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 Ladyinred0407
Joined: 2/6/2016
Msg: 272
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Love at first sightPage 12 of 13    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13)
I wouldn't call it "love at first sight", but there was definitely something goin' on with my eyes, the second I laid eyes on BF when we met face to face for the first time. I walked into an Applebees, I spotted him, he spotted me, he stood, stepped forward and I laid my hands on his shoulders, and kissed him.................on his lips. He didn't hesitate for a second in response.
Don't need to call it anything, but ................"Just right".
 LetitiaLeGrande
Joined: 3/22/2015
Msg: 273
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Love at first sight
Posted: 4/18/2017 5:03:36 PM
ladyinred

wow!!! that was a reconnecting of souls from the past..... in my opinion. I fell in love with a guy that just crossed the dance floor in front of me. Not my type at all, short and as it turned out in a relationship which caused angst and ultimate separation but... never forgotten.

as for men being very visual, women are too but strong attraction is more than that..
 Cynderella
Joined: 3/8/2007
Msg: 274
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Love at first sight
Posted: 4/18/2017 5:04:35 PM
I believe there is but rare.
I feel love is like art at first chaos then something beautiful appears.
 Maleman999
Joined: 2/14/2010
Msg: 275
Love at first sight
Posted: 4/18/2017 5:16:55 PM
I wonder what the break-up rate is when comparing love-at-first-sighters and love at 30th or 40th date. It's fine and dandy to have love at first sight, but that's just the beginning of the game. The have to still be compatible and be on the same page in other aspects of life-especially if the love at first sight is with someone who is still pretty much a stranger.
 Ouija2025
Joined: 6/11/2014
Msg: 276
Love at first sight
Posted: 4/18/2017 5:32:29 PM
Certain I loved my husband first sight.
And I agree.. it is like you knew each other " before"
 cooldog65
Joined: 6/27/2011
Msg: 277
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Love at first sight
Posted: 4/18/2017 7:41:46 PM
I believe in lust at first sight...
 Chambella_
Joined: 7/10/2016
Msg: 278
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Love at first sight
Posted: 4/18/2017 9:19:50 PM
yes I also believe in LUST at first sight....maybe never to be "Love"
 norwegianguy456
Joined: 6/11/2015
Msg: 279
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Love at first sight
Posted: 4/19/2017 5:26:27 PM

Certain I loved my husband first sight.
And I agree.. it is like you knew each other " before"

Yeah, but I think that's retroactive. That's IF things work out, and looking back -- where the ga-ga feelings about them ended up following thru just as you imagined/felt. It's cute and all, but really, it wasn't of course actual Love at first sight. A crush at first sight, more like it -- that thankfully followed-thru.
 LetitiaLeGrande
Joined: 3/22/2015
Msg: 280
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Love at first sight
Posted: 4/19/2017 6:01:28 PM
razors edge55

You are right. You feel a connection at first sight but it cant really be love which is something that grows and
stands the test of time.
 p123a
Joined: 9/1/2013
Msg: 281
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Love at first sight
Posted: 5/16/2017 2:20:26 PM
Coup de foudre? Yes it exists. May not be mutual, may be only platonic. May be short or long. May make us happy or miserable. So many variations and possibilities.
 Maleman999
Joined: 2/14/2010
Msg: 282
Love at first sight
Posted: 5/16/2017 3:01:26 PM
Can a person have love at first sight with someone they don't consider physically attractive-guys who are too short, too obese, not good looking, etc? If not, then it's lust at first sight.
 gtomustang
Joined: 6/16/2007
Msg: 283
Love at first sight
Posted: 5/17/2017 11:50:01 AM
I don't think it was love at first sight, more like "i'd love to see how that feels" at first site, but I've known plenty of men who've noticed a sexually-confident woman with a pretty face and nice cleavage and otherwise a figure they may not have first put on their list of attractiveness, and comment, "man, there is just something about her, I don't know what it is."

"it", is the knowledge she won't be a tease, a gold digger, a "dinner thief" or any other terrible type of woman who sends boys running in fear. She's the type of woman who's as interested in sex as he is. it may not be love, but it sure is a feeling down below his brainbox that isn't rational.
 norwegianguy456
Joined: 6/11/2015
Msg: 284
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Love at first sight
Posted: 5/17/2017 12:21:49 PM

Coup de foudre? Yes it exists. May not be mutual, may be only platonic. May be short or long. May make us happy or miserable. So many variations and possibilities.

Well, if it's only platonic it's not love, in the context of love at first sight. If it's too "short" -- then it's likely not true love either. I would say if it's knowingly one-way (thus potentially miserable?) -- an argument can be made that it's not true love, but (merely) a taste of key strong elements of true love. In the end, no, I don't believe in actual true Love at literally First sight. I think that'd be ridiculous in the literal sense, but more poetic -- like one having way-too-soon strong feelings for them hastily, riding off just their look.

