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 rockarollawoman
Joined: 11/6/2004
Msg: 7
mysticalman- you stand corrected..Page 2 of 8    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8)
i just came out of a relationship that could have been wonderful if it were not for his kid. this erroneous idea that all women want kids even if they're not they're own is preposterous. we all have our baggage, who wants an extra heaping? maybe some women ARE okay with it. i for one am not and it's time more women stand up for what they believe. but more importantly, if a man's first love and duty is to his child, he should be completely up front about it in ALL dating experiences, no matter how minor.

my last one was disastrous in that i never wanted to get involved with anyone with kids - i'll bear my own with a life partner thank you - and yet this man relentlessly pursued me and assured me that his involvement with his was only out of civic duty and family pressure by his parents. he had been tricked into giving a child to a girlfriend when she conveniently took herself off the pill and neglected to inform him, thinking it would cause him to fall on bended knee and marry her. she had also been fooling around with his younger brother and who knows else. she refused to take care of the situation when this man told her to abort and stuck his name on the birth certificate. this all happened in england where things are much different and they don't require any evidence. a woman's say on a certificate is good enough - BAD POLICY NO MATTER THE COUNTRY.

but over time he told me that he didn't want to fulfill his obligations to this child, then he did, then he didn't. it was an emotional roller coaster ride. i say if a person (no matter whether a woman or man) in a potential relationship does not want to involve themselves with someone else who possesses children, they should be up front as i did and more importantly, THE PERSON WITH CHILDREN SHOULD ALWAYS BE UP FRONT AND HONEST about themselves at all times. it spares both people a lot of time, energy, money and emotion that could have been just wasted in the end.

good luck to you lookmore... you seem sincere, just be honest and you won't go wrong
 catchmeifucan
Joined: 2/26/2004
Msg: 10
are women ok with dating men with kids
Posted: 11/8/2004 1:31:10 AM
Lookmore,this is one of those really hard things.
I have always been of the view that it's much easier to tell these things out from the very beginning, it clears a lot such that if someone is willing to look beyond that then that is good news. If you fear that telling her right away will push her off, then it better be that at an early stage than when you start to really relate and develop feelings then that fact comes out to shatter everything. Kids are a big issue because if someone really wants you, and she is making up her mind about you, all this stuff should have been revealed to her earlier so that she can make a decision about you. Nothing as bad as her friend or colleague telling her b4 u do, coz her first question will be "how long were you gonna wait..." and she will withdraw her trust in you by a few points. I think ladies are a bit more open dating men with kids, a couple of them wouldn't really be detered by this although she will think twice b4 she really gets into long term committment especially if she doesn't have kids. It all depends.
 catchmeifucan
Joined: 2/26/2004
Msg: 12
are women ok with dating men with kids
Posted: 11/8/2004 2:03:23 AM
Lookmore, i couldn't add anything to what mysticalman said, should the kids not like the woman, which is usually the trend then they can make your life a living hell. Should they like her and the feeling is mutual too, then things could atleast start off well, you have to introduce her and then she has to relate and try to bond with them, and that takes a while and is sometimes frustrating. It's not good to just dump anyone on kids and as a parent you might have to make sacrifices, should your kid not like her and that persists, you might just have to back off otherwise your kid will give you so much headache, you head will grow snakes for hair.
 catchmeifucan
Joined: 2/26/2004
Msg: 13
are women ok with dating men with kids
Posted: 11/8/2004 2:10:32 AM
Lookmore sorry if i seem to have a lot to say, it's your house ,tell me when you don't want me to enter it anymore anyway what i was saying is that your kid is at a critical stage, kids that age usually take to most people they see as long as they are friendly and kids do remember all this stuff contrary to conventional belief, i still remember a lot of things that happened when i was four. What am trying to say is that should you bring in someone that will not be compatible with your son, then it will affect his character, usually such kids either withdraw or may become very troublesome.
 catchmeifucan
Joined: 2/26/2004
Msg: 38
are women ok with dating men with kids
Posted: 11/25/2004 8:29:13 AM
Be sure though who you are attracted to, the man and not the kids
 tesaz
Joined: 11/17/2004
Msg: 41
are women ok with dating men with kids
Posted: 12/3/2004 4:34:28 AM
Hello all. Pls bear with me I'm new to this forum thing. Personally I don't have a problem dating a man who has kids. I even like doing things with the kids ie. outings, provided they are comfortable with it. To me dating a man with kids involves making sure the kids are comfortable about the relationship also, as they are part of it.
 Jax88
Joined: 7/30/2004
Msg: 61
are women ok with dating men with kids
Posted: 12/8/2004 2:20:52 AM
ola ola!

i'm afraid today's day and age you cant really meet many people without kids. Most of my relationships have always involved kids, you've got to learn to accept them from day one or else its just gonna cause complications in the future. Usually the kids are quite accepting to the idea of 'Daddy' having a new g/f its just the ex-wives/gfriends who seem to have a problem with it! I've had my fair share of ups and downs with the ex's - all they seem to do in the end is cause more stress between you and your partner. It can either make or break your relationship!

