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 InnerGorilla
Joined: 4/1/2014
Msg: 207
Love at first sightPage 8 of 13    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13)

Love is that knot down inside that gets me to stand between her and an ornery dog, love is the feeling that comes over me when she's sick and I'm just as miserable as her, love is the knowledge that, should it come down to it, I will die for her. Love is not compatibility.


Beautifully said. Filled with passion.

I have to add. When I met my gf, it was lust at first sight. We lusted and had a lot of sex. The sex was so damn good that it began to worry both of us, because we were developing feelings and did not want the whole thing to be just about the sex. So while many people play the get to know each other first, then they explore the sex, we did it backwards. But as the days passed by, and our sexuality evolve into being more spiritual and yes, more sex, we realize that we could spend endless hours talking about anything. That we had similar values when it came to kids. That we loved similar things and appreciated exactly what the other had that we did not have. So our lust evolved into love. And even in our own disagreements or arguments, they have served to make us love each other more, understand each other more, and want to be with each other even more.
 gfe0787
Joined: 4/24/2015
Msg: 208
Love at first sight
Posted: 5/6/2015 2:04:26 PM
I don't believe in love at first sight....simply because I don't find it possible to love someone I've never even spoken with. Lust at first sight- yes, that can happen.
 ryuoki
Joined: 11/15/2013
Msg: 209
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History
Love at first sight
Posted: 5/6/2015 2:55:08 PM
Love is a choice. Simply just that. A mixing of various chemical reactions triggering the pleasure sensors of our brains. Who we focus those chemicals on is that choice.
 CharminC
Joined: 2/19/2011
Msg: 210
Love at first sight
Posted: 5/6/2015 2:58:24 PM

they first met their spouse-to-be, went home and told family or friends that "He (she) is the one I'm going to marry" or "I'm going to marry that man (lady)".
They knew when they met them--explain away that? These folks had been married for decades, a lifetime...



Could it be that quick burst of fire that completely overwhelmed them and over time, turned into a slow steady burn that runs deep ? ;)
 Maleman999
Joined: 2/14/2010
Msg: 211
Love at first sight
Posted: 5/6/2015 3:06:34 PM
Maybe you're onto something InnerGorilla, by skipping over the preliminary interviews, testing, game playing, keeping an updated scorecard and final report card that the majority of people here would deem as necessary before even considering a first meet. It would seem the majority of people here have wounded souls, similar to PTSD, so they feel it's necessary to have a 10,000 step program before even considering meeting someone, because they want a guarantee that nothing could possibly ever go wrong, unlike their previous shot(s) at the love game.

A question for you, InnerGorilla: Is the bio father of your girlfriend's kids involved in their lives, and if so, how much so? Since you mentioned a few times about all of the sex you're having all of the time, it makes wonder if the kids are at their dad's place a lot, since it would seem hard to have that much sex if the kids are always around-unless you live in a place the size of Buckingham Palace, which I doubt you do. I consider your girlfriend very lucky to find a guy who is willing to raise, or help raise her kids, since that would be a deal breaker for a lot of guys. Not many guys would be willing to do raise another man's kids-especially a guy who has no bio kids of his own.
 ThePig0fYourDreams
Joined: 2/2/2015
Msg: 212
Love at first sight
Posted: 5/6/2015 4:04:33 PM

Could it be that quick burst of fire that completely overwhelmed them and over time, turned into a slow steady burn that runs deep ? ;)


That's what I would be inclined to believe over love at her first sight. One can make a prediction based on wishful thinking, and have a 50/50 shot of it coming true.



But these elements are not about love; these are about compatibility.


Ok, here's a question. Let's say I'm out and about with a friend. Male or female. They make eye contact with another individual, and they claim it's "love at first sight".

I ask them WHY they love this person. They best they will be able to give me is something along the lines of "I don't know, I just do.", which really doesn't validate any claim of "love" for me.

Another question. There's very little in this world I wouldn't do for someone I love. If they were in a dire financial situation, and they needed $5,000 to pull themselves out if it, I would give it to them if I had it. Would someone claiming "love at first sight" do the same??

I'd question their sanity if they did.
 justdeb1111
Joined: 8/12/2012
Msg: 213
Love at first sight
Posted: 5/6/2015 4:34:33 PM

they first met their spouse-to-be, went home and told family or friends that "He (she) is the one I'm going to marry" or "I'm going to marry that man (lady)".
They knew when they met them--explain away that? These folks had been married for decades, a lifetime...