Can a person have love at first sight with someone they don't consider physically attractive-guys who are too short, too obese, not good looking, etc? If not, then it's lust at first sight.

Well, first Sight means not second sight, right? So them walking across the room -- freeze frame... you're "in love", if it's love-at-first-sight. So it has to be about physical attraction. It's not "Love at the end of a lengthy 1st encounter, meeting, or date." :)

I've known plenty of men who've noticed a sexually-confident woman with a pretty face and nice cleavage and otherwise a figure they may not have first put on their list of attractiveness, and comment, "man, there is just something about her, I don't know what it is."

One of the interesting things I've noticed over the years -- internally and much observation 2nd-hand -- is that physical attraction bleeds into the whole "thing". Physical attraction isn't a mere linear scale of 1-10, although a general raw attraction is set there -- but certain looks & attribute combos draw us in. Bob may love a gal with red hair, where the gal's other attributes will have lots of leeway in his mind. Jim likes another gal who's pretty but not gorgeous, but he is So drawn to her like she is -- it's "more than that". Yeah, she looks like his ex-gf, and her facial expressions and the way she carries herself (which is still: looks, looks, looks) resonates with that. Or maybe an actress on TV where one gets to know her (TV) personality. Attributes outside looks can be associated with looks -- even though you don't know those other attributes (yet).
 NYCKOSI
Joined: 4/24/2015
Msg: 285
Love at first sight
Posted: 5/17/2017 3:57:29 PM
Must have been some really good pot
 gtomustang
Joined: 6/16/2007
Msg: 286
Love at first sight
Posted: 5/19/2017 1:52:48 PM
"Physical attraction isn't a mere linear scale of 1-10, although a general raw attraction is set there "

>>>perhaps when we are young and don't know a lot about sex, we focus on a general appearance template--what's the bust to waist ratio, does she have big eyes, etc. But as we get older, the "connoissers" amongst us might realize that "What she has" can be eclipsed by "What can she do with it". We may see, for example, a man or a woman move their hips well on the dance floor, and make assumptions about how they dance horizontally. Or recognize someone may be an energetic lover, or a sensual one, or a creative one, or a spontaneous one, or can make US feel desired, and worry less about how they're going to look naked and laying statically in bed.

a 2 dimension centerfold of a naked woman might not do as much for us, but if she has a certain smile on her face or is posed in a position with certain backgrounds, we might take all that and think up a fantasy that really turns us on. We might be able to imagine her being very spontaneous. Or willing to seduce us rather than us work hard to seduce her. sometimes it may not be, "Wow, she's a 1o and she wants me?", it may be "wow, this bartender meets so many guys in a week she can choose from...and she wants me?"

sometimes we may not love or lust after the person, but the scenario.
 ishiri
Joined: 4/21/2017
Msg: 287
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Love at first sight
Posted: 5/19/2017 3:15:12 PM
sticky toffee pudding with salted caramel ice cream = love at first sight. I've felt a sizzle with certain men that I've met in the past but I wouldn't call it love. There was one though. It felt like I'd met my twin flame but there were no sparks. We're still friends though. Strangely enough, he went on to meet someone who resembled me and who he swears he met in a previous life.
 Maleman999
Joined: 2/14/2010
Msg: 288
Love at first sight
Posted: 5/19/2017 8:25:23 PM
How do blind people find love, since love at first sight can be a little difficult?
 spot4username
Joined: 12/15/2015
Msg: 289
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Love at first sight
Posted: 5/20/2017 5:24:15 AM

How do blind people find love, since love at first sight can be a little difficult?


I see what you did there.

Just the other day there was a very popular thread on reddit asking how blind gay people knew they were gay. Some of the responses were fascinating.

I believe in lust at first sight.
 beercookies
Joined: 5/24/2012
Msg: 290
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Love at first sight
Posted: 5/20/2017 10:49:32 AM
It is not "lust" at first sight bc there is a corny soulmate element, that they represent a prototype fantasy of your ideal leading man or woman you held subconsciously in some abstract way, that you ascribe with all the qualities of a perfect, unconditional love.

So, yeah, they have to be usually good looking. Or, maybe resemble somebody familiar that you associate with security and love. Maybe they look like your parent, but younger of course.

Lust at first sight looks a bit different imo. That's about weird momentary curiosity, could be different and varied types, even not physical ideals, just the energy of a person, a momentary intrigue.

Some people seem like an old friend at first meet and others you never quite mesh with, after years. Some call it past lives. It's an intriguing thought. It seems almost comforting.

However, LAFS is usually a way people mythologize their affairs, until there is a rupture. Then, it's.."he was not a soulmate", but a mere earthling.

When younger, the soulmate/LAFS phenom is more buy intoable. People are physically at their most ideal, hopes are freshest.

After 40 the jadedness, the tarnish on the patina, makes it harder to buy into cloying concepts like LAFS, esp when all the evidence is in by then that was mere foolishness.
Many pursue that drug LAFS with younger people.

