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 thepigofyourdreams
Joined: 2/23/2012
Msg: 117
Advice on getting responses from good looking womenPage 4 of 9    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9)

So why the interest in what A-K-K's exact standards are? I'm afraid to ask what's next. Maybe having him provide a list of usernames and profile links he's targeting to help put him down some more.

Okay, we get it, he's not smoking hot to you and you find him self-centered. Great. Can we move past that now and focus on providing him with some more helpful, positive suggestions to his original question? Please?


Yeah, really. I can't help but wonder why a woman who finds him so terribly unappealing gives a shit about his opinions, preferences, or communicating any further with him.

Rather peculiar.
 Halcyon_Skies
Joined: 2/1/2009
Msg: 118
Advice on getting responses from good looking women
Posted: 6/12/2012 1:14:49 PM


Then please cite examples of women in the media that you think are attractive so we can get a better idea of what you mean by "good-looking women".


Why in the world should he have to do this? Guys ask this question every day around here and yet for some reason he's got to define what's attractive by rattling off a list of celebrities?

His question, again, is how to increase his response rate and gain more replies from women he finds good-looking. That's it. Same question we get around here every day. I can bet the others who ask this same thing are also trying to get responses from women they find good-looking. I doubt they'd be too concerned if women they weren't attracted to at all ignored their messages.


I think the OP needs to define these women further, because he didn't start a thread asking how to increase his response rate from women he found attractive---instead, he asked specifically how to attract "good-looking women".

The OP lamented that he was not getting any responses from any good-looking women he contacted, despite his not being a bad-looking guy. When it was suggested to him by several posters that he was only average-looking and needed to be more realistic, he insisted to these posters that he was indeed handsome and had successfully dated good-looking women in the past.

He later amended his position to state the women didn't have to be "Miss America" and only had to be attractive to him personally---which is very vague. If these women's looks are roughly on a par with his own (give or take a point), then I think the advice given to the OP would be different.

Someone said earlier in the thread that if these "good-looking women" are consistently rejecting the OP because they don't find him physically attractive, there is nothing he can do to change that fact---and he would be best served to seek out women who are not quite as attractive. I happen to agree with this sentiment.

If on the other hand, he is getting rejected by ALL women he contacts---including those he deems as slightly above average, or average in appearance---then he is likely getting rejected for reasons other than his looks, e.g. women could be having issues with his profile or the content of his messages. It's for this reason that I think it would be helpful to get a rough idea of the attractiveness level of the women he is contacting.
 Bazinga_42
Joined: 1/10/2012
Msg: 120
Advice on getting responses from good looking women
Posted: 6/12/2012 1:27:55 PM

Someone said earlier in the thread that if these "good-looking women" are consistently rejecting the OP because they don't find him physically attractive, there is nothing he can do to change that fact---and he would be best served to seek out women who are not quite as attractive. I happen to agree with this sentiment.


Attractive according to the masses...nevermind.I don't think I can explain this again, lol. Extollere seems to be the only other one on the same level.

OP, it is clear according to the majority, you clearly are looking to date a supermodel because that is the only version of attraction that anybody seems to grasp. You have to settle with an "ugly" woman. Life will be easier for you if you just accept this :P
 _shakti_
Joined: 7/5/2011
Msg: 121
Advice on getting responses from good looking women
Posted: 6/12/2012 1:50:16 PM
Adam:
Obviously you don't get much play from women. If you do, then they are using you for your money if you have much of it. I am not try to be mean, you meant well by trying to give the guy advice. However, that mentality is pathetic!!!
I'm willing to bet he doubles the amount of attention you get.. and it's got nothing to do with lamborghini's in the background of photos.
 SunshineAngel99
Joined: 10/13/2010
Msg: 122
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History
Advice on getting responses from good looking women
Posted: 6/12/2012 2:06:36 PM
Adulthood is the big leagues. So even average guys can date the super hot women. Apparently many women in this thread are in disbelief on how that is even possible...heh...the little green monsters are coming out. :P
 RandomFish123
Joined: 5/30/2012
Msg: 123
Advice on getting responses from good looking women
Posted: 6/12/2012 2:11:55 PM

The OP lamented that he was not getting any responses from any good-looking women he contacted, despite his not being a bad-looking guy. When it was suggested to him by several posters that he was only average-looking and needed to be more realistic, he insisted to these posters that he was indeed handsome and had successfully dated good-looking women in the past.



