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 Bazinga_42
Joined: 1/10/2012
Msg: 40
Advice on getting responses from good looking womenPage 2 of 9    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9)

Young attractive women have the following men lining up:
- Men much more attractive than you
- Men with more than an Associates Degree by your age
- Men without highly visible tattoos


This is the kind of woman you don't want to attract OP. This sounds like the kind of woman that I try to avoid at all costs. This is the kind of woman that marries a man solely based on social status and doesn't know how to love a person.

I know plenty of people that are highly successful with only an Associates (or no degree at all, but because they are good at what they do) and your tattoos express yourself as an individual. If your tattoos meant a lot to you when you got them, then show them off proudly. The woman you should be with will like you for you, if you had the tattoos or not.
 Gwendolyn2010
Joined: 1/22/2006
Msg: 41
Advice on getting responses from good looking women
Posted: 6/8/2012 8:32:28 PM

This is the kind of woman that marries a man solely based on social status and doesn't know how to love a person.


Let's consider this . . . the OP is fine in seeking out women based solely on their looks, but a woman who wants an attractive man with an education doesn't know how to love a person?

Really? Why doesn't the OP seek out less attractive women? He is just as shallow, eh?
 Pinky127
Joined: 1/7/2012
Msg: 42
Advice on getting responses from good looking women
Posted: 6/8/2012 9:00:17 PM

cowboy has been nailing it in this thread


I so agree.......especially this bit
Guys WAY WAY over rate how hawt they look here it seems. If I had a nickle for every very average looking guy on POF that thought he way pretty good looking
....
Im lining up for my tequila shot now,Cowboy!
These average looking guys would do so much better on here im sure if they were more realistic and concentrated on the average looking girls as opposed to the hotties who they'd have zero chance with.
And,to the Poster mentioning about women and $$$$..........gawd,this gets old.
And,boo,you are an attractive gal!
 Bazinga_42
Joined: 1/10/2012
Msg: 43
Advice on getting responses from good looking women
Posted: 6/8/2012 9:20:09 PM

Let's consider this . . . the OP is fine in seeking out women based solely on their looks, but a woman who wants an attractive man with an education doesn't know how to love a person?

Really? Why doesn't the OP seek out less attractive women? He is just as shallow, eh?


He is being a bit shallow. I just did not like raina-kd's post. There is nothing wrong with wanting an attractive mate. However attractive is different for everyone. The fact that she generalized that having tattoos is considered unattractive to all women is very a biased opinion. Also stating the fact that people with only a certain type of degree, or lack thereof, implies that a person is not educated is very narrow minded. I only have an associates however, that doesn't mean that anyone with a higher level degree is automatically smarter than myself . I have met plenty of people with degrees well beyond mine, and I realized that I was actually more informative than a lot of them. I even tutored a kid in high school for a math class that now has a PhD :)
 ohenryx
Joined: 3/12/2010
Msg: 44
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Advice on getting responses from good looking women
Posted: 6/8/2012 9:44:12 PM
I work with a beautiful young woman, 27 years old. Drop dead gorgeous, beautiful face, extremely long, beautiful hair, and a body that will stop traffic on a busy thoroughfare. When she has her profile not hidden, and her pictures up, she gets 40 or 50 initial messages per day. So yes, that does happen. But I think it only happens to the very young women. I have never known a woman over 50 who claimed to get boat loads of messages.

I was going to say something about the “even tutored a kid” post, but it’s embarrassing enough without me chiming in.

And browneyesboo, you are "quite good looking". On the outside, and the inside, and we all love you here.
 Extollere
Joined: 2/21/2012
Msg: 45
Advice on getting responses from good looking women
Posted: 6/8/2012 10:05:40 PM

- Men without highly visible tattoos


Chances are that young attractive women with highly visible tattoos wouldn't worry about this so much.
 Bazinga_42
Joined: 1/10/2012
Msg: 46
Advice on getting responses from good looking women
Posted: 6/8/2012 10:45:52 PM

I was going to say something about the “even tutored a kid” post, but it’s embarrassing enough without me chiming in.


Please, don't be so bashful. We speak our minds in the forums. If my English writing is sub-par, I do not mind being told so. I must admit that writing perfect structured sentences have never been my strong point. I have always been more of a creative and free writing sort of guy. I was pretty alright at math too :)
 MustangGirl1965
Joined: 3/9/2012
Msg: 47
Advice on getting responses from good looking women
Posted: 6/8/2012 11:30:28 PM
Do you think you're good looking OP? What makes you believe that women agree with you? Why are you aiming for women you won't have a hope of attracting?

