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 Iona_Bob
Joined: 3/31/2012
Msg: 151
Dating over 55/SOME women over 55 and on POF will enjoy sex while SOME couldn't give a rat's azz.Page 7 of 8    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8)
One way to approach her might be to say something like this. "I have discovered that many women 55 and older are no longer interested in sex or, finding sex painful, are no longer sexually viable. I am not asking for sex at this time but before we even contemplate dating I would like to determine if you still enjoy sex with the right man in the right circumstances."

Ohhh Myyyy Gawwwwd!?


Lyfe - I totally defend your right to eschew older females in favor of those 20 - 25 years your junior. However, this post makes me wonder if you have the ability to even connect with an over-55 gal. I am glad you can draw from the younger pot, because it may be your only option.
 Ready_Real
Joined: 12/30/2010
Msg: 152
 nativerock
Joined: 10/16/2010
Msg: 153
Dating over 55/SOME women over 55 and on POF will enjoy sex while SOME couldn't give a rat's azz.
Posted: 6/12/2012 2:11:45 PM

Show me a woman who can have sex with the same guy over and over without an emotional attachment and I will show you a woman who is not psychologically healthy.


Well she is not healthy because she does not want an emotional attachment to anyone.. I know women that have had the same lover for years.. He arrives they do the deed and he leaves.. They do not even go anywhere together but straight to bed.. Her level of emotional attachment to him is at a very very low level..She is unhealthy because she does not want any level of it but yes it creeps in sometimes but believe from the few women I know in this sutation not to any kind of degree.. She is not about to allow it.. Same for some gentlemen..
 tbicon
Joined: 5/6/2012
Msg: 154
Dating over 55/SOME women over 55 and on POF will enjoy sex while SOME couldn't give a rat's azz.
Posted: 6/12/2012 3:00:21 PM
I probably have more of an emotional connection to the male friends than they have experienced with their lovers..


A good female friend to a guy is special in her own right, but she is not a substitute for the emotional fulfillment of a regular lover. There is only one way to have that kind of intimacy and that is through physical contact.


Well she is not healthy because she does not want an emotional attachment to anyone..


I remember well my younger days when there were women who purportedly liked to have sex with guys simply for the sake of having sex. I think that many of these women were psychollogically damaged. And in the end, even though they tried to put up a brave front, if those guys they were having sex with ended up in relationships with other women, these woman would always be very jealous and angry about it. It never failed. So if a woman can do it, she is damaged goods as far as I am concerned, but just because a woman says she can do it does not mean she really can. The great chances are she is simply fooling herself.


what do women want


Boy OP, that's an easy one. They want attention, they want to be loved, they want their egos stroked, they want good sex, and they want it all with a guy to whom they are attracted to. This list is by no means all inclusive, but it hits the basics.
 nativerock
Joined: 10/16/2010
Msg: 155
Dating over 55/SOME women over 55 and on POF will enjoy sex while SOME couldn't give a rat's azz.
Posted: 6/12/2012 3:11:20 PM

if those guys they were having sex with ended up in relationships with other women, these woman would always be very jealous and angry about it. It never failed. So if a woman can do it, she is damaged goods as far as I am concerned, but just because a woman says she can do it does not mean she really can. The great chances are she is simply fooling herself.


Okay I was talking about 2 people that basically only wanted sex from one another.. These people are not at all young they are over 55 but have had a purely sexual relationship since their late 30's together.. They both also have other lovers from time to time.. Because they say the following "I do not put a leash on you and you do not put a leash on me, after all your never know what might present around the corner.." So others have come in and gone out during those years and no problems because of it.. You see these people are not at all interested in a relationship.. So it is not like the man is going to run off and get into some kind of committed relationship and he knows she is not going to either.

Only in one instance did I see the green monster rear it's head.. That is when the gentleman came on to her sister when she was not home when he came calling.. The sister gave him the boot and told her about it.. That resulted in her being furious at guess who? her sister. So where does that leave you?
 moraima
Joined: 6/26/2005
Msg: 156
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Dating over 55/SOME women over 55 and on POF will enjoy sex while SOME couldn't give a rat's azz.
Posted: 6/12/2012 3:21:27 PM
"Boy OP, that's an easy one. They want attention, they want to be loved, they want their egos stroked, they want good sex, and they want it all with a guy to whom they are attracted to. "

This over 55 women doesn't want/ need attention. I am way too busy with my world to have any desire for more attention.

