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 Giggles10000
Joined: 6/17/2011
Msg: 18
Mom Is 50 and Is Competitive with me?!Page 4 of 5    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5)
Wow--my youngest daughter is 21 and I would never consider hitting on anyone she likes --EVER--heck when I was growing up if a friend liked a guy you just steered clear of him --so I cant imagine a mom acting like this.

My daughter has some male friends who kid with me that they want to date me etc--but no one takes it seriously and they arent guys she is interested in as more than friends--when I split up with my ex and changed my relationship status one of them said he was now officially hitting on me and everyone thought it was cute cause it is more a crush than anything real--you might suggest that your mom talk to someone otherwise someone or quite a few guys will have a field day with her ego!
 BLoNde__ANgeL
Joined: 9/20/2011
Msg: 21
Mom Is 50 and Is Competitive with me?!
Posted: 6/7/2012 6:10:18 AM

Seriously, get your own life, why do you go out with her?

Because your Mom is being competative, you need to establish firm boundaries with her. Listen to Alfredo! & BTW, welcome back to the forums, Alfredo!
 nubeginnings64
Joined: 4/8/2012
Msg: 22
Mom Is 50 and Is Competitive with me?!
Posted: 6/7/2012 6:23:59 AM
Sounds more like the disproving daughter is making all the waves. Your issue if mom makes you feel 2nd to her. Also makes you the competitor if your pointing out you like the guy she's flirting with it, especially when your so in love with a guy stationed overseas, which is in another of your forum posts. Lose the disrespectful critique too before mom has to put you in your place.
 Lint Spotter
Joined: 8/27/2009
Msg: 24
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Mom Is 50 and Is Competitive with me?!
Posted: 6/7/2012 8:07:29 AM

What do I do? This is such an awkward situation!!??
Ouch... I cannot even begin to imagine competing with my 22 year old daughter or even flirting with the same guy as she is flirting with or even just interested in exploring a relationship.

I feel for ya OP...
 jeep1127girl
Joined: 12/31/2009
Msg: 26
Mom Is 50 and Is Competitive with me?!
Posted: 6/7/2012 8:16:25 AM
lol...Im sorry thats just messed up...good luck sweetie
 blissness108
Joined: 3/6/2012
Msg: 28
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Mom Is 50 and Is Competitive with me?!
Posted: 6/7/2012 8:21:00 AM
I agree with the many posters who wrote about healthy mother/daughter boundaries. You have to let your Mom follow her own path. It can be painful at times to watch.

It also seems like putting distance between you both, esp. in the world of dating, is really necessary. You are truly beautiful and her comments have to do with her own insecurites, it has no judgement on you.

I have a 21 year old daughter. She has encouraged me to not only join dating sites, but to also begin dating. But that is where the story ends. We go to karaoke together once in awhile...she wants me to get out and have fun. I take a separate car and am usually vamoosed in an hour. We eat together, we may sing together, but then, I kiss her goodnight and drive off in my own car.

You love each other. You both just need space to explore the dating scene as you each see fit. Good luck.
 femaleconnection
Joined: 8/12/2010
Msg: 29
Mom Is 50 and Is Competitive with me?!
Posted: 6/7/2012 8:43:08 AM
Stop taking her out.

If/When she asks why you dont want to hang around with her...tell her the truth! That it is embarrassing having your mother act like 'Milf's gone wild'.

I can see a little from Moms POV, in that if she is a good looking lady she cannot help getting attention.....so make it clear it is not the attention so much as how your Mom reacts to the attention that is the issue. Any grown woman who can only find esteem if men give attention does have issues.

No one else will ever respect your boundaries if you dont define them and defend them for yourself, so you need to do that. It will get worse before it gets better, but it will only get better if you act and defemd your boundaries starting right now.