Or, if one led a a sheltered life and had few experiences, they chase that grail, if only in their head.. A real ltr that's good involves working at it and goes through many iterations, but a key idea is one of selflessness.

The way LAFS is set up seems about dopamine reward centers lighting up, and it seems people continue chasing these highs which are beautifully pictorial in nature, but after you have the good looking arm accessory, you have to do something with it.

Most people don't expect to get it or seem content with possession, but a ltr dies without selflessness. This aspect does not seem lauded, but a sign you are a patsy or unfortunate one.
 norwegianguy456
Joined: 6/11/2015
Msg: 291
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Love at first sight
Posted: 5/20/2017 11:25:09 AM

Just the other day there was a very popular thread on reddit asking how blind gay people knew they were gay.

I guess the same way we can with our eyes close. If you hear a "OHhhh, Hellllllloooooooooo!" ;)

It is not "lust" at first sight bc there is a corny soulmate element, that they represent a prototype fantasy of your ideal leading man or woman you held subconsciously in some abstract way, that you ascribe with all the qualities of a perfect, unconditional love.

Good way to put how one feels to fit the mold of "love at first sight" -- but I will say just because there is that feeling of core want-to-settle-down element to it, doesn't mean it's void of "lust" that's a driving force. I guess it brings the notion of "what is lust?" Lust isn't pure raw sex and only pure raw sex -- or the pure intentions of a porn plot with the same plotline too.

As wikipedia starts out with, referencing a paper about our emotions: "Lust is a strong emotion or feeling. The lust can take any form such as the lust for sex, lust for expensive objects (extravagance) or the lust for power. It can take such mundane forms as the lust for food as distinct from the need for food. Lust is a psychological force producing intense wanting for an object, or circumstance fulfilling the emotion."

So when I say "love at first sight" is lust at first sight -- I'm not saying it's lust-for-sex... even though that concept is most certainly there, even if it's not the focal point nor The thing that's wanted. You're lusting after Them. Love is deeper than seeing that person and, as you point out, subconsciously connecting the dots of the qualities that resonate with what is (the feeling of) a perfect person in your emotional eye. It's deeper than just "he/she is pretty attractive" -- as it has also has hooks into the greater picture... merely by observing them like a robot scan. :) It is animalistic, shoot-from-the-hip emotion -- not running deep... but people don't want it downplayed because it's not common when we do feel it, but at the same time, no, it's certainly not love... it's lusting after that Person.

We may see, for example, a man or a woman move their hips well on the dance floor, and make assumptions about how they dance horizontally. Or recognize someone may be an energetic lover, or a sensual one, or a creative one, or a spontaneous one, or can make US feel desired, and worry less about how they're going to look naked and laying statically in bed.

I that is pretty much subconscious connecting the dots (first thoughts had: "I can't explain it man, she just... gets me"), and I dunno -- at a younger age that was there when observing girls. I think I was more open & less picky in what'd draw me, but much of that was due to me not having experience with girls. So I was actually less picky on looks, but certain qualities observed on an Average Jane drew me in more than today.

I think what you may be getting at though too is that because of experiences with many of the opp sex over time -- we associate certain qualities with certain positives that we didn't before when we were young, which will be noticed and matter more. Much of that can be boiled down to what is actually just stereotyping (coorelation doesn't = causation), in the way we're built, hence our tastes evolving.
 FullMoonGuy
Joined: 3/7/2014
Msg: 292
Love at first sight
Posted: 5/20/2017 11:49:56 AM

We may see, for example, a man or a woman move their hips well on the dance floor,


"My hips don't lie"

-Shakira
 moraima
Joined: 6/26/2005
Msg: 293
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Love at first sight
Posted: 5/20/2017 2:55:20 PM
"Shakira" knows exactly what she is talking about.

She feeds multiple villages with her hips. (Google it!)
 ThroatLozenge
Joined: 3/2/2016
Msg: 294
Love at first sight
Posted: 7/4/2017 7:12:48 AM
I hear oxytocin withdrawal is a b!tch.

I'm considering starting a clinic to help women cope with it.
 Seki1949
Joined: 9/4/2013
Msg: 295
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Lust at first sight
Posted: 7/4/2017 2:11:06 PM
I call it, "My DNA wants Your DNA."
 hemingway234
Joined: 6/6/2015
Msg: 296
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Love at first sight
Posted: 7/5/2017 4:22:13 AM
Is there such a thing as love at first sight? - Kinda.

When you meet someone and are attracted to them, the level of attraction can vary....... sometimes it can be a little, moderate, or a high level of attraction. If it's a high level of attraction, it can feel like love at first sight.

Either way, if attraction is a little or a lot at first, if dating goes just right, the love can grow. So I don't think you need to hold out for love at first sight.

That said, the higher your partner's attraction from the start, the better your chances. That's the horse you want to put your money on.
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