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 ThePig0fYourDreams
Joined: 2/2/2015
Msg: 226
Love at first sightPage 10 of 13    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13)


Maybe. Or maybe it was a different time, 50-60+ years ago but now we've either forgotten how to fall in love or we over analyze it so much that love is lost somewhere in the data.


At the same time, we can't disregard the number of supposed "love at first sight" marriages that actually failed. As for analyzing, these forums are a shining example of just how over-analytical people can be today. However, I don't necessarily discourage implementing critical thinking.


but your hypothesis is one sided. only one person is in love. to complete this scenario what if BOTH parties said they loved one another at first sight and one of them asked for the $5000?


True, but I assumed we were speaking from a one sided perspective, anyway. But even if the other person agreed they loved the other "at first sight", I'm still questioning the sanity of the person willing to fork over the cash.
 sigungq
Joined: 1/4/2013
Msg: 227
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Love at first sight
Posted: 5/6/2015 6:06:41 PM
No such thing. Even "instant chemistry" is unicorn.
 daynadaze
Joined: 2/11/2008
Msg: 228
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Love at first sight
Posted: 5/6/2015 6:18:39 PM

Maybe. Or maybe it was a different time, 50-60+ years ago but now we've either forgotten how to fall in love or we over analyze it so much that love is lost somewhere in the data.


No, it was the same 60 years ago, people are the same, the lies society tells each other changes with the times but the actual events and the people types, still all the same. So far no magic forces have made people different than the people who came before them.
 pepperstrand
Joined: 1/25/2015
Msg: 229
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Love at first sight
Posted: 5/7/2015 8:01:26 AM
I had chatted with someone from pof and we had a simple drink date at a McDonald's. I knew there was a connection from the start but when he pulled into the lot, I was smiling and waiting at the door. I think that is called strong attraction or love. Not on any other date did I stand waiting for the man to come in. So for all you men out there, if you can get your body off the couch for someone you are interested in , it might be love!!!!!!!!!!!!!! lol
 Maleman999
Joined: 2/14/2010
Msg: 230
Love at first sight
Posted: 5/7/2015 8:22:05 AM

At the same time, we can't disregard the number of supposed "love at first sight" marriages that actually failed.


That would be the same as the infamous "instant chemistry" that so many people feel is necessary within a fraction of a second when meeting a stranger. How many divorced people had the instant chemistry as soon as they met their ex for the first time?

I guess with the internet generation, it would be Love at first text message. It amazes me how many people fall in love just from exchanging text messages before meeting someone in person.
 CharminC
Joined: 2/19/2011
Msg: 231
Love at first sight
Posted: 5/7/2015 8:34:31 AM

I'm still questioning the sanity of the person willing to fork over the cash.




Either filthy stinkin' rich or blind naivete
 CarefreeBeauty
Joined: 5/30/2014
Msg: 232
Love at first sight
Posted: 5/7/2015 9:29:39 AM
I DO believe in 'love at first sight'~ the trick to keeping it fresh is to keep your eyes closed ever after! haha just kidding
 Maleman999
Joined: 2/14/2010
Msg: 233
Love at first sight
Posted: 5/7/2015 3:11:12 PM
Is it possible to have love at first sight with many people at the same time or at various times after it happened once? Is there a limit to how many people you can have love at first sight with? If you get into a love at first sight situation, and find out later the person you instantly fell in love with has an identical twin, would there be a chance of having love at first sight with the twin also? If there was no encounter with the person who became the love at first sight, do you think it could happen with someone else? In other words, what does it take to become a candidate for love at first sight with a total stranger, besides good looks? Or is it based solely on looks?
 Eternityboreme
Joined: 3/18/2015
Msg: 234
Love at first sight
Posted: 5/7/2015 3:18:07 PM
^^ My former husband and I were young, horny, and we wanted to reproduce. At the time it was quite an extraordinary love affair, the only time I fell in love at first sight.