I am loved by many people in several countries. The kind of love that has lasted decades, and will continue to last for a life time. A new love is my God daughter who was born 3 days ago in the so called third world.

The last thing I want or need is my ego being stroked. A healthy ego never need stoking. I dump people quickly how don't get the concept that I find ego stroking offensive. The only people who need their egos stroked are off the scale insecure people. People who don't get that concept don't fit into my relationships.

Of course health human want good sex. Having sex with anyone we aren't attracted to is just such an unpleasant idea that a healthy person wants no part of.

Good grief. It isn't rock science, or at least it should be after the age of 55.

"Many women do not complete the "Needs Test" in their profiles. "

This women doesn't complete any test that doesn't fit the type of person she is. Answering questions that don't have an a) b) c) answer than doesn't fit all people is just a waste of time.

"I think it mythical the view that women have less control over their emotions than men"

Please, if I had a dollar for the amount of men I have meet who have less control over their emotions that I do, I would be able to fill the gas tank of my SUV many times over.
 tbicon
Joined: 5/6/2012
Msg: 157
Dating over 55/SOME women over 55 and on POF will enjoy sex while SOME couldn't give a rat's azz.
Posted: 6/12/2012 4:30:47 PM
Native, two people having sex with one another year after year are in a relationship, whether they like it or not. It may not be an exclusive relationship . . but as long as your friends have lasted, a pretty damn good relationship. As for the green monster, it is unlikely either one would admit to the other that the monster has reared its head, or maybe it truly hasn't because they are content with the security knowing the other one will always be there for them. They probably even love each other, although they might not recognize this on a conscious level.
 mjinict
Joined: 8/13/2008
Msg: 158
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Dating over 55/SOME women over 55 and on POF will enjoy sex while SOME couldn't give a rat's azz.
Posted: 6/12/2012 7:07:30 PM
Boy OP, that's an easy one. They want attention, they want to be loved, they want their egos stroked, they want good sex, and they want it all with a guy to whom they are attracted to. This list is by no means all inclusive, but it hits the basics.
----------
And that's a bad thing??....Oh, and I notice Wonder has 'no intimate encounters on her profile.'
 statemachine500
Joined: 8/25/2011
Msg: 159
Dating over 55/SOME women over 55 and on POF will enjoy sex while SOME couldn't give a rat's azz.
Posted: 6/12/2012 8:53:19 PM

wow this tread got weird. Sex... is just sex. We are children of the 60, and 70's. Before the advent of AIDs. We screwed for fun then, why not now? Geez. Now to fall in love and share your heart, soul and body... now that is a great gift. One that we all would love to have.

Men dont' have the corner on the market for being "in need" at times. Women just don't talk about it as much, because its easier for us to "solve the problem" :)

(put that in your pipe and smoke it..lol)



I agree with you completely.I lived in Montreal till 77.Discos....everybody had fun...that night.

Emotional attachment....that's a big maybe these days.

tbicon is living in a perfect world.Nobody else lives there.Maybe a few preachers.
 Mature1real
Joined: 6/19/2011
Msg: 160
We ARE Individuals
Posted: 6/12/2012 9:12:32 PM
There are legitimate reasons for someone to not post a photo. Teachers, cops, and similar jobs require some extra caution. The more they write about who they are the more likely they are to send a photo once they think you are legitimate.
 RDtoo
Joined: 1/30/2005
Msg: 161
view profile
History
We ARE Individuals
Posted: 6/13/2012 12:12:51 AM
As important as sex seems to be to everyone it amazes me that Christopher Reeves wife didn't divorce his butt when he became a parapalegic and no longer able to do the deed. Love kept it going not the sex. What were they, a couple of weirdos?? I believe you probably can have a sexual relationship without emotional involvement, you can also microwave a frozen pizza instead of ordering from a pizzeria. For me at least, the alternative in both cases is less than satisfying.
 livingwithadog
Joined: 7/11/2011
Msg: 162
Dating over 55
Posted: 6/13/2012 1:34:37 AM
What do women over 55 want? Wait. I'm not over 55... oh ... wtf... close enough: Be who you are. Be honest, upfront, don't attempt mind-reading, ask questions, figure it out together, agree to disagree, have mutual respect, brush your teeth & take showers, be sincere, compassionate... I daren't go on... Just be yourself. That's the way it works for me.
 tbicon
Joined: 5/6/2012
Msg: 163
Dating over 55/SOME women over 55 and on POF will enjoy sex while SOME couldn't give a rat's azz.
Posted: 6/13/2012 5:58:40 AM
tbicon is living in a perfect world.Nobody else lives there.Maybe a few preachers.


