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 bcsofnc57
Joined: 11/20/2007
Msg: 139
Love at first sightPage 6 of 13    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13)
I don't only believe in love at first sight, I think it is the only true love. I think "love" that comes over time isn't really love but more that you are used to having that person in your life.

Some say it is just lust, but for me that part came latter on.
 circle-circle
Joined: 10/4/2012
Msg: 140
Love at first sight
Posted: 10/16/2012 1:30:22 PM
A bunch of crap--it does not exist. You don't even know the person. How can a complete stranger be 'the love of your life'? Sounds like a delusional state.
 YourBrandNewGuy
Joined: 10/1/2012
Msg: 141
Love at first sight
Posted: 10/16/2012 1:42:33 PM
Love is a feeling within one self. People can be in love with an image they have created on line for example. One can love some one for years then find out that person was lying and cheating all the time. Love is very subjective. To actually claim to know that it does not exist at first sight is a waist of time. We can't even define what it is but in a chemical way so we don't know when it starts.
Every love there ever was on earth had a starting point, some of those starting points where at first sight.

Regardless of how it starts we all know that love at last sight can be very ugly.
 Maleman999
Joined: 2/14/2010
Msg: 143
Love at first sight
Posted: 10/18/2012 7:48:05 AM
If there was any such thing as love at first sight, that would mean a 300 or 400 pound person who dresses like a slob, missing their front teeth, and looked like they slept and live in the sewer would have just as much luck at finding instant love as a person who looks like a fashion magazine model. How many people who claim to believe in love at first sight, have found it with someone they are NOT physically attracted to?
 YourBrandNewGuy
Joined: 10/1/2012
Msg: 144
Love at first sight
Posted: 10/18/2012 10:11:12 AM
^^Why should anyone fall in love at any sight with what you have described? Love at first sight is reserved for those we are attracted to obviously.
 CaptainA.D
Joined: 6/10/2012
Msg: 145
Love at first sight
Posted: 10/18/2012 10:15:50 AM
Women fall in love at first site, not men. We have to get to know someone first
 WomanInProgress
Joined: 10/16/2005
Msg: 146
Love at first sight
Posted: 10/18/2012 10:31:21 AM
Not all women - some of us are immune to potholes. It usually takes me 6 months to two years if it's going to happen at all...but then again I don't see the big rush.

I don't believe in LAFS though - I believe it seems that way after the fact when you look back and it's a huge blur - but in the beginning it's more lust, chemistry, oxytocin, a desire to know more beyond a strong physical attraction.

To me the very nature of love is the fact that it has to grow and develop to exist.
 Tryns
Joined: 5/2/2011
Msg: 147
Love at first sight
Posted: 10/19/2012 11:12:39 AM
Yeah I'd like to think that I'm a very logical and rational person....but when it comes to love at first site.....I'm a believer.

I'm not overly religous or even spiritual for that matter but I do believe that "something" happens that you just can't explain it.

Think of it from the opposite perspective....have you ever had "dislike" at first site? Did you stick around and explore that dislike for several months before confirming your initial feeling. No of course not. If you dislike someone on the first date/first site then why even bother with a second date right?

Well if that experience is true then I have to believe that the opposite is also true, you can be immediately smitten by someone. I think love comes in lots of different iterations.

Probably the Greeks have/had it best because they use like 4-5 different words to describe different types of love:

Agape-In Ancient Greek, it often refers to a general affection or deeper sense of "true love" rather than the attraction suggested by "eros".

Eros Passionate love, with sensual desire and longing

Philia-Friendship or affectionate love

Storge Natural affection, like that felt by parents for offspring
 WomanInProgress
Joined: 10/16/2005
Msg: 148
Love at first sight
Posted: 10/19/2012 11:55:41 AM

Think of it from the opposite perspective....have you ever had "dislike" at first site? Did you stick around and explore that dislike for several months before confirming your initial feeling. No of course not. If you dislike someone on the first date/first site then why even bother with a second date right?

Well if that experience is true then I have to believe that the opposite is also true

The opposite would be "like" at first sight - which I agree with; "like" at first sight is totally possible and happens to most of us at some point. Love (outside of using the word like you would to describe a good pizza) doesn't apply to that description. It's too strong and needs more time, like the word "hate" would, which is also not really appropriate.
 CentralValleyGuy
Joined: 9/19/2012
Msg: 149
Love at first sight
Posted: 10/19/2012 6:25:57 PM
I believe in love at first sight but only because it happened to me. If it had not happened to me I suppose I would be a non-believer.

