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Joined: 5/2/2011
Msg: 121
Love at first sightPage 5 of 13    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13)
Either is really good.
Joined: 12/13/2006
Msg: 123
Love at first sight
Posted: 7/31/2012 6:25:45 AM
Never was a believer in love at first sight. Nor soul mates. Still am not, but I AM here to tell you that sometimes *something* can happen that's not that easy to explain. . . . As for it being seeing someone who meets unconscious past programming, I'd really like to know *how*. . . . At forty one, having been raised in a pretty much all white, very Nordic, environment, I was teaching in China, walked into a party, and BAM!!, across the room, this tall, skinny, youngster. . . . World kinda stood still, tummy tumbled, knees buckled, and he began his journey across the room, parting the dancing couples as he came directly to me. We courted and married in a most hostile environment (at one point they threatened to banish him to Tibet), migrated to this country, and survived, mostly joyfully, till his mother came to live with us. . . . Five years after the divorce, he was in town, and wanted to have dinner. And when he walked in the door, I had EXACTLY the same reaction as I'd had the very first time.

Go figure.
Joined: 4/22/2012
Msg: 125
Love at first sight
Posted: 8/1/2012 6:49:03 PM
I put it in the same category as fairy tales, unicorns, the loch ness monster, Bigfoot and vampires (the real kind, not the ones on tv/movies) and "soul mates".
Joined: 9/5/2011
Msg: 126
Love at first sight
Posted: 8/1/2012 7:04:37 PM
Yes, I'm certain that it happens all the time.

What do you see when you turn out the lights?
I can't tell you, but I know it's mine

A powerful sense of "recognition" may trigger a sense of love at first sight. Can it lead to love? Sure, but probably not all the time.

I get by with a little help from my friends :)
Joined: 10/15/2009
Msg: 127
Love at first sight
Posted: 8/1/2012 10:58:14 PM
it is a temporry hormonla rection designed by nature to procreate v species, mistaking this chemical process 4 love etc is foolish n jeuvenile.
Joined: 9/28/2012
Msg: 128
Love at first sight
Posted: 10/13/2012 7:23:25 PM
It happened to me too, years ago. We were both at an event, and I felt someone watching me. I turned around, saw him there, and it was like the rest of the world vanished - for both of us. I just felt stunned, so did he, a feeling of almost recognition, though we had never met. I had never felt that before, or since. He was held up with his life obligations, and I was held up with mine, so we ended up being pulled different directions in life, but it was just an incredible experience.
Joined: 10/1/2012
Msg: 129
Love at first sight
Posted: 10/13/2012 9:55:44 PM
Even if it's a trite old saying that has been overused, that doesn't mean the opposite is true. You claim a benchmark for love at first sight to anyplace you chose, but you can't claim when or where it started.
My exex are still my friends and we care about each other, although there was much pain in each case all is forgiven.
We had 5 to 7 year good marriages that just lacked longevity. We were all fair to each other and still all keep in touch.
I have seen so many happy couples that followed all the rules and had long happy marriages that ended in bitter hatred.
The subject of when love starts or ends or whether it was selfish love as I would describe the angry bitter separated couple, compared to what I call real love where I want my exex to be happy and succeed no matter what, and they want that for me.
I could say I would die for my ex when we were married but also on then day I met her, even now. My romantic love changed to platonic but not hatred like so many broken marriages.
That's an odd hindsight way of looking at it but the possibilities are endless. Is a year of unrequited love less important than a week of passionate love that just vaporizes? We might just love a certain type because of something we saw on a movie once a long time ago. It's all chemistry that exists due to natural selection anyway.
I would guess that love on first sight has a good track record as well as bad just like any interpretation of love.
Joined: 11/12/2010
Msg: 130
Love at first sight
Posted: 10/14/2012 1:15:24 AM
I won't put a name to it...but twice...I have met someone...felt like I had always known it wasn't even a question of having sex the same day I met them..since we felt like we had always loved each other...felt like I knew everything about them (even though I didn't at the time). Remained with the first for 13 years until he died...the second I am still our 8th year.

I don't know about previous lives..or after life...but it sure feels like I have always known some people...
Joined: 3/30/2008
Msg: 131
Love at first sight
Posted: 10/14/2012 5:54:32 AM
Sure if your both attracted to each other.
anything is possible.i am a romantic myself
good luck!
Joined: 7/2/2012
Msg: 132
Love at first sight
Posted: 10/14/2012 6:34:41 AM
There are two levels of love...the love that you give and the love that you have.

You can make the choice to give love at first sight. Whatever the reason it doesn't matter the bottom line is this love is a choice and you can give it to anyone, at any time for any reason.

The love that you own though...that is different and something that develops over time. Also, it informs the love that you give better and better over time. This is deep emotional understanding and love.
Joined: 10/7/2012
Msg: 133
Love at first sight
Posted: 10/14/2012 3:20:15 PM
I'm a fairly logical and prudent person. I used to laugh at the notion that people could fall in love so quickly. Then love at first sight happened to me, and it lasted for several years. To this day, I'm shocked. It's completely changed my perspective.

