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 neck romancer
Joined: 9/7/2006
Msg: 24
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So how come most of you men say you want a relationship? Page 3 of 6    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6)

Ok correction men in their 20s and early 30s dont seem to want to settle down. Im not stupid so dont be an ***hole.


well actually alot of them do..I did! unfortunately they did not want to settle down with you is all.
This goes back to what I said earlier... that you are displacing fault on someone other than yourself rather than working on the real problem. Which is most likely yourself.
 neck romancer
Joined: 9/7/2006
Msg: 35
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So how come most of you men say you want a relationship?
Posted: 6/1/2012 10:14:37 PM

And neck romancer, I bet you if you met me in person, you'll see I'm actually a nice person. Lol.


I never implied you were a bad person. Just seeing things from the wrong perspective.
 TantricJedi
Joined: 2/22/2012
Msg: 39
So how come most of you men say you want a relationship?
Posted: 6/1/2012 10:32:43 PM
Hey VienneSeule, I'm gonna give away some insider information...want to keep a man? Make him desire you AFTER the sex:) If I want you in the room when we're done...I'll marry you. Blunt and raw!
 neck romancer
Joined: 9/7/2006
Msg: 41
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So how come most of you men say you want a relationship?
Posted: 6/1/2012 10:52:51 PM

Never mind this demeaning B.S.
Theres a lot of bitter men on this site taking out their anger about the fact that theyre still alone depressed and have low self esteem on innocent thread starters.
They have been damaged and can find no other way to feel better about themselves but to lash out at random women who posts threads for advice and make women feel down about themselves.


Another fine example of my point. This woman cannot accept that she is the issue and is putting blame on everyone else but herself.
Oh and I get to bring up your favorite book! "Hes just not that into you" applies here. Thats why they dont want a relationship with you. If they were, they would!
 ontarior
Joined: 8/11/2010
Msg: 42
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So how come most of you men say you want a relationship?
Posted: 6/1/2012 11:04:07 PM
I think we're all picky and dating online makes it even worse. When you start looking at all the profiles it reminds me of shopping for shoes on amazon. "No, not that one." "Oooo, I like that one but it looks expensive." Heck, I can't even remember which ones I liked after looking through a bunch! And lets face it, once they show up, half the time you'd like to send them back!

I think the Rockabilly Girl said it best, we need to drop about 75% of all the pre-requisites we've dreamed up for the person we'll give the time of day. Then maybe we'll find someone truly amazing?
 nubeginnings64
Joined: 4/8/2012
Msg: 50
So how come most of you men say you want a relationship?
Posted: 6/2/2012 7:49:55 AM
I'm not saying cause of me. It's a known fact. You men will be single til your about 50 cause you R too afraid to committ.


Opinion based purely on emotions aren't facts at all & just because you feel it to be true doesn't make it so.

The commonality of a man & woman looking for a relationship isn't enough to make it one. Even a child knows there's much more to it than that. If that's your sole indicator it's no wonder your bummed & feel jaded.
 ohenryx
Joined: 3/12/2010
Msg: 53
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So how come most of you men say you want a relationship?
Posted: 6/2/2012 9:11:22 PM



Hey VienneSeule, I'm gonna give away some insider information...want to keep a man?

I actually have 2 I cant get rid of...Can you help???


Yes, ViennaSeule. We read your other thread. The one where you reveal yourself to be the “Drama Queen of All Drama Queens”.

And Domo, please, please stop being such a Debbie Downer. Every time I read one of your posts I need another Zoloft. The drug companies must love you.
 cooldog65
Joined: 6/27/2011
Msg: 54
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So how come most of you men say you want a relationship?
Posted: 6/3/2012 10:53:05 AM
I will say yes to a relationship, but hell no to marriage.
 neck romancer
Joined: 9/7/2006
Msg: 55
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So how come most of you men say you want a relationship?
Posted: 6/3/2012 10:57:23 AM

C'mon, now, I'm not a player!!! I'm just adventurous!!! If I use both hands, that constitutes as a threesome, right?


Depends how you look at it. Some guys see their hands as a harem. There is the Palmer twins and their 10 smaller sisters.
 Anix12
Joined: 4/30/2006
Msg: 60
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So how come most of you men say you want a relationship?
Posted: 6/3/2012 4:59:54 PM

I'm curious to know probably 8 out of 10 men on Pof mentions you are looking for a relationship or actively seeking a relationship, but when push comes to shove when a girl acts like she likes you, you run for the hills. I find it funny! Then most of you guys search for a relationship, want to date or whatever, but are you actually looking for a relationship or you purely looking for physical?


Well spoken, Marvin.

