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 Gertrude13
Joined: 5/14/2012
Msg: 28
Love at first sightPage 2 of 13    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13)
Yeah, I believe in love at first sight. Happened to me three times.

Each time, they were red, wrinkly, screaming, and had just hurt me very badly.
Man, I can still glimpse that ocean that washed me away the minute their bloody little bodies were settled into my arms. My heart beat outside my body, and the entire world shrank to a sphere just big enough for the two of us. Many have tried to describe that falling in love, and have failed as miserably as I just did...

Now that they are much larger and frequently evil, I sometimes suspect that those disembodied hearts may be horcruxes, but it doesn't matter. That was love at first sight. I have never, ever come close to feeling that any other time. I know Oxytocin and all her pals do a dance on the postpartum mom's brain, but I haven't breastfed for many years, and it's still there, strong as ever, taking my breath away sometimes.

What did I love about them? everything. Including their poop. Amazing meconium...

But for a man? Nope, never. Pretty sure I never even had lust at first sight (excluding the trailers for Magic Mike. Sigh)
I can't fathom it, not one bit. But for those who have - Amazing, and I'm jealous:)
 onlydateIF
Joined: 11/15/2011
Msg: 30
Love at first sight
Posted: 6/4/2012 7:06:23 PM
When it's real, he'll overcome her doubts...
 AddHomonym
Joined: 12/26/2011
Msg: 31
Love at first sight
Posted: 6/4/2012 7:31:20 PM

It hasn't happened to me, but I know that it has happened for some people. I think it has more to do with soul/spirit than intellect or anything else. Jmo 'n all.


I happen to believe in love at first sight without a doubt. Lust at first sight is kind of stupid and really denigrates something beautiful and magical. This kind of experience transcends sex and desire - perhaps it isn't possible to understand without first hand experience?

Now I'm about to wander into the realms of dancing unicorns and such, so don't label me as a hypocrite just yet. I describe myself as spiritual but not religious simply because I have yet to find a system of thought that appeals to me. I always put my "faith" in science and empirical evidence but I also understand that these things can only take us so far. There is obviously so much more out there that science cannot even begin to describe or fathom, so I consider a rigid adherence to science to be a crippling shortcoming.

I would describe the experience of love at first sight as something more along the lines of two souls recognizing one another. It's not unlike going to a party and meeting an old, long lost yet dear friend. When you see this person, you forget about everything and everyone else at the party and spend all of your time in their presence. The love at first sight thing is similar except of course for the fact that you have never met before.

Once upon a time, I walked into a pub with a friend. She needed to meet a classmate I didn't know to get some notes there. I not only knew exactly who she was there to meet but I was nearly knocked off of my feet when I saw her. I knew her and I cared for her and she hadn't even so much as laid her eyes upon me at that point. I was completely smitten and that feeling never went away. We became fast friends. Then I met the love of her life and he also became a friend. I went to their wedding. They are happy and have at least a couple of children now. I don't ever visit them. They probably wonder why I never call or come over for a drink anymore. I just can't do it.

I wouldn't equate this experience to a relationship where trust and love develop over the years but it is obviously much more than anything relating to hormonal surges at seeing an attractive person. I don't know what it is and I don't have the vocabulary to accurately describe it but it is powerful and undeniable. It's actually rather unsettling from my perspective.

The Ancient Greeks identified seven kinds of love (I think) but my personal belief is that there are as many different kinds of love as there are people to fall in love with. This would be one of those. This woman I fell in love with at first sight married her high school sweetheart, they have a storybook kind of love and made a storybook kind of life for themselves, she is happy and knowing this makes me happy. So I stay away.
 WomanInProgress
Joined: 10/16/2005
Msg: 32
Love at first sight
Posted: 6/4/2012 7:35:53 PM
Being my overly logical self, I personally believe "love at first sight" is really love that grows from lust at first sight (whether consummated immediately or not) - but in hindsight the two are hard to separate; they tend to run together.

