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 CharminC
Joined: 2/19/2011
Msg: 251
Love at first sightPage 11 of 13    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13)

I've ridden more than one....and I've never taken hallucinogens



You've been downtown on a Friday/Saturday night haven't you? Let me guess, Club nior? Sin City? :O


I still equate the whole business of love with the flame. It's the perfect analogy for me. That's my story and I'm sticking to it.
 Eckhartwarmingtolle
Joined: 4/26/2015
Msg: 252
Love at first sight
Posted: 5/8/2015 8:16:59 AM

You've been downtown on a Friday/Saturday night haven't you? Let me guess, Club nior? Sin City? :O


lol , not that I recall CheekyC

Instant chemistry to me is someone I feel comfortable with and who's company I enjoy from the get go
 SLAFFA
Joined: 8/13/2007
Msg: 253
Love at first sight
Posted: 5/8/2015 8:23:10 AM
Real Chemistry between 2 people - pheromones - NEVER goes away. It imprints on one's brain. One might even find the other person despicable in one way or the other after "dating" [and most likely sex] for a month or two. You merely hear their name, or see them in a store, possibly months or years later and your heart rate doubles within a couple of seconds. You are likely to get "nervous" too. It's an UN conscious reaction. Evolution at work and nothing more.

The real Q is whether it's a curse or a blessing to have actually HAD it with someone?

The trouble is...

Once we learn to walk we can never go back to crawling.

Or maybe YOU did?

The good news is that obviously most people meet and fall in Love w/o it. It's NOT a necessary component for a man and woman to fall in Love. NOT having it with another person does not make the bond or Love any weaker. It simply means any offspring between the two will be Genetically less "adaptable".

It goes w/o saying that people can fall out of Love. Happens all the time. But they can never fall out of Chemistry.
 CharminC
Joined: 2/19/2011
Msg: 254
Love at first sight
Posted: 5/8/2015 8:35:56 AM
CheekyC?

Who the hell is that?! It sounds like a Spice girl that ran away to be a teletubbie .... (I still say they are creeepy lil fukkers)



I like instant chemistry. It's instant.. like ramen noodles. Just needs heat and voila. Instant noodle!....... heh
My problem is I am too damn nice and friendly with no fear of the public.............andddd the fact that I lip read to communicate.
I treat men and women the same but more often than not they (I say they because I've come across this issue with gay women too lol) get drawn in by my outwardly nature and the fact that I am always looking at them to lipread. When I notice they are getting "attracted" I have to shift how I interact with them ie; make sure I don't touch them, keep a distance, look away..... to ensure I don't give them the wrong impression of being attracted to them which I'm not. It's annoying because there is nothing better than meeting new people and interacting in a friendly, kind and polite way. It truly makes the days go by so well and it makes the world a more friendlier place to live, imo. So I like to keep that good feeling vibe going without any hassle. But meh, such is life. I suppose I should take it as a compliment but it makes me anti social when I'd prefer to be social.
 CrookCatcher
Joined: 7/14/2014
Msg: 255
Love at first sight
Posted: 5/8/2015 8:53:22 AM

You merely hear their name, or see them in a store, possibly months or years later and your heart rate doubles within a couple of seconds. You are likely to get "nervous" too.


I had that exact experience two weeks
ago!

I was walking into to the grocery store and happened to look at the other exit door and saw this woman I was involved with for five years (14 yrs. ago) walking out....my heartbeat went through the roof....started getting tense....what do I say....what do I say....I said....what in the world are you doing in this town....she looked at me....kind of stopped and said excuse me?.....I mean I fell all over again....walked over to her and said I can't believe it's really you....you look great....turned out it wasn't her....but never the less....you make a good point.
 daynadaze
Joined: 2/11/2008
Msg: 256
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Love at first sight
Posted: 5/8/2015 9:25:13 AM
Loving someone who hates you, unless it's a teenage child full of angst, that's just seeking drama.
 chameleonf
Joined: 12/22/2008
Msg: 257
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Love at first sight
Posted: 5/8/2015 9:32:56 AM
@ crookcatcher - baaahahahaha! Doppelganger pheromones and all!
 Dee4166
Joined: 6/16/2007
Msg: 258
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Love at first sight
Posted: 5/8/2015 11:24:14 PM
Well if I wanted to run my Life by 'chemistry', then I would be a plant....or a dog...or something.....like that....lol

Chemistry is nice, but it's NOT love, as is the case with infatuation....

Those are the things that can bind people together until love decides whether to 'show up' or not, and they don't hurt at times when you could cheerfully STRANGLE your partner....lol

But Love...well, I do remember what that felt like.....

It was when I knew that I accepted him in all of his glory and failings, and loved him in spite of those failings, and sometimes, even because of them.....!!

For me it's nice to have that chemistry in that we speak each other's language and are comfortable with each other, but I really don't expect much more than that and lust, of course, lol, until some time has passed and we have gotten to know each other better.....

