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 Christopher972
Joined: 11/12/2009
Msg: 152
Love at first sightPage 6 of 13    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13)
For the other person to read it would mean they have to come to the forums. Which her username doesn't appear anywhere on any forums, plus she never expressed any interest in being bored or curious enough to read the forums in the first place.
Today, I happen to be so bored and while browsing the forums, for the first time in 3 years. Came across the title and found it interesting to give my opinion on "Love At First Sight" and so did.
Also, my post was NOT for "her" to come here to read it. We've had no contact with each other in over 2 months. The last contact before that she was already "hanging out" with someone. I don't want someone back that doesn't want me in the first place.
What the post can do for someone that reads it AND experiencing the same thing. Well, they can try to discern now if they're feelings are really love or something else that they need to work on and perhaps improve in future relationships.

- Chris
 thepigofyourdreams
Joined: 2/23/2012
Msg: 153
Love at first sight
Posted: 10/20/2012 5:42:56 PM

Not all women - some of us are immune to potholes. It usually takes me 6 months to two years if it's going to happen at all...but then again I don't see the big rush.

I don't believe in LAFS though - I believe it seems that way after the fact when you look back and it's a huge blur - but in the beginning it's more lust, chemistry, oxytocin, a desire to know more beyond a strong physical attraction.

To me the very nature of love is the fact that it has to grow and develop to exist.


Finally. Someone who gets it.

I wonder how many people would believe in "love at first sight" if they had never been conditioned to believe it exists.

p.s. - That costume. Damn. Perfect. Just perfect.
 yourgreatgirl
Joined: 10/12/2012
Msg: 154
Love at first sight
Posted: 10/22/2012 9:15:09 AM
I don't believe that
 kemetlady
Joined: 9/25/2012
Msg: 155
Love at first sight
Posted: 10/22/2012 1:21:08 PM
Most people think of love in tangible terms; he did this for me, or she did that, which they can then internalize as meaning they care for me and love me or I love them. But love can also be intangible.
Love can simply be a spiritual connection between two people. As the old poem goes, “people come into your life for a reason, a season, or a lifetime.” And when they come, they usually come to show you something about yourself.
Love at first sight does exist. I know because I have experienced it personally. You see someone that you connect with instantly and your whole world looks different. It is real. The problem is that if you don’t understand it, you don’t quite know what to do about it.
Most likely you do the wrong things, which is to fall all over them. This makes you appear too eager, too anxious, and needy.
The experience of feeling pure unconditional love for someone is so great that you can’t help but yearn to have them in your life. But because of their own learned defense mechanisms, they might become leary of your intentions and run away.
If they choose not to stay, the lesson or reason for them coming might just be to teach you how to let go. Know that their path might be different than yours and release them to complete their own journey. All you can do is be happy they came, and love them for what they meant to you.
 onewayoranuther
Joined: 3/21/2011
Msg: 156
Love at first sight
Posted: 10/22/2012 2:43:03 PM
I believe in like at first sight..the energy that comes from that immediate chemestry. Yes, there is such thing as lust at first sight as well but that is fleeting after the touch.

Many words have been written on men who meet women and say to themselves "I am going to marry her" my brother for one. She walked in to where he worked and he knew it instantly...twelve years later they are still growing strong with 3 kids under their belt.

the trick is...for it to be felt both ways.
 jersey7-7
Joined: 9/2/2012
Msg: 159
Love at first sight
Posted: 10/23/2012 4:19:38 AM
I believe in love at first site. It happened to me, it wasnt just the first apperance of a very good looking,tall green eyed hunk of a man standing in my sons kitchen, it was the voice i heard from upstairs and the way our eyes meet when i was coming down the stairs, it the way he carried himself, strong and confident..oh and the kiss on the back of my hand when we were introduced was a plus!!! theres more to love then meets the eye...and 12 years later my herat still skips a beat when i see him across the room...to bad hs gambling was more important :(
 grove_22
Joined: 1/30/2012
Msg: 160
Love at first sight
Posted: 10/23/2012 6:59:34 AM
I believe in physical attraction / lust at first sight. But not love. I would need to spend some time getting to know the person before I could fall in love with them.
 Affinity46
Joined: 10/19/2012
Msg: 161
Love at first sight
Posted: 10/23/2012 2:27:05 PM
It is funny how you mentioned writing a book. Think about when you walk into a book store and you gaze at a
book cover that looks like it should be an awesome read. You purchase it, get it home and sit for hours reading something that turns out to be the most boring nonsensical book of bull you've ever read. You fell in love with the cover of the book without reading the inside. Now that you know the book stinks, you are ready to pass it along or toss it out. You might have passed up some books on the shelf at the store that cover wasn't that eye-catching and it turned out to be a major New York Times best seller. I think it is the same thing with love at first sight.. it just doesn't exist until you actually indulge in a persons spirit.
 BLONDE_ANGEL845
Joined: 6/30/2012
Msg: 162
Love at first sight
Posted: 10/23/2012 2:29:33 PM
If you look at someone & feel like u fell or r falling, but don't scope out a date or relationship due to fear, insecurity, etc. then u never get to find out, do u?
Or maybe they just liked looking, but not doing al the necessary work to take it somewhere...