I believe if you love your partner then there shouldnt be a problem with loving their kids! Afterall they are just as an extention of them! :D

my 2c worth
 ramcharger
Joined: 6/5/2004
Msg: 65
view profile
History
are women ok with dating men with kids
Posted: 12/11/2004 9:14:28 PM
Hmmmmmmm, its a sad thing really. The women I have met either did not like kids, or they wanted to be an instant mommy, and that is really hard for kids to understand.
So four years later dad dates when the kids go visit mom, or for lunch at work.
Women tend to be harsher about others kids, I think guys handle it better than women do.
Its a tough call. Be a monk or be a man ??

And there are a lot of us single parents right here, not to mention other sites that arent as much fun as this and cost ya money :)

I love my kids and if we arent accepted as a package, then we are just not going anywhere

 jarhistory
Joined: 10/10/2004
Msg: 69
Are Women OK with Dating Men with Kids?
Posted: 1/2/2005 7:36:15 AM
You will get a lot of pretty words and such having children, but for all the flatery and attention the answer to the question is that no women will not be dating men with children anytime soon - and the statistics show this truth to be quite evident. You need only go to any site dedicated to single fathers, and I mean the fathers who actually have the children full time, not this "single fathers who get their kids on the weekend". Single fathers are an ever increasing statistic in the United States, and the rate of those men actually getting remarried is dismal at best. Of course you can feel free to debate this, but the facts will show that women are interested, by and large, by men without children.
 dennb
Joined: 8/22/2004
Msg: 73
are women ok with dating men with kids
Posted: 1/3/2005 8:49:13 PM
Are women ok with dating men with kids? As a single dad here are my experiences. 2 failed relationships in the few years I have been dating since the death of my wife. Both failed mainly because of my kids...just too much responsibility I guess. But I also have to add that if I could go back and do it over aqain I would. Because they were both great and beautiful women and while it lasted it was real good.
 pink506
Joined: 1/5/2005
Msg: 77
view profile
History
are women ok with dating men with kids
Posted: 1/6/2005 6:53:34 PM
I totally agree with your post racinnraising. Some men dont understand why they are not invited to my home right away. I tell them its becasue of my kids and there is no need to meet them unless I feel i want to continue dating them. I dont want my kids to get attached to anyone when I know it can break off shortly after.
 Lucette325
Joined: 2/2/2005
Msg: 87
view profile
History
are women ok with dating men with kids
Posted: 2/16/2005 12:38:42 AM
Absolutely! I'd prefer a single dad! No kids is ok too, as long as he likes kids, but ideally a single dad for me.
 Lucette325
Joined: 2/2/2005
Msg: 88
view profile
History
are women ok with dating men with kids
Posted: 2/16/2005 12:46:01 AM
quoting princess313
And sometimes the men don't know how to control the mother of there kids.

That's a good thing! Who wants to be controlled... especially by their ex????
 Lucette325
Joined: 2/2/2005
Msg: 89
view profile
History
are women ok with dating men with kids
Posted: 2/16/2005 12:46:38 AM
oops screwed up on my tags hehe
 jarhistory
Joined: 10/10/2004
Msg: 105
are women ok with dating men with kids
Posted: 3/14/2005 5:24:54 PM
Another thread, another pack of liars, I just hope that none of the single fathers are reading through this drivel and getting false hope about their situation. What everyone forgets to add is "with lots of money".
 vionine
Joined: 6/28/2004
Msg: 118
can you handle it...
Posted: 6/14/2005 12:54:33 AM
Love the package deal. Men with kids are so much more interesting. They have learned so much, they are often less caught up in male/female roles. They are more appreciative of the work it takes to be a good parent. And they know better than to tell you how to raise your child, because they realize from their own experience how unique each child is!
 shy~mel
Joined: 2/27/2005
Msg: 119
can you handle it...
Posted: 6/14/2005 3:26:24 PM
dating a man with kids would be ideal for me, I love kids, have 1 of my own. To date someone that has kids, they would respect the fact that ur child came first and that plans may have to change sometimes, they are understanding and considerate. I would date a man with kids any day.
 QuirkyPrincess77
Joined: 5/27/2007
Msg: 175
are women ok with dating men with kids
Posted: 6/2/2007 10:44:19 AM
I have no issues with dating a man with kids I mean its a package deal don't want one then you can't have the other
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