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 largo2
Joined: 12/13/2011
Msg: 88
Bittersweet excitement.....buying a house w/o someone to share the funPage 5 of 6    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6)
Im sort of figuring all that stuff out also- tons of blinds and curtains to be hung, and all kinds of other stuff.

I think I've used up favours- I have construction going on soon (building a main floor flat) I may have to hire some help.

My date the other night drove me to IKEA and drove home my purchase in his truck for me ;)
 largo2
Joined: 12/13/2011
Msg: 90
Bittersweet excitement.....buying a house w/o someone to share the fun
Posted: 7/3/2012 6:38:04 AM
LOL he didn't put it together.
 CynthiaSM
Joined: 2/24/2012
Msg: 91
Bittersweet excitement.....buying a house w/o someone to share the fun
Posted: 7/4/2012 6:58:43 AM
Carpenter and electrician are moving along on schedule and the place looks fabulous. I will be spending my 4th of July holiday painting the new bedroom and sewing room. Furniture moves this coming weekend! Gawd I hope it doesn't rain; odds are 50:50 in this part of the country.

Unfortunately the fridge and stove don't arrive until a week later so more nights of microwaved dry goods. By Sunday night I will be ready to collapse but at least it will be in my own home - with girly sheets and a purple door :-)

And one pissed off and confused cat.
 largo2
Joined: 12/13/2011
Msg: 92
Bittersweet excitement.....buying a house w/o someone to share the fun
Posted: 7/4/2012 12:16:32 PM
I like the purple door, CYnthia- I may have to copy you on that one!

I am making a sewing room for myself also- something I have always wanted but of course never had spare room for. Gotta focus on the positives, right?
 authenticoutlook
Joined: 8/10/2012
Msg: 93
Bittersweet excitement.....buying a house w/o someone to share the fun
Posted: 8/17/2012 2:16:23 PM
I saved for ten years to buy a house for myself and my son. I was alone and glad the day I bought it and proud of my own achievement and dreams and long term plans coming to fruition and reality.

Having someone there with me never crossed my mind. I was too busy being happy and content on my own and building a swing set for my son and flooring my kitchen on my own and very proud of the job I did. I bought the house for my son and myself. Someone else in it never occurred to me. My son chose the house at 6 years old. I paid for it because that's the one he told mommie he liked. (it had a pool)

Sure, I have days now and then I think of sharing things with someone, but don't really give it that much thought. It's a passing thought.

I have one more big thing on my bucket list to accomplish next spring. I'm doing it alone and don't care if there is anyone in my life or not to share it with as often company for the idea or hobby is generally done with more than one or in groups. I'm doing it come hell or high water with or without anyone to share it with.

If you wait around for others you may never get to do it.
 spell_bound
Joined: 4/29/2012
Msg: 94
Bittersweet excitement.....buying a house w/o someone to share the fun
Posted: 8/18/2012 6:09:23 AM
Well said Authenticoutlook... I bought a home for myself and (at the time 9yr old) after I made the decision that this was where I was staying. He's 11 now and still don't regret my choice. I am content, and if someone happens to come along fine. I can honestly say that I don't know that I would want "him" moving in with us right away.

For me, buying a home by myself was the wiser choice, instead of waiting for "someone to share it with" . I have learned that "waiting around for others, you may never get to do it" is so true. It took me a while to readjust to that line of thinking, but thank God I didn't pull anyone or my child into that abyss of unhappiness. I figured it out on my own...for that I am proud.
 BlackLady1953
Joined: 5/27/2011
Msg: 95
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Bittersweet excitement.....buying a house w/o someone to share the fun
Posted: 8/21/2012 9:58:16 AM
Much love and good wishes to all the single lady homeowners who "took the plunge" on your own. I love every day I walk into the home I am purchasing through my own efforts....challenges, problems, and all!
 largo2
Joined: 12/13/2011
Msg: 97
Bittersweet excitement.....buying a house w/o someone to share the fun
Posted: 8/24/2012 7:34:32 PM
Congratulations organic! I am settling in nicely to my new place... and a new guy in my life also. ;)
 CynthiaSM
Joined: 2/24/2012
Msg: 99
Bittersweet excitement.....buying a house w/o someone to share the fun
Posted: 10/21/2012 1:54:35 PM
Been in my house for a few months now. Settled in enough that I had my sister, her husband, and a friend over for pot-luck dinner and dominoes last night. Perfect fall night - we had a fire in the fireplace, great dinner, fun play and nature obliged with an awesome lightning and thunder storm. Didn't realize it was that time of year, yet, but since I'll be alone this year for Thanksgiving they invited me to join their potluck Thanksgiving.

