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 countrygirlsusan
Joined: 8/31/2011
Msg: 182
Love at first sightPage 7 of 13    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13)
Sorry... But know one is worth wanting to be totaled and not you care..
 countrygirlsusan
Joined: 8/31/2011
Msg: 183
Love at first sight
Posted: 1/20/2013 9:31:31 AM
I agree that happens in most cases.. But I know of some relationships lasting 40 ,50 ,60 years.. Take care and good luck.
 rustyrusss1
Joined: 3/12/2012
Msg: 184
Love at first sight
Posted: 1/20/2013 8:13:51 PM
Yep.

Happened to me.
 tnt144
Joined: 10/22/2007
Msg: 185
Love at first sight
Posted: 1/20/2013 10:13:01 PM
There is no such thing as love at first sight. It takes a couple of months. Love grows over time.

However, people can come in at different levels of love when they first meet... some stronger at first, some less.... people who start out with a very high level of love when meeting someone fantastic may think they have fallen in love, perhaps that's where this idea comes from.
 Siennarh
Joined: 5/1/2015
Msg: 187
Love at first sight
Posted: 5/6/2015 1:53:18 AM
Actually it is possible because in research it was found that people looking at photos of loved ones caused certain areas of the brain to become active which would suggest from just looking at them they got feelings of love.

It could probably happen for someone you have just seen in a picture, as well. It's not like there is a prerequisite for these functions to occur. It does depend on the individual as well of course.
http://www.humintell.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/07/brain-in-love.jpg

There is also research at the opposite end, the hate end. Showing looking at someone you hate causes certain areas in the brain to be active that are associated with the 'hate circuit'.
http://psychcentral.com/news/2008/10/29/hate-area-of-brain-identified/3225.html
I think that it could be activated as well if you particularly dislike their looks or something as well, not just if you have had previous experience with them that caused you to hate them.
 Eternityboreme
Joined: 3/18/2015
Msg: 188
Love at first sight
Posted: 5/6/2015 3:36:19 AM
Love at first sight:

Yes, once with my ex-husband and no other man.

More importantly, I experienced this the days my children were born -- and the immense love I felt (and the undying love I have for them) -- even before they were born -- can never be compared...
 tgif333
Joined: 4/16/2015
Msg: 189
Love at first sight
Posted: 5/6/2015 6:14:15 AM
from Sienna:

There is also research at the opposite end, the hate end. Showing looking at someone you hate causes certain areas in the brain to be active that are associated with the 'hate circuit'.


I get this same feeling when I see a disheveled young lady in her teens or early 20's with a ring or hoop hanging off the bottom of their nose covered in ink smelling of cigarette smoke dragging a bunch of children behind her and using an Access Card at the grocery.
 CharminC
Joined: 2/19/2011
Msg: 190
Love at first sight
Posted: 5/6/2015 7:27:58 AM

I get this same feeling when I see a disheveled young lady in her teens or early 20's with a ring or hoop hanging off the bottom of their nose covered in ink smelling of cigarette smoke dragging a bunch of children behind her and using an Access Card at the grocery.



Hmmmm...
Judging little thing, aren't cha? !
 Siennarh
Joined: 5/1/2015
Msg: 191
Love at first sight
Posted: 5/6/2015 7:30:31 AM


I get this same feeling when I see a disheveled young lady in her teens or early 20's with a ring or hoop hanging off the bottom of their nose covered in ink smelling of cigarette smoke dragging a bunch of children behind her and using an Access Card at the grocery.


I get it when I see people smoking around babies and children
and when I see children under one being fed fast food chips
Like... my god.
 daynadaze
Joined: 2/11/2008
Msg: 192
view profile
History
Love at first sight
Posted: 5/6/2015 8:51:01 AM
I'm sure I've answered this one in here someplace, but I do not in any way believe in love at first sight. I believe you can love what you are looking at, you can love the potential you think they might have, you can be very attracted to them, you can be filled with the love of a fantasy, but you cannot love the person until you know the person. Most the time these people have loved-at-first-sight many times before and it didn't work out, but once it does work out, then they feel like it was love at first sight. As people we tend to totally forget that there were 20+ other people that turned out to be disasters for us, after we first thought it would be our dream come true. My favorite is when people show as proof, that their parents fell in love at first sight, when in fact they don't know what their parents did or didn't do, parents and grandparents tend to give fairytale stories to kids in hopes that their kids won't do what they did.