The moment I laided eyes on my late wife I was done fer. Told my buddy (and future best man) on the way home from that party, I had found the woman I was going to marry and spend the rest of my life with. Lucky for me she felt the same way! Unfortunately, it was for only the rest of her life. 3 kids and 30 years.

What did I love about her since I had not even met her yet? The way she made my heart swell. The way she made me unaware of anything else in the room. The way she made me feel as if I had found a part of me that was missing.

Yeah, I believe. In fact, not only do I believe, I hope it happens again!
 Christopher972
Joined: 11/12/2009
Msg: 150
Love at first sight
Posted: 10/20/2012 4:09:29 PM
I am now a believer that love at first sight does exist. Whether it's reciprocated from the person you experience it with is an entirely different story.
Reason I now know is because of my last relationship with the girl I met off here. For whatever reason, by the end of our 1st date and definately by our 2nd date. I had found myself dreaming of futures together, thinking about her all the time, missing her the minute she was gone and wanting her back as soon as possible.
I am a romantic and very affectionate but this was a behavior that I had NOT had with any previous relationships nor as quickly. It wasn't "lust" because to be quite honest she wasn't the most attractive girl (probably the least attractive) I've dated, the physical part of the relationship wasn't "fireworks" either. Just for whatever reason it was her heart and personality that drew me to her and made me the way I was around her. So, naturally when I started experiencing being "in-love" with her by the 2nd date then she was the most beautiful and best to me.
Yes, I did the no-no of telling her on the 2nd date that I loved her. Also, said that I didn't want her saying it back unless she felt the same. I was only expressing my feelings. I did this because I feel that the person you're seeing should have a right to know where you stand in a relationship or possible relationship and have the right to make their own decisions to leave or stay and take it further. Too, not to be melodramatic but you never know if that time you're together is the last time you ever see each other.
Only reason I had continued to act ways of being in love was her saying it back to me and being under the belief that her feelings were the same. She often started and carried on conversations of "our future" together making me believe she was feeling the same as well.
Unfortunately, she used my feelings of being "in-love" against me. Using the ways I was acting to shift blame to get out of the relationship. Later admitting that she NEVER loved me and was only saying it because I said it first. So, she used being "possessive" tendencies to break up. Shifting the blame, of course, to make it look like all my fault.
After she did this, I became very confused. It made me go back and research possessive behaviors, controlling behaviors, partners using you (in her case), and being in-love behaviors.
I did this because in NONE of my previous relationships had any of my girlfriends ever accused me of being possessive. In fact, it was exact opposite. Always confident (0ver-confident mostly lol) and supportive of their independence and dreams, goals, etc. Which is exactly how I was being with this last girl I was seeing as well.
Below is what I found on behaviors of being in-love:

http://www.lifeslittlemysteries.com/2157-13-scientifically-proven-signs-love.html

http://www.buzzle.com/articles/signs-of-being-in-love.html

After reading everything from possessiveness, controlling behaviors and love. I was definately in-love with her. No doubt!
Sadly, it was only one-sided. You may not be able to control or choose who it is, that you one day or sometime in your life find love-at-first-sight. But I do believe it exists because I experienced it, even though it wasn't received back.
Hopefully one day you will too! If you do. I hope she/he loves you back the same way!

- Chris
 SaharaM
Joined: 4/9/2009
Msg: 151
view profile
History
Love at first sight
Posted: 10/20/2012 4:34:34 PM
^^ What a classy choice to lay out something like that on a site where the other person could clearly read it.
 Christopher972
Joined: 11/12/2009
Msg: 152
Love at first sight
Posted: 10/20/2012 5:25:23 PM
For the other person to read it would mean they have to come to the forums. Which her username doesn't appear anywhere on any forums, plus she never expressed any interest in being bored or curious enough to read the forums in the first place.
Today, I happen to be so bored and while browsing the forums, for the first time in 3 years. Came across the title and found it interesting to give my opinion on "Love At First Sight" and so did.
Also, my post was NOT for "her" to come here to read it. We've had no contact with each other in over 2 months. The last contact before that she was already "hanging out" with someone. I don't want someone back that doesn't want me in the first place.
What the post can do for someone that reads it AND experiencing the same thing. Well, they can try to discern now if they're feelings are really love or something else that they need to work on and perhaps improve in future relationships.