This morning it has been cool but only big fluffy white clouds. Cat sitting on my lap, begging for pets, while I read in the sun streaming in the windows. I love this place. It's good for me - the quiet, the daily connection to nature, watching bald eagles, and listening to ship horns at night.

Had a few chores to do today, then went out to the woods to gather wood. This is when it hit me - these are things I want the man to do. Yes, I'm quite capable of doing them. But in my psyche these are a couple things I imagine 'him' doing as part of his relationship 'care and feeding.' I walked around the house a few times feeling his ghost, like he was just around the corner, or upstairs, and any minute would come in with an update on the little project he'd been working on, or back from his walk down the shore road (I live on a small island), or offering to run to the store for their homemade cinnamon rolls and landejager.

But, 'he' was never at this house. I bought it after he left me. However, Thanksgiving was 'our' holiday so I think that's what has triggered today's bittersweet feeling of owning this house. Simple things like watching ships pass through the channel, or a stormy sea remind me of the trip along the Oregon coast we took for my 50th birthday. Today I'm going to just let myself feel what I will. Tomorrow I'll return to coopting these little experiences from association with him, to what they really are - pieces of my new life.
 TravelerseekingU
Joined: 2/15/2012
Msg: 100
Bittersweet excitement.....buying a house w/o someone to share the fun
Posted: 11/2/2012 9:16:46 AM
Cynthia, I can relate to the wandering mind while doing the chores outside! I actually think of when I was young and wandering in the woods with my brothers..( I was always exploring in the woods and carrying sticks, ice skates, hockey sticks, and whatnots)

I relate these pieces to what it means to be in a bond...by our biology we are here to be connected...and yes with a man. I do however live in this society and where I NEED a place to call my home for myself and children. It's a pull I think to the overwhelming nature we all have....its survival.

It motivates me to stay the course....I look out and blank stare when doing my yardwork...I catch myself in a ZONE. I've laughed a few times at the irony. I accept it as the way it is. I bet men wish they had a honey in the kitchen making a meal for him! :) Its really ironic no matter where or who we are the most minute things affect us universally!
 BlackLady1953
Joined: 5/27/2011
Msg: 101
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Bittersweet excitement.....buying a house w/o someone to share the fun
Posted: 11/4/2012 3:59:58 PM
Frome one Cynthia to another:

Best wishes on building your new life!
 littleflower57
Joined: 9/15/2012
Msg: 102
Bittersweet excitement.....buying a house w/o someone to share the fun
Posted: 11/4/2012 5:44:04 PM
I've been a homeowner all but two years of my adult life. Two homes while married and two as a single person. I don't see myself as a renter, and during the two years after my second divorce I really detested apartment living and giving my hard earned money to someone else in the form of rent. I've learned to do DIY home improvement projects I never dreamt I could do. Maybe not perfectly, but I'm quite proud of my home project accomplishments. Last big project was in 2004 when I gutted the cabinets, countertops and flooring in my kitchen, and with the help of my son, I put in new cabinets, countertops and a wood floor. I did that. I didn't hire a contractor or handyman to do it. I did it.

I do have to admit that there are times when owning a home on your own can be a real pain in the butt when it comes to maintenance and repairs. And I think that there will come a day when I will not want the responsibilty of maintaining a house on my own anymore. The thought of selling my home breaks my heart sometimes....and then other times I get the urge to sell everything, buy an RV and just live in it and go where the road takes me.
 CynthiaSM
Joined: 2/24/2012
Msg: 103
Bittersweet excitement.....buying a house w/o someone to share the fun
Posted: 11/18/2013 2:29:45 PM
It's been a year since the last post so I wanted to bump this to see how it's going for everyone who posted on this thread about a new home purchase last year.

For me, I'm really glad I made the move. It's been tough adjusting to living on an island where the last ferry is 8:30pm - that makes it difficult to go out to events in the evening or to work too far from home. Also, haven't found anyone interesting to date in the area either.