My opinion is not based on religion or even what society deems is moral behavior. I don't give a damn about that. My opinion is based on experience. The world you believe most people live in is a very unhappy, depressed world filled with sociopaths, narcissists, psychopaths and generally unhappy and unfulfilled people.. Besides, I am not saying sex for just sex sake is not good. What I am saying is in and of itself it is not nearly enough. But then, I always had high expectations for myself.

There is also a time and place for everything. I probably as much as any guy here had more than my fair share of women when I was younger. By middle age, after people have matured, I would hope that people would realize what is important in life. Many people don't apparently, and I am simply suggesting in the long run, these people are unhappy or at least far less happy than they could be.
 Ready_Real
Joined: 12/30/2010
Msg: 164
Dating over 55/SOME women over 55 and on POF will enjoy sex while SOME couldn't give a rat's azz.
Posted: 6/13/2012 7:07:51 AM

My opinion is not based on religion or even what society deems is moral behavior. I don't give a damn about that. My opinion is based on experience.


God (metaphorically speaking) knows: my Irish mum tried her damndest to raise a good Catholic girl, but in spite of her best efforts, I'm an atheist and probably have been an atheist for as long as I could think figuratively. This noted, my soon-to-be 59 years of living sadly but almost surely confirm the statement below:



The world . . . is a very unhappy, depressed world filled with sociopaths, narcissists, psychopaths and generally unhappy and unfulfilled people.


If I could figure out why the above is all too true (for the majority of people -- who granted are not among the estimated single-digit numbers of sociopaths but rather constitute the swarming ranks of the "unfulfilled" ) I'd bottle my conclusions, sell them, and buy myself 40 acres of pristine wilderness that borders a motorboat free lake where you could hear nothing but frogs' symphonies and loons' calls:) :) But I'm just a hopelessly simple human being: my life is mostly simple, and some would find it deader than a doorknob. People are always reaching for the unreachable, and therein lies the human paradox: it's our nature to strive for higher ground. It is this passion to better ourselves that fuels our fire human. But all too often we lose our personal balance along the way. We aim high, and then when we fall, we fall into despair, dysfunction, self-destruction, or a series of compromises where we settle for what we have or settle for what we can get because half a loaf is better than none, some sex is better than no sex, etc. etc. Or maybe even worse, we've endured childhoods of misery that have left us convinced we deserve very little beyond survival -- if that.


By middle age, after people have matured, I would hope that people would realize what is important in life. Many people don't apparently, and I am simply suggesting in the long run, these people are unhappy or at least far less happy than they could be. . .


Someone whom I love very recently walked away from a six figure income on Wall Street. He'd worked hard in school, dreamed of taking this high-paying position to make enough money to help his family and get a start on a small business which might help others in need. But the 100-120 hours of mind-numbing work tethered to computers and Smart phones were killing his soul, and the $700.00 bottles of wine conspicuously consumed at command performance late night client dinners at restaurants only a few blocks away from the graphic sights of homelessness in all its despair and crushing poverty were killing his conscience.