I'm really trying to be kind and honest - you are average looking. Not unpleasant, not ugly but certainly not good looking either.

I've been approached by many men I'd consider average looking and that's fine. It's the plain, the ugly and the ones who just aren't my picture of who I'm looking for which seem to be the most arrogant and the most insulted when told they're not my type. Why is it that women often under-estimate how attractive they are while men do the opposite? I don't think I'm beautiful but have been told that by many attractive men, including several working actors and models. So I suppose they have something there because I'm fairly sure they wouldn't date me if they thought I was too plain or unattractive.

Age - also a factor - I'm 47 but I neither feel it nor act it. So I aim for men between 35 and 55 yrs old. That's my preference. I don't have kids and don't want any of my own. I don't mind if the man I'm with has kids of his own as long as we get time together too. And believe me, most 20-something women are still girls and the last thing on their minds today is having kids and getting married in their 20's. So increase your upper age limit and you may find a bit more success. Change the way you view yourself, aim for the slightly less attractive women, and you may find you receive more interest. The caption on your main picture is not helpful either, just saying!
 RandomFish123
Joined: 5/30/2012
Msg: 48
Advice on getting responses from good looking women
Posted: 6/9/2012 12:41:05 AM
OP, a lot of guys complain about not getting replies from women here period. ... Let's not even talk about replies from the "good looking women". Just women.

 Texan_Gal
Joined: 10/22/2011
Msg: 49
Advice on getting responses from good looking women
Posted: 6/9/2012 7:10:32 AM

This is the kind of woman you don't want to attract OP. This sounds like the kind of woman that I try to avoid at all costs. This is the kind of woman that marries a man solely based on social status and doesn't know how to love a person.

I know plenty of people that are highly successful with only an Associates (or no degree at all, but because they are good at what they do) and your tattoos express yourself as an individual. If your tattoos meant a lot to you when you got them, then show them off proudly. The woman you should be with will like you for you, if you had the tattoos or not.

lol. I didn't even say what MY type is. I said what type of guy he has to compete against for the young attractive women. I'm saying most women with a choice will choose the guy who's more attractive, better educated (whether that actually means he's smarter or not), and depending on preference, more "presentable". Basically he needs to be more realistic because there's a ton of competition and a TON of guys just like him knocking down the doors of the above-average women.
 Gwendolyn2010
Joined: 1/22/2006
Msg: 50
Advice on getting responses from good looking women
Posted: 6/9/2012 7:50:06 AM

He is being a bit shallow. I just did not like raina-kd's post.


Perhaps you should temper your replies in a less biased way.


I have met plenty of people with degrees well beyond mine, and I realized that I was actually more informative than a lot of them. I even tutored a kid in high school for a math class that now has a PhD :)


Some people with an AA will go on to get a higher degree--I did. However, from teaching at a community college for nine years, I know that the majority of students will not go on to get advanced degrees. Many of them lack the ability/intelligence to do so.

I know a lot of people who are "informative," but they don't know a lot.

There is nothing shallow about wanting to meet people who have a similar level of education.


40 or 50 initial messages per day. So yes, that does happen. But I think it only happens to the very young women.


When I first enrolled on this site years ago, I was in my early 50s. I got loads of initial emails--so I lay claim to "boatloads" of emails. Since then, they have slowed down because there is just not a large pool in my town/general area. I have met or rejected most of the men without meeting them. Younger women will get more emails because the range of men who contact them is wider--they get the old farts and the young goats. I have gotten a fair share of emails from the young crowd, but not as many as from the old farts. Also, there are more younger men than older men on dating sites. In my area (on profiles with pictures), there are 45 men from ages 60-65, 110 men from ages 50-55, 312 men ages 30-35, and 491 men 20-25. A young woman who gets 50 emails a day from local guys will run through the crowd quickly. A woman my age will run through the 60-65 crowd in a day.
 SunshineAngel99
Joined: 10/13/2010
Msg: 52
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History
Advice on getting responses from good looking women
Posted: 6/9/2012 8:39:09 AM
I like that! That is old school. ^^^
 Extollere
Joined: 2/21/2012
Msg: 54
Advice on getting responses from good looking women
Posted: 6/9/2012 9:09:12 AM

Do you think you're good looking OP? What makes you believe that women agree with you? Why are you aiming for women you won't have a hope of attracting?