"I personally believe that, at times, we do tend to pickup some sort of vibe... but is it love? Or is it something about the individual that has triggered something in our past"
I recently had this happen- I had unfinished business from 2001...it finally got resolved in a parallel situation. I am at peace- him, not so much ;0P And you know what? I don't care! I worked on fixing me!

 Affinity46
Joined: 10/19/2012
Msg: 163
Love at first sight
Posted: 10/23/2012 2:33:46 PM
"I personally believe that, at times, we do tend to pickup some sort of vibe... but is it love? Or is it something about the individual that has triggered something in our past"


This is something I have written a book about and is an entirely different matter.



It is funny how you mentioned writing a book. Think about when you walk into a book store and you gaze at a
book cover that looks like it should be an awesome read. You purchase it, get it home and sit for hours reading something that turns out to be the most boring nonsensical book of bull you've ever read. You fell in love with the cover of the book without reading the inside. Now that you know the book stinks, you are ready to pass it along or toss it out. You might have passed up some books on the shelf at the store that cover wasn't that eye-catching and it turned out to be a major New York Times best seller. I think it is the same thing with love at first sight.. it just doesn't exist until you actually indulge into a persons spirit.
 YourBrandNewGuy
Joined: 10/1/2012
Msg: 164
Love at first sight
Posted: 10/26/2012 6:32:48 PM
Why so hard to believe I LAFS? We all get mail and know by a pic no way at first sight. We know what it's like to see the person in real life at the first meet and defiantly know it's a no. So we're not saying it doesn't exist at 2ed sight because it sure can on 3ed if you know the 3 date rule. No one can explain when it hit's or what it really is.

There is very little logic involved in deep attraction, in fact it becomes illogical often as we build dream worlds in our minds. There should be logic used in who you are with, and how it will affect your life, but when talking about LAFS we are talking about pure emotion.

We can keep arguing that we don't know the person well enough but some don't know their partner to well after many years or decades have gone by. Some would give their lives for a LAFS person they just met.

We don't look at profiles thinking about finding someone to help out, because they look a bit haggard and are strung out. we look for what we want. Maybe LAFS is purely selfish but so what. You can discus love from chemistry, genetic attraction, evolution , spiritual but no mater what it will remain subjective, because it's an emotion. For that very reason a form of love called "love at first sight" will always exist. MLINYLBYLIOK (My love is not your love but your love is OK)
 Maleman999
Joined: 2/14/2010
Msg: 165
Love at first sight
Posted: 10/26/2012 7:17:54 PM
For those that claim to find love at first sight: Does that mean you believe you found your soul mate-the one person on the planet you were meant to be with forever just by a chance meeting? Considering there are over 7 billion people on the planet, the odds of being in the right place at the right time to meet your one soul mate made for you is greater than winning the lottery. What happens if the other person doesn't feel the same way that you do?

I don't believe that there is only one person on the entire planet that would make a good partner for each member of the human race. Otherwise, only a handful of people on earth would get married after a chance meeting of meeting their one "true" soul mate on the planet. Most people end up marrying people in their local community because it's more convenient to marry someone local. With that being said, it would stand to reason that Love at First Sight can happen more than once. A week or month or year after meeting Mr./Miss Perfect, you could end up locking eyes with another person and get the same LAFS giddies. This can happen a number of times.
 YourBrandNewGuy
Joined: 10/1/2012
Msg: 166
Love at first sight
Posted: 10/26/2012 8:24:50 PM

For those that claim to find love at first sight: Does that mean you believe you found your soul mate-the one person on the planet you were meant to be with forever just by a chance meeting? Considering there are over 7 billion people on the planet, the odds of being in the right place at the right time to meet your one soul mate made for you is greater than winning the lottery. What happens if the other person doesn't feel the same way that you do?


Since I believe it exists I will assure you that the soul mate concept you explained is a fairy tale.
There are tons of soul mates for everyone. I don't see any connection with LAFS and soul mates.
Love is a chemical reaction like a drug you make in your brain. It's based on perception not reality.
What ever it is though, it can occur on first, second or tenth sight it can quickly turn to hate on last sight. lol

Love is just random attraction based on things we can hardly control. Most people fall in love with co workers or piers of some kind because it's always lurking, a part of nature.