Could it be that quick burst of fire that completely overwhelmed them and over time, turned into a slow steady burn that runs deep ? ;)

Maybe. Or maybe it was a different time, 50-60+ years ago but now we've either forgotten how to fall in love or we over analyze it so much that love is lost somewhere in the data. People back then tended to fall in love and marry and stay in the same area too--they would already have had much common history, maybe religion and probably even the same friends.

Maybe it's a combination of fire and the simplicity of everyday mundane things that makes a marriage last till death.
 tgif333
Joined: 4/16/2015
Msg: 214
Love at first sight
Posted: 5/6/2015 4:43:01 PM

Another question. There's very little in this world I wouldn't do for someone I love. If they were in a dire financial situation, and they needed $5,000 to pull themselves out if it, I would give it to them if I had it. Would someone claiming "love at first sight" do the same??



good question Mr. Pig. you'd be correct to question their judgment.
but your hypothesis is one sided. only one person is in love. to complete this scenario what if BOTH parties said they loved one another at first sight and one of them asked for the $5000?

what to do, what to do........
 ThePig0fYourDreams
Joined: 2/2/2015
Msg: 215
Love at first sight
Posted: 5/6/2015 5:43:43 PM


Maybe. Or maybe it was a different time, 50-60+ years ago but now we've either forgotten how to fall in love or we over analyze it so much that love is lost somewhere in the data.


At the same time, we can't disregard the number of supposed "love at first sight" marriages that actually failed. As for analyzing, these forums are a shining example of just how over-analytical people can be today. However, I don't necessarily discourage implementing critical thinking.


but your hypothesis is one sided. only one person is in love. to complete this scenario what if BOTH parties said they loved one another at first sight and one of them asked for the $5000?


True, but I assumed we were speaking from a one sided perspective, anyway. But even if the other person agreed they loved the other "at first sight", I'm still questioning the sanity of the person willing to fork over the cash.
 sigungq
Joined: 1/4/2013
Msg: 216
view profile
History
Love at first sight
Posted: 5/6/2015 6:06:41 PM
No such thing. Even "instant chemistry" is unicorn.
 daynadaze
Joined: 2/11/2008
Msg: 217
view profile
History
Love at first sight
Posted: 5/6/2015 6:18:39 PM

Maybe. Or maybe it was a different time, 50-60+ years ago but now we've either forgotten how to fall in love or we over analyze it so much that love is lost somewhere in the data.


No, it was the same 60 years ago, people are the same, the lies society tells each other changes with the times but the actual events and the people types, still all the same. So far no magic forces have made people different than the people who came before them.
 pepperstrand
Joined: 1/25/2015
Msg: 218
Love at first sight
Posted: 5/7/2015 8:01:26 AM
I had chatted with someone from pof and we had a simple drink date at a McDonald's. I knew there was a connection from the start but when he pulled into the lot, I was smiling and waiting at the door. I think that is called strong attraction or love. Not on any other date did I stand waiting for the man to come in. So for all you men out there, if you can get your body off the couch for someone you are interested in , it might be love!!!!!!!!!!!!!! lol
 Maleman999
Joined: 2/14/2010
Msg: 219
Love at first sight
Posted: 5/7/2015 8:22:05 AM

At the same time, we can't disregard the number of supposed "love at first sight" marriages that actually failed.


That would be the same as the infamous "instant chemistry" that so many people feel is necessary within a fraction of a second when meeting a stranger. How many divorced people had the instant chemistry as soon as they met their ex for the first time?

I guess with the internet generation, it would be Love at first text message. It amazes me how many people fall in love just from exchanging text messages before meeting someone in person.
 CharminC
Joined: 2/19/2011
Msg: 220
Love at first sight
Posted: 5/7/2015 8:34:31 AM

I'm still questioning the sanity of the person willing to fork over the cash.