^^^^ Didn't take time to read each & every post in this thread but if this is the case (bolded) .. I wonder why OP just doesn't simply use the same method of whatever he did in the past to attract & date good-looking women? ...

Ohh .. so you mean online dating is different? .... YEAP. ...

*News flash OP: Thousands of men, every single day on POF, have the same exact problem you do too OP.

I'd also like to think may if not most of us (male or female) want to find a partner who is good-looking IN OUR EYES too. Nothing new there.


Not sure of you have watched this or not ... its on your edit page -

POF.com Advice Series for men - How-to improve your profile:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=veLxi9O5u9c


Adulthood is the big leagues. So even average guys can date the super hot women. Apparently many women in this thread are in disbelief on how that is even possible...heh...the little green monsters are coming out. :P


Perhaps you can offer OP some advice different from what the masses has already offered then.
 SunshineAngel99
Joined: 10/13/2010
Msg: 124
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History
Advice on getting responses from good looking women
Posted: 6/12/2012 2:28:12 PM
The only advice I would offer is that he should continue to be himself. Being called average is actually a compliment because that is the holy grail of the dating world for men and women. I wish women would call me average. *cries*

The OP also has the ideal height for what most women seek, has a stable occupation, and is single. His approach is good given it is all about trial and error (most women don't understand this point of view).

I will say to land an "attractive" woman it is all about sincerity, so ensure you set up a meet up with a woman as soon as possible to generate a real life connection and chemistry.
 Extollere
Joined: 2/21/2012
Msg: 125
Advice on getting responses from good looking women
Posted: 6/12/2012 3:29:03 PM

I think the OP needs to define these women further...


I really don't think he "needs" to do anything. In fact, I'm hoping he won't respond at all and instead let this thread fade quietly into obscurity.


When it was suggested to him by several posters that he was only average-looking and needed to be more realistic, he insisted to these posters that he was indeed handsome and had successfully dated good-looking women in the past.


Oh well if several say it's so I guess there's no need for further opinion. Let's just scribble "average" on his forehead. Or, maybe we could remember that everyone's got different taste. It doesn't matter what we here think. It only matters what the women he's messaging think. But since we're throwing our own personal opinions of the OP out here, I'll add mine to the mix. I do not think he's anywhere near below-average. I could easily see "good-looking women" going for him for a variety of reasons and it looks as though he can wear the hell out of a nice suit. But since I don't have "several posters" agreeing with me, my opinion might not count for much. And good on him for insisting he's handsome. I'd hate to think what the hostility against him would do to his self-esteem were he not the least bit confident in himself.


If on the other hand, he is getting rejected by ALL women he contacts---including those he deems as slightly above average, or average in appearance---then he is likely getting rejected for reasons other than his looks, e.g. women could be having issues with his profile or the content of his messages. It's for this reason that I think it would be helpful to get a rough idea of the attractiveness level of the women he is contacting.


While I do understand your point right here, I don't find having a rough idea of who in the media he's jonesing after to be necessary in order to give him advice. I managed to offer him a few ideas as well as a couple of places offline he can try and I surely don't know who his favorite celebrities are. I can't recall seeing that ever asked of anyone in the similar threads on this topic that I've read. It just doesn't sound very productive. Judging from the behavior I've seen in here, I think the OP is better off keeping his mouth shut on this one. It would only open him up to further negativity and I think he's been given enough of that as it is.

Despite the recap (thank you), I'm just not seeing what was so offensive about anything he said. I surely don't see enough to warrant 6 pages (give or take) of posts putting down his appearance. The shock and awe surrounding the idea that this "below-average guy" could dare find himself "attractive" is really disturbing. If anything is truly unattractive in here, it's the way the OP has been treated. Terrible.


