/1/2012 4:14:43 PM
I don't think anyone here who is looking for a mate now is concerned with how many women versus men there currently exist in their 80's and 90's.


I don't think you're reading what I'm posting. I said that the older we get, the fewer people there are to choose from. I didn't say it was a problem for people currently in their fifties or in their sixties, nor have I commented on whether the differences in population sizes are significant. I have only said there is a difference.

Roughly 4.3 million babies were born in 1957 (in the US). They are not all still living, so even now there are fewer people my age than there were 55 years ago. I expect that in another 55 years, there won't be very many of us left. Every time someone who was born in that year dies, there is one less person in that group.

There is no reason for women to feel there are no men or for men to feel they are such a rare comodity.


I haven't said anyone should feel anything, but that doesn't change the factual nature of anything I have said.


THE POPULATION OF MALES IN THE 60-74 AGE RANGE INCREASING IN AT A HIGHER RATE THAN FEMALES IN THAT AGE RANGE. Seriously, Pad, I think the wishful thinking is on your part, not on mine.


That's because you're reading something into my statements that isn't there. You seem to think I'm arguing a point that I'm not arguing.

By the way, do you understand basic calculus? If you did, you would understand that the factoid you posted above says almost nothing about how many people are in that age range.
 Paderic
Joined: 2/23/2010
Msg: 88
Less to choose the older we get
Posted: 6/1/2012 4:58:43 PM
What I was doing when I first brought this up was to try to shed new light on what is a misconception, which is the implication or suggestion that women ESPECIALLY must fact the reality that there are far fewer men at our age. It isn't ESPECIALLY true for women that there is a great disparity of numbers between men and women in our age range. In literal numbers, the difference is small.


It is not a misconception, it is a fact. Above age 50, there are more women than men and the older they get, the larger the disparity becomes. So it is especially true for women that the older they get, the fewer men they will find in their age group.

Whether or not the disparity is great would depend on how you choose to define it. I have not chosen to define it, I have made simple, mathematically true statements.


because you also implied that not only was there a big difference in the number of women and men at our age, but that this difference was not going to change.


that men do not massively out number women in our age range and that,


I did not imply any such thing. I simply said that with current mortality rates, the trends would continue. Again, I have not used terms like big or massively outnumber. You are interjecting that into what I actually wrote.


Your need to be right and to feel superior is more important to you than truth. Be sure to get the last word in.


No need to resort to ad hominems. However, when you have to say that I implied this or that, you are distorting the truth. Read what I wrote, not what you think I wrote.

You're darn right I'm going to get in the last word when you make false accusations and then run away.
 Paderic
Joined: 2/23/2010
Msg: 90
Less to choose the older we get
Posted: 6/1/2012 5:41:14 PM
Everything you wanted to know about age and gender demographics but were afraid to ask:
(http://www.census.gov/prod/cen2010/briefs/c2010br-03.pdf)

Go down to page 3 and look at what happens to the chart above age 50.

The lopsided point at the top of the pyramid indicates differences in the number of males and females at older ages. This is a result of differences in mortality for men and women, where women tend to live longer than men.

 statemachine500
Joined: 8/25/2011
Msg: 91
Less to choose the older we get
Posted: 6/1/2012 5:47:35 PM
There will in fact be fewer men for the women to choose from as they get older.Fewer functional men that is.The future looks bright.
 tbicon
Joined: 5/6/2012
Msg: 92
Less to choose the older we get
Posted: 6/1/2012 5:56:06 PM
What one does with said ego and how one interacts with others can mark the line between a healthy ego and an arrogant ass


Truer words have never been spoken. Having a healthy ego is absolutely essential for being a successful professional, and avoiding the appearance of arrogance is also important.