The soul mate term only works as an analogy of finding someone that like the same music.
The way some people use it to mean that one and only spiritual connection are delusional and or desperate and looking for an excuse for waiting so long. That does not mean that I myself am not only going to settle for deep passionate love, just for real reasons. I've had both and real is better and a few soul mates taught me that.
 WomanInProgress
Joined: 10/16/2005
Msg: 167
Love at first sight
Posted: 10/27/2012 3:42:29 PM

There is very little logic involved in deep attraction, in fact it becomes illogical often as we build dream worlds in our minds.

Huh? I don't get the dream worlds bit, but I do understand that attraction exists, and while it may become deep once we learn more about the person, in the beginning it's pretty much a mixture of lust and chemical reaction. That doesn't mean it can't be packaged with interest in who they are as we get to know them.

There should be logic used in who you are with, and how it will affect your life, but when talking about LAFS we are talking about pure emotion.

I can't be emotional about someone I just met, and it's true, I tend to be less emotional than most even once I'm involved. Generally, to me lust is an emotion to some degree - and in hindsight once you are with someone long enough, the progression of meeting to involvement can totally be seen as love that happened immediately, so I can understand people being confused about it. If it doesn't become anything it's a lot clearer that it was more of an attraction than anything when you first met.
 VenusandAdonis
Joined: 8/24/2012
Msg: 168
We've all heard the cliche, but do you believe?
Posted: 10/28/2012 3:17:42 PM
I believe..some people don't want to acknowledge this, or pass it off as something else..
If we don't over analyse it, and just let it be, chances are it'll happen into just that~love
 YourBrandNewGuy
Joined: 10/1/2012
Msg: 169
Love at first sight
Posted: 10/28/2012 4:31:35 PM
womaninprogress Then dream world I'm referring to is what some call "building castles in the air" it's a false perception we make up because we want it to be so. I don't disagree with you about getting to know someone, I'm just talking about that crazy thing called "LAFS".

You say you can't emotional about someone you first met. Emotion rises up with out effort. I can be emotional about a character in a movie, a cute dog, a stranger that is hurting.


If it doesn't become anything it's a lot clearer that it was more of an attraction than anything when you first met.

Mostly that might be true but what if it doesn't become anything because one of the people didn't want it to, then it could still be real for the one that would have gone on forever.
 Valerie_Valor
Joined: 1/16/2012
Msg: 170
Love at first sight
Posted: 10/30/2012 1:12:55 PM
Yes...I definitely do believe in love at first sight. What this means to me is that you've just met someone who is an amazing and wonderful person for you that you can or will develop true love with in its entirety. Since you just met them though and don't really know them....your spirit is in tune with everything and gives you that love at first sight vibe and feeling and the actions that follow that. You are in love at first sight because love knows no time. It always was, is, and will be with this person...even if you part ways because of death or anything else. This is a no limitations love.

Most occurences of love are a limitations love. A love that develops over a time period that varies from person to person. Sometimes this love dies or doesn't die and progresses or doesn't die but changes form (romantic to just friendship).

I base my belief in love at first sight from my own real life experiences. Namely...a man I was engaged to 5 years ago. It was love at first sight mutually. He died. I still love him to this very day just as much as I did 5 years ago. We were very attracted to each other, but we always has a mutual respect for each other and a mutual liking for each other from second one we started talking and that never changed throughout time. We accepted each other's flaws and loved each other deeply as if there were no flaws. We were both realists. We also knew that there are things...extraordinary things that happen every once in a great while in life. We knew this was one of those things and we were definitely smart enough to not let it pass us by. If I had not believed...I would have missed out on the most amazing man I have met to this day and he would have died at an early age of 26 without ever having experienced that.

I don't believe love at first sight happens to everybody. I also believe that love at first sight does happen to some people and they just don't believe it and they question it too much and they don't enjoy life for what it is....the present moment...because nothing else is ever guaranteed. My advice is if you are one of the few lucky people who love at first sight happens to....Just enjoy it for what it is. It may last a day....it may last forever. You just never know. Keep an open mind and an open heart always. Think intelligently....but don't get so wrapped up in your own mind that you don't believe in anything spectacular anymore....or believe that it couldn't happen to you. You are what you believe.~
 natgoat227
Joined: 6/10/2012
Msg: 172
view profile
History
Love at first sight
Posted: 1/17/2013 8:24:42 AM
When I first signed-up, here....I found some Real Fine Ladies...that I could be ~reasonably sure~ weren't Fakes...
I was very excited about finding someone terrific...
and I fell-in-Love...Every time I Signed In!!
But...between *The Big 3*..I've visited less and less often...
.It's become more disappointing than anything else!!