I don't think that I have any 'hangover' feelings for anyone anymore, that would make me all fluttery and nervous should I run into them....
Mostly, if there had been good chemistry and they still look good, I just get a flash of lust...followed by a reminder of all of the reasons that it didn't work out, and that, is the end, of THAT.....
The entire process takes about 30 seconds altogether and then it's like it never happened....
 GattoMonstrosis
Joined: 4/4/2013
Msg: 259
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Love at first sight
Posted: 5/9/2015 12:47:38 AM
What does Love even mean? I know what it means to me, what i associate it with and what i am thinking or feeling when i say it, but who knows what the other person is actually hearing? There have been times when i've been chatting that i just stop and think "We're using the same words but we're speaking different languages."

I think too much. :)
 Vicki159
Joined: 6/3/2014
Msg: 260
Love at first sight
Posted: 5/9/2015 1:13:50 AM
Im going to say yes. The best relationships Ive been in Ive known as soon as I saw them. Ever hear of first impressions? When you go for a job ect. Well there is a lot in that. You might not be aware of it but you can tell a lot about someone just by how they look, how they move, what they wear ect.

Now that does not necessarily mean they felt the same about me, but Im still going to go with yes.

I would ask my mum how you know when youve met the right person and she would say. You just know. I think you do, I just knew. Simple as that.
 Maleman999
Joined: 2/14/2010
Msg: 261
Love at first sight
Posted: 5/9/2015 6:05:32 AM

I would ask my mum how you know when youve met the right person and she would say. You just know. I think you do, I just knew. Simple as that.


The same logic can apply to knowing you met the wrong person right away, if they're unattractive or acting weird or say weird things. I wonder how many divorced people thought they met the right person and just knew, only to have Mr./Miss Right become Mr./Miss Wrong.
 Dee4166
Joined: 6/16/2007
Msg: 262
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Love at first sight
Posted: 5/9/2015 6:57:18 AM

What does Love even mean? I know what it means to me, what i associate it with and what i am thinking or feeling when i say it, but who knows what the other person is actually hearing? There have been times when i've been chatting that i just stop and think "We're using the same words but we're speaking different languages."


Exactly!!!

That's what I meant with being able to 'speak the same language'.....It's a sense of ease and comfort that comes unexpectedly when you meet someone who is a kindred spirit....



I think too much. :)


I've been guilty of the same...I always try and remember that where all think alike, nobody thinks too much....because most folks don't think too much these days....imo



Im going to say yes. The best relationships Ive been in Ive known as soon as I saw them. Ever hear of first impressions? When you go for a job ect. Well there is a lot in that. You might not be aware of it but you can tell a lot about someone just by how they look, how they move, what they wear ect.


But first impressions are often misleading ones.....ime. Also, a lot of that 'information' is really just superficial....



would ask my mum how you know when youve met the right person and she would say. You just know. I think you do, I just knew. Simple as that.


See I have a difficult time with this.....

The reason being that you know NOTHING real about the person at that stage, so, if asked, what would you say that you "fell in love WITH", in that case....?
What traits about the person do you feel are worthy of noting and 'loving' in a total stranger?

For me that speaks more to your own, personal emotional state rather than anything to do with the other person in actuality....
 Maleman999
Joined: 2/14/2010
Msg: 263
Love at first sight
Posted: 5/9/2015 8:08:08 AM
"You just know. I think you do, I just knew. Simple as that."

It's funny how in some cases, the hot looking 25 year old woman just knows when she found her dream man-the 70 year old multi-millionaire.
 CharminC
Joined: 2/19/2011
Msg: 264
Love at first sight
Posted: 5/9/2015 8:41:12 AM

For me that speaks more to your own, personal emotional state rather than anything to do with the other person in actuality...


aka lust
Some people luck out when it lust turns into genuine love over time

Nothing wrong with lust. Some of the best memories we have is because of it.
 GattoMonstrosis
Joined: 4/4/2013
Msg: 265
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Love at first sight
Posted: 5/9/2015 9:12:33 AM

That's what I meant with being able to 'speak the same language'.....It's a sense of ease and comfort that comes unexpectedly when you meet someone who is a kindred spirit....


That's when dates go really really well, when the other person gets who you are, where you are coming from and what you're saying, and you get them, you don't have to keep explaining yourself or look across at a blank expression because they're just not getting it. That's what i meant in another message about amazing connections, when everything goes right and the conversation really flows because you know exactly what the other person means to the point where you're finishing each others thoughts, you feel so in synch it's like you've done a month of dating in an hour.



I've been guilty of the same...I always try and remember that where all think alike, nobody thinks too much....because most folks don't think too much these days....imo


We live in the age of dogmatic googleism, don't bother having an original thought, google wikipedia and repeat it verbatim. :)



The reason being that you know NOTHING real about the person at that stage, so, if asked, what would you say that you "fell in love WITH", in that case....? What traits about the person do you feel are worthy of noting and 'loving' in a total stranger?