But we can't really concern ourself with those who are offended by the truth, can we?
 tbicon
Joined: 5/6/2012
Msg: 94
Less to choose the older we get
Posted: 6/1/2012 6:22:41 PM
Nonsense, its not my fault you totally distort in your mind what I clearly said, which is that we all have significant control over our health. Not total control of course, but significant control. If we are fat, its sometimes related to a disease we can't control, but much more likely related to our eating too many calories and not exercising enough. My blanket statement about many health problems being preventable is generally absolutely true. We are not an overweight . . obese society because a small percentage of us have diseases we have no control over. We are an overweight . . obese society because most of us stuff our faces and move too little. I can not state that any fat person on this board, on an individual basis is responsible for their being fat . . but I can state unequivocally that most fat people on this board are responsible, ultimately, for their conditions. And that's because given enough desire and tenacity, most fat people can do something about their being too fat. It is also absolutely true that being fat is very detrimental to a persons health. There is really no debate about anything I have said. You simply don't like the method of delivery.
 tbicon
Joined: 5/6/2012
Msg: 96
Less to choose the older we get
Posted: 6/1/2012 6:36:17 PM
Fine, no more debate would be productive. I do wish you the best, especially if you have decided to try to shed some of your excess pounds. If so, I suggest an hour of day of Cardio . . work up the intensity based on your heart rate, and of course eat properly. You would be surprised how quickly you might lose that weight. Good Luck.
 woobytoodsday
Joined: 12/13/2006
Msg: 98
Less to choose the older we get
Posted: 6/1/2012 7:51:16 PM

why did you go into heart failure to begin with. Was it because a virus attacked your heart or because you were grossly overweight or diabetic, i.e., was it preventable or not?


None of the above. Stress. I was an in-home hospice caregiver with a failing (obviously), very needy, demanding patient that I loved a great deal. That coupled with an evidently congenital defect of a heart valve. (Though it could have been childhood Rheumatic fever damage.) I retired, the stress lessened, I "recovered." The valve is still floppy. Also, a possible aftermath of Graves Disease, which is also stress triggered. (E.g., Barbara Bush's was triggered when her hubby ran for President in 1980; President Bush's was triggered when he was running the Gulf War.)
 woobytoodsday
Joined: 12/13/2006
Msg: 99
Less to choose the older we get
Posted: 6/2/2012 2:58:08 PM
Passion ~~ which of the 106 posts *before* yours do you not agree with?
 ronosaurus
Joined: 7/22/2007
Msg: 100
Less to choose the older we get
Posted: 6/2/2012 3:08:07 PM
@Paderic Msg:98
I looked at the web site you provided (repeated below)

http://www.census.gov/prod/cen2010/briefs/c2010br-03.pdf

The Sex ratio chart on page 5 (Figure 3) makes your point more clearly and accurately because it uses a ratio. Figure 3 shows that the sex ratio, i.e., number of males per 100 females in the US population falls below 100/100 at about 35-to-40 years of age. It is also drops off at an older age in 2010 as compared to 2000 (i.e., the blue line for 2010 stays above the red line for 2000 in the age range 50 to 100. For example, at age 75 the sex ratio is about 80 males per 100 females, finally reaching 20 males per 100 females at 100 years of age.
 Paderic
Joined: 2/23/2010
Msg: 101
Less to choose the older we get
Posted: 6/2/2012 4:52:23 PM
Careful, 4_ALL_SEASONS_CA, you'll be accused of having to be right and feel superior...
 anniedimples
Joined: 4/5/2012
Msg: 102
Less to choose the older we get
Posted: 6/2/2012 5:52:20 PM
I agree less to choose from when we get older & that poem is very nice ty
 ohenryx
Joined: 3/12/2010
Msg: 103
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History
Less to choose the older we get
Posted: 6/2/2012 6:56:17 PM

azul14
you also have stooped to insulting females for having an opinion that didn't match yours on occasion, and then going on to hold a grudge and naming that person (me) in a different unrelated thread to tell men why they shouldn't date me.

I think we’re going to have to agree to disagree about the meaning of certain words, namely “disagree” and “insulting”. I remember disagreeing with you, and I remember stating that I would never date you because of your opinion on certain subjects. This is true of many women, and many subjects. I don’t quite get where the “insulting” part comes from? If I state that I wouldn't date you because of certain opinions that you hold, is that an insult?

My idea of an insult is if I send an initial message and get a reply like, “How dare you send me an initial message? Why in god’s name do you ever think I would date a fat pig like you?”

Now an example of a disagreement would be a reply like, “Thanks for the interest, but I am a Christian and I see that you’re not.”