The only advice I would offer is that he should continue to be himself.


Ditto.
 SunshineAngel99
Joined: 10/13/2010
Msg: 128
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Advice on getting responses from good looking women
Posted: 6/12/2012 8:13:52 PM
Attraction is based mainly on confidence that is exuded as well physical apperance. Women that are high in self confidence tend to describe themselves as attractive. These women have climbed the hurdle of social conditioning where they are barraged that they are average and women on magazine covers are attractive. Why don't men have this problem? Because they are not conditioned and shaped by media to think this way. This is why even average guys think they are hot stuff. I think I am hot stuff lol take that jaded ladies posting in this thread.
 Halcyon_Skies
Joined: 2/1/2009
Msg: 130
Advice on getting responses from good looking women
Posted: 6/13/2012 7:56:32 AM

Then suggest things, like I asked in the beginning, that might amend the problem. Do you see something on my profile, that maybe doesn't strike you as well, but if you were the target audience, would it bother you? How would you improve it?


As others suggested, you need new photos; and it wouldn't hurt to update your look. For starters, you could have your hair professionally cut and styled, and get more current eye wear. I wouldn't mention in your profile that you want an attractive woman. It's fine to say that you want a woman who is in shape---as long as YOU are in shape.

Your first date suggestion of sushi and coffee doesn't sound very appetizing---those two foods don't belong in the same sentence. Plus, what if the woman isn't a coffee drinker or doesn't eat raw fish? Suggest meeting for a drink, or perhaps lunch, but don't mention specific foods for the first date.


Maybe a guy sent you an awesome message that got you interested... what about that message made you interested?


Personally, I preferred to receive messages that focused on my hobbies and interests. My partner talked about our mutual interest in aviation in his opening message. Don't describe yourself---that's what your profile is for. I had a 50-character minimum to discourage two or three-word messages referencing physical appearance.


These are the things I have asked about... not what kind of woman I am looking for, because there isn't an exact answer. Lets say just for instance, this super model came on to me and wanted a relationship but she was a raving psycho **** 24/7... do you honestly think I'd stick around for that? Lets say a girl is only mildly attractive physically, but has a winning personality and her life together and is really into me... don't you think that might affect my judgement too?


Of course, however, you were asking about getting girls to respond to your messages in the first place---not assessing their personality once contact had already been established.


Attraction isn't just looks, DERP! Saying "ATTRACTIVE WOMEN" does not equal must be Ms. Universe... I don't know how many times I have to type that.


She might not have to be Ms. Universe, but if you're contacting girls that most guys would rate as an 8 or 9 on the attractiveness scale, that's most likely going to be where your main difficulty lies.
 CaptainA.D
Joined: 6/10/2012
Msg: 133
Advice on getting responses from good looking women
Posted: 6/14/2012 7:24:22 AM
I disagree with the poster above me. I've tried messeging women who i find attractive and end up with no luck. I been told im average looking and came to terms of accepting that. No attractive woman would go for an average guy, its solid proof for being on here. So, IRL, i will only approach a woman who is average and i just may have a remote chance
 Bazinga_42
Joined: 1/10/2012
Msg: 134
Advice on getting responses from good looking women
Posted: 6/14/2012 8:59:34 AM
I disagree with the poster above me. I've tried messeging women who i find attractive and end up with no luck. I been told im average looking and came to terms of accepting that. No attractive woman would go for an average guy, its solid proof for being on here. So, IRL, i will only approach a woman who is average and i just may have a remote chance.