Maybe find a ridiculous video of an older woman who thinks she is still 21 and make her watch it. She may need a visual of another woman her age looking silly, to see how she herself is presenting to the world.
 joe_226
Joined: 11/19/2011
Msg: 30
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Mom Is 50 and Is Competitive with me?!
Posted: 6/7/2012 9:39:03 AM
Dear,
If I may say...you're mother should have more respect for you than to go "chasing" after those you're potentially interested in. Only thing I can suggest, if I may, is to (1) Quit having your mother around those you're "fishing for"...lol and (2) If you meet someone...and they're of good moral character...they will shut your mother's sh** down QUICK, FAST, & IN A HURRY. If they don't, then that should tell you that they're not worth the effort...because, if it's not you're mother they're messing with, it will be another woman.
 Maleman999
Joined: 2/14/2010
Msg: 31
Mom Is 50 and Is Competitive with me?!
Posted: 6/7/2012 9:45:09 AM
This is an old issue of people re-living their youth through their kids. People who breed at a young age feel they have been robbed of young adulthood life and dreams because their life revolves around the kid(s) instead of themselves. The classic, very common case is guys pushing their sons to participate and excel in sports from a very young age. Or women pushing their pre-teen daughters into beauty pageants (and dressing them up to look like hookers). I've heard so many guys say: "My son is going to be a star athlete in (pick a sport) and he's going to make millions of dollars and will be very famous." What the father is really saying is that was his dream of himself in his youth. Same thing for the women whose daughters are in beauty pageants.

The OP's mother feels she has to make up for lost time because she had to change sh1tty diapers and take care of kids in her prime instead of partying and having fun. The only relief for the OP is this won't last long. Time will catch up to the mother quicker than she would like to and she will quickly end up looking and feeling her age or older.
 SweetLilGTP
Joined: 10/22/2010
Msg: 38
Mom Is 50 and Is Competitive with me?!
Posted: 6/7/2012 1:19:10 PM
lol...Im sorry thats just messed up


Yet probably far more common in the days of single motherhood. I'm quite sure that the "my dad keeps hitting on or sleeping with my girlfriends" thing is not far behind.

I guess I would declare mom and daughter time as "no offence" periods; meaning that you both allow the men to be around you flirt free, and whoever they move on is who gets the date.

Whenever friends and I have found that mom AND daughter seem to be overly flirting; we label em both as circus freaks, and move on with a laugh. <--That one's free advice for you from the man book.

Cheers
 Miss W
Joined: 12/4/2006
Msg: 39
Mom Is 50 and Is Competitive with me?!
Posted: 6/7/2012 1:28:28 PM

She doesn't do well dating for several reasons.

She sounds highly delusional and dysfunctional. My late mother, who was 40 years older than I used to compete with me and my sisters for attention from our male friends and correct our behaviors around them.

I learned not to bring them around. I had one guy ask me if my mother wanted me to find a husband. You may want to do the same.
 ChancesRMD
Joined: 4/11/2009
Msg: 49
Mom Is 50 and Is Competitive with me?!
Posted: 6/7/2012 6:25:16 PM
You could always duke it out on Jerry.
 seanschevy49
Joined: 4/9/2012
Msg: 53
Mom Is 50 and Is Competitive with me?!
Posted: 6/7/2012 9:57:07 PM
Post up a link to your mom's profile....

Does she like younger dudes?
 tensail
Joined: 10/15/2009
Msg: 55
Mom Is 50 and Is Competitive with me?!
Posted: 6/7/2012 10:47:23 PM
she isnt u n u aint her, acept diff n move on, she sounds insecure- its common wit women, shes jealous as shes had her life really n urs is just begining, gl.
 jmark4
Joined: 7/3/2011
Msg: 56
Mom Is 50 and Is Competitive with me?!
Posted: 6/7/2012 10:48:20 PM
wow; this is kind of strange to me; I hope it works out.
 spot4username
Joined: 6/19/2007
Msg: 68
Mom Is 50 and Is Competitive with me?!
Posted: 6/8/2012 8:03:26 AM

Ok, I'm tired of all of you "cyber bullying" me. Thank you to those who actually helped, I know what to do now. And those you, especially the 50-60 year olds that just wanted to bad-mouth me, I feel sad for you. Murder She Wrote it on! Tune in.


Pot meet kettle.

I always hated that show. In fact I don't have a t.v. or a cat. I guess I totally fail at old lady status. *cries uncontrollably*
 Pingshooter
Joined: 3/15/2009
Msg: 69
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Mom Is 50 and Is Competitive with me?!
Posted: 6/8/2012 8:53:18 AM
Boy are there some issues present here..wow..