I don't think one out a hundred, one out of a thousand, of the women on POF who say they are "looking for a relationship" really are. All they really want to do is play.
 deere_rancher
Joined: 4/4/2012
Msg: 61
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So how come most of you men say you want a relationship?
Posted: 6/3/2012 5:07:34 PM
I agree with previous posters ... for the most part , men are just telling women what they want to hear
not disrespect to the few , who actually are
 DevotedExplorer
Joined: 8/12/2011
Msg: 67
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So how come most of you men say you want a relationship?
Posted: 6/4/2012 11:10:23 AM
^^^ I fully agree, there was nothing meaning about what this man said and he is right there does appear to be a double standard
 AwesomeKisser
Joined: 11/1/2010
Msg: 68
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So how come most of you men say you want a relationship?
Posted: 6/5/2012 9:57:05 AM
Oh dear. it's threads like this that make me worry I will never find a decent woman to commit to. So much bitterness, anger, assumptions and preconceptions. Fortunately, I am not going to make assumptions and generalizations and am confident that these forums don't reflect the thinking of all women out there.

Ladies, until you have actually dated or surveyed literally hundreds or thousands of men your statistical sample is to small to draw any real conclusions. There, scientific analysis out of the way...

Welcome to life. Everyone is different. Some are looking to sleep around, some are looking to date one person but not ready to "settle down" and be to serious. Others are looking for serious relationships. And it's men AND women.

I have met women who wanted to jump into bed and not be serious. I dated a lady I really liked and she was the one with commitment issues and just wanted to be a FWB. I was the one who wanted more than that.

Now, as for sex, yes, people like sex. Men and women. I love sex. It is fun and feels good. But I also much prefer to have sex with someone I actually like and want to see again. And the sex gets better and better as two people get to know each other and "mesh". And as I see it sex needs to be part of the process relatively early on (that doesn't mean the first or second date but also not the 15th date months later). It's part of the bonding process and it's also important to know if the sexual chemistry is there. I feel it is an important part of the relationship and, while certainly not the only factor, it has to be good for a long term relationship to work. So if you want to pretend it's not important and make a guy wait for months then don't be surprised if he loses interest.

As for wanting a long term relationship, I can categorically state that yes, I do want that. I'm 43. I'm not interested in playing games or playing the field. I want to meet the lady I'm going to grow old with. But that also means I'm not going to settle. I have a reasonably good idea about what I want and need now in order to have a happy and fulfilling relationship with a woman. So I am going to hold out for that. But I still have to date to get to know someone and find out if she is that I'm looking for. Sometimes I will know in 1 or 2 dates. Sometimes I may not know for a while and maybe I have dated for a few months and been physical but I realize that she isn't someone I can be happy with long term. Then what? Am I supposed to settle and stick it out? I did that and ended up with a failed marriage and a broken family. No way I am doing that again. Sorry.

What you need to do is get rid of your fairy tale and idealistic notions about dating and relationships and realize that it takes a bit of time for two people to get to know each other. You have to date and spend time together to find out. You will probably have sex during that time. But having sex does not automatically mean two people are right for each other. If you are only finding men that don't want a relationship with you then:

1. You are picking the wrong sort of men; or

2. Maybe something you are doing is turning the men off and driving them away.

P.S. I am always a gentleman. Even if I have sex on a first or second date or even a one night stand, I will always be a gentleman the next morning. So please don't be insulting. That is just sad.
 LAgoodguy
Joined: 8/21/2008
Msg: 70
So how come most of you men say you want a relationship?
Posted: 6/5/2012 2:07:36 PM
Ha-ha, insider information :-) This is common knowledge… The insider information would be HOW to make him desire you after the sex…. :-)



Bring me a sandwhich and a cup of hot tea.. Then lets do it again.
 sddude
Joined: 12/9/2007
Msg: 72
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So how come most of you men say you want a relationship?
Posted: 6/5/2012 4:00:19 PM
I want to get married and have children , after all the e-mails I have sent , I just hear crickets in the background, there are guys who want to commit, just as alot of women .

There are men and women here that are just in it for the game.
 AwesomeKisser
Joined: 11/1/2010
Msg: 75
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So how come most of you men say you want a relationship?
Posted: 6/7/2012 8:46:52 PM
" I am always a gentleman. Even if I have sex on a first or second date or even a one night stand, I will always be a gentleman the next morning."

Does that include a phone call when you are no longer interested? Or are you just M.I.A.
Just curious :)


Actually, yes. I have never just disappeared on a woman I have been intimate with. Ever. In fact, I still sometimes speak to or get together with (as friends) a couple of them. :) And I have stuck around for relationships with women I have had sex with on a first or second date too. For me personally, the reason I would get imitate quickly with a woman is if there was some amazing attraction and chemistry right away. It happens occasionally.
 AwesomeKisser
Joined: 11/1/2010
Msg: 86
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So how come most of you men say you want a relationship?
Posted: 6/11/2012 9:13:17 AM
@BellStone2012

That is by far one the best posts I have read on these forums yet. I couldn't agree more. There seems to be a pervasive habit of generalization and assumption in so many of the topics. Me don't want relationships, women are overly picky and only choose men on looks etc. etc.

