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 christyis4real
Joined: 7/6/2011
Msg: 26
spoiled by anal?Page 2 of 4    (1, 2, 3, 4)
If anal is the only way that you can "finish", then finding a woman who understands that and can meet your needs may be a bit harder to find. I am sure they are out there! Obviously, this woman wasn't understanding enough to even "try". That or she wasn't that into you enough to want to try. Me personally, i will try most anything once. If I can't stand it, or if it's just not something I want to do anymore.....i will figure out other ways to help him out. I am sure that if she tried hard enough, she could have found another way to "ween" you off that anal finishing problem.
 SugahPunkin
Joined: 5/28/2010
Msg: 27
spoiled by anal?
Posted: 6/2/2012 10:40:48 AM
Well hells bells.. maybe its me. He wants anal. She doesnt. Why would she need to try? It comes across that she should need to like it. Why?
If she doesnt want that and he does then end it. Its simple to me. But some of yall make it sound like she should do it to just make him happy. Man, Id pay money to get her side of the story. My money is on her. And that he is hiding the whole story.
so Op, are you saying everything else was good? Was the anal sex with women? (And it does matter)
I can only think it ended for lack of emotional intimacy and the anal was the last straw.
 BigObigD
Joined: 6/4/2006
Msg: 28
spoiled by anal?
Posted: 6/2/2012 10:50:24 AM
" finding a woman who understands that and can meet your needs may be a bit harder to find. I am sure they are out there! "

I AM WITH ONE NOW THAT WANTS NOTHING ELSE.
 jaybee812
Joined: 10/25/2011
Msg: 29
spoiled by anal?
Posted: 6/2/2012 5:38:08 PM
not gay, but not offended if you think i am, not too worried what others think
maybe a better question shud have been, Ladies, do you take it personaly if your man does not climax?
"Muted", thnx for your input, i think you are spot-on
n Ms Micki, i think you have something there, also, thnx for your help
 jaybee812
Joined: 10/25/2011
Msg: 30
spoiled by anal?
Posted: 6/2/2012 5:51:11 PM
...and SSC, thank you as well for your input. i have never, ever been accused of being a selfish or insensitive lover
 saveta
Joined: 4/23/2012
Msg: 31
spoiled by anal?
Posted: 6/2/2012 6:18:31 PM


I have enjoyed anal sex over the years, but I don't enjoy the after effects I have (diarrhea and anal discomfort), so don't engage in it anymore. This, by the way, despite lots of lube.
 MsMicki
Joined: 10/2/2006
Msg: 32
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spoiled by anal?
Posted: 6/2/2012 7:13:35 PM

maybe a better question shud have been, Ladies, do you take it personaly if your man does not climax?.

when I was younger I did......at this age I have learned it's not about "me", so no, I don't take it personally.
But I will still give it all I got to help my guy get there, (except anal!!) and if he just can't get there.......then we take a nap and try again in a few hours and that always works.