I'm curious how you know who would or wouldn't be attracted to him. Attraction can come from any angle, really. It's not always about having a perfectly proportioned and aligned nose, having eyes spaced just the right distance apart, having a chin of a certain size, or eyebrows of a certain width. It's entirely subjective and good luck trying to get anyone to agree on a set standard of beauty that applies across the board.

Beyond that, we have absolutely no idea who he is messaging and what how their facial features are arranged. We don't know how they prefer facial features to be arranged on men they're attracted to, either.

Really all we can advise him on is how to get noticed by women, period. Some of you seem to think he's messaging pageant models or something. I kind of see him going for the alternative goth/rock type, perhaps with a bit of cyberpunk flair. I used to hang out with guys that looked similar to him (fashion-wise) when I was stomping around in the industrial club scene. His choice of music isn't exactly mainstream. I'm kind of doubting his choice of women would be, either.

Sorry to talk about you like you aren't here, OP. Feel free to tell me if I'm way off base.
 Bazinga_42
Joined: 1/10/2012
Msg: 55
Advice on getting responses from good looking women
Posted: 6/9/2012 11:14:39 AM

Perhaps you should temper your replies in a less biased way.


If you actually read and understood my message in reply to Raina-kd's then you would see that my post is not biased what so ever. The point of my message was that attraction is different for every single person. That is a fact, not an opinion.


I'm curious how you know who would or wouldn't be attracted to him. Attraction can come from any angle, really. It's not always about having a perfectly proportioned and aligned nose, having eyes spaced just the right distance apart, having a chin of a certain size, or eyebrows of a certain width. It's entirely subjective and good luck trying to get anyone to agree on a set standard of beauty that applies across the board.


Thank you Extollere, that is the kind of point I was trying to make. I agree with you 100%.


Some people with an AA will go on to get a higher degree--I did. However, from teaching at a community college for nine years, I know that the majority of students will not go on to get advanced degrees. Many of them lack the ability/intelligence to do so.


That is the kind of attitude a teacher should not have. If I had a teacher in college that had a similar outlook on his/her students, I would transfer classes in a heartbeat. You shouldn't think that students lack ability or intelligence, but they may lack the motivation or passion. There are a lot of people with an "average" IQ that go on to receive a Master's in their focused field. Does not mean they are more intelligent in the sense of the word, but because they really had a passion for what they were going for. There are a lot of people that are extremely gifted intellectually and don't have a degree, obviously not because they couldn't get one, but because they just don't know what they want to use their gift for.


lol. I didn't even say what MY type is. I said what type of guy he has to compete against for the young attractive women. I'm saying most women with a choice will choose the guy who's more attractive, better educated (whether that actually means he's smarter or not), and depending on preference, more "presentable". Basically he needs to be more realistic because there's a ton of competition and a TON of guys just like him knocking down the doors of the above-average women.


I understand what you are saying and I apologize if you felt attacked by my last post. People generalize attractive and presentable, and I can not blame them. Media and old traditions have shaped our minds to perceive these words with a very distinct image. We are shaped to believe that more attractive means closer to looking like Brad Pitt. This guy looks more like this celebrity than this other guy therefore he is more attractive. This guy wears this therefore he must be a more serious person. I am not saying that you personally think this way, but that is the truth to a lot of people.

There is a newer commercial that I really like that is on television now. It is a young kid at a bus stop and he looks like your typical skater punk kid. He is sitting next to an elderly black lady, who happens to get on the bus, but forgot her purse on the bench. You see the kid grab the purse and take off. He runs to the next bus stop to hand the purse to the elderly lady and said, "You forgot this." Now the overall message was just to be a good person. What I like about the commercial is that they used a kid that has an alternative appearance showed that what people see on the outside does not show who they are on the inside. I hope we continue to see this in the future to come.
 jmark4
Joined: 7/3/2011
Msg: 56
Advice on getting responses from good looking women
Posted: 6/9/2012 11:29:29 AM

The fact is as much as you will hear women say that they don't care how much money a guy has, the fact is, the good looking ones do. They do care. A lot.