How many people are going to say, well I was desperately lonely, and out drinking with my friends, mad as hell because one of them was engaged and there I was alone again, and then this drunk guy asked me to dance. We ended up in his car having me perform oral sex on him, and damned if we didn't end up hitting it off and getting married. No, it's going to be how we looked at each other from across the room, our eyes locked in instant love and he carried me off to happily ever after.
 Eckhartwarmingtolle
Joined: 4/26/2015
Msg: 193
Love at first sight
Posted: 5/6/2015 9:03:22 AM
Lust and/or infatuation at first sight ?
Absolutely !

Love ?

Based on what ?
Her dazzling eyes that melt me instantly ?

That's not my definition of love.

I have to KNOW a person to develop those kind of feelings and that just ain't gonna happen by looking at dat hot azz, lol
 CharminC
Joined: 2/19/2011
Msg: 194
Love at first sight
Posted: 5/6/2015 9:26:42 AM
Love at first sight.......................> animal attraction
Pure and simple

True love takes time
Those couples you see after so many years of marriage, all the ups and downs, still kissing and holding hands? That's true love.
 SLAFFA
Joined: 8/13/2007
Msg: 195
Love at first sight
Posted: 5/6/2015 9:45:35 AM
Love at first SIGHT is rare but possible, when the stars align just so and ALL three components are present for a LTR.

Lust at first smell - pheomones - aka Chemistry - is far common or at least used to be. Chemistry is what accounts for all those folks who got married very quickly and highly likely had kids but quickly figured out that Chemistry was the only thing they had in common. It might only take a month to figure this out. I also suspect many couples STAY in bad Relationships simply because the Chemistry IS so strong.

Helen Fisher is the one to Google on this.
 Maleman999
Joined: 2/14/2010
Msg: 196
Love at first sight
Posted: 5/6/2015 9:51:06 AM
It would be funny if two strangers happened to look at each other and one felt love at first sight-and then find out the person they fell head over heels with is a transvestite or transgender. How do you know the other person would feel the same way? The other person might not find you attractive enough or not interested for whatever reason. Plus, how would you know if the other person is single and not attached if it's someone you see out in a public place? If you had the love-at-first-sight lightning bolt hit you, then found out the person was recently released from jail because of a murder conviction or bank robbery, would you still be madly in love?
 InnerGorilla
Joined: 4/1/2014
Msg: 197
Love at first sight
Posted: 5/6/2015 11:19:43 AM

Love at first sight.......................> animal attraction


I love animal attraction. It can be great fun, and it takes you into a whildwind of desires, dreams, naughty fantasies that turn into actions. But. I agree with you. It's not love. Love comes afterwards. It takes time and it overcomes adversity.
 ryuoki
Joined: 11/15/2013
Msg: 198
view profile
History
Love at first sight
Posted: 5/6/2015 11:24:52 AM
Sadly, this site and all others like it primarily cater to this. Just visual carnal desires is the primary focus most of both sexes have in mind when coming here.
 chameleonf
Joined: 12/22/2008
Msg: 199
Love at first sight
Posted: 5/6/2015 11:35:37 AM
You can "love" the sight of a person at first, but you can't love the person, themselves, if you don't know them. Well, that's me anyway. I must admit I've seen people who have met for the first time and one or the other does that doe eyed "I love you" look that makes everyone, including the object of their doe eyed look, super uncomfortable. I find it kinda creepy if a person attaches the word "love" to someone instantly without even knowing them. Have there been people who have married extremely shortly after meeting someone and stayed married?...sure...but I believe they were only fortunate that they were able to develop the love after having taken the leap, not because they loved each other at first sight. It reminds me of the new show "Married At First Sight" - and even that show is based on "experts" choosing someone based on a large number of qualifying traits suited for each of the individuals.
 ThePig0fYourDreams
Joined: 2/2/2015
Msg: 200
Love at first sight
Posted: 5/6/2015 11:56:29 AM
You don't know their name, their address, their favorite color, the favorite TV show, their criminal history, their sexual preference, their views on relationships, their personality, their political views....

But you can still love them??

I hate to sound unromantic, but love isn't a magical spell.
 CharminC
Joined: 2/19/2011
Msg: 201
Love at first sight
Posted: 5/6/2015 12:19:13 PM

I love animal attraction. It can be great fun, and it takes you into a whildwind of desires, dreams, naughty fantasies that turn into actions. But. I agree with you. It's not love. Love comes afterwards. It takes time and it overcomes adversity.