I'd stop taking your Mom out for fun times. It's obvious, she is using you as a man magnet. That needs to stop.
Secondly, enroll here in a course on how to use a computer. Get her to take it.
Lastly..as others have said..set boundaries with your Mom on what is acceptable and what isn't, and make dayum sure Mom fully understands them.
 DragonBits
Joined: 1/6/2012
Msg: 79
Mom Is 50 and Is Competitive with me?!
Posted: 6/8/2012 12:54:11 PM
I haven't read any of the posts. So who is winning the competition, the daugher or the mother?
 SweetLilGTP
Joined: 10/22/2010
Msg: 80
Mom Is 50 and Is Competitive with me?!
Posted: 6/8/2012 12:57:13 PM
I haven't read any of the posts. So who is winning the competition, the daugher or the mother?


Angela Lansberry

 mrbreezeet1
Joined: 11/7/2005
Msg: 87
Mom Is 50 and Is Competitive with me?!
Posted: 6/16/2012 4:05:34 PM
send us a link to her profile?
 vestaceres
Joined: 6/13/2012
Msg: 89
Mom Is 50 and Is Competitive with me?!
Posted: 6/16/2012 5:15:44 PM
Ideally, it's your mom's responsibility to set the example and support you in finding a healthy relationship. Her crises and competitiveness is blocking this; she is hindering your happiness by doing this, though I don't think it's malicious. I hope that you two find a way to respect each other's boundaries.
 arwen52
Joined: 3/13/2008
Msg: 90
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Mom Is 50 and Is Competitive with me?!
Posted: 6/16/2012 5:19:59 PM


What do I do? This is such an awkward situation!!??


Get your own life, stop hanging around with your mom so much for awhile?
 coco44110
Joined: 5/23/2012
Msg: 91
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Mom Is 50 and Is Competitive with me?!
Posted: 6/16/2012 5:42:31 PM
Wow, I love the relationship you have with your daughter. It sounds like a normal healthy mother/daughter relationship. You guys obviously love AND respect each other. There is a 30 year age difference between my daughter and I. she is 17, and I am 47. Here is the thing, when I notice men noticing her, first off if they are anywhere near my age, as a mom I get pissed. But if they are within her age range 18-20 or so...I am proud as I believe any Mom would be be. I believe my baby is beautiful...and it warms my heart when others notice.

I cannot imagine ever embarrassing my daughter by flirting with young men she's interested in. I feel so sorry for the young lady who made this post. Her Mom is definitely not considering her feelings. But one thing that I have noticed, quite a few of my friends are into younger guys...we are 47, and they are dating men my son's age, 25 and younger. I don't have a problem at all with that, as long as both parties are of age. My personal feeling about younger men is this, I just couldn't date a fella that was my son's age. I prefer fellas who are my age. To the young lady, sweetie don't avoid those situations with your Mom. That way she won't get a chance to flirt with your fellas. Also as far as the computer, show her a couple of times, then leave her on her own. She will get it, trust me when I say that. It sounds like she is using your circle of friends as a means to get herself out there. That is unfair to you...sweetie it is YOUR TURN. Time for her to stand back and let YOU shine. Good luck!
 coco44110
Joined: 5/23/2012
Msg: 92
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Mom Is 50 and Is Competitive with me?!
Posted: 6/16/2012 5:45:41 PM
Aww that is so sweet! "Officially hitting on you" lol, so cute!
 rockondon
Joined: 2/21/2007
Msg: 93
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Mom Is 50 and Is Competitive with me?!
Posted: 6/16/2012 5:53:37 PM
What's your mom's problem? Doesn't she realize that you rule her life and that she's not allowed to make her own decisions? How dare she do something that makes her happy.


Are you REALLY going to bring some 24 year old to church? Because I've already brought a man in his fourties to church because I don't f'ing care
So she has to date someone her own age but you don't. Nice double standard you got there.


YOU on the other hand care way too much about what people think.
Its so nice of you to let your mother know what she thinks and feels. I hope she extends you the same courtesy some day, that way you'll know how it feels to deal with your own attitude.
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