- Chris
 thepigofyourdreams
Joined: 2/23/2012
Msg: 153
Love at first sight
Posted: 10/20/2012 5:42:56 PM

Not all women - some of us are immune to potholes. It usually takes me 6 months to two years if it's going to happen at all...but then again I don't see the big rush.

I don't believe in LAFS though - I believe it seems that way after the fact when you look back and it's a huge blur - but in the beginning it's more lust, chemistry, oxytocin, a desire to know more beyond a strong physical attraction.

To me the very nature of love is the fact that it has to grow and develop to exist.


Finally. Someone who gets it.

I wonder how many people would believe in "love at first sight" if they had never been conditioned to believe it exists.

p.s. - That costume. Damn. Perfect. Just perfect.
 yourgreatgirl
Joined: 10/12/2012
Msg: 154
Love at first sight
Posted: 10/22/2012 9:15:09 AM
I don't believe that
 kemetlady
Joined: 9/25/2012
Msg: 155
Love at first sight
Posted: 10/22/2012 1:21:08 PM
Most people think of love in tangible terms; he did this for me, or she did that, which they can then internalize as meaning they care for me and love me or I love them. But love can also be intangible.
Love can simply be a spiritual connection between two people. As the old poem goes, “people come into your life for a reason, a season, or a lifetime.” And when they come, they usually come to show you something about yourself.
Love at first sight does exist. I know because I have experienced it personally. You see someone that you connect with instantly and your whole world looks different. It is real. The problem is that if you don’t understand it, you don’t quite know what to do about it.
Most likely you do the wrong things, which is to fall all over them. This makes you appear too eager, too anxious, and needy.
The experience of feeling pure unconditional love for someone is so great that you can’t help but yearn to have them in your life. But because of their own learned defense mechanisms, they might become leary of your intentions and run away.
If they choose not to stay, the lesson or reason for them coming might just be to teach you how to let go. Know that their path might be different than yours and release them to complete their own journey. All you can do is be happy they came, and love them for what they meant to you.
 onewayoranuther
Joined: 3/21/2011
Msg: 156
Love at first sight
Posted: 10/22/2012 2:43:03 PM
I believe in like at first sight..the energy that comes from that immediate chemestry. Yes, there is such thing as lust at first sight as well but that is fleeting after the touch.

Many words have been written on men who meet women and say to themselves "I am going to marry her" my brother for one. She walked in to where he worked and he knew it instantly...twelve years later they are still growing strong with 3 kids under their belt.

the trick is...for it to be felt both ways.
 jersey7-7
Joined: 9/2/2012
Msg: 159
Love at first sight
Posted: 10/23/2012 4:19:38 AM
I believe in love at first site. It happened to me, it wasnt just the first apperance of a very good looking,tall green eyed hunk of a man standing in my sons kitchen, it was the voice i heard from upstairs and the way our eyes meet when i was coming down the stairs, it the way he carried himself, strong and confident..oh and the kiss on the back of my hand when we were introduced was a plus!!! theres more to love then meets the eye...and 12 years later my herat still skips a beat when i see him across the room...to bad hs gambling was more important :(
 grove_22
Joined: 1/30/2012
Msg: 160
Love at first sight
Posted: 10/23/2012 6:59:34 AM
I believe in physical attraction / lust at first sight. But not love. I would need to spend some time getting to know the person before I could fall in love with them.
 Affinity46
Joined: 10/19/2012
Msg: 161
Love at first sight
Posted: 10/23/2012 2:27:05 PM
It is funny how you mentioned writing a book. Think about when you walk into a book store and you gaze at a
book cover that looks like it should be an awesome read. You purchase it, get it home and sit for hours reading something that turns out to be the most boring nonsensical book of bull you've ever read. You fell in love with the cover of the book without reading the inside. Now that you know the book stinks, you are ready to pass it along or toss it out. You might have passed up some books on the shelf at the store that cover wasn't that eye-catching and it turned out to be a major New York Times best seller. I think it is the same thing with love at first sight.. it just doesn't exist until you actually indulge in a persons spirit.
 BLONDE_ANGEL845
Joined: 6/30/2012
Msg: 162
Love at first sight
Posted: 10/23/2012 2:29:33 PM
If you look at someone & feel like u fell or r falling, but don't scope out a date or relationship due to fear, insecurity, etc. then u never get to find out, do u?
Or maybe they just liked looking, but not doing al the necessary work to take it somewhere...