Yup.
it's like a flame
You can have that quick burst of fire that completely overwhelms you or that slow steady burn that runs deep

If you can experience both with the same person.......................keeper!!!! :D
 ThatGirlNamedAlli
Joined: 12/28/2013
Msg: 202
Love at first sight
Posted: 5/6/2015 12:29:12 PM
I've never had love at 2nd, 12th, 1000th sight. :) I'm sure I'm capable of it, just haven't met the right one.
 Tarnished_Knight
Joined: 3/5/2009
Msg: 203
view profile
History
Love at first sight
Posted: 5/6/2015 1:10:33 PM
pig oinked out this little ditty:
You don't know their name, their address, their favorite color, the favorite TV show, their criminal history, their sexual preference, their views on relationships, their personality, their political views....

But you can still love them??

I hate to sound unromantic, but love isn't a magical spell.


and while I initially agreed he DID get me to thinking - Thanks pig!

So, what is love? Is it all the stuff that tpoyd listed above or is it something else. My thought was perhaps all that other stuff is what we layer on top of LOVE that we, as modern humans, have learned to layer on to facilitate healthy relationships between men and women and in kind to promote a successful couple experience to the benefit of society and to the raising and nurturing of children. (Children, of course, introduce a whole other aspect of love at first sight. After which we need to discuss the four types of love so that we know what it is that we ARE talking about.)

Think about it: everything that tpoyd listed are elements present in modern society. 10,000+ years ago were these really an issue? What you cared about was if the other was someone you were attracted to and perhaps attracted to you. Were you good together. What was the basis 10,000+ years ago. I wonder if they did in fact love. There might be some other male-female dynamics going on 10,000+ years ago that we don't have a good handle on today!

But today, yes, I want to know more about a woman than just how she looks in a swim suit or a fetching pair of leggings (I really enjoy leggings on women of late! Mini skirt/leggings, mini skirt/leggings -- I just don't know. Wait, I do: mini skirt over leggings!) I do want to know about her character, her religion/spiritual life, TV or not, etc. But these elements are not about love; these are about compatibility.

Love is that knot down inside that gets me to stand between her and an ornery dog, love is the feeling that comes over me when she's sick and I'm just as miserable as her, love is the knowledge that, should it come down to it, I will die for her. Love is not compatibility.

Where it comes from I haven't a clue. Some have opined it is HLA-complex compatibility. Perhaps it is a spot in our brains that is hardwired to a particular image, sound, smell, a particular geometric ratio of eyes/nose/mouth/ears. Does "love" require face to face? anecdotal evidence indicates is does not, but could it be that "love" does not come to fruition until we meet?

Perhaps "love" is all the above and stuff we still have no idea about.
Perhaps "love" is nothing more than attraction and we have messed the whole thing up because we have these big complex brains that want to analyze everything.

Then again, one thing I'm pretty sure of is I don't think I'm the one you ought to or want to ask.

TK
 justdeb1111
Joined: 8/12/2012
Msg: 204
Love at first sight
Posted: 5/6/2015 1:23:15 PM
I....am going to take the side of Devil's Advocate here.

I worked as a Hospice RN for quite some time, attended many married men and women who were dying. One of the things that really hit me is that most of them, when they first met their spouse-to-be, went home and told family or friends that "He (she) is the one I'm going to marry" or "I'm going to marry that man (lady)".

They knew when they met them--explain away that? These folks had been married for decades, a lifetime...
 Eternityboreme
Joined: 3/18/2015
Msg: 205
Love at first sight
Posted: 5/6/2015 1:24:09 PM

I get this same feeling when I see a disheveled young lady in her teens or early 20's


I thought this is your preferred age bracket?



with a ring or hoop hanging off the bottom of their nose covered in ink smelling of cigarette smoke dragging a bunch of children behind her and using an Access Card at the grocery.


I can only imagine _their_ disgust when they see old codgers with false teeth and with augmented facial features, staring at them and at their young children.
 justdeb1111
Joined: 8/12/2012
Msg: 206
Love at first sight
Posted: 5/6/2015 1:27:32 PM
^^^^^^^^^^^

Oooooo I wish this site had "thumbs up" capability.
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