Either filthy stinkin' rich or blind naivete
 CarefreeBeauty
Joined: 5/30/2014
Msg: 221
Love at first sight
Posted: 5/7/2015 9:29:39 AM
I DO believe in 'love at first sight'~ the trick to keeping it fresh is to keep your eyes closed ever after! haha just kidding
 Maleman999
Joined: 2/14/2010
Msg: 222
Love at first sight
Posted: 5/7/2015 3:11:12 PM
Is it possible to have love at first sight with many people at the same time or at various times after it happened once? Is there a limit to how many people you can have love at first sight with? If you get into a love at first sight situation, and find out later the person you instantly fell in love with has an identical twin, would there be a chance of having love at first sight with the twin also? If there was no encounter with the person who became the love at first sight, do you think it could happen with someone else? In other words, what does it take to become a candidate for love at first sight with a total stranger, besides good looks? Or is it based solely on looks?
 Eternityboreme
Joined: 3/18/2015
Msg: 223
Love at first sight
Posted: 5/7/2015 3:18:07 PM
^^ My former husband and I were young, horny, and we wanted to reproduce. At the time it was quite an extraordinary love affair, the only time I fell in love at first sight.

My relationships aren't based on procreation or any wish for it. This time, it's for the long haul (providing there isn't any extraordinary bullshit), if it happens again.
 bamagrl68
Joined: 11/14/2010
Msg: 224
Love at first sight
Posted: 5/7/2015 4:21:21 PM
westcoast-reble- I don't believe in love at first sight.
Lust, instant attraction, instant like, yes.
True love takes time to develop.
I've heard the stories, people saying that they fell in love at first sight and they've been together ever since.
These stories are people who got very lucky, the person they were instantly attracted to turned out to be good people who were compatible with them.
 bucsgirl
Joined: 5/13/2006
Msg: 225
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History
Love at first sight
Posted: 5/7/2015 4:45:38 PM
What happens when you meet someone new, I'll call it an energy, some say connection that sometimes just is there. Sometimes, after speaking a bit, any interest falls flat, sometimes it doesn't. I remember when I met my late husband..there was physical attraction but it was more, not something I could put my finger on RIGHT THEN. Fortunately, we were able to get to know each other as we both belonged to the same group, so it was a couple of months before we actually went out and were married fairly soon after. I would never say it was LOVE at first sight, the love evolved as we talked, I saw how he interacted and treated other people...I think this is usually the case when people use the love at first sight, they fall in love (later on) with someone they had positive energy with at first sight.
 Behind-Blue-Eyes_53
Joined: 12/19/2011
Msg: 226
Love at first sight
Posted: 5/7/2015 4:50:16 PM

At the same time, we can't disregard the number of supposed "love at first sight" marriages that actually failed.



That would be the same as the infamous "instant chemistry" that so many people feel is necessary within a fraction of a second when meeting a stranger. How many divorced people had the instant chemistry as soon as they met their ex for the first time?


You're Divorced, did You, or did You not 'Love' Your Wife at one Time? What difference does it make if it was Love @ 1st Sight or Instant Chemistry? If they Loved the Person when they Married them, are they any different than You?
 LetitiaLeGrande
Joined: 3/22/2015
Msg: 227
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History
Love at first sight
Posted: 5/7/2015 5:46:33 PM
sigungq

Just has not happened to you, is all. A sweeping statement to make. Plenty of us have felt that instant connection or chemistry, call it what you will.

Unicorns more than likely once existed. Why not??
 LetitiaLeGrande
Joined: 3/22/2015
Msg: 228
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History
Love at first sight
Posted: 5/7/2015 5:59:18 PM
maleman999

Why would you think that people can fall in love at first sight with someone they consider very ugly and obese? Not likely is it? Physical attraction is what it is about initially, pheromones etc. The way they walk and talk etc. Whether it turns into an enduring love, happens sometimes, sometimes not. Can a man for instance ever fall in love with a woman they consider plain and not physically appealing?? I would like to know.
 Behind-Blue-Eyes_53
Joined: 12/19/2011
Msg: 229
Love at first sight
Posted: 5/7/2015 6:26:19 PM

Can a man for instance ever fall in love with a woman they consider plain and not physically appealing?? I would like to know.


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9NF5XU-k2Vk
 south_city
Joined: 10/12/2013
Msg: 230
Love at first sight
Posted: 5/8/2015 6:10:05 AM
Lust or physical attraction = Yes.
Love = No.

I need to know other things about them before I might fall in love. Personality, beliefs, values, overall compatibility etc
 Maleman999
Joined: 2/14/2010
Msg: 231
Love at first sight
Posted: 5/8/2015 6:19:59 AM

maleman999...Why would you think that people can fall in love at first sight with someone they consider very ugly and obese?


Quote exactly where that statement is made. I don't recall any statement resembling that.
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