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Show ALL Forums  > Over 45  > would you marry a widow or widower if....      Home login  
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 lotustemple
Joined: 10/23/2011
Msg: 62
would you marry a widow or widower if....Page 4 of 4    (1, 2, 3, 4)

with the understanding that dating a widow is different than marring one, would you marry a widow orwidower if they chose to be buried with their late spouse? what are some of the issues that would prevent you from marrying a window or widower? qa widow or widower do you find it more comfortable dating a widow or widowe? if so, why?


To answer the 1st question......how absolutely absurd and classless to marry someone but want to be buried next to another partner. Typical of someone who immortalizes their deceased spouse.
 JAXDiver
Joined: 6/4/2011
Msg: 63
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would you marry a widow or widower if....
Posted: 6/17/2012 4:37:11 PM
I might marry a widower, if I were that kind of guy....but I'm not!
I might marry a widow. She is still a woman, right? LOL
 Giggles10000
Joined: 6/17/2011
Msg: 64
would you marry a widow or widower if....
Posted: 6/17/2012 9:34:29 PM

To answer the 1st question......how absolutely absurd and classless to marry someone but want to be buried next to another partner. Typical of someone who immortalizes their deceased spouse.


Hogwash!

A person who was married to another individual for years and then that person has died--they have made prior arrangements--you are trying to make it ALL about you--you think a man/woman should just have no existence until they met you? If they have children together don't you feel it would be a benefit to their children?

Personally Im not going to be buried so it doesnt matter; but why would you expect someone who has basically just met you (in terms of how long they have been alive and lived with another person--granted if it was a short marriage and the person died then hey I can see an issue)--but if they were married over 10 years--how could you expect them to just turn their back on their prior life for someone fairly new to them?

To call it absurd and classless--seriously --it shows a bit of classless to think you should at the beginning of time with someone to be so resentful of their past. Yes some people do immortalize their deceased spouse--but not all and to think they should give up their past for you is a bit unreal.
 lotustemple
Joined: 10/23/2011
Msg: 65
would you marry a widow or widower if....
Posted: 6/17/2012 10:47:20 PM
To call it absurd and classless--seriously --it shows a bit of classless to think you should at the beginning of time with someone to be so resentful of their past. Yes some people do immortalize their deceased spouse--but not all and to think they should give up their past for you is a bit unreal.


What is unreal? A half-azz marriage that insists on being buried with another partner seems pretty bizarre to me. What does marriage mean to you Giggles? Committment in marriage is 100% or it's a joke. What you suggest is controlling and manipulating.....basically using another person, better to just live together as opposed to going thru the wedding vows. Only a swinger or a narcissist would consider this an ethical option since it is anything but ethical.

It's not that hard to sell a plot at a discount price and genuinely committ to the person you are with.
 Giggles10000
Joined: 6/17/2011
Msg: 66
would you marry a widow or widower if....
Posted: 6/17/2012 11:00:48 PM
No one said marriage isnt a commitment--and yes the bible says "Until death do they part," for a reason.
See the person has spent years with another person--they build a life together and now at this age when most of us wont even begin to live another 20 to 30 years you want them AT THE START of a new relationship to someone they love and are committed to--be more to that person that a person they have spent their whole life with--it is a very unrealistic expectation.

So lets say you marry guy A, and he is convinced by you to sell his plot by his deceased wife and buy one with you--so then he dies--and now you marry guy B-- what happens then? Are you going to sell your plot by guy A and buy another with guy B after insisting he sell his with his deceased wife? What happens if guy B dies then and now you are married to guy C :P

all these men are now buried alone --vs being with someone they have spent the majority of their life with--is it the end of the world--no cause they are dead and wont know but what about their families?

If you truly love someone wouldnt have a more or better appreciation for their past be a good indication of your love for them? Vs expecting them to walk away completely from their prior life.
 lotustemple
Joined: 10/23/2011
Msg: 67
would you marry a widow or widower if....
Posted: 6/17/2012 11:25:58 PM
^^^You don't grasp the concept of committment.
 Giggles10000
Joined: 6/17/2011
Msg: 68
would you marry a widow or widower if....
Posted: 6/17/2012 11:42:51 PM
^^^^ you dont grasp the concept of real love--

real love isnt where you are buried, or by whom--it is caring enough for the other person it wont make a difference to you if they are buried by a woman/man that they spent the majority of their life with and have children with
 lotustemple
Joined: 10/23/2011
Msg: 69
would you marry a widow or widower if....
Posted: 6/18/2012 12:04:36 AM
^^^Love and committment go hand in hand. You can't rewrite the rules as you go and stay in integrity.
 Behind-Blue-Eyes_53
Joined: 12/19/2011
Msg: 70
would you marry a widow or widower if....
Posted: 6/18/2012 12:44:54 AM

lotustemple
It's not that hard to sell a plot at a discount price and genuinely committ to the person you are with.


