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 Ready_Real
Joined: 12/30/2010
Msg: 115
Less to choose the older we getPage 5 of 9    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9)

The older we get the less attractive we are. Its a deadly combination. If need be, just go on alone.


Well, LOLOLOL dot dot dot. Speaking strictly for myself, it's not "the older we get" that explains my "go on alone" state. It's the "more physically unfit we get" . And I absolutely do NOT (italics) buy into the notion that "older" means more physically unfit. Older may mean "slower," and it may mean "more laugh lines" and it may mean some gravitational alterations in our body proportions. And it may mean one (or seven) chronic "challenges" such as knees that refuse to run or arms that seem to have become too short to hold a dinner menu far enough away from our eyes so we can read it, but so what?

No, no, no, I say no: older and older do not mean less and less attractive unless we allow this to be the case.
 sushisue
Joined: 8/8/2009
Msg: 116
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Less to choose the older we get
Posted: 6/3/2012 5:39:57 PM
I love that Judith Viorst poem...and as I face my 60th BD tomorrow, I still hope there is someone out there for me...and if there is "belly bumping" will certainly be a part of the relationship, lol!
 Paderic
Joined: 2/23/2010
Msg: 118
Less to choose the older we get
Posted: 6/4/2012 5:35:14 AM
It is really mind boggling why you wish to hang on to this archiac view that there are so many, many more older women than men. It should be a positive to realize that men are living longer. Or are you hoping it's the other guy that's going to kick the bucket and leave more women for you? LOL You guys are going on and on about men over 75. I'm not interested in men over 75. Are you interested in women over 75?


I am just stating facts. You, on the other hand, keep trying to assign motive to my statements. I really don't care what anyone thinks of the facts. I'm not hoping to die young and I'm not hoping to "score" some elderly babe later in life. For you to suggest anything of the sort is ridiculous.

My first statement was that, regardless of gender, the older we get there are fewer people to choose from. Once we cross the age of 50, mortality starts to take a toll. Whether you are male or female, this holds true.

My second statement was that it is especially true for women, because men die younger. This seems to be the statement that sticks in your craw, but you have yet to post anything that refutes that statement.


It is really mind boggling why you wish to hang on to this archiac view that there are so many, many more older women than men.


What boggles the mind is that I have not said there are many, many more older women than men. I have only said that there are more. Yet you continue to try to put those words into my mouth.

It is not an archaic notion, the data cited is current. And whether the f/m ratio is 1.2 or 1.3, what I said still holds true.


However, my point was about men 60-74, and as the census report states, there has been a dramatic increase in men in this age rage over the past decade, and there is every reason to believe that trend will continue, which indicates that within the next decade, the number of men to women will become even more close to equal.


Dramatic? I don't think the census bureau said that. It's another one of those words you like to use that is mathematically vague. Yes, the data indicates that the female to male ratio is fluctuating, but it's to be expected that data will fluctuate. When the next census is taken, the f/m ratio for that age group may be greater than, less than, or equal to what it is now. There is nothing in the data that indicates it will approach unity.

There is no argument that the curve has shifted upward.
 AlfredoDP
Joined: 5/31/2012
Msg: 119
Less to choose the older we get
Posted: 6/4/2012 6:25:08 AM
To the original poster:
Shed yourself of prejudgments, age restrictions,...
A relationship can be had at any age; at our age it should be easier, we are supposed to be experienced. Want to meet someone? Converse with the gentleman, we are not all that bad. If you are looking for Love, now that is different story.
 tbicon
Joined: 5/6/2012
Msg: 120
Less to choose the older we get
Posted: 6/4/2012 8:24:59 AM

No, no, no, I say no: older and older do not mean less and less attractive unless we allow this to be the case.


Okay, but let us say that none of us have that glow of youth . . hair . . skin . . even eyes . . the window to the soul, that we did when so much younger. I was just kind of looking around at people maybe a decade or two older than us and the guys all look very much alike, as do the women. Most of the guys have paunches, some larger than others. Few of them appear fit. Most of the Woman have larger butts. Few of them appear fit. Most of them move slowly and deliberately. We can still distinguish ourselves in our fifties by our looks, I think it is going to be a lot harder to do so in our seventies. But I will continue working to keep myself fit. I expect I might die on my elliptical while doing one of those intensive exercise routines. But the thought of being what I see when observing people really not much older than myself is really kind of disheartening. I still feel like I did in my thirties for the most part. It is hard to identify with the sixth decade that I am rapidly approaching.
 BlackLady1953
Joined: 5/27/2011
Msg: 122
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Less to choose the older we get
Posted: 6/4/2012 10:50:50 AM
My daughter has many years of experience working in nursing homes. And it has been her experience that white females outnumber white males (in the nursing home population), by a ratio of 9 to 1 -- at least in Pennsylvania. There are very few black females in nursing homes and almost no black males.