Just so you know, girls here on POF are more picky when it comes to appearance that they are IRL. IRL you can use your charm, wit, and intelligence to make up for what you lack in appearance. So IRL go ahead and approach an "attractive" woman. If you actually have something to offer, they will usually give you the time of day. Here on POF I have been shot down by some pretty "attractive" women. However I don't let this bother me, because I have had more "attractive" women IRL show positive interest in me than a lot of the girls that don't give me the time of day here.
 CaptainA.D
Joined: 6/10/2012
Msg: 135
Advice on getting responses from good looking women
Posted: 6/14/2012 9:38:11 AM

Just so you know, girls here on POF are more picky when it comes to appearance that they are IRL. IRL you can use your charm, wit, and intelligence to make up for what you lack in appearance. So IRL go ahead and approach an "attractive" woman. If you actually have something to offer, they will usually give you the time of day. Here on POF I have been shot down by some pretty "attractive" women. However I don't let this bother me, because I have had more "attractive" women IRL show positive interest in me than a lot of the girls that don't give me the time of day here.

Well you probably make alot of $ too. Besides i dont know how to use charm
 RandomFish123
Joined: 5/30/2012
Msg: 136
Advice on getting responses from good looking women
Posted: 6/14/2012 11:31:38 AM
If the bottom line for you is the "good looking women" (in your eyes at least) then put your money where your mouth is and post a nice, clear headshot in your profile.

I mean c'mon you are emphasizing on LOOKS now aren't you? ... ... What makes you think these good-looking women don't want to have a guy whom they find attractive in their eyes too? (and the entire gist of what a lot of posters here have been saying all along! )



Your pics aren't bad (I've seen worse) but they could be better. The pic of you in the suit is nice but what's up with the shades?? .. and wearing it at night too??? ..... The pic with the cap/hat doesn't do you any favor either. (unless you wear your cap to sleep too? ) Personally I am sick of guys who wear baseball caps/hats and/or shades in their pics that makes me wonder -- what are they trying to hide?? ....

... The pic of you on stage is ok (shows what you like to do) but that's about it cos its blurry and poor lighting. .. your fourth pic is the best out of it all because it shows your face in good lighting. .. Got a bad haircut? ... scratch that pic then! ... It can't be that hard to get a nice, crisp clear up-to-date picture now is it??


Like attracts like. Be what you want to attract. Period.
 ChocoMamicita123
Joined: 7/3/2012
Msg: 138
Advice on getting responses from good looking women
Posted: 7/7/2012 1:11:47 PM
I have some speedy advice...stop sending out mails to women like they are job applications have something interesting to say be less robotic.

When a guy sends me message thats says "Hi how are u ?" or "hi Beautiful" thats boring and doesnt sound like he has put much thought into it. Sometimes I dread answering that because I feel I have to come up with a conversation starter and thats just annoying like pulling teeth no thanks :/

have something unique to say to each and every woman you send a message to and if you are sending messages to every body then it sounds like you are applying for jobs trying to get whatever can at that moment.
You have to make some type of connection before inviting them to coffee, show your personality more, too many people are scared to do that but a boring compliment (no offense) wont always do it say something funny to break the ice just be real. Dont lay out what you have to offer it sound desperate almost I really dont like when guys say "I have a job and a car I have money I have no kids and I have all my teeth" blah blah blah gud for you that doesnt tell me who you are as a person its robotic... and now Im bored again :/

Read the profiles and say something relative to them, something that you think will peak their interest and it will start a conversation and the rest should come through if you guys connect...if you dont, then dont force it no small talk (its lame, its dreadful) just move on :)
 thepigofyourdreams
Joined: 2/23/2012
Msg: 139
Advice on getting responses from good looking women
Posted: 7/7/2012 3:03:08 PM

I disagree with the poster above me. I've tried messeging women who i find attractive and end up with no luck. I been told im average looking and came to terms of accepting that. No attractive woman would go for an average guy, its solid proof for being on here. So, IRL, i will only approach a woman who is average and i just may have a remote chance


You think you've actually proven a point by messaging a very minute fraction of the female population in this world??

I'm not about to tell you that looks don't play a significant role, but attitude can make or break you. I have a cousin who LOOKS like Johnny Depp. (no kidding) Women LOVE him.....until they start talking to him. He has no game, no confidence, horrible body language, and the same pessimistic outlook you seem to possess.

On the other side of the spectrum, I have a friend who many would consider "average" in terms of appearance alone, but is absolutely fearless, outgoing, has the "gift of gab", and a good sense of humor. I have never been out with him, and NOT seen him leave with a woman by the end of the night.