and your welcome Jay.......hope things work out for ya because expecting anal each and every time would definately
be an issue for most women.
 marie2107
Joined: 11/14/2011
Msg: 33
spoiled by anal?
Posted: 6/2/2012 8:22:21 PM
OP, per your original post and responses, you seem to have been putting in a lot of effort into satisfying her needs. Was she doing the same for you? Did she try getting on top, manipulating you orally or digitally? Perhaps you need a woman that likes marathon (or close to) sex and she is willing to put forth as much effort as you to help you reach orgasm. I disagree with any accusations of you being gay or lazy in bed. In my opinion, you didn't say anything to infer those things. The sexual chemistry was just off for the two of you. Good luck in finding a more compatible partner and please do work on finding other avenues to orgasm.
 TheOtherMichaelKeaton
Joined: 5/28/2012
Msg: 34
spoiled by anal?
Posted: 6/2/2012 10:07:02 PM
Maybe you're just having boring sex and anal gets you off because its taboo. There's other things out there you could be doing that are a break from the old fashioned missionary position. Switch positions. Try some toys. Watch some porn together. Visit a novelty shop if you have one in your city. Get some ideas online to spice things up a little. Anal is fun, and I find women who are into it even sexier than they already were, but its not the be all/end all of some hot kinky sex. Find out what makes her feel sexy and exploit the $#!t out of it. The sexier she feels, the more fun she's going to be with you. Make her feel self-conscious, or that her vagina isn't good enough to get you off, and you'll soon find yourself romantically involved with a tube of Jergens and a box of Kleenex.
 VienneSeule
Joined: 5/10/2012
Msg: 35
spoiled by anal?
Posted: 6/2/2012 11:49:51 PM
I dont think any woman is going to stand for taking it up the rear every night because her vagina isnt satisfying enough for you.
 mcwr
Joined: 3/24/2009
Msg: 36
spoiled by anal?
Posted: 6/3/2012 6:17:10 PM
There are definitely some "butt-hurt" women in this thread..
 scottm1116661
Joined: 5/9/2012
Msg: 37
spoiled by anal?
Posted: 6/3/2012 6:25:54 PM
Testosrone has nothing to do with cumming. I am 45 and almost never ever cum, my testrone was at 109 and average is 300 to 100 i now take shout and its 900 and still same thing, its mental of medical, blockage, no women has been able to finsh me, so dont feel bad it just happens, suck but its life
 skarabians1
Joined: 12/29/2011
Msg: 38
spoiled by anal?
Posted: 6/4/2012 6:30:49 PM
I read that men that masterbate with porn can develope that problem....???
 oogiewoogie
Joined: 7/13/2008
Msg: 39
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spoiled by anal?
Posted: 6/5/2012 4:40:16 AM
If it's offered and she wants it that way, I'll go for it. It's not something I demand. Some women enjoy that and I know of one that loved anal orgasms. For me, I've had the usual annual proctology exam and even with a trained lubed finger inside a rubber glove for a brief moment.....it was like a lower end gag reflex.
 windchymes
Joined: 11/29/2008
Msg: 40
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spoiled by anal?
Posted: 6/5/2012 6:43:19 AM

not a stamina thing, i was still goin strong long after she was tired. I always prided myself in pleasing her, a little surprised she would take such offense.


Men, you goin' strong all night long is really NOT what most of us want. Once in a great while, maybe, but I think what most of us want is for you to finish in a reasonable amount of time so we don't have to be sore and tired the next day from accommodating YOU.

It's great that you enjoy pleasing a woman, but I think what's happened here is that you've trained yourself--and your penis--with the notion that she's not going to be pleased unless you keep it going like a jackhammer for hours, so you quite possibly do have a mental block on cumming in a reasonable amount of time. It's kind of like you are so afraid of premature ejaculation that you've gone completely to the other end of the spectrum.

I'm not sure how to fix that, though. Maybe start relaxing and just enjoying what YOU are feeling during sex. Don't make being a super-stud-must-please-woman the primary goal. Enjoy the sensations, don't feel so pressured to make Herculean efforts to please, just enjoy each other and remember that we enjoy your orgasm, too. Maybe even make love with the woman, and when she's finished and happy after an orgasm or two but you're nowhere near finishing, just stop, wind down and go to sleep. Yeah, I know, that's going to be tough the first couple times. But maybe your brain will re-set itself to "oooh, I'd better cum sooner or I'm not going to cum at all" mode?

I'm not a sex therapist, I'm just speculating. Maybe consulting with a sex therapist would help you, though?
 want to travel
Joined: 7/29/2006
Msg: 41
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spoiled by anal?
Posted: 6/5/2012 9:56:00 AM
I should not say this
but......i had a girfriend, when i was young, she had such great control, of her pvssy
all i had to do was put in in lol
she was and probably still is amazing!
 jaybee812
Joined: 10/25/2011
Msg: 42
spoiled by anal?
Posted: 6/7/2012 3:13:53 PM
thnx, WC, i think you have something there. im ok going to sleep after she i satisfied. I dont belabor the point, keep "jackhammering" till i climax. it only goes on for some time if i am with a lady that wants it for hours. My point was, an extra 10 min wont do it for me.
 matchlight
Joined: 1/31/2009
Msg: 43
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spoiled by anal?
Posted: 6/7/2012 4:34:06 PM

Maybe start relaxing and just enjoying what YOU are feeling during sex. Don't make being a super-stud-must-please-woman the primary goal. Enjoy the sensations, don't feel so pressured to make Herculean efforts to please, just enjoy each other and remember that we enjoy your orgasm, too.