So it is reasonable to assume that there are many more women than there are men -- especially as we get older...."the thinning of the herd", so to speak.
 Dave of Indiana
Joined: 3/18/2009
Msg: 123
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Less to choose the older we get
Posted: 6/4/2012 5:07:08 PM

And it has been her experience that white females outnumber white males (in the nursing home population), by a ratio of 9 to 1 --


So the guys are out chasing newly retired women, right? :=)
 sushisue
Joined: 8/8/2009
Msg: 124
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Less to choose the older we get
Posted: 6/4/2012 5:15:51 PM
Thank you so much Organic...60 doesn't feel any different than 59, lol!
 statemachine500
Joined: 8/25/2011
Msg: 125
Less to choose the older we get
Posted: 6/4/2012 5:32:06 PM

It indicates men are living longer. That there is this gruesome trend of there being more men alive between the ages of 60 & 74. Bad news for men for sure.


This doesn't matter in the least.Environment,metabolic syndrome and not working out will weed out a huge number.Those guys will not be a factor.
 statemachine500
Joined: 8/25/2011
Msg: 126
Less to choose the older we get
Posted: 6/4/2012 5:34:56 PM

We can still distinguish ourselves in our fifties by our looks, I think it is going to be a lot harder to do so in our seventies. But I will continue working to keep myself fit. I expect I might die on my elliptical while doing one of those intensive exercise routines. But the thought of being what I see when observing people really not much older than myself is really kind of disheartening. I still feel like I did in my thirties for the most part. It is hard to identify with the sixth decade that I am rapidly approaching


Have faith in what you're doing.I saw a pic of a guy 70 on a seniors mag.The guy's bod looked tremendous,pecs,bi's,abs.And his eyes and face,while showing age,looked much different than your average old man.
 moonbeamlover
Joined: 3/19/2012
Msg: 127
Less to choose the older we get
Posted: 6/4/2012 6:10:28 PM
There is a meetup group here in the cities that is over 40 (with the bulk being over 50 or 60) and it has a few thousand members and is incredibly active.

many cities have meetup type groups; look for those, church groups, special interest groups, book clubs, you will find many people at things like that where they are specifically for networking.

Best of luck to you
 boldbeauty62
Joined: 6/10/2011
Msg: 128
Less to choose the older we get
Posted: 6/5/2012 6:58:36 PM
Thank U

That was very inspiring !!
 NotSeekin
Joined: 4/25/2012
Msg: 129
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Less to choose the older we get
Posted: 10/30/2012 9:11:33 PM
fairblonde60 on 5/27/2012

Please, never ever settle! ...
Now, at our ages, we are wiser.
We know what we want.
We ARE picky because we know what we do not want!
Granted, there might not be as many eligible males out there for us to choose from because they are married or whatever but never give up! I haven't!
I believe good things come to those who wait!


...smartblonde on 5/27/2012 said something about finding a healthy guy....

I think you both gave good advice. And, I'd reiterate: Don't ever settle for someone. Find the one you deserve, and who you can share a happy life with!
 NotSeekin
Joined: 4/25/2012
Msg: 130
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Less to choose the older we get
Posted: 10/30/2012 9:29:48 PM
BlackLady1953 on 6/4/2012:

... that white females outnumber white males (in the nursing home population), by a ratio of 9 to 1 -- at least in Pennsylvania. There are very few black females in nursing homes and almost no black males.

So it is reasonable to assume that there are many more women than there are men -- especially as we get older...."the thinning of the herd", so to speak.


Ms. BlackLady, interesting. Glad you shared.

In China, because of the tendancy to select a male infant, the men outnumber the women. The ladies have plenty to choose from there.

My feeble advice on this thread: make friends with many, regardless of age. Make very good friends with just a handful. Be a good friend and a caring listener.
 BlackLady1953
Joined: 5/27/2011
Msg: 131
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Less to choose the older we get
Posted: 10/30/2012 9:40:53 PM
I am going to look for gentleman 5 to 10 years YOUNGER than me, because it seems that there are none my age or older who are interested......
 funandfloating
Joined: 10/12/2012
Msg: 132
Less to choose the older we get
Posted: 10/30/2012 11:37:56 PM
Dating sites are rarely the answer. You need to join common interest groups. Men still die younger and become less sexually able in middle age usually due to over indulgence and lack of fitness. A fit financial older guy that everyone prefers can get the younger woman he really wants. .

 Paderic
Joined: 2/23/2010
Msg: 133
Less to choose the older we get
Posted: 10/31/2012 9:30:39 AM

I am going to look for gentleman 5 to 10 years YOUNGER than me, because it seems that there are none my age or older who are interested......