So he left. And spent 2 years working at a minimum wage job where he got educated in the school of America's working class poor whose unsung heroism in their struggle to make ends meet has made a lifelong impression on him. He will be entering law school and intends to go into public service law. Don't get me wrong: I'm certain that there are some exceptional people in the field that this particular Someone has just elected to leave (or in any field) whose 100 hour work weeks and $multimillion salaries have resulted in brilliant professional contributions to the world ---- and altruistic actions for the benefit of humanity at which most of us mere mortals can only gasp with awe, admiration, and gratitude. But this Someone is not one of these exceptional people in his initial field of opportunity, and upon recognizing this has decided to take another road (less travelled if you will and far less rewarding in many many ways deemed significant by the majority of our society). Those who love him are proud of what he has done to effect more personal balance in his life. And the music to their ears was heard last week when he said, "I'm happy. For the first time in a long time, I'm happy."

My point specific to this thread lies in the ever-present opportunity for each and every one of us to find our own balance by "realizing what is important" in our own personal lives. Don't we all deserve to be as happy as we can be? Shouldn't we all have "high expectations" for ourselves? I know. This all sounds great in theory.

But sometimes I think we make life unnecessarily harder than it has to be. Maybe it all begins and ends with digging deep down within ourselves as we figure out what we need to find that happiness. For most of us, "quick fixes" --- whether they be a pound of Lays potato chips every day or sex without love every other day ---- will not give us the happiness we deserve. And IMO it's not ultimately or exclusively about religion, morality, politics, or culture. Or at least it shouldn't be if we are to maximize our individual sense of worth ---- and hopefully find that icing on our cake (ok: make that our peanut butter in our celery stalks) called happiness.
 tbicon
Joined: 5/6/2012
Msg: 165
Dating over 55/SOME women over 55 and on POF will enjoy sex while SOME couldn't give a rat's azz.
Posted: 6/13/2012 8:21:48 AM

He will be entering law school and intends to go into public service law


I wish him the best Ready. Keep in mind that many who begin law school do so with great ideals of what they want to do with their life. But the crushing debt load of all too high tuition, fees, etc., and the nearly maniacal competition to get into the best and largest firms paying the best salaries lays waste to the best laid plans. He will need to be mature and sure of himself to fight all of those temptations. In the end, satisfaction with his life partner and satisfaction with his career will far outweigh the ability to earn in the high six figures as opposed to only the low six figures. Life partner comes first of course. May he find true love rather than just a sex partner.
 Ready_Real
Joined: 12/30/2010
Msg: 166
Dating over 55/SOME women over 55 and on POF will enjoy sex while SOME couldn't give a rat's azz.
Posted: 6/13/2012 8:32:45 AM
Thank u, tbicon. He earned a full scholarship. Sometimes you work hard, you work harder, you keep on trying even when life beats you down once, twice, and three times. And maybe just maybe, you'll get what you deserve:)
 Paddy_o_Lantern
Joined: 5/24/2012
Msg: 167
Dating over 55/SOME women over 55 and on POF will enjoy sex while SOME couldn't give a rat's azz.
Posted: 6/13/2012 8:33:16 AM
Why would you assume he is wanting to return to his quest for a high salary at the expense of everything else. A small city/ town Lawyer ( and I have a few of them as friends ) can have a good standard of living ( it's all about living where you can afford to ) with time to enjoy family and friends doing work that they do not find leaves them emotionally and mentally drained. From what Ready described I would be surprised if he is hell bent on returning to the Rat Race after taking a time out to reflect on what is important in his life.
 Ready_Real
Joined: 12/30/2010
Msg: 168
Dating over 55/SOME women over 55 and on POF will enjoy sex while SOME couldn't give a rat's azz.
Posted: 6/13/2012 8:37:16 AM
you got it, Dino. He is not at all questing for a high salary. Not at the expense of every other part of his life's needs.
(Not that is somebody handed him a fortune, he'd walk away -- but again, it's all about balance -- and had he stayed in initially chosen field even for a few years, the money would have made even the highest legal field salaries relatively low by comparison.)
He's not that kind of person with those kinds of needs. And yes: he also is not interested in FWB's or casual sex. Nor will he likely change his views on this at 45+. We are who we are. And hopefully, we continue to learn Who We Are, and try to get what we deserve by way of fulfillment and happiness long term and more lasting:)
 ladywyatt
Joined: 6/28/2007
Msg: 169
Dating over 55
Posted: 6/13/2012 9:11:12 AM
MountHeartbreak...A 31 year old male making assumptions about 55 year old women eh......