Sometimes lust turns into two people going their separate ways, and in that case it's easier to isolate the lust as such when you examine it later on.
 msholiday1
Joined: 5/19/2012
Msg: 33
Love at first sight
Posted: 6/4/2012 8:20:44 PM
Yes it does happen, it happened to me and my Precious Man. When we met it was magnetic and we were together everyday after that for 38 years and 30 days. It wasn't lust. We became intertwined with each other immediately, wanting and striving only the best for the other. We loved each other to the core of our being. Yes, there is love at first sight, I'm living proof of that. I met plenty of young men before my Precious Man and nothing like that happened and here on POF, not even close.
 Holymunchies
Joined: 5/28/2012
Msg: 34
view profile
History
Love at first sight
Posted: 6/4/2012 9:11:03 PM
The non-believers say love takes time and you can only be lusting or desiring someone at first sight. I agree partly.

What if you end up with both. The fairytale ending.

Love at first sight in my opinion is entirely possible... you just won't know it till you learn what real love is. When you look back at your life you might have actually had love at first sight but it could take a lifetime or longer to see it.
 amore01
Joined: 2/14/2012
Msg: 35
Love at first sight
Posted: 6/4/2012 9:24:04 PM
Im a believer of love on differant levels.That once in a life time love??? Yes,that exsists too.At least I like to believe that it happened when I was got married.Just because it didn"t last ,I refuse to be unhappy.I think being optimistic and knowing who Iam and being "this much" smarter with experiences of lifes lessons makes me hopeful that it will happen agian.And if it dosen't,then at least I will have a happy life with no regrets.
'
''
 adora71
Joined: 2/8/2010
Msg: 36
Love at first sight
Posted: 6/4/2012 10:03:16 PM
Like Gertrude, the only time I ever felt full-on "love" at first sight was when my kids were born. But the love started before seeing them.

Having said that, I have had a feeling of destiny or "deja vu" when I have met certain people. It isn't necessarily love, but a strong recognition and premonition that this person is going to be very important to my life. I know it sounds a little flaky, but I trust that feeling for the most part.

The tricky thing is after deep hurts. Suffering heartbreak makes me wonder if the feeling of familiarity is actually old family dynamics coming back to bite me in the butt. Is it better to just steer clear of every male that feels "right?" It is a very interesting thing to ponder, really.

As an aside, the feeling of familiarity or "rightness" happens with all kinds of people--not just romantic interests. Certain places trigger that feeling as well.
 Sticks70
Joined: 10/4/2011
Msg: 37
view profile
History
Love at first sight
Posted: 6/4/2012 10:10:59 PM

Each time, they were red, wrinkly, screaming, and had just hurt me very badly.
Man, I can still glimpse that ocean that washed me away the minute their bloody little bodies were settled into my arms. My heart beat outside my body, and the entire world shrank to a sphere just big enough for the two of us. Many have tried to describe that falling in love, and have failed as miserably as I just did...


Gertrude that was beautiful.
Thank you :)
 GoddessOfTheUniverse
Joined: 5/22/2012
Msg: 38
Love at first sight
Posted: 6/4/2012 10:18:47 PM
There is a very "fine line" between love, lust, attraction and infatuation. And it's, indeed, very difficult to separate and/or analyze between them.

As for me personally: The most intense, enjoyable, exciting, satisfying and thrilling moments of my life have been the precious, albeit very rare, experiences when I first laid eyes on somene that "shook me down deep in my soul". There was "something" about these people that INSTANTLY and IMMEDIATELY "rocked my world" and the vibrations reverberating deep inside of me caused immense physiological changes: sweating, flushed and turning beet red, shaking and trembling controllably, knees "gave way" dropping me to the floor, blah, blah, blah.....it's rare, very, very, very rare BUT IT DOES HAPPEN.

I've only been deeply in love a few times in my life and in every instance it happened INSTANTLY...love at first sight! There was no denying it.

Unfortunately, thru time, differences in lifestyles (I don't smoke, drink or use drugs and I live an extremely healthy lifestyle) ....none of "infatuations" lived that lifestyle so I had to release them to others who had similar lifestyles as they did.

Life moves on.......
 thepigofyourdreams
Joined: 2/23/2012
Msg: 39
Love at first sight
Posted: 6/4/2012 10:27:13 PM
Oh, boy.

As stated on the first page, let's say you run into someone and tell yourself it's "love at first sight". What in the HELL could you possibly list as qualities you love about a person you haven't even spoken to and know absolutely nothing about?