"I personally believe that, at times, we do tend to pickup some sort of vibe... but is it love? Or is it something about the individual that has triggered something in our past"
I recently had this happen- I had unfinished business from 2001...it finally got resolved in a parallel situation. I am at peace- him, not so much ;0P And you know what? I don't care! I worked on fixing me!

 Affinity46
Joined: 10/19/2012
Msg: 163
Love at first sight
Posted: 10/23/2012 2:33:46 PM
"I personally believe that, at times, we do tend to pickup some sort of vibe... but is it love? Or is it something about the individual that has triggered something in our past"


This is something I have written a book about and is an entirely different matter.



It is funny how you mentioned writing a book. Think about when you walk into a book store and you gaze at a
book cover that looks like it should be an awesome read. You purchase it, get it home and sit for hours reading something that turns out to be the most boring nonsensical book of bull you've ever read. You fell in love with the cover of the book without reading the inside. Now that you know the book stinks, you are ready to pass it along or toss it out. You might have passed up some books on the shelf at the store that cover wasn't that eye-catching and it turned out to be a major New York Times best seller. I think it is the same thing with love at first sight.. it just doesn't exist until you actually indulge into a persons spirit.
 YourBrandNewGuy
Joined: 10/1/2012
Msg: 164
Love at first sight
Posted: 10/26/2012 6:32:48 PM
Why so hard to believe I LAFS? We all get mail and know by a pic no way at first sight. We know what it's like to see the person in real life at the first meet and defiantly know it's a no. So we're not saying it doesn't exist at 2ed sight because it sure can on 3ed if you know the 3 date rule. No one can explain when it hit's or what it really is.

There is very little logic involved in deep attraction, in fact it becomes illogical often as we build dream worlds in our minds. There should be logic used in who you are with, and how it will affect your life, but when talking about LAFS we are talking about pure emotion.

We can keep arguing that we don't know the person well enough but some don't know their partner to well after many years or decades have gone by. Some would give their lives for a LAFS person they just met.

We don't look at profiles thinking about finding someone to help out, because they look a bit haggard and are strung out. we look for what we want. Maybe LAFS is purely selfish but so what. You can discus love from chemistry, genetic attraction, evolution , spiritual but no mater what it will remain subjective, because it's an emotion. For that very reason a form of love called "love at first sight" will always exist. MLINYLBYLIOK (My love is not your love but your love is OK)
 Maleman999
Joined: 2/14/2010
Msg: 165
Love at first sight
Posted: 10/26/2012 7:17:54 PM
For those that claim to find love at first sight: Does that mean you believe you found your soul mate-the one person on the planet you were meant to be with forever just by a chance meeting? Considering there are over 7 billion people on the planet, the odds of being in the right place at the right time to meet your one soul mate made for you is greater than winning the lottery. What happens if the other person doesn't feel the same way that you do?

I don't believe that there is only one person on the entire planet that would make a good partner for each member of the human race. Otherwise, only a handful of people on earth would get married after a chance meeting of meeting their one "true" soul mate on the planet. Most people end up marrying people in their local community because it's more convenient to marry someone local. With that being said, it would stand to reason that Love at First Sight can happen more than once. A week or month or year after meeting Mr./Miss Perfect, you could end up locking eyes with another person and get the same LAFS giddies. This can happen a number of times.
 YourBrandNewGuy
Joined: 10/1/2012
Msg: 166
Love at first sight
Posted: 10/26/2012 8:24:50 PM

For those that claim to find love at first sight: Does that mean you believe you found your soul mate-the one person on the planet you were meant to be with forever just by a chance meeting? Considering there are over 7 billion people on the planet, the odds of being in the right place at the right time to meet your one soul mate made for you is greater than winning the lottery. What happens if the other person doesn't feel the same way that you do?


Since I believe it exists I will assure you that the soul mate concept you explained is a fairy tale.
There are tons of soul mates for everyone. I don't see any connection with LAFS and soul mates.
Love is a chemical reaction like a drug you make in your brain. It's based on perception not reality.
What ever it is though, it can occur on first, second or tenth sight it can quickly turn to hate on last sight. lol

Love is just random attraction based on things we can hardly control. Most people fall in love with co workers or piers of some kind because it's always lurking, a part of nature.

The soul mate term only works as an analogy of finding someone that like the same music.
The way some people use it to mean that one and only spiritual connection are delusional and or desperate and looking for an excuse for waiting so long. That does not mean that I myself am not only going to settle for deep passionate love, just for real reasons. I've had both and real is better and a few soul mates taught me that.
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