Not all of us are all about the money

Did you not learn about assuming?
 tbicon
Joined: 5/6/2012
Msg: 170
Dating over 55/SOME women over 55 and on POF will enjoy sex while SOME couldn't give a rat's azz.
Posted: 6/13/2012 9:13:59 AM
I am not assuming that, I simply know what law school does to many people who enter it. You need to remember, you are dealing with hyper- competitive people, and it is hard to not allow your peers to have a significant influence. In law, unfortunately, how successful you are is often judged by the amount of money you earn. The mature know that is not the most important thing, but in law school . . and in the practice of law, that is often how the game is played. But I agree a thousand percent. Practicing law in a smaller town as opposed to a large city is probably more likely to lead to career satisfaction and a higher quality of life. . in the long run.
 browneyesboo
Joined: 5/19/2005
Msg: 171
Dating over 55
Posted: 6/13/2012 9:18:38 AM
I didn't read all the other replies. Just the OP.
I think you have to build up a repoire with people
before you start asking them stuff like this. Or, you have
to know there was an instant MUTUAL attraction.

I can take most anything, including clumsy attempts, from
someone I'm attracted to, but someone I'm really not...it
just comes off as creepy.

You really have to know your audience. I think perhaps you
don't, and I'm also thinking you have the same problem as a
lot of us older people. You're not going to be having people
passing out at your feet over your good looks. That means you
need some other ammuntion.

If you're really into someone, and the feelings are mutual, clumsy
becomes a funny tale you remember when asked how did you guys
meet.
 browneyesboo
Joined: 5/19/2005
Msg: 172
Dating over 55
Posted: 6/13/2012 9:29:02 AM

Boy OP, that's an easy one. They want attention, they want to be loved, they want their egos stroked, they want good sex, and they want it all with a guy to whom they are attracted to. This list is by no means all inclusive, but it hits the basics.


I just went back and read the thread where it veered off topic. I agree with the above.
I want that, and I want someone who wants that from me.

Most people can get everything but the sex from their friends and family, but people like
me want it all. I'm not necessarily opposed to one night stands or casual sex, but I'd rather
have an emotional attachment and commitment to just one person.
 nativerock
Joined: 10/16/2010
Msg: 173
Dating over 55/SOME women over 55 and on POF will enjoy sex while SOME couldn't give a rat's azz.
Posted: 6/13/2012 11:36:26 AM

Native, two people having sex with one another year after year are in a relationship, whether they like it or not. It may not be an exclusive relationship . . but as long as your friends have lasted, a pretty damn good relationship. As for the green monster, it is unlikely either one would admit to the other that the monster has reared its head, or maybe it truly hasn't because they are content with the security knowing the other one will always be there for them. They probably even love each other, although they might not recognize this on a conscious level.


In all honesty only know one of these woman intimate enough for her to share intimate details with me..They both have love hate kind of relationship. He once asked her how does it feel making love to someone that will never love you? So she replied about the same as it makes you feel I would imagine?

However obviously she was upset as his comment because she shared it with me and let me tell you she was let us say miffed about it.. Not sure about if they do love one another on a subconscious level.. I just believe what she told me they are both hedonistic. So like attracts like?
 tbicon
Joined: 5/6/2012
Msg: 174
Dating over 55/SOME women over 55 and on POF will enjoy sex while SOME couldn't give a rat's azz.
Posted: 6/13/2012 12:57:53 PM
Well the guy sounds like he is "psychologically damaged" for sure. As for her, whose fault is it that she has been having sex with a guy year after year who tells her he doesn't love her? What the heck is wrong with this woman? This goes beyond hedonism, but more to masochism. Neither of them are of sound mind if you ask me.
 natgoat227
Joined: 6/10/2012
Msg: 175
view profile
History
Dating over 55
Posted: 6/13/2012 3:09:47 PM
Yeah..yeh yeh yehyehyehyeh.....
I try to make a point of Intentionally Avoiding any sexual discussion...till She can't stand it anymore, and asks:
"We've been talking all this time and Not Once have you brought up S e x . . . Why..??"
*BAM!!* There goes the Worms..!!!
(What? No -Moties..??)
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