People are individuals and while many of us may be seeking similar things none of us are identical. It is all to easy to come up with simple yet incorrect theories in an attempt to explain your own experiences but the reality is that life, the universe and everything are complex systems.

I would suggest that there are many people seeking a happy long term relationship. However, as you suggest, what that consists of and how that looks and how we go about finding it varies from person to person.
 GottaBFriends
Joined: 5/3/2012
Msg: 88
So how come most of you men say you want a relationship?
Posted: 6/11/2012 10:04:22 AM
Perhaps only 20% of the men actually are telling the truth and perhaps the others are interested in a different type of relationship. I would post this elsewhere but my question is why women don't look like their profile pictures, why are they looking for a real man but use make up, hair extensions, girdles, high heels and what have you to change the real them? I have had three dates since joining POF two weeks ago and not one woman was what she described herself to be or looked like the profile picture they posted.
 rockondon
Joined: 2/21/2007
Msg: 89
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So how come most of you men say you want a relationship?
Posted: 6/12/2012 10:19:13 AM
Guys ARE looking for a relationship on here, and when they find a woman who they don't feel is relationship material, well, she might be good enough to roll around with in the bedroom until they find one who is. I'm sure women do the same thing.

Mystery solved.
 Sillyandserious
Joined: 11/16/2011
Msg: 91
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So how come most of you men say you want a relationship?
Posted: 6/12/2012 5:18:21 PM
There are 2 ways of looking at this....

First...there are those guys who say they are looking for a relationship because that is what women want to hear. Would you have answered their email or met them if they said they were looking for casual encounters? Probably not.

The second reason (the one far more painful to my ego) is that they ARE looking for a relationship and I am just not the one for them.
 Behind-Blue-Eyes_53
Joined: 12/19/2011
Msg: 92
So how come most of you men say you want a relationship?
Posted: 6/12/2012 9:58:25 PM

I've never seen any evidence that most men don't want relationships. I don't know many men that would turn down a relationship with a smart and attractive woman.


Attractive to whom? You could be a TEN in looks to 99% of the people and still the 1% wouldn't find you attractive.
 AwesomeKisser
Joined: 11/1/2010
Msg: 93
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So how come most of you men say you want a relationship?
Posted: 6/12/2012 11:07:42 PM

I don't know many men that would turn down a relationship with a smart and attractive woman.


Absolutely! The minute I find my smart attractive lady I am out of here!
 AwesomeKisser
Joined: 11/1/2010
Msg: 96
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So how come most of you men say you want a relationship?
Posted: 6/13/2012 10:27:24 AM
I pretty much ignore the intentions category unless it says intimate encounters or friends. So many people view the process in different ways so how do you label it accurately? Mine says long term because that is what I am ultimately seeking. But it's a process and I want to have some reasonable comfort that if I am putting my energy into an exclusive relationship with someone there is a reasonable chance that they are what I am seeking. You have to meet a number of people and go on a few dates to try to find that right person. Sometimes that can take 2 or 3 dates and sometimes 10 or 12. Depends on the chemistry between two people. You have to spend some time together before you know if you want to be exclusive.

I went on 6 or 7 dates with a lady and she was great in some ways and we had fun together but ultimately we had different expectations so we parted ways. My last exclusive relationship was with someone I knew I wanted to be exclusive with on date 2. We would likely still be together if not for major geographical issues. Putting timelines or specific strategies on finding your partner is foolish in my opinion. It is an organic process. There are no choices for "Long term once I find the right person" or "Dating in order to get to know someone and decide if they are Long Term". Some people elaborate in their profiles and others don't.
 LAgoodguy
Joined: 8/21/2008
Msg: 97
So how come most of you men say you want a relationship?
Posted: 6/13/2012 12:22:05 PM
I would speak for my self here. I would like to have a relationship as I do enjoy being in one. But it dont mean I want it with anyone. Some you meet and on the first date you just say hell no she is out of the question. Then you meet someone else, Everything looks fun great conversation get along togher but not sure yet. So you go on more dates to figure out. Yes sex is a big part of the equation. If I feel that we are on the same page and get along great and lots of fun. Then we keep on going. If after some more dating past the first one. Things come up that you know would not work out. Then you move alone, Sometimes I realy like them but they would say nope it wont work out(Here I were thinking all along that I'm Perfect for everyone). Its not as if most women dont want a relationship its more that they didnt want it with me. Other times it would be me who says no I don't see it going anywhere. If she liked me then I became the evil guy who played games.
We are all looking for what ever we want, What makes us most happy.
 GuitarHero68
Joined: 6/15/2011
Msg: 100
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So how come most of you men say you want a relationship?
Posted: 6/14/2012 9:37:50 AM
Men use the promise of a relationship to get sex, whereas women use the promise of sex to get a relationship.
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