Get the money, get the women you want.


women love money and looks. You dont see halle barry and jennifer aniston dating store clerks.
 Gwendolyn2010
Joined: 1/22/2006
Msg: 57
Advice on getting responses from good looking women
Posted: 6/9/2012 12:48:30 PM

If you actually read and understood my message in reply to Raina-kd's then you would see that my post is not biased what so ever. The point of my message was that attraction is different for every single person. That is a fact, not an opinion.


Perhaps it is not my reading ability that is the problem; perhaps it is your ability to express yourself.


That is the kind of attitude a teacher should not have. If I had a teacher in college that had a similar outlook on his/her students, I would transfer classes in a heartbeat. You shouldn't think that students lack ability or intelligence, but they may lack the motivation or passion. There are a lot of people with an "average" IQ that go on to receive a Master's in their focused field. Does not mean they are more intelligent in the sense of the word, but because they really had a passion for what they were going for. There are a lot of people that are extremely gifted intellectually and don't have a degree, obviously not because they couldn't get one, but because they just don't know what they want to use their gift for.


Funny, my students like me, I have a good rating by them, and they tend to take more than one class from me; just as you jumped to conclusions about what another poster said, you assume certain aspects of my pedagogy. I can tell when a student lacks intelligence as opposed to when a student lacks motivation or passion. Every semester, I see students who should not be in college--and for several reasons. One is because they do lack motivation: they are in school because their parents tell them that they should be. Others simply lack cognitive abilities yet want to pursue higher levels of education--they won't make it. There are nine types of intelligences, so I also have students who excel in repairing cars but not in writing. They get through the class without worrying about an "A" because the grade will not help them in their chosen fields. Note: some of these people are geniuses in their fields and they offer a much needed service.

I have seen brilliant students who will not accomplish much in life because they lack motivation; some young ones will develop motivation and come back to school when they are more mature. Passion will only carry a person so far if he/she does not have the ability to excel in his/her field.

I have been on YOUR side of the desk, but you have not been on mine. When you have a couple of decades experience in teaching, then tell me my business.

Sorry of the off-topic ramble.
 RedDelPaPa
Joined: 5/21/2011
Msg: 58
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Advice on getting responses from good looking women
Posted: 6/9/2012 1:06:05 PM
In my opinion, something smells funny about physically very attractive women who get out of their house once per week, even using a dating site. Men chase attractive women. These ladies should have 5 to 10 possible mates every time they make a social outing. I think we can be reasonably sure that these women are not here to date per-say, unless they find a Brad Pitt or George Clooney on here. But rather here for the messages, entertainment, and ego boost.

It's bizarre to me how low some of these gorgeous women think of themselves though. Their clothes are never good enough, heels never high enough, bodies not thin enough, skin not tan enough, and breasts not big enough.
 Bazinga_42
Joined: 1/10/2012
Msg: 59
Advice on getting responses from good looking women
Posted: 6/9/2012 1:12:46 PM

Perhaps it is not my reading ability that is the problem; perhaps it is your ability to express yourself.


I don't question your reading ability, it is the ability to comprehend what you have that I was questioning. There is a big difference. As you can see, I have no problem with expressing myself. I tend to speak my mind, even when it was not necessarily requested of me.


Funny, my students like me, I have a good rating by them, and they tend to take more than one class from me.


Being well liked is different than being a good educator. I apologize, because I do not know you in person. You could very well be a great teacher IRL.


Others simply lack cognitive abilities yet want to pursue higher levels of education--they won't make it.


Some people come from some pretty poor schools. Some schools just did not have the means to provide an education that equals others. The kids that come from less fortunate schools come into college behind. Doesn't mean they don't have what it takes to get their bachelor's or master's. It will just take some more time because their "start" line was further back than other people.


I have been on YOUR side of the desk, but you have not been on mine. When you have a couple of decades experience in teaching, then tell me my business.


I am not (trying) telling you your business. Sometimes even a teacher can learn something new.

You are right about one thing at least...we have steered off course.
 Pinky127
Joined: 1/7/2012
Msg: 60
Advice on getting responses from good looking women
Posted: 6/9/2012 8:12:51 PM

It's bizarre to me how low some of these gorgeous women think of themselves though.


