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 Giggles10000
Joined: 6/17/2011
Msg: 59
Love at first sightPage 3 of 13    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13)
Maybe cause when I watched the movie Serendipity (http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0240890/ ) I understood that whole you are in my head for a reason.

Again I think some people never experience love--passionate love --they are closely guarded and become friends and then they mistake missing someone with loving someone--others want that passion that 10 years later is still burning inside for the other person.
 Gertrude13
Joined: 5/14/2012
Msg: 60
Love at first sight
Posted: 6/5/2012 9:57:15 AM

Of course, there's an initial "connection". That's how all relationships start, but to call it "love" cheapens the very word, in my opinion. I don't know about you, but "love" is a big f*cking deal in my world, and I would die for those I loved. To say I would do this for someone I know nothing about would be simply asinine.


Of course the "initial connection" isn't the whole story. For me, love is a decision, a commitment that may follow once that connection is made. Other than high-school puppy love, I've only taken that leap once in over four decades. When my kids were born, it was instantaneous and overwhelming. I would have killed or died for them, and still would. No question about it. Yeah, there's that whole evolutionary advantage of maternal hormones, but maybe these people who believe in love at first sight have a similar experience. Or Maybe they've confused damp or tented panties with love. I have no way of knowing or judging, but for me, it's not love with a man until I've made a conscious decision - a commitment.
 GoddessOfTheUniverse
Joined: 5/22/2012
Msg: 61
Love at first sight
Posted: 6/5/2012 12:30:34 PM
Westcoast-Reble: Please do not ever stop "dreaming your dreams" and filling your days and your nights with the fantasies and romantic ideology that brings joy into your world.

Do not let negative replies from people who cannot open up their hearts and their minds to allowing love to circulate into their lives.

When two people meet we experience either a NEGATIVE, NEUTRAL or POSITIVE "feeling" for someone. It's natural. We can't "help" ourselves...the feelings are their good, bad or no feelings at all.

It's rare, very rare but every now and then I meet someone (or see a photo) and I melt like jello on a hot day all excited and thrilled just looking at them.

How many of you people reading this message have fallen "crazy in love" (IF ONLY FOR A FEW MOMENTS IN TIME) with a favorite celebrity or entertainer? I'm betting MOST of you have, at one time or another, had a "secret crush" on SOMEONE at some time in your life. I REST MY CASE!!!
 Walts
Joined: 5/7/2005
Msg: 62
Love at first sight
Posted: 6/5/2012 5:43:05 PM

How many of you people reading this message have fallen "crazy in love" (IF ONLY FOR A FEW MOMENTS IN TIME) with a favorite celebrity or entertainer? I'm betting MOST of you have, at one time or another, had a "secret crush" on SOMEONE at some time in your life. I REST MY CASE!!!


What case???? You just explained a "crush" which PEOPLE (you) define as "love". In fact, what you just did was tell us you have no idea what "love" is. Honestly. You just did. A crush is a crush. Attraction is attraction. LOVE IS LOVE and really, I don't believe many ever truely experince it. As in other thread I stated, I would kill or die for someone I love. Would you????
 thepigofyourdreams
Joined: 2/23/2012
Msg: 63
Love at first sight
Posted: 6/5/2012 6:18:09 PM
Do not let negative replies from people who cannot open up their hearts and their minds to allowing love to circulate into their lives.


What kind of nutty shit is this? I don't believe anyone here has expressed an objection to "love" in and of itself, just the wild notion that it can form in an instant for a complete stranger you've never even spoken with.


How many of you people reading this message have fallen "crazy in love" (IF ONLY FOR A FEW MOMENTS IN TIME) with a favorite celebrity or entertainer?


Admired greatly? Sure. Found highly desirable?? Certainly. Fantasized about banging? Oh, hell yes.

But LOVE?? No. Some of us live in what is known as reality.
 GoddessOfTheUniverse
Joined: 5/22/2012
Msg: 64
Love at first sight
Posted: 6/5/2012 7:16:27 PM
Instantainious love.....once you've experienced it then anyone who is doubtful it exists will be converted!

As for those hideous "laundry lists" some people feel compelled to adjust their lives around....forget them and just 'live life'.

I've never had a "list of qualities" I expect someone to fulfill and I never will....I just live and enjoy life until I die!

I have never "believed" in the confining, "jail-type" lifestyle of marriage and never will. I have turned down many opportunities for marriage (and having kids...ugh) because I do not follow the sheep heading to the slaughter house of boredom, doom and gloom. Let' start enjoying the journey instead of worrying about the destination.

Enjoy life moment-to-moment and life will become more enjoyable for you as the days come and go.

Let's stop the "own and control", take over someone's life with the "gotta get married" attitude.