My relationships aren't based on procreation or any wish for it. This time, it's for the long haul (providing there isn't any extraordinary bullshit), if it happens again.
 bamagrl68
Joined: 11/14/2010
Msg: 235
Love at first sight
Posted: 5/7/2015 4:21:21 PM
westcoast-reble- I don't believe in love at first sight.
Lust, instant attraction, instant like, yes.
True love takes time to develop.
I've heard the stories, people saying that they fell in love at first sight and they've been together ever since.
These stories are people who got very lucky, the person they were instantly attracted to turned out to be good people who were compatible with them.
 bucsgirl
Joined: 5/13/2006
Msg: 236
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Love at first sight
Posted: 5/7/2015 4:45:38 PM
What happens when you meet someone new, I'll call it an energy, some say connection that sometimes just is there. Sometimes, after speaking a bit, any interest falls flat, sometimes it doesn't. I remember when I met my late husband..there was physical attraction but it was more, not something I could put my finger on RIGHT THEN. Fortunately, we were able to get to know each other as we both belonged to the same group, so it was a couple of months before we actually went out and were married fairly soon after. I would never say it was LOVE at first sight, the love evolved as we talked, I saw how he interacted and treated other people...I think this is usually the case when people use the love at first sight, they fall in love (later on) with someone they had positive energy with at first sight.
 Behind-Blue-Eyes_53
Joined: 12/19/2011
Msg: 237
Love at first sight
Posted: 5/7/2015 4:50:16 PM

At the same time, we can't disregard the number of supposed "love at first sight" marriages that actually failed.



That would be the same as the infamous "instant chemistry" that so many people feel is necessary within a fraction of a second when meeting a stranger. How many divorced people had the instant chemistry as soon as they met their ex for the first time?


You're Divorced, did You, or did You not 'Love' Your Wife at one Time? What difference does it make if it was Love @ 1st Sight or Instant Chemistry? If they Loved the Person when they Married them, are they any different than You?
 LetitiaLeGrande
Joined: 3/22/2015
Msg: 238
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Love at first sight
Posted: 5/7/2015 5:46:33 PM
sigungq

Just has not happened to you, is all. A sweeping statement to make. Plenty of us have felt that instant connection or chemistry, call it what you will.

Unicorns more than likely once existed. Why not??
 LetitiaLeGrande
Joined: 3/22/2015
Msg: 239
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Love at first sight
Posted: 5/7/2015 5:59:18 PM
maleman999

Why would you think that people can fall in love at first sight with someone they consider very ugly and obese? Not likely is it? Physical attraction is what it is about initially, pheromones etc. The way they walk and talk etc. Whether it turns into an enduring love, happens sometimes, sometimes not. Can a man for instance ever fall in love with a woman they consider plain and not physically appealing?? I would like to know.
 Behind-Blue-Eyes_53
Joined: 12/19/2011
Msg: 240
Love at first sight
Posted: 5/7/2015 6:26:19 PM

Can a man for instance ever fall in love with a woman they consider plain and not physically appealing?? I would like to know.


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9NF5XU-k2Vk
 south_city
Joined: 10/12/2013
Msg: 241
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Love at first sight
Posted: 5/8/2015 6:10:05 AM
Lust or physical attraction = Yes.
Love = No.

I need to know other things about them before I might fall in love. Personality, beliefs, values, overall compatibility etc
 Maleman999
Joined: 2/14/2010
Msg: 242
Love at first sight
Posted: 5/8/2015 6:19:59 AM

maleman999...Why would you think that people can fall in love at first sight with someone they consider very ugly and obese?


Quote exactly where that statement is made. I don't recall any statement resembling that.
 Dee4166
Joined: 6/16/2007
Msg: 243
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Love at first sight
Posted: 5/8/2015 6:34:08 AM
I was going to write my usual, pragmatic thing about how there's no such thing as "love" at first sight....

Then, I remembered Leo Buscaglia....