^^^ I so agree with you,RedDelpaPa!!
It always seems that women underestimate their looks,etc and yet so many men here OVERestimate their attractiveness and will tell you how attractive they are,lol.
Its such a subjective thing and up to others to decide
 Gwendolyn2010
Joined: 1/22/2006
Msg: 62
Advice on getting responses from good looking women
Posted: 6/9/2012 8:31:07 PM

Women, generally are attracted to confidence and success (which also breeds confidence).


There is also such a thing as overbearing "confidence."


Plus I think everyone knows there's plenty of fugly guys out there with hot wives.


I don't know any--how many do you know? Of them, how many of the men have money?


Realistically speaking, if you have your front teeth and they aren't a mess, you don't have have atrocious features and you're in decent shape that's plenty good enough for most women providing the other key elements are there that they are looking for.


Then why are you getting so many rejections?


While I've been getting bashed on here an awful lot for my looks, I have been told my whole life that I'm at least a point above average... I also accept that people on the internet are far more ravenous and judgmental than they are in real life due to their anonymity.


And I have been told that I am gorgeous, beautiful, sexy, pretty, cute, outstanding--by men online and in real life. I take those adjectives with a grain of salt. We all open ourselves to judgement, eh?


That's a crappy value judgement and I at no point stated "solely on looks"


This was my point about the "balanced" remark--the desire for attractive comes first. However, I was making a point to the young man who was upset because another poster made a remark that he took as a personal insult.


Would you suggest I date someone I found unattractive?


Nope, but if you make a woman feel that is all you seek, most will not be responsive.
 scifichicky
Joined: 2/12/2012
Msg: 65
Advice on getting responses from good looking women
Posted: 6/9/2012 9:36:01 PM
Filly, this is just one of the many type I was referencing...
 Extollere
Joined: 2/21/2012
Msg: 72
Advice on getting responses from good looking women
Posted: 6/9/2012 11:08:31 PM

I'm not after specifically "rock" chicks, but I do know that some women aren't going to like tattoos, but others will... it's not really for me to decide. A lot of the people here think I'm chasing dragons or something, but I really don't think that's the case.


Okay so I was mostly right. :) Minus the rock part. Teehee, just kidding. I get it. I know what you're going through. Music is kind of a huge thing for me, so I've always gone through something similar when dating. The "good looking" part aside (as again, that's entirely subjective), it can be a royal pain in the butt meeting local available men who just so happen to be into industrial/metal music & concerts. Outside of the club scene that is. Been thinking about getting into that again, but that means dusting off the old gear and commuting all over the state again, blah! So, I get where you're coming from.

So if I'm understanding you correctly, her appearance (in terms of fashion style, not attractiveness) doesn't seem to matter too much. You just want someone compatible with similar interests (some of which are not mainstream) who is pleasant to look at. Nothing wrong with that at all.

Have you tried/thought of trying Meetup.com? Not sure if you're into the club scene, but there are some good groups there for club-goers, concert-goers, and since you're into music production, you might find some groups for music collaboration. Lots of art and design-based groups, too. Been thinking of trying this route myself. Certainly beats slinking up to the men at work saying "Soooo...heard any good Meshuggah lately?!"
 RedDelPaPa
Joined: 5/21/2011
Msg: 77
view profile
History
Advice on getting responses from good looking women
Posted: 6/10/2012 12:07:13 AM
AKK, your suit pic looks sharp cupcake. Now if you can rock that bass like Les Claypool, you'll be in business. BTW, my name is Mud. :-)
 Lionesse19
Joined: 3/30/2012
Msg: 78
Advice on getting responses from good looking women
Posted: 6/10/2012 12:40:56 AM
As for women getting 100 emails a day. I doubt that, maybe at first as a newbie. However good looking women in general dont have to be on a dating site unless they like to play the numbers game.

What you experience is normal and you have huge competition as I am sure you know. It is not really you. Just the way it is. WOmen are very cautious and rightly so.

Some men have done dozens of first meets, maybe get another date, maybe not, and I know a woman who has met 100 men, to no avail.

But I would get better pics, lose the sunglasses shot and get a clear smiling full length pic loaded and lose the unclear obscure ones.

 scifichicky
Joined: 2/12/2012
Msg: 80
Advice on getting responses from good looking women
Posted: 6/10/2012 1:57:15 AM

AKK, your suit pic looks sharp cupcake.


OMG, you are killing me here... LOVE that you called him cupcake! bahahahahah
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