I'm dying to hear this.
 AddHomonym
Joined: 12/26/2011
Msg: 40
Love at first sight
Posted: 6/4/2012 10:44:18 PM
Just because someone has difficulty verbalizing an emotion doesn't mean that they aren't feeling something. Have you never felt happiness or fear without actually having any rational explanation for it? I'm sure I feel things all the time that I can't explain or describe and as much as I love words and language, they can be awfully cumbersome at times.
 thepigofyourdreams
Joined: 2/23/2012
Msg: 41
Love at first sight
Posted: 6/4/2012 10:51:16 PM

Have you never felt happiness or fear without actually having any rational explanation for it?


I can't say that I have, and I certainly would never claim to be instantly in love with a complete stranger when I couldn't even form of a list of qualities I love about them.
 Lionesse19
Joined: 3/30/2012
Msg: 42
Love at first sight
Posted: 6/4/2012 11:06:50 PM
Whereas there can be immediate attraction to someone as they unconsciously meet the image we have in our minds of our ideal mate in some way. I believe that it comes from past connections also. However it is only love if it continues and a relationship grows from that. I have experienced that feeling more than once and it has to be there for me to be interested in any way. It does feel like fate especially if it is mutual and is very powerful.

I also fell madly in love with my greatnephew the moment I laid eyes on him as a baby but dont feel that way about other children. What is it? I dont know. It is something primal and fiercely protective. Not romantic love of course but still, love.
 Secondhand_Lion
Joined: 11/10/2008
Msg: 43
view profile
History
Love at first sight
Posted: 6/4/2012 11:14:31 PM
Oh! Yes.....happens to me every time there is a Barrett Jackson auto auction.....not to mention Delahaye, Delage and Bugatti, how could a mere woman compair?

Well there is one woman I nearly forgot..."Svetlana Kapanina"...."youtube" this gal and if you don't fall in love at first sight....you will at first flight!
 Giggles10000
Joined: 6/17/2011
Msg: 44
Love at first sight
Posted: 6/4/2012 11:27:44 PM

I can't say that I have, and I certainly would never claim to be instantly in love with a complete stranger when I couldn't even form of a list of qualities I love about them.


I think different people love differently is the best expectation--

I love things about a person other than qualities--

I know that the men who have been important in my life--I knew the first time I saw them they would be important--would I call it love--(no it wasn't lust, cause one wasn't that attractive physically).

You can see intelligence in a person's eyes and smile--a twinkle. The way they walk and talk and carry themselves--how they treat others--what they risk in doing some things.

Some people want to call it chemistry set on fire leads to love but when you said qualities--it just leaves me flat--you can know all the bad there is to know about someone--and still love them so I dont think qualities fit here.

However, I think that some people overplay attraction--one man called me one night and then hung up and called me right back and asked if I felt it too...I told him I feel with my fingers.
 MisssButtons
Joined: 7/30/2011
Msg: 48
Love at first sight
Posted: 6/5/2012 3:09:51 AM
I believe in an instant connection and attraction that can lead to love quickly for some and with more time for others.
 Walts
Joined: 5/7/2005
Msg: 49
Love at first sight
Posted: 6/5/2012 4:09:43 AM

^^ You can dissect the rose, extract and study the components that cause the lovely scent.. I'll simply enjoy the aroma in its presence :)


Good to see we agree. I have no problem with grasping the moment, and enjoy what ya got,when ya get it. I just don't like trying to define or label something that it isn't. Just because I enjoy a person's presence instantly, there is no way I'm gonna define it as "love". Strong feelings???? Yep. Strong feelings that could potentially lead to love. Double yep.
I don't always understand why we "have" to try and define or label our intially feelings for each other,instead of like you say, enjoy those feelings. Again,something I get into trouble with the odd person that I'm trying to get to know is when they start trying to define what we are going thru a little too early in the "process". Who cares what we call it if we are having a good time enjoying each other's company and not hurting anybody?????
 CarKam1
Joined: 9/10/2011
Msg: 50
Love at first sight
Posted: 6/5/2012 5:51:00 AM

Thanks for all the replies! At the beginning, there was a tone of alienation, that I was alone. But reading on, finding that other's have experienced it... is awesome!

Perhaps I'm too much of a romantic idealist, for I do belive in instantainious love, or attraction, and the fairy tale "true love." Yet, understanding what it really is can be perplexing.