In my case, it happened out of the blue at a time I was least expecting to meet somebody. He looked quite average and didn't say or do anything out of the ordinary. He also didn't remind me of anybody. I didn't know what he did for a living, how much he made, where he lived, his name, his age, or absolutely anything about him. He also didn't match the "type" of physical features I find most attractive in a man. But the feeling hit me like a truck- and him too, I'm assuming, as it didn't even take a week for him to tell me that "[he] would make [me] his wife someday". And no, we were not teenagers (early and mid 20s).

Will I ever feel that again? I don't know. A part of me thinks that I felt it because I was younger and more naive. A part of me wonders if I felt it because he was truly The One. I guess I'm open to the possibility it will happen again, but I'm not counting on it. And that's just fine with me.
Joined: 3/27/2012
Msg: 134
view profile
Love at first sight
Posted: 10/15/2012 1:22:33 AM
Because of people's definition of love being different from one to the next, love at first sight could mean something very different, depending on who you're talking about.

According to my definition, I'd say that there's almost no such thing. That would happen for me because of who someone is, versus what I see with my eyes, and I would have to know who they are, and I can't know who they are with just my eyes the first time I see them. And, it's a red flag for me if a woman seems to fall too fast too hard, before she seems to know definitive things about me...

...however, I said that there's ALMOST no such thing, because of course it does sometimes happen. You can in fact now and then intuit or extrapolate vital elements of a person's character or vibe by what you "observe" with your eyes the "first time" you see them...and sometimes these things happen to click with unusual compatibility, which is quite an experience and really is love at first sight which occasionally results in a genuine long term relationship.

And then you have the phenomena of smell. You sometimes hear how smell is so's why - when someone naturally smells SO good in an overwhelming unusual way (not just because you like the smell of the opposite gender) it's because your body/brain unconsciously knows that the other person is of a high genetic match. They go real well with your genes. And your body tells you that with a certain sense of smell. I've experienced this maybe twice in my life. It's strange. Her natural smell (unless it wasn't natural and I was being tricked) smelled "like home, life, nostalgia", and other words I can't think of at the moment. I'm sure that this might be a factor for some people in an experience of love at first sight.
Joined: 2/14/2010
Msg: 137
Love at first sight
Posted: 10/16/2012 9:47:24 AM
I've heard a few married women say: "I knew from the first second I saw him, he was going to be the guy I was going to marry." What happens if he doesn't feel the same way, or what happens if his personality is a turn off once you get to know him? I would be turned off by a woman if she made that declaration after one second.
Joined: 8/15/2012
Msg: 138
Love at first sight
Posted: 10/16/2012 12:22:24 PM
I personally see it that way, I think they're may be something that draws us to someone. It could be love,lust,familiarity.. anything. There are few but some people when I lock eyes with them I just half to have them. In which way.. I don't find out until I "dig" around more with them.
Joined: 11/20/2007
Msg: 139
Love at first sight
Posted: 10/16/2012 1:19:39 PM
I don't only believe in love at first sight, I think it is the only true love. I think "love" that comes over time isn't really love but more that you are used to having that person in your life.

Some say it is just lust, but for me that part came latter on.
Joined: 10/4/2012
Msg: 140
Love at first sight
Posted: 10/16/2012 1:30:22 PM
A bunch of crap--it does not exist. You don't even know the person. How can a complete stranger be 'the love of your life'? Sounds like a delusional state.
Joined: 10/1/2012
Msg: 141
Love at first sight
Posted: 10/16/2012 1:42:33 PM
Love is a feeling within one self. People can be in love with an image they have created on line for example. One can love some one for years then find out that person was lying and cheating all the time. Love is very subjective. To actually claim to know that it does not exist at first sight is a waist of time. We can't even define what it is but in a chemical way so we don't know when it starts.
Every love there ever was on earth had a starting point, some of those starting points where at first sight.

Regardless of how it starts we all know that love at last sight can be very ugly.
Joined: 2/14/2010
Msg: 143
Love at first sight
Posted: 10/18/2012 7:48:05 AM
If there was any such thing as love at first sight, that would mean a 300 or 400 pound person who dresses like a slob, missing their front teeth, and looked like they slept and live in the sewer would have just as much luck at finding instant love as a person who looks like a fashion magazine model. How many people who claim to believe in love at first sight, have found it with someone they are NOT physically attracted to?
Joined: 10/1/2012
Msg: 144
Love at first sight
Posted: 10/18/2012 10:11:12 AM
^^Why should anyone fall in love at any sight with what you have described? Love at first sight is reserved for those we are attracted to obviously.
Joined: 6/10/2012
Msg: 145
Love at first sight
Posted: 10/18/2012 10:15:50 AM
Women fall in love at first site, not men. We have to get to know someone first
Joined: 10/16/2005
Msg: 146
Love at first sight
Posted: 10/18/2012 10:31:21 AM
Not all women - some of us are immune to potholes. It usually takes me 6 months to two years if it's going to happen at all...but then again I don't see the big rush.

I don't believe in LAFS though - I believe it seems that way after the fact when you look back and it's a huge blur - but in the beginning it's more lust, chemistry, oxytocin, a desire to know more beyond a strong physical attraction.