That said, it was a fabulous summer and I got outside a lot - to the beach, hiking in the woods, to the Saturday farmer's market, along the pier at the marinas, etc. Wish I'd been able to acquire a kayak this year. It's on the list for the spring. Plus, while I was unemployed, I could make it on unemployment because my mortgage P&I is so much less than the apartment I used to rent in the city.

Unfortunately I may need to move back to the mainland to be able to get a decent job and to meet someone of datable age :-( Not sure if I'll sell my house or rent it out.
 Crystal_Planet
Joined: 10/30/2013
Msg: 104
Bittersweet excitement.....buying a house w/o someone to share the fun
Posted: 11/19/2013 5:15:20 AM
This is probably one of the best threads I've seen on these forums - it's odd to see this much enthusiasm here with the absence of bitterness and back biting. It's amazingly refreshing.

OP (if you're still around) I hope you have moved in by now and your home brings you years of joy and excellent memories.
 curviest
Joined: 5/28/2010
Msg: 105
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Bittersweet excitement.....buying a house w/o someone to share the fun
Posted: 11/19/2013 6:50:21 AM
Crystal - the OP replied, right above your post.

OP - I bought a house on my own 15 years ago, after having always lived with my male partner. Yes, at first it feels like there is "someone missing" but as the years go by you come to bear it, then accept it grudgingly, then accept it happily, then enjoy it, and then one day you wake up and realise that you actually don't want to share your living space with a man. Then you start worrying that you will meet someone and he'll want to move in together and you won't want to, and that becomes the new thing to fret about!
 agoraphobic_insomniac
Joined: 8/13/2013
Msg: 106
Bittersweet excitement.....buying a house w/o someone to share the fun
Posted: 11/19/2013 6:55:20 AM
The OP's last post was message 111, just a few back.

Exit to add: Oopsie, didn't check the date. Thanks Cynthia vvvv
 CynthiaSM
Joined: 2/24/2012
Msg: 107
Bittersweet excitement.....buying a house w/o someone to share the fun
Posted: 11/19/2013 7:00:18 AM
Yes, OP replied only a few messages back but that was more than a year ago.

Agree, Crystal, this was a nice thread. Very collegial and supportive. Which is why I brought this thread back specifically so, hopefully, several posters (including OP) will see this thread and give us an update.
 Proteaus
Joined: 6/9/2009
Msg: 108
Bittersweet excitement.....buying a house w/o someone to share the fun
Posted: 11/21/2013 2:33:35 AM
To opp: Pretty much every woman I have been involved with has cultivated and added to that I am on my own feeling . Knowing that in terms of pretty much anything , I am on my own .It is something you get used to .
 Peppermint_Petunias
Joined: 3/30/2012
Msg: 109
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Bittersweet excitement.....buying a house w/o someone to share the fun
Posted: 11/23/2013 4:11:05 AM

Today is the day that a deposit on a new house is being made and I'm pretty darn excited!! It's an adorable house.......PERFECT size (for me)......GREAT location (for me)......and my dogs will have a fenced in backyard........GREAT for both them AND me!!

This is an exciting time!! I'm extremely grateful that I'm in the position to even be able to do this............(sigh).
Though there is a tiny bit of........I'm not sure what. A tiny bit of.......maybe, sadness? Obviously not for the fact that I'm able to do this but because I would have never imagined that at almost 50, I'd be without a "love interest".......never mind something more significant.........and buying a house on my own.

It's kind of like realizing (in a substantial way) that I am alone.


Alone in your dream house? Could be worse.
Were you alone in your nightmare house/location?

Lets say you meet Ms right tomorrow and she hates your decorating and/or location.
Are you going to let her make part of that home tolerable for her to look at if it becomes serious?
Take down the deer heads and fish? ( just an example)
Let her have a woman space?
Change the colors, change the furniture?
OR
Re locate closer to where she is comfortable if you live in the boonies or next to a bunch of power lines??
Take down pics of all your family and put them in an album and put up real art?

Be happy you have what you wanted and hope when you do find her she doesn't want to "gut" the place entirely.

Enjoy your home.
 or_current_resident
Joined: 6/3/2013
Msg: 110
Bittersweet excitement.....buying a house w/o someone to share the fun
Posted: 11/25/2013 10:10:19 AM

Unfortunately I may need to move back to the mainland to be able to get a decent job and to meet someone of datable age :-( Not sure if I'll sell my house or rent it out.