I recently met someone I was "wild and crazy" about. Unfortunately he just HAD to get married or else he felt "jipped". Huh? Ridiculous. I wanted to enjoy life...he wanted to "trap and cage" me. Why? Why, oh, why does society put such a premium on marriage when more then 60% of them fail. I don't "get" it.

Divorce causes bitterness, hate, resentment, financial trauma, misery and heartbreak. Who needs that!!!! I avoided that horrendous situation and I've always lived life "my way".

What is so great about marriage? Fighting, cheating, sneaking-around, ........
 Gertrude13
Joined: 5/14/2012
Msg: 66
Love at first sight
Posted: 6/7/2012 2:59:10 AM
^^^ You make some compelling points. There really is a difference between the explosion felt when you see your newborn for the first time and the connection with another adult. For one, there's no sexual component with the newborn. They are generally hideous-looking creatures, although the parent often can't see that, lol. More importantly, the baby will not love you back - not in the same way. It doesn't have the same fierce protective instinct that can take the parent's breath away. The parent knows its really a one-way street, and is ok with that.

I think some posters are impatient with the idea of "love at first sight" in adults because they have seen too many people who consider love to be something you feel, not something you do. Too many people who experience Eros without agape and call that "true love."
 Maleman999
Joined: 2/14/2010
Msg: 67
Love at first sight
Posted: 6/7/2012 6:40:21 AM
From the responses, it seems like women can experience love at first sight more easily than guys, while the guys take a more logical approach to instant love to a total stranger and question it more. Since most people here have experienced failed relationships, at what point did the love at first sight turn into hate at second and third sight and wanting a divorce? I think another problem with love at first sight or whatever hormonal chemical reaction is going on in the brain, is people lose common sense and will overlook all red flags and could end up with another Ted Bundy or some axe murderer and not realize it or keep denying it until it's too late.
 joe_226
Joined: 11/19/2011
Msg: 68
view profile
History
Love at first sight
Posted: 6/7/2012 10:37:27 AM
westcoast-reble,
I, personally, do not believe the cliche of "love at 1st site". I believe that cliche is used when something about a person "sparks" in the other...and that "spark" turns into a "raging flame" of human emotions for that person...but 1 of those emotions is NOT "love".
 grove_22
Joined: 1/30/2012
Msg: 72
Love at first sight
Posted: 6/8/2012 12:32:16 PM
Lust / physical attraction at first sight = Yes
Love at first sight = No

I would need to get to know the other person because I could fall in love with them.
 MyHandsHurt
Joined: 4/9/2012
Msg: 73
Love at first sight
Posted: 6/8/2012 12:41:32 PM
Yup....L-U-S-T.

It's fun and makes you feel like a human being. I miss it. But I really want love now.
 Texan_Gal
Joined: 10/22/2011
Msg: 74
Love at first sight
Posted: 6/8/2012 1:01:49 PM
I definitely don't believe in "love at first sight", but I finally had one of those crazy sensations somewhat recently. I met someone, and the second our eyes locked, it was like my heart had skipped a beat. Really weird "spark" people seem to talk about. I hadn't experienced it before, so it was pretty exhilarating. Love? No way.
 adora71
Joined: 2/8/2010
Msg: 75
Love at first sight
Posted: 6/8/2012 2:22:48 PM

most seem to equate love with combatability

I also find this to be an odd conundrum. Compatability is important, but aren't passion and commitment and communication more important?

My interests are so diverse and fluid, that I could not possibly expect someone to match them. Once in my life, I had two big dogs. At that time, if I were on POF, I would have put "dog walking" in my interests. Other interests I have had, or that I circle back to every few years, include gardening, playing guitar, writing, mountain biking, making jam (I kid you not), running, and the list could go on indefinitely. Why would I want to meet someone based on whatever my current hobby is? As long as he is open-minded and flexible and willing to try to explore some activities together...what does it matter? Maybe we could find a totally new hobby together.

However, I do think that compatability in terms of the big things needs to be addressed. Introverts versus extroverts, city lovers versus rural people, and certain lifestyle habits that you can't give up or abide by... I guess all that stuff is about compatability too.
 Gwendolyn2010
Joined: 1/22/2006
Msg: 76
Love at first sight
Posted: 6/8/2012 2:36:56 PM
Last year, I would have said, "No."

Four months ago, I would have said, "Yes."

Right now, I'm saying that you can't really love a person until the "love" has been tested and tried over a period of time. What seems like love might be infatuation, even at 59.
 AddHomonym
Joined: 12/26/2011
Msg: 77
Love at first sight
Posted: 6/8/2012 2:39:23 PM
^^^I couldn't imagine anything worse than dating myself. How utterly boring and uninspiring would it be to spend time with someone who shared all of your interests? Maybe I'm just too much of a megalomaniac to imagine that there is a woman out there just like me but if there was, I would probably hate her and suspect her of being a creepy stalker trying to co opt my stlye...lol I pride myself on not being like everyone else and I respect and admire that quality in women too.