I think you're exactly right. And that last part about enjoying our orgasm is nice to hear. There have been a couple times when I had the sense the woman couldn't have cared less about mine, as long as she was completely satisfied. It's much easier to relax and enjoy what you're feeling when you know your partner really wants you to.
 sunshinebridge2U
Joined: 4/13/2012
Msg: 44
spoiled by anal?
Posted: 6/7/2012 9:22:10 PM

some men will "desensitize" themselves to a normal vaginal grip if they basically train themselves to orgasm with a manly grip......and anal (usually) is a tighter fit.


Well... you might want to try a small attached bullet vibrator. They make one with two sizes. One is small enough and can be slid up your lady's butt while you are having normal vaginal sex - doesn't hurt and feels sort of good.
If you are staying hard for a long time without cumming, you can always vibe your girlfriend with the other attachment and she can orgasm five or six times. She'll be happy. And, it will take away some of the pressures to satisfy her. Since I am already tight to begin with, I easily swell up after a night of hard pounding and... well other stuff. And... I can be out of commission for the rest of the week. So, the only option we have left is hands with outside the vagina stimulation - and partial penatration. Not that I am complaining... but my boyfriend seems to cum easier when we do this. Before we started using a vibrator with sex, I felt a little bit like your girlfriend. However, I didn't take it too personally. My ex-boyfriend used to come quickly and then tell me if was because he was sooo turned on by me. I used to think WTF? I'd rather have too much than too little. I'm happy.
 OutMind
Joined: 2/13/2007
Msg: 45
spoiled by anal?
Posted: 6/8/2012 6:24:50 AM

trust me, i put plenty of energy, creativity, attention into our sex. That's why i suspect it may have been an excuse/cover for something else she didnt want to talk about. I have never used my inability to CUM as leverage for anal sex


Dude, what do you think you are doing right now. YOU ARE using your inability to cum as your excuse, and shift the blame to her. Perhaps you are the only one that does not see it. But you are.

There are women like like and love anal. There are women that tolerate it on occasion. There are woman that simply hate it. It is painful to them and it simply does not jive with their anatomy.
You as a guy can reach orgasms in any number of ways. Do you masturbate? Do you reach an orgasm when you do so? If you can do that, then you can achieve the other and the rest is just b ull shi t.
 josdar
Joined: 6/24/2011
Msg: 46
spoiled by anal?
Posted: 6/8/2012 7:56:50 AM
increasingly difficult to get off with a woman, now leaning towards anal... Is this some sort of coming out party ?? I can not imagine telling a woman that, never mind posting on a dating site..
 MutedEnthusiasm
Joined: 7/8/2011
Msg: 47
spoiled by anal?
Posted: 6/8/2012 8:45:30 AM

60:YOU ARE using your inability to cum as your excuse, and shift the blame to her. Perhaps you are the only one that does not see it.

OP is not "the only one that does not see it." I don't see it either. I don't see excuses. I don't see blaming.
 meowkatt2012
Joined: 4/6/2012
Msg: 48
spoiled by anal?
Posted: 8/11/2012 2:23:46 PM
Be more creative. Can.u cum on.her?. Are her tits big enough to hold u tight? If her ****'s not tight enough. Don't say that. Can u put dildo in her ass? Or thin one in puusy with u. Or try a vibe in there. An egg vibe is good. Ill bet u'll. Cum lol. And she'll. Cum hard prob. I don't know her. But u both wanna have fun. And I totally agree w others. To loosening ur solo grip. Maybe lube will help that
 HowRJ
Joined: 6/7/2009
Msg: 49
spoiled by anal?
Posted: 8/11/2012 4:36:43 PM
Just get the Fleshlight with the anal attachment......problem solved......
 hotmerlot
Joined: 2/25/2012
Msg: 50
spoiled by anal?
Posted: 8/11/2012 9:58:47 PM
I think you prefer anal sex and you made that statement to your partner to be manipulative.

I can stay hard but I can't get off???

Really.. I"m not buying it. You want what you want and you are delaying your orgasm to make her feel bad so that she will do what you want.
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