In this particular thread, yes, this one, I was originally objecting to the use of words like "fat", "ugly", "stupid", "scraggly", etc. If you think I have used those words here in the forums to insult anyone, please do a search and post the results. If not, then I guess we will just have to agree to disagree.
 BlackLady1953
Joined: 5/27/2011
Msg: 105
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History
Less to choose the older we get
Posted: 6/2/2012 9:31:18 PM
I understand very well what you are saying, Gwen! It's even worse for me, being contacted by fat, married men, who complain about not having "relations" with their wives. I don't know their wives, but just by seeing photos of the men, I can understand why the wife would rather babysit the grandchildren, or do anything but have sex with these unappealing, crass men!
 Giggles10000
Joined: 6/17/2011
Msg: 106
Less to choose the older we get
Posted: 6/2/2012 10:10:59 PM
I still say that yall are nuts--simply it doesnt matter if there are 80 men for every 100 women--cause there could be 30 to 40 women out of that group who have no desire to date or marry ever again---ie when my dad died when my mom was 66 --she never once even thought about it.

What is important is how ALIVE you are at this moment in life--what your passion is--what ya still want out of life and then you will find those who are still as alive and passionate about life as you are.

I can say without a doubt that the men I have met since Feb have totally and completely blown my mind--they have so much more going for them than any men I have met before now--and they are all within 3 years of my age--

Life is so excellent and so worth pursuing your happiness. Dont let those who claim that you are old, fat, scraggly, ugly or whatever weigh ya down--Im most of that and yet --LIFE ROCKS!!!!!!!
 tbicon
Joined: 5/6/2012
Msg: 107
Less to choose the older we get
Posted: 6/3/2012 4:52:27 AM
Ohen, can you give us any valid reasons why azul would date you? You look 20 years older than her and 150 or more pounds greater.
 tbicon
Joined: 5/6/2012
Msg: 108
Less to choose the older we get
Posted: 6/3/2012 5:04:46 AM
The fact is, and we all know it, the older we get the more difficult it is to find somebody. The less attractive we are the more difficult. The older we get the less attractive we are. Its a deadly combination. If need be, just go on alone. Worse things can happen. You can still have friends.
 rkymtnsnowflake
Joined: 5/23/2012
Msg: 109
Less to choose the older we get
Posted: 6/3/2012 6:54:19 AM
Yesterday, after browsing the web for something I came across www.meetup.com! No, it's not another dating website but one in which you can get involved with other people, both men and women in an activity that you already enjoy or one in which you would like find out more. They have a great motto: Do something. Learn something. Share something. Change something.
I thought about joining a hiking club just to keep things simple at first and see if I can keep it.
I don't want to stay "online" forever and have a virtual relationship. Good luck, Betty!
 ronosaurus
Joined: 7/22/2007
Msg: 110
Less to choose the older we get
Posted: 6/3/2012 7:46:23 AM

Careful, 4_ALL_SEASONS_CA, you'll be accused of having to be right and feel superior...

Thanks for the "heads-up" Paderic; forewarned is forearmed. And I will cheerfully admit to wanting to be right as opposed to needing to be right; it's a personal quality that was expected at Statistics Canada where I spent thirty-five years and a personal quality that I observed in friends and colleagues at the US Census Bureau.
 RonENOT
Joined: 12/20/2011
Msg: 111
Less to choose the older we get
Posted: 6/3/2012 1:36:58 PM
I don't know,Betty. I started dating 6 months ago after being married for 29 years. I had a 3 month round of dating a 41 year old. One date with a 70 year old, and am now in a committed 4 month long relationship with a 52 year old. He is a wonderful man and I am thoroughly satisfied with him in every way as he seems to be with me. Perhaps you should expand your horizons and not limit yourself to the obvious. The younger guys have been much more respectful and not as disagreeable as the older ones. You might be pleasantly surprised with a somewhat younger man. I did not start out seeking young, it just evolved.
 tbicon
Joined: 5/6/2012
Msg: 112
Less to choose the older we get
Posted: 6/3/2012 1:51:55 PM
Ron, all due respect, but i see no benefit in starting a relationship with a much younger man that has a very high probability of ending badly. That will put you in a worse position then when you originally started out.
 statemachine500
Joined: 8/25/2011
Msg: 113
Less to choose the older we get
Posted: 6/3/2012 3:36:45 PM
It's just playtime.
 vanityfair55
Joined: 1/20/2009
Msg: 114
Less to choose the older we get
Posted: 6/3/2012 4:21:52 PM
Ron,I think you may be right!
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