As for "love" at first sight, the only problem with this issue is that the English language is severely lacking when we try to describe such things. Not many would try to argue that the love two people build together over time could equate to a spiritual or emotional experience like this. The point some are trying to get across is that this is way beyond lust or infatuation. It's something that is neither one nor the other but for lack of a better word, "love" works fine for many.
 purfectmeow
Joined: 4/17/2012
Msg: 78
Love at first sight
Posted: 6/8/2012 2:50:17 PM
I believe in lust/love at first sight, but Im a hopeless romantic flirty dreamer that adores men :)
There is a fine line between the two (lust/love); I have discovered that I can love people I dont know well.
 Maleman999
Joined: 2/14/2010
Msg: 79
Love at first sight
Posted: 6/8/2012 3:14:01 PM

I have discovered that I can love people I dont know well.


What happens when you get to know them better? Do you say "What a sh1thead!"

How many people had love at first sight with their former partner who is now an ex? How can people put so much faith in something that has a history of failing so often?
 nightowl2004
Joined: 1/18/2011
Msg: 80
Love at first sight
Posted: 6/8/2012 4:32:21 PM
igorfrank hit the nail on the head.
 barky bark
Joined: 8/31/2010
Msg: 81
Love at first sight
Posted: 6/8/2012 4:36:42 PM
I beg to differ. It was love a first site for me.
 purfectmeow
Joined: 4/17/2012
Msg: 82
Love at first sight
Posted: 6/8/2012 5:08:57 PM
^ Me too. Both my love at first sights passed away, and Im still ready for that again.
 AddHomonym
Joined: 12/26/2011
Msg: 83
Love at first sight
Posted: 6/8/2012 9:38:26 PM

How many people had love at first sight with their former partner who is now an ex? How can people put so much faith in something that has a history of failing so often?


Time to take a deep breath...ahhh.

How many couples who met at church and spent forty years together raising children and all the rest are now divorced? How many of them are saying "I don't even know who s/he is and I'm not sure I ever did"? It is completely ridiculous to say there can't be any "love" at first sight because not all relationships work out in the end. By that line of reasoning, there is no love at all, no faith, no service, no nothing.
 Confuzzled4ever
Joined: 6/9/2005
Msg: 84
Love at first sight
Posted: 6/8/2012 9:46:44 PM
I do! And I came so close to marrying him.. he got cold feet and broke it off.. :~(

I would have followed him forever. It's gone now, since he hurt me so bad back then.. but every so often.. i get an email from him.. which i ignore.
 larissan04
Joined: 8/11/2011
Msg: 85
Love at first sight
Posted: 6/8/2012 10:45:15 PM
yes, i believe it. i've seen it, and i have experienced it. it does happen, and for some reason, i think it is something soul-deep. it's more about looks, physical attraction, and it is not simply reduced to just having "chemistry." it's the sense that you know someone in and out it's really hard to explain, but i would compare it to bumping into a person that you really like but haven't seen for a long time....there you are...walking down the street...you have places to go and people to see...you are thinking about all the things you have to do...then you turn a corner, and BAM! right out of the blue, you bump into someone that you have never seen before...yet somewhere inside they seem somehow very familiar...and you feel an instant connection with this person...and you... almost think without thinking, "THERE you are..." as if this person you have never met is someone you've been looking for for a long time...

...then he slams her against the wall...and she reaches down to unzip the......oh never mind...LOL! loving someone is one thing, but maintaining, nurturing, and growing that love is a different matter altogether...sometimes true love doesn't last...and nothing will if you don't take care of it...
 adora71
Joined: 2/8/2010
Msg: 86
Love at first sight
Posted: 6/9/2012 1:49:43 AM
^^^^
Great post above. A work of art.

I agree with ad homynom on this:

It is completely ridiculous to say there can't be any "love" at first sight because not all relationships work out in the end. By that line of reasoning, there is no love at all, no faith, no service, no nothing.


I guess that magnetic pull that we sometimes feel is more about attraction than real love, but there is the fact that it is basically unstoppable... thus the phrase "falling in" when we experience it.
 WomanInProgress
Joined: 10/16/2005
Msg: 87
Love at first sight
Posted: 6/9/2012 10:50:37 AM

I have discovered that I can love people I dont know well.

That's interesting. I can't love someone I don't know well because some things I learn about them as I get to know them that stay consistent is what makes me love them. Therefore if I have no information, I can't logically do it. I have years ago become infatuated with who I thought someone was, and I have lusted over someone separate from who they were - but love takes a combination of a lot of information.
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