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Show ALL Forums  > Dating and Love Advice  > I need advice on how to find this girl      Home login  
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 NarcissusTemple
Joined: 4/23/2009
Msg: 23
I need advice on how to find this girlPage 2 of 2    (1, 2)

although there are plenty of fish, a lot of them are ****es.

Classy! That unsuspecting girl has a gem in you, by golly!
 dontstopbelieving89
Joined: 12/15/2010
Msg: 24
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I need advice on how to find this girl
Posted: 5/31/2012 12:13:27 AM
Because I didn't enjoy being called a creep this makes me a jerk? i dont understand these people who scroll forums to make snide remarks.
 NarcissusTemple
Joined: 4/23/2009
Msg: 25
I need advice on how to find this girl
Posted: 5/31/2012 8:55:19 AM

Because I didn't enjoy being called a creep this makes me a jerk?

But you said you were willing to take that risk of being perceived that way.
So when someone perceived your behavior that way, you're offended?

i dont understand these people who scroll forums to make snide remarks.

Ironic, because wasn't it you who just posted:

a lot of them are ****es.

So it's o.k. for *you* to do it?
 dontstopbelieving89
Joined: 12/15/2010
Msg: 26
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I need advice on how to find this girl
Posted: 5/31/2012 10:05:32 AM
I'm willing to take the chance that she thinks that, not some random people who enjoy making fun of me for trying to find someone who seemed special. Ive met a few thousand girls/women in my young life and not that many have stood out so when I think i might have I dont take the plenty of fish attitude. Willing to take criticism doesn't mean I will take it in stride. If I am lucky to find this girl and she tells me shes not interested than ok. And I wont call her any names because I care what she thinks and I doubt she will talk to me the way whoever that other person was who said she was glad I reminded her there were creeps like me out there. Such a sweet girl.
 NarcissusTemple
Joined: 4/23/2009
Msg: 27
I need advice on how to find this girl
Posted: 5/31/2012 10:46:16 AM

I'm willing to take the chance that she thinks that, not some random people

I really do hope you find her so you can resolve your frustration.

But as I understood from your OP, you hadn't even met this girl you're interested in.
Assuming you hadn't met yet, what is so different about a random person drawing a false conclusion that you're a creep?
It is no different than you drawing the conclusion you've drawn about this girl.
Random person insulting you does not know you. You do not know this girl.
Both of you jumped to conclusions that are not verifiable. Just on opposite sides of the like/dislike spectrum.
So then, you calling random people b!tches is no different than them calling you creepy. You used their same process of deduction.

If you've been online much, you'll learn that most of what you feel about a person is not real until you can confirm it face-to-face.
Often times our online interpretations are inaccurate, or at the very least, a VERY small piece of the bigger picture that isn't as pretty as our imaginations will embellish.

I do wish you luck in your search. Really.
 dontstopbelieving89
Joined: 12/15/2010
Msg: 28
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I need advice on how to find this girl
Posted: 5/31/2012 9:34:54 PM
it is different because I never did anything to random girl who insulted me until she went out of her way to call me a creep.
 NarcissusTemple
Joined: 4/23/2009
Msg: 29
I need advice on how to find this girl
Posted: 5/31/2012 9:48:04 PM
"Teacher, she threw poo at me first, so I had to throw poo back!"

What. Are you a politician?
 statesshapes
Joined: 6/11/2011
Msg: 30
I need advice on how to find this girl
Posted: 6/4/2012 3:49:07 AM
I've seen some good tips for locating her, and here's some of mine:

- Write down every minutia of detail about them that you remember
(e.g. Height, Weight, Eye Color, Hair Color, Hobbies, Schools, Car, etc.)

- Use Google search

- Look on other dating sites to see if she's on another one, usually daters are on several
(Match.com, Matchdoctor, eHarmony, ... and many more)

- Hire a private investigator

- Try searching in public records

- Maybe you saved some details about her on your computer?

- Post an online ad "Missing Jane Doe, Anyone Know Her?"
(Craigslist, kijiji)

- If you move to her town, just get out and walk around every day. Eventually, you may come across her.

- Reverse Phone Lookup - cell phones and unlisted numbers are traceable, usually for a fee
(intellius, dogpile, aol)

- Post a plea on YouTube or the local news station

- Check major websites for her: Facebook, Myspace, LinkedIn

- Write a letter to her and ask her school to give it to her - they may be highly unwilling to though, so beware

- Talk to more people about her, eventually you may come across a friend of hers

- I wouldn't consider POF for much help, but if you can get a search warrant (or whatever Canada does) then you may be able to recover some kind of information about her from POF

- Contact her previous employer

I wanted to add that you should be doing broad searches because these will return more results. More results increase your chances of locating her. Only do specific searches if you have something very unique - a full name, or a phone number for example.
 greenIsis777
Joined: 3/14/2012
Msg: 31
I need advice on how to find this girl
Posted: 6/5/2012 6:38:25 PM
you are so sweet!
don't give up :)
this is just like the movies...
 ncipienssuper
Joined: 6/3/2012
Msg: 32
I need advice on how to find this girl
Posted: 6/6/2012 5:55:34 AM
i am at a loss here... you are asking how to find someone you had no contact with a year... but by msg. 14 you say her profile is still here.
you seem to have found her, but forgot her name. seems like you will have to face your fears and ask her, or move on
 moonbeamlover
Joined: 3/19/2012
Msg: 33
I need advice on how to find this girl
Posted: 6/6/2012 9:21:36 AM
If she is like I am, she probably got off to clear her head (it can get overwhelming sometimes) and she may even have started dating someone.

But she may get back on at some point if life calms down or she breaks up. I have on more than a couple of occasions had people who lost touch in the past when I went offline because of either burnout or starting to date who even a couple years later remembered the names of my kids, where I lived and what my favorite flower were. It was really incredibly sweet.

So while you probably can't "find" her... (I have also been stalked and that is terrifying; please don't try and find her); just keep an eye out online. She very well may rejoin at some point, and if she does, make sure to call her by name, talk about how much you enjoyed talking to her, remind her of something you especially appreciated about her (not in a creepy way but in a way that it was obvious she was a person you were interested in, not an ideal nor just a potential conquest) and get her offline info if you can so that if she does bail; you can still be in touch with her.

Best of luck to you
Show ALL Forums  > Dating and Love Advice  > I need advice on how to find this girl