Me personally, I don't care how good looking a woman is, if she started unloading the same stuff you are, she's losing points on the attractive scale. I like to think that I can do better than reeling in a Debbie Downer.
 vestaceres
Joined: 6/13/2012
Msg: 140
Advice on getting responses from good looking women
Posted: 7/7/2012 6:06:39 PM
Be good looking, in the first place?
 08910891
Joined: 4/25/2013
Msg: 141
Advice on getting responses from good looking women
Posted: 5/1/2013 10:25:49 AM
Your picture is creepy, and the way you're standing taking that pic, have a friend take pics of you at the beach, shirtless with a surf board or something, smiling, see the results,

change your frames, get some designer frames
 Bluegold007
Joined: 4/22/2013
Msg: 142
Advice on getting responses from good looking women
Posted: 5/1/2013 11:02:30 AM
Wow this thread is brutal. I'm glad i'm not the o.p
Read through the responses and ok i get it! The o.p is average. Most people are average. Enough is enough, seriously
 bradster1979
Joined: 2/9/2013
Msg: 143
Advice on getting responses from good looking women
Posted: 5/3/2013 9:11:37 PM

"I would say you are very average looking at best. You are shooting for the very attractive women. Can you see the problem here yet?"

Ditto, it's not rocket science.


This!
4's date 4's, 10's date 10's.
 Michael7482
Joined: 3/12/2013
Msg: 144
Advice on getting responses from good looking women
Posted: 5/3/2013 10:18:53 PM

Advice on getting responses from good looking women


I'm going to give you some very simple advice.

Be yourself, be honest, and go after the ones you have something in common with, if you contact them just because they're hot your wasting your time and theirs.

being funny is great too, but cheesy pick up lines I'm sure most women see through.

So that's about it IMO

If a woman is attractive it doesn't make them worth dating BTW, it's nice to have but I've met some who have half the personality, character, and values as ordinary or below average looking gals. Being attractive I consider to be like icing on the cake, but if their is no cake to begin with all you have icing and personally I like cake if I'm going to have icing. If that makes sense.
 Confident-Realist
Joined: 2/8/2004
Msg: 145
Advice on getting responses from good looking women
Posted: 5/4/2013 7:56:06 PM

This!
4's date 4's, 10's date 10's.

I agree, generally speaking. The OP does have an outwardly Unique-Look. That's not good to flow with when you're naturally great looking -- but is when you're average-at-best -- to tattoo up, dress different, etc. If you're a 4.5/10, you'll find gals who are a 3 who aren't interest BUT some girls who are a 7 who are.

It's liking being a home run hitter. You may have a low batting average, but you can crank 'em out of the park. And when finding a gal, it's not how many runs your score.

Online though, when you have that unique-look by fashion, tattoos, etc -- you're going to usually be restricted to your demographic. Online, statistically I believe, women may respond better to unique write-ups to grasp their attention due to full inbox... but not outwardly unique looks unless they're basically in that same demographic.
 35brock
Joined: 3/20/2013
Msg: 146
Advice on getting responses from good looking women
Posted: 5/5/2013 3:02:17 PM
"I would say you are very average looking at best. You are shooting for the very attractive women. Can you see the problem here yet?"

Ditto, it's not rocket science.


I don't think ONLY contacting average looking women will significantly improve a man's positive reply rate. Average looking women can be just as picky as the more attractive ones. If I liked a woman's photos and there was nothing about me that is a clear dealbreaker to her ( according to her profile ) and vice versa, I will contact her.
 Bluegold007
Joined: 4/22/2013
Msg: 147
Advice on getting responses from good looking women
Posted: 5/5/2013 6:41:51 PM
Women in general are shallow and superfical. Guys arent as picky about looks.
 35brock
Joined: 3/20/2013
Msg: 148
Advice on getting responses from good looking women
Posted: 5/6/2013 6:41:23 AM
People from both genders can be shallow. I think the biggest difference is some women will date men that they aren't physically attracted to because of money / social status / power.
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