It would be Rich if some future Husband sold the other half of a double plot after you died, but then you don't have kids, so who would be visiting your grave anyways? It would be even more fitting if it was sold to some Widower who had sold off his plot as you think is right.
 BigBadNIrish
Joined: 1/31/2011
Msg: 71
would you marry a widow or widower if....
Posted: 6/18/2012 5:06:18 AM
For the amount of time that a situation like this would actually arise, which has to be so extremely minute, to elicit such ire and comment concerning it, raises more questions about those that actually believe they might run into the situation, and shows how bizarre these people think.
 SSC-SAF
Joined: 5/20/2012
Msg: 72
would you marry a widow or widower if....
Posted: 6/18/2012 9:42:15 PM
I don't understand the rancor over the gravesite.

I have a double plot where my husband is buried - and guess what - a double headstone too! OMG I must be immortalizing him because I planned ahead and saved some money!

*cough*bullshyt*cough*

I'm going to be cremated and have my ashes scattered, and then my friends will put the urn next to my late husband - or not. If I have a life partner at the time that I die, he can take some of my ashes and the urn if he wishes. Won't matter if my name's already on the headstone. I certainly won't care, and those whom I've left behind can memorialize me as they wish.
 amethyst10616
Joined: 7/23/2009
Msg: 73
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would you marry a widow or widower if....
Posted: 6/18/2012 9:55:22 PM
I think it is a matter of respect to those who would mind it. Some will. Is a headstone worth losing someone in life now?
 MusicianInCanton
Joined: 10/18/2010
Msg: 74
would you marry a widow or widower if....
Posted: 6/19/2012 2:31:08 PM
My wife's grandfather was a widower that got remarried. His second wife buried him along with his deceased wife, and then joined both of them when she died. There was never a word mentioned about that arrangement being odd.
 Welsh474
Joined: 9/13/2010
Msg: 75
would you marry a widow or widower if....
Posted: 6/19/2012 2:45:10 PM
""^^^You don't grasp the concept of committment.""

Some troll doesn't grasp the concept of anything that doesn't involve "me, me, me". I wouldn't be surprised that the next person to love you is the first person to love you. Cold, and really cold. And what happens to the "concept of committment" when you choose to divorce.

And really, we're all grownups, who cares where we are buried - we're dead. And some folks on here are just as cold and dead as our deceased partners.
 SSC-SAF
Joined: 5/20/2012
Msg: 76
would you marry a widow or widower if....
Posted: 6/19/2012 6:18:43 PM

Is a headstone worth losing someone in life now?


What are you asking? Do you mean that I ought to cut the headstone in half, and/or have my name removed? That makes absolutely no sense.

If a man is THAT insecure, then he's not right for me. I'd have no issues with a future life partner being buried next to a prior wife, especially if they already had it planned that way.

People worry about the strangest things.
 BigBadNIrish
Joined: 1/31/2011
Msg: 77
would you marry a widow or widower if....
Posted: 6/19/2012 8:25:34 PM

That makes absolutely no sense.


LMAO...this whole thread is about some azzinine question that would rise in 1 in a million chances...buy a lotto ticket yer chances ae better than running into something like this...but, what strikes me...is that some of the D's are so damaged that they have to accuse W's of feeling better...having shrines....pining over the past...wadeva
 Welsh474
Joined: 9/13/2010
Msg: 78
would you marry a widow or widower if....
Posted: 6/26/2012 1:28:36 PM
""personally i think it's insensitive to speak about a deceased partner "CONSTANTLY" if your embarking on new relationship,""

I feel the same way. I also feel the same way if someone talks constantly about their ex-wife, past girlfriend, their kids, etc. I'm there to meet them - not the family or past family members. And I've heard it all, especially from the divorced.
 wackadoodledoo
Joined: 4/14/2011
Msg: 79
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would you marry a widow or widower if....
Posted: 6/26/2012 1:34:39 PM
Ditto, ditto, ditto!! Think we have heard these same sentiments expressed elsewhere, if I recall!
 len129
Joined: 8/22/2006
Msg: 80
view profile
History
would you marry a widow or widower if....
Posted: 6/26/2012 1:57:56 PM
I would have no problem marrying a widow as long as she had realized the man was dead and gone. Some of the widows I met on POF talked liked the man had died yesterday when in fact he had been dead for five to ten years or more . I felt bad for them but I just felt they were not ready for a new relationship. Divorce can work the same way some people just can't let go
 judyjc5
Joined: 5/19/2012
Msg: 81
would you marry a widow or widower if....
Posted: 6/30/2012 12:35:00 PM
Not that I have a preference to where I am buried ,But don't understand why that would be a problem?When you are dead you are dead lol! As for the prefer to date a widower ?I haven't met one yet but would not care either way I don't guess. But at least we know a widow /widower maybe was not a cheater like some of the divorcees lol! And I would rather date a widower than someone that has been married several times.I will not even talk to someone that has been married over twice .Just figure they are not someone that can commit!
 judyjc5
Joined: 5/19/2012
Msg: 82
would you marry a widow or widower if....
Posted: 6/30/2012 12:36:59 PM
I so wish we had a like button on here!
 BigBadNIrish
Joined: 1/31/2011
Msg: 83
would you marry a widow or widower if....
Posted: 6/30/2012 3:23:22 PM

their kids


Geeze loueeze..my kids are young...and they occupy much of my life...if I didn't talk about them there wouldn't be much to say....:/
Show ALL Forums  > Over 45  > would you marry a widow or widower if....