Looking is easy. Finding, not so much.
 BlackLady1953
Joined: 5/27/2011
Msg: 134
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Less to choose the older we get
Posted: 11/1/2012 9:20:55 AM
How right you are Paderic.....I think I'll just start hoarding cats!
 philt6869
Joined: 10/26/2012
Msg: 135
Less to choose the older we get
Posted: 11/4/2012 11:02:30 AM
hi bettyyou sure hit the nail on the head. I am 68 and have gotten to choose women over 55 so far just one or they live 400 miles away. if you get interested write and tell me where you are and maybe we can hook up. dont know what you are looking far, but have found in my age group they dont really want a ltr stuck in our ways. any way a very nice post hope i hear from you
phil
 ravenhair4u
Joined: 8/13/2011
Msg: 137
Less to choose the older we get
Posted: 11/4/2012 1:28:06 PM
OP, I agree with you totally.
My issue is men who are my age, 47, & look so old. I try to take care of myself, watch my weight, take care of my hair, take vitamins, & excercise, although I slack off on the treadmill sometimes. I feel younger, & I'm told often that I look younger.
I'm not attracted to any man with gray hair. I do not understand why any woman under 70 who would wear gray hair. Why would you want to make youself look older? I have no idea why a man would ever wear a gray beard & mustacshe, I don't like either to begin with, it makes him very painful to kiss & is a general turn off to me. But gray facial hair is a complete turn off. The only thing it does is add years & make the man look even older than he already is
Also, most have gigantic bellies or are over weight.
The ones I like don't like me. The ones that like me, I don't like them. They look so old or I don't like them for some other reason.
I'd like to be with a younger guy, maybe in his 30's who has his act together, but I haven't met him yet...
 CDMer
Joined: 9/15/2012
Msg: 138
Less to choose the older we get
Posted: 11/4/2012 1:36:34 PM
I still experience no difficulty finding plenty of women to date. It is just that as people age we get more and more set in our ways. Therefore I am indeed finding it difficult to find dating partners who could work out long term. It seems to me it was much easier back when I was in my twenties.
 funnershine
Joined: 10/6/2012
Msg: 139
Less to choose the older we get
Posted: 11/4/2012 3:29:36 PM

Few of them appear fit. Most of the Woman have larger butts. Few of them appear fit. Most of them move slowly and deliberately. We can still distinguish ourselves in our fifties by our looks, I think it is going to be a lot harder to do so in our seventies.


I am going to be honest here you mainly see this online and certainly not where I live. I see fit men here in the 70's and 80's and same with their wives who are also in their 70's and 80's. They work out daily together in our gym, you also see them fast walking in the mornings together as I head out.

funnershine
 BlackLady1953
Joined: 5/27/2011
Msg: 140
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Less to choose the older we get
Posted: 11/4/2012 3:54:41 PM
Raven, I agree about the gigantic, hard bellies.....not very much of a turn on.......

I've seen men with gray/white hair and nicely trimmed beards who are way, way, sexy, though! Especially if they have fit bodies.....
 starswept333
Joined: 10/31/2012
Msg: 141
Less to choose the older we get
Posted: 11/4/2012 4:05:37 PM
This particular post has a great deal of responses and I'm sure what I will write will probably have already been said but it bears repeating. I have been divorced for ten years - five of those spent in a committed relationship and since then have had no real success finding anyone. I've gone through all the stages of frustration that come along with dating as I am sure many have - frustration, uncertainty, self-doubt, etc. I've withdrawn from all attempts at dating and then turned around and thrown myself into dating full-force having several things going at one time only to realize once again the ROI on my time investment was coming up flat. I keep hearing "when you stop looking that's when you'll find someone" Trouble is I don't know that there is anytime I am not looking as one never knows what the very next moment will bring. I guess, as much I hate to admit it, in spite of the odds, I'm an eternal optimist. So I had to do something and here is what I did: I've gone back to school to get the degree I never got - what happened? I have a new job that I love! Turns out that just having a few courses under my belt and showing that I am moving forward with my degree was enough to convince the search team that I was the person they wanted. From the new job, I've met dozens upon dozens of new people, I've had many new experiences through the friends I've made there attending fundraisers, sporting events, restaurants, etc. Not to mention the folks I've become friends with through my classes. Another thing I've done is I've joined meetup.com. I am now playing volleyball, tennis, going to Karaoke nights, attending singles dances, pub trivia and line dancing lessons. I love to read and I've joined a book club. And, I'm here on POF. While not finding the "one" Ive met some very nice men. My phone rings once in a while (I'd like it ring a little more :)) to get together for a movie or stroll through one of those massive furniture stores. Its fun. I'm trying to enjoy the journey towards finding that guy that might be out there for me . . . .and I recommend to you to to do the same. I don't want the past to be filled with my longing to meet someone - this way here I am filling it with memories and new friends. I wish you luck! Oh, and P.S. Google Tom Blake - finding love after 50 - he writes a free weekly column. His subscribers he calls "champs" and he writes based on the feedback he gets from the champs. Lots of us out there looking for the same thing and finding the same challenges. It is interesting to see how some are dealing with those challenges.

Tricia
 1princess60
Joined: 10/14/2011
Msg: 142
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Less to choose the older we get
Posted: 11/5/2012 11:34:36 AM
I am in the same shoes as yourself, being 60 does narrow the field. I am in a small town and find the same thing as far as men are concerned. A lot of men are so set in their ways that they do not care if they have a relationship or not. Others are players. I will comment on one thing, the paid dating sites are much better than the free ones and I think the reason for it is that they are more serious about a long term thing verses the free sites. Think about it, if you are going to pay, you are serious about finding someone. Just my thought.
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