1.) Ignorance
2.) "You're Too Old (or..."You Smoke!')
3.) "You're Too Far Away!!"
 JayneDoe40
Joined: 8/23/2012
Msg: 173
Love at first sight
Posted: 1/17/2013 11:25:58 AM
well... one time i was meeting a man at the airport; i met him on a date site and we talked for 3 weeks before his plane arrived. i was intrigued by his interest in me and flattered that he was willing to travel 4000 miles just to meet me... but i didn't really think beyond that... and i had no "physical" attraction to him... but i liked the way he looked at me. he looked like a 14 year old boy looking at a naked woman (except i was completely clothed).

i tried to get him to not come here two days before he was suppose to board the plane. i told him EVERY bad thing about myself that i could think of to scare him away *LOL* but he listened and said "is that it?" and i thought "isn't that enough?" then he said "nothing you can say will keep me from boarding that plane". so, in defeat i made final plans to meet him.

i was at the wrong terminal at the airport and he thought i'd stood him up *L* so he called from a payphone and told me to keep talking to him until he saw me... and then he said "i think i see you" so i hung up. he stood there kind of tangled around the payphone cord and he looked so boyish and charming and INSTANTLY i realized i couldn't move... my heart was pounding in my ears, i heard him say "you're even better in person" and he reached for my hand. my arm felt like heavy but as soon as his hand was in mine i realized my skin was cold and i could feel heat traveling from his touch (it as a hot summer day, no reason to be cold). i have no idea how long it took me to actually speak to him... i had no voice available.

i enjoyed 16 days with him; i realized 2 days before he left that i had fallen in love with him... i don't know exactly when it happened; i can't pinpoint a moment... but i have to say i think i was bonded to him when i first saw him standing there at that pay phone. everything just built itself up from there. i LOVED him before he flew home... and now 8 months later i can admit that i am COMPLETELY IN LOVE with this guy... but the fairy tale might be over for us. the distance has become a huge barrier.

i hope something in my story helps.
 venusenvy777
Joined: 11/19/2008
Msg: 175
Love at first sight
Posted: 1/17/2013 11:43:59 AM
I never believed in any of that until it happened to me. I ended up marrying him. Thats the only time it ever happened like that too, so I know it wasnt just attraction or lust...It smacked me sideways ass over tea-kettle ...and was completely unexpected...
 Secondhand_Lion
Joined: 11/10/2008
Msg: 176
view profile
History
Love at first sight
Posted: 1/17/2013 3:18:19 PM
I think I'm about as capable of that as Ray Charles was.....and I'm sure I could fall in love much easier if I were deaf. LOL
 Maleman999
Joined: 2/14/2010
Msg: 177
Love at first sight
Posted: 1/17/2013 3:45:07 PM

Msg 184: I never believed in any of that until it happened to me. I ended up marrying him. Thats the only time it ever happened like that too, so I know it wasnt just attraction or lust...It smacked me sideways ass over tea-kettle ...and was completely unexpected..


I noticed you're divorced. So what happened to the love at first sight?
 natgoat227
Joined: 6/10/2012
Msg: 178
view profile
History
Love at first sight
Posted: 1/17/2013 4:06:13 PM
Thanks, 'Jayne....'...
More words of inspiration.....
I'll "Grit my teeth and get a hit!!" . . . As Charlie Brown might say....
.....Reminding me of _two stories_ that I'll spare the readers the drudgery of reading...
But... be it said that those two ended very differently!!
I'm still Very Much a 'Love-at-first-sight' kind of guy...that tends to 'Play-outside-my-league', at times...but
still believe that stranger things Have happened . . . and may - just - yet - Again !!

~Fingers Crossed!!
 lostnfoundluv
Joined: 1/10/2009
Msg: 179
Love at first sight
Posted: 1/18/2013 7:19:40 PM
Only time lets us know whether it was love or not. sure people fall in love at first sight . but they dont know if it was love or infatuation!
 800Megawattz
Joined: 1/5/2008
Msg: 180
view profile
History
Love at first sight
Posted: 1/18/2013 10:11:19 PM
There is no love at first sight, it's always lust disguised as love. This is the reason why everyone is looking for "chemistry". Chemistry is really strong sexual attraction. Even if this fantasy leads to a relationship it wears off in between 6 months to a few years. Then the relationship spirals into the toilet and the cycle starts all over again with someone else.
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