Sorry to hear that after u lost your job….. well at least you can say u gave it your best & can only be even better later on… as the experiences is wonderful nonetheless in living the chapters of life…

And there are many good places u can rent it out, as airbus etc are good sites…good luck



This is probably one of the best threads I've seen on these forums - it's odd to see this much enthusiasm here with the absence of bitterness and back biting. It's amazingly refreshing.


Yes it is…..as it can be just as successful when well thought out first, in living alone,and moving on and buying a new home to settle in….can be scary at first, but still doable with the right frame of spirt & mind…..

imo, for many others alone...its still up to each individual,especially after 45 0r 50 in lifestyles…. like a LAT or other….if cohabiting full time is not in the cards…
After my divorce,I have dated, but still lived alone for over 10 years in the same house.
I did decorated the house over the years in a Southwest favors etc, with much custom craftsmanship through out the home…..

But having found keeper now, that will be changing in the near future living alone….
As we both understand & look forward to enjoy the day, we both can sleep under the same roof. She loves the way my home is done in it colors & design,etc….and feels that this could be a place she would be comfortable in & its enduring qualities. And there is no past stuff either other then a few family pics….I did a total make-over.
As it is a house, but hope it will be a new home for her…. and this may sound corny, but as we know the feeling to be safe & sound for each other…..
And whats funny before, then my neighbors, husbands wives, friends etc, when they would come over to visit, they would tell me that any woman would be thrilled to live here too….. and guess what…. They were right! ^^^^


OP (if you're still around) I hope you have moved in by now and your home brings you years of joy and excellent memories.


Yes it would be nice if she is…. as it seems she has adjusted nicely & found happiness in her new home, with both oars in the water……alone or other….lets hope she replies,as she always gave the impression she had a lot going in a positive way..
 L,A, Woman
Joined: 7/4/2006
Msg: 111
Bittersweet excitement.....buying a house w/o someone to share the fun
Posted: 11/29/2013 8:17:18 AM
You can be alone but not lonely, try getting involved in something outside your house and dogs. The more you try to get out there the happier you will be, be it a hobby, a class, a sport, oh the list goes on. Being alone does not always mean you have to be lonely. You can get stuck on stupid if in the house all the time. Get a hobby, even if it is taking your dogs to a dog park.
 domainfullduplex100
Joined: 12/21/2012
Msg: 112
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Bittersweet excitement.....buying a house w/o someone to share the fun
Posted: 11/29/2013 3:37:17 PM
tough one fella.. i ain't a spring chicken either. I fell in love with a 39 year old beauty. To keep this going I have to agree to change my goals; have another kid and get married..again.. lol, so basically I won't do that so i know heartaches are here to stay because i will lose her sooner rather than later. Yes, i can easily meet someone else, even find someone who will not have those requirements....i love her...so don't feel too bad that you are 50 and partnerless...you should desire a compatible partner in all sense of the word or being alone is soooo much better
 bamagrl68
Joined: 11/14/2010
Msg: 113
Bittersweet excitement.....buying a house w/o someone to share the fun
Posted: 12/5/2013 1:52:00 PM
organicquestionmark- Isn't life really about perception?
You are excited about buying this house and yet dwelling on the fact you aren't in a relationship/don't have someone to share the joy with.
What if you JUST focused on what you have accomplished? You have bought a house on your own, something some people go through life and never manage to do.
You get to decorate it how you want, live in it how you want, you answer to no one.
Be happy for yourself, be proud of yourself.
Shut out the negative thoughts and focus on the positive.
You bought a house, congrats! :)
 professora
Joined: 7/28/2008
Msg: 114
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Bittersweet excitement.....buying a house w/o someone to share the fun
Posted: 12/7/2013 5:46:31 PM
I had to learn the hard way---about being alone and on my own. The price was too great for what you refer to as a "love interest"---but your having a house might attract someone who is also interested in you. Good luck. You should be proud of yourself:)
 completelyhappy
Joined: 10/3/2010
Msg: 115
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Bittersweet excitement.....buying a house w/o someone to share the fun
Posted: 12/9/2013 4:21:49 PM
too many too count- and they were all great.

That being said, God will provide us all the right mate at the right time. As the saying goes" you do you" first and the rest is gravy.
Congrats on the house.
blessings
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