To me the very nature of love is the fact that it has to grow and develop to exist.
Joined: 5/2/2011
Msg: 147
Love at first sight
Posted: 10/19/2012 11:12:39 AM
Yeah I'd like to think that I'm a very logical and rational person....but when it comes to love at first site.....I'm a believer.

I'm not overly religous or even spiritual for that matter but I do believe that "something" happens that you just can't explain it.

Think of it from the opposite perspective....have you ever had "dislike" at first site? Did you stick around and explore that dislike for several months before confirming your initial feeling. No of course not. If you dislike someone on the first date/first site then why even bother with a second date right?

Well if that experience is true then I have to believe that the opposite is also true, you can be immediately smitten by someone. I think love comes in lots of different iterations.

Probably the Greeks have/had it best because they use like 4-5 different words to describe different types of love:

Agape-In Ancient Greek, it often refers to a general affection or deeper sense of "true love" rather than the attraction suggested by "eros".

Eros Passionate love, with sensual desire and longing

Philia-Friendship or affectionate love

Storge Natural affection, like that felt by parents for offspring
Joined: 10/16/2005
Msg: 148
Love at first sight
Posted: 10/19/2012 11:55:41 AM

Think of it from the opposite perspective....have you ever had "dislike" at first site? Did you stick around and explore that dislike for several months before confirming your initial feeling. No of course not. If you dislike someone on the first date/first site then why even bother with a second date right?

Well if that experience is true then I have to believe that the opposite is also true

The opposite would be "like" at first sight - which I agree with; "like" at first sight is totally possible and happens to most of us at some point. Love (outside of using the word like you would to describe a good pizza) doesn't apply to that description. It's too strong and needs more time, like the word "hate" would, which is also not really appropriate.
Joined: 9/19/2012
Msg: 149
Love at first sight
Posted: 10/19/2012 6:25:57 PM
I believe in love at first sight but only because it happened to me. If it had not happened to me I suppose I would be a non-believer.

The moment I laided eyes on my late wife I was done fer. Told my buddy (and future best man) on the way home from that party, I had found the woman I was going to marry and spend the rest of my life with. Lucky for me she felt the same way! Unfortunately, it was for only the rest of her life. 3 kids and 30 years.

What did I love about her since I had not even met her yet? The way she made my heart swell. The way she made me unaware of anything else in the room. The way she made me feel as if I had found a part of me that was missing.

Yeah, I believe. In fact, not only do I believe, I hope it happens again!
Joined: 11/12/2009
Msg: 150
Love at first sight
Posted: 10/20/2012 4:09:29 PM
I am now a believer that love at first sight does exist. Whether it's reciprocated from the person you experience it with is an entirely different story.
Reason I now know is because of my last relationship with the girl I met off here. For whatever reason, by the end of our 1st date and definately by our 2nd date. I had found myself dreaming of futures together, thinking about her all the time, missing her the minute she was gone and wanting her back as soon as possible.
I am a romantic and very affectionate but this was a behavior that I had NOT had with any previous relationships nor as quickly. It wasn't "lust" because to be quite honest she wasn't the most attractive girl (probably the least attractive) I've dated, the physical part of the relationship wasn't "fireworks" either. Just for whatever reason it was her heart and personality that drew me to her and made me the way I was around her. So, naturally when I started experiencing being "in-love" with her by the 2nd date then she was the most beautiful and best to me.
Yes, I did the no-no of telling her on the 2nd date that I loved her. Also, said that I didn't want her saying it back unless she felt the same. I was only expressing my feelings. I did this because I feel that the person you're seeing should have a right to know where you stand in a relationship or possible relationship and have the right to make their own decisions to leave or stay and take it further. Too, not to be melodramatic but you never know if that time you're together is the last time you ever see each other.
Only reason I had continued to act ways of being in love was her saying it back to me and being under the belief that her feelings were the same. She often started and carried on conversations of "our future" together making me believe she was feeling the same as well.
Unfortunately, she used my feelings of being "in-love" against me. Using the ways I was acting to shift blame to get out of the relationship. Later admitting that she NEVER loved me and was only saying it because I said it first. So, she used being "possessive" tendencies to break up. Shifting the blame, of course, to make it look like all my fault.
After she did this, I became very confused. It made me go back and research possessive behaviors, controlling behaviors, partners using you (in her case), and being in-love behaviors.
I did this because in NONE of my previous relationships had any of my girlfriends ever accused me of being possessive. In fact, it was exact opposite. Always confident (0ver-confident mostly lol) and supportive of their independence and dreams, goals, etc. Which is exactly how I was being with this last girl I was seeing as well.
Below is what I found on behaviors of being in-love:

After reading everything from possessiveness, controlling behaviors and love. I was definately in-love with her. No doubt!
Sadly, it was only one-sided. You may not be able to control or choose who it is, that you one day or sometime in your life find love-at-first-sight. But I do believe it exists because I experienced it, even though it wasn't received back.
Hopefully one day you will too! If you do. I hope she/he loves you back the same way!

- Chris
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