Sure, with time we can learn and reconize the things in others that we "love", but is this really love, or just an understanding of how well two individuals get along? And if this criteria is used to define love, then, can one love someone who possess no common traits at all?


I've found that there are different levels and stages of love.

Stage.1.
I love thunderstorms, camping, hunan dumplings, puddle hopping, Mario Brothers on Super Nintedo, the smell of a campfire, the smell and feel of rain, moss covered trees, the way my canoe paddle breaks into the glass surface of a lake first thing in the morning and of course...my coffee in the morning.

Stage.2.
I love my family, close friends, the sound of childrens laughter and the sound of the forest.

Stage.3.
I love my Son.

Stage.3.5
I love my Man

I think the way I differentiate stage 2 love and stage 3 love is how I communicate and want to communicate with them. When our date is over, do I miss him the moment he gets in the car and drives away? When I think of him do I smile and blush like a schoolgirl? Do I hang on every word he says? Do I stare at his lips a little longer than I should when he cracks a sexy smile? When he looks at me does my heart do a double thump? Or am I content to speak with him the next day or the day after? Do I hit a stage in our time together when I start planning what to buy at the grocery store during those awkward silences?

I met my fiance Sept.2011. My feelings for him are as intense now as they were then. What started out as very strong feelings at first sight quickly formed into Stage 3 love. But, I felt those feelings right from day 1 so maybe it was love all along. Who knows, but I can say that I personally am attracted to the way someone carries themselves in life and not just on physical attributes so lust did not come into play until I got to know him better.
 Gertrude13
Joined: 5/14/2012
Msg: 52
Love at first sight
Posted: 6/5/2012 6:30:56 AM
^^^lol! I thought that, too!
Damn cannibals are everywhere....

As for "love at first sight," it really does come down to how you're wired and how you define love. For me, there had to be a powerful connection (or at least, I had to THINK so.) to begin. Looks are only a tiny part of that - it's almost all between the ears for me, and it's damn rare. It's some heady stuff! But for me, "love" was what happened when I let go, pushed ego aside, and let him in completely. THAT was a conscious decision, and that's when I considered it love. Maybe other people aren't as guarded as I am, and once that connection sizzles, their heart pops right open. Maybe those people have experienced love at first sight, even as I define it.

People often can't answer "what do you love about the person.". It's actually reasonable. That connection isn't a conscious thing, really. Maybe your subconscious takes note of the way he carries himself, the words he uses, whatever, but it's tough to break it down. That being said, the wise person WOULD do well to make that list before giving his or her heart. Trust me on that one;)
 CarKam1
Joined: 9/10/2011
Msg: 53
Love at first sight
Posted: 6/5/2012 6:54:08 AM
LOL!!! No worries, I haven't been eating Bath Salts or anything and I'm not from Florida!!

Disclaimer: I am in no way shape or form insinuating that all people from Florida are on drugs or come from a family line of flesh eating zombies. If you don't understand my humor, please excuse me...I'm Canadian.
 Gertrude13
Joined: 5/14/2012
Msg: 54
Love at first sight
Posted: 6/5/2012 7:00:23 AM
^^^canadian humor rocks! And don't worry, you were perfectly clear. Obviously, I just need to get readers. Sux getting old...
 DrummingNut
Joined: 4/26/2010
Msg: 55
Love at first sight
Posted: 6/5/2012 7:14:44 AM
Love at first sight, in my life, has been:

when I first saw a certain puppy I was given

when I first saw each newborn child of mine

when I first saw 3 of my foster children

ATTRACTION at first sight (and no, not necessarily physical) has happened with some men.
 canna1231
Joined: 3/25/2012
Msg: 56
Love at first sight
Posted: 6/5/2012 7:21:07 AM
I agree with Igor, just because it hasn't happened to you doesn't mean it doesn't exist.
 thepigofyourdreams
Joined: 2/23/2012
Msg: 58
Love at first sight
Posted: 6/5/2012 9:46:16 AM
Of course, there's an initial "connection". That's how all relationships start, but to call it "love" cheapens the very word, in my opinion. I don't know about you, but "love" is a big f*cking deal in my world, and I would die for those I loved. To say I would do this for someone I know nothing about would be simply asinine.

How many of you believers in this "love at first sight" notion have ever approached a stranger to let them know of your sudden "love" for them? I'd venture to say not very many, considering they would probably run or pepper spray your ass.
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