I know there have been times when i've looked back on a relationship and it has felt like i knew right from the word go, but that's just because i am looking back at it knowing where it did go and not remembering any bumps or wobbly bits.
 Joegl209
Joined: 10/13/2014
Msg: 266
Love at first sight
Posted: 5/10/2015 2:17:43 AM
I do not believe in love in first sight, I believe in lust at first sight. Love requires too many positive and negative things to just fall in love with a beautiful woman just by looking at her. I could find a woman gorgeous then her attitude or behavior could turn me off quicker than a light switch!
 LetitiaLeGrande
Joined: 3/22/2015
Msg: 267
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Love at first sight
Posted: 5/10/2015 5:49:50 AM
Vicki159

I am with you, it is pretty instant or it isn't. It is like you recognise them or they seem familiar. For me I have known within about a minute if I am attracted or the chemistry is there. Not everyone is the same obviously and people do marry without being in love and just sometimes settling and sometimes that arrangement works best because of low expectations and they are friends at least. It takes all kinds. I know what lust is and it is not the same as "in love". It is a component of course. No guarantee any relationship will last but without that chemistry I would not bother to get to know them. But that is me.

 Dee4166
Joined: 6/16/2007
Msg: 268
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Love at first sight
Posted: 5/10/2015 6:12:11 AM

aka lust
Some people luck out when it lust turns into genuine love over time

Nothing wrong with lust. Some of the best memories we have is because of it.


Yup...agreed.....

I just have a problem with such casual use of the word "Love", I guess....

For me it's become one of those overused 'buzz words' that people throw around that eventually becomes meaningless due to misuse....

There's NOTHING wrong with infatuation and lust.....as I mentioned, they are the 'glue' that can hold you together until love has a chance to grow....

But I make NO mistake that 'loving' someone is NOT a 'just add water and mix' kind of deal...not for me, any way....

Love is something that comes with time and knowing the person as the individual they are....

It can be like unwrapping a present every day when you are really into someone....;-)
 Siennarh
Joined: 5/1/2015
Msg: 269
Love at first sight
Posted: 5/10/2015 6:15:39 AM

aka lust
Some people luck out when it lust turns into genuine love over time

Confusing concept for me, I know for most there is a clear cut difference for just lust but not so much for me.
Lust/infatuation and love is like inseparable for me but I know most others have a different thing going on there. lol
 Vicki159
Joined: 6/3/2014
Msg: 270
Love at first sight
Posted: 5/10/2015 8:26:41 AM

But first impressions are often misleading ones.....ime. Also, a lot of that 'information' is really just superficial....


They are not 100% accurate I agree. But there is more information there than you think and its this that is IMPORTANT information not superficial. The way he walks, hes body language the expressions on hes face. The big one for me is hes eyes, you look into a mans eyes and you can see it. For me, when it clicks with a man its what I see in hes eyes. What I see is a glint of humour when you say something he thinks is funny, a softeness that says hes kinds, a lust that says he wants you all these things and much more are far more telling about how he feels about me than anything he can say or do. When hes angry its a cool calm look of concern, of working out how to handle the situation, how to stand hes ground without smashing you.


The reason being that you know NOTHING real about the person at that stage, so, if asked, what would you say that you "fell in love WITH", in that case....?
What traits about the person do you feel are worthy of noting and 'loving' in a total stranger?


An acceptance of wanting to get to know the person. I think all people are worthy, all people bring something with them it just might not be something I want/need or I may not be something they want/need. Also, I enjoy loving. Maybe the thing I had to learn along the way was to be able to be loved, allow that to happen and take what I needed, the loving someone else is like breathing, it comes naturally. Not with everyone, but if I feel that way then I want to love them.


No guarantee any relationship will last but without that chemistry I would not bother to get to know them.


Nor me, I would rather be with someone for 3 months and it doesnt work but I loved and was loved during that time than spend a lifetime with someone where neither of us loved each other, or one loved the other but it wasnt returned.
 gtomustang
Joined: 6/16/2007
Msg: 271
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Love at first sight
Posted: 5/10/2015 9:43:05 AM
sometimes, we think we love the person, but what we really love is how they make us feel. they are like a drug that gives us a rush, and we confuse that with loving them.
 daynadaze
Joined: 2/11/2008
Msg: 272
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Love at first sight
Posted: 5/10/2015 10:14:59 AM
Oh when I was young I thought everyone I lusted after was the love of my life. After a while you can tell the difference (if you want to, many do prefer lust and denial) between that wonderful feeling of lust, and that wonderful feeling of love.
 Seki1949
Joined: 9/4/2013
Msg: 273
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Love at first sight
Posted: 5/10/2015 4:04:35 PM

Those couples you see after so many years of marriage, all the ups and downs, still kissing and holding hands?


Old folks hold hands because they are afraid of falling. Once your ankles lose a certain amount of flexibility and reaction times lengthen the world becomes a newly scary place. Doesn't happen to everyone, but when it does you will understand.
 hotrodius
Joined: 6/15/2008
Msg: 274
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Love at first sight
Posted: 3/21/2016 4:33:31 PM
Yes it exists. It can happen to anyone, sometimes it' s one sided sometimes it's mutual. Lets face it most of us here have have desire of finding the one.
 gtomustang
Joined: 6/16/2007
Msg: 275
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Love at first sight
Posted: 3/21/2016 5:25:17 PM
boy, names from the past, posters I forgot about like Cheeky C. wonder where she's raising Cain now?

I'll admit, i'd be leery of someone who was in love with me before they got to know me. what about me could they fall for?
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