He's written many books on love and the dynamics of love and for the most part, for years, I really didn't take anything he spoke of too seriously....
Then one day, it hit me what he was trying to say...That love originates WITHIN us and not from outside.
That means that at any given moment we can FEEL loved and/or 'in love' as it is a feeling that WE feel.....

All of that to say that falling in love has more to do with where we, ourselves are at, so to speak than who we actually meet....

One of the reasons that I always say that a good relationship is a combination of meeting the right person at the right time, in the right place.

Still...I don;t really believe in love at first sight when all is said and done....

Mostly because my own, personal definition of love is to KNOW the other person well,accept them for who they are, flaws and all, while appreciating who they are as a person, which takes time, and is not to be confused with that 'instant chemistry/infatuation' that we may feel with someone new....

There's little doubt that the changing mores of our society has made divorce more acceptable and common, which it wasn't back in the day, when many people did get married, 'until Death do us part'....

While I know that a lot of people think that 'time served' in marriage indicates some kind of 'special' knowledge and.or skills at relationships, etc. I, personally, know of quite a few marriages that are more a product of habit than love in any way shape and/or form.
 clooneystutor
Joined: 3/8/2015
Msg: 244
Love at first sight
Posted: 5/8/2015 7:04:19 AM


a product of habit than love


Amen sister! This really resonates with me :)
 Hearton64
Joined: 12/18/2012
Msg: 245
Love at first sight
Posted: 5/8/2015 7:18:49 AM
Lust at first sight....absolutely.

Love? That takes time as love isn't a noun, it's a verb.
 Eckhartwarmingtolle
Joined: 4/26/2015
Msg: 246
Love at first sight
Posted: 5/8/2015 7:23:13 AM
Msg 227


Even "instant chemistry" is unicorn.


I've ridden more than one....and I've never taken hallucinogens

Just sayin
 Maleman999
Joined: 2/14/2010
Msg: 247
Love at first sight
Posted: 5/8/2015 7:47:39 AM
Does that mean every song I hear on the radio where the lyrics are about two strangers who happen to meet and instantly fall madly in love with each other and live happily ever after, or movies with the same theme might not be totally accurate, and that there might be other ways that people fall in love? Who knew.
 InnerGorilla
Joined: 4/1/2014
Msg: 248
Love at first sight
Posted: 5/8/2015 7:59:50 AM

That love originates WITHIN us and not from outside.


I can agree with this. The problem is that I can have all the love inside of me and wanting to give it to another person. But unless there's reciprocation, unless there's a constant state of action, unless as you love you feel LOVED, it doesn't matter how you feel inside, it will not be real.

I've met plenty of women that felt so damaged by someone that hurt them, that they were unable to open up and love again. They had their wall so high, nobody could come in. And they spent their time in pain remembering the past.

But like you say, Dee, it's a matter of timing. You have to be willing to want to love, but also to be open to be loved. As you open up, you open up your vulnerability to getting hurt again. But until you completely do open up, love will not show up. Regardless of how infatuated you may be in the beginning.
 Siennarh
Joined: 5/1/2015
Msg: 249
Love at first sight
Posted: 5/8/2015 8:02:34 AM


I can agree with this. The problem is that I can have all the love inside of me and wanting to give it to another person. But unless there's reciprocation, unless there's a constant state of action, unless as you love you feel LOVED, it doesn't matter how you feel inside, it will not be real.
Oh I can 'love' someone even if they hate my guts and don't reciprocate, but I know boundaries.
 gtomustang
Joined: 6/16/2007
Msg: 250
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Love at first sight
Posted: 5/8/2015 8:09:25 AM
you might feel the chemical releases in your brain that feels like love, you might act "in love", you might carry out "love" with another person.

the eternal question is...does all love really have to last, in order for it to be love? does all loves in your life have to have the same intensity? If you love one type of car or type of roller coaster or type of food....can you not love another? can you not supersede your view of love, as you get older and change it's definition?

is changing your definition of it as you age, a bad thing?
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