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Show ALL Forums  > Relationships  > Is Casual Dating beating out Commited Relationships in Modern Society?      Home login  
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 DomG79
Joined: 3/12/2011
Msg: 87
Is Casual Dating beating out Commited Relationships in Modern Society?Page 7 of 7    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7)
It seems like a lot of people don't know what they want until they find it, if they find it that is. Nowadays, people marry for various reasons other than love. That trickles down to relationships versus casual dating. People are often more engaged in their careers, hobbies, education, etc. and they need something more convenient. Personally, I'd prefer to find a relationship, but I myself have my own share of time restraints, so I have to ask myself what is a realistic expectation?
 Proteaus
Joined: 6/9/2009
Msg: 88
Is Casual Dating beating out Commited Relationships in Modern Society?
Posted: 9/12/2013 8:49:07 AM
Seems like all online dating did (with its grocery store mentality ) was drive the finishing nails into the coffin of relationships . Just looking at the increasing divorce rate ,relationships will become more and more rare .
 Cynderella
Joined: 3/8/2007
Msg: 89
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History
Is Casual Dating beating out Commited Relationships in Modern Society?
Posted: 9/12/2013 9:23:27 AM
Yup...chasing the dream with my dog

E
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Times are a changin'
 femaleconnection
Joined: 8/12/2010
Msg: 90
Is Casual Dating beating out Commited Relationships in Modern Society?
Posted: 9/16/2013 1:44:56 PM
IDK...I went through a phase where all I could handle was a casual date here and there. I was genuinly busy with my son, his schooling, my job, running the home, tending to the yard/garden etc....I didnt have the time it takes to dedicate to a committed relationship.

That doesnt mean I was living in any state of future regret. I was living a great life, honoring my obligations. I have zero regrets. Any man I 'turned down' for 'more', I dont sit by and wistfully 'miss'. We were not at the same place when we met. End of story. Timing is everything.

Dont think that any person that rejected your offering of 'more' is sitting around regretting it, because they likely are not. This is something people tell themselves I guess to feel better about being rejected.

I can assure you Op, that when 2 people meet, who are ready for the same things, want the same things...they work towards getting to a committed relationship 'place'. You cannot keep two people apart who are on the same page romantically.
 Deadliest_Snatch
Joined: 10/25/2012
Msg: 91
Is Casual Dating beating out Commited Relationships in Modern Society?
Posted: 9/16/2013 2:43:06 PM

rc3k Msg 41: What is wrong with being controlling? I often hear women talk about how "controlling guys" are bad, yet I sense no reason why that should be the case.. Women are programmed not to have to make decisions in relationships, and just let the guy take lead.. Often I find things like "where would you like to go on a date? What would you like to do today? What do you want for dinner, what movie would you like to see? Have you researched a good vacation spot?" ETC ETC these types of questions are left with a "i dont know or up to you" response...

This all made me realize that women have, are and always will be looking to men for answers, and for planning purposes. Women need control and direction in their lives, because if left to a woman a relationship just simply will have no ground or support without the man's directional behavior.. I always been the type to love to plan things and take lead and control, there is plenty of women who appreciate it.. So hearing people say "no one wants a controlling guy" give me a break, no woman would survive a relationship without an element of control from a guy.



Msg 1: In the end, a lot of the women I date want to take it slow, or not at all..


Somehow ... that makes total sense to me.
 Confident-Realist
Joined: 2/8/2004
Msg: 92
Is Casual Dating beating out Commited Relationships in Modern Society?
Posted: 9/16/2013 7:42:21 PM

Is the casual dating life style just more convenient and more effective in modern society than the traditional committed relationship?

That's comparing apples & oranges. In the first 3-5 dates, you're not in a traditional, committed relationship. Whether you take those 3-5 dates traditionally, modernly, casually, fruitlessly, seriously, etc -- it's not something to compare to a committed relationship. The two aren't comparable. The first handful of dates is where casually dating takes place. An Actual traditional, committed relationship cannot exist in that initial phase.

In the end, a lot of the women I date want to take it slow, or not at all..

Your problems are about their actual Interest in you. You may be shooting for girls out of your league, if that's The norm. That's not to say girls in your league, or even a bit below your league won't have the same results -- but it will be a lower %.

Casual dating is a Good thing in that first phase. And it's traditional to take it casually, too -- before "going steady" (a traditional term). Especially when it's with someone you don't know from adam in the first place.

That's not to say there isn't any level of romanticism, affection, and interest. It just means you're not setting expectations after the first couple dates. You're taking a casual approach going into it, and depending on the dates, after 3-5 of them, then it's determined by both parties as to whether you want to be an item or not (to go steady). You go steady for a while, and then it evolves into something more serious -- a committed, established relationship.

You're just suffering from girls not being that into you. A few may lack interest because they're emotionally hurt from the past and want to take it slow with mere handshakes & lemonade, while your physical attraction is just fine or even more than just fine (but it's still lack of interest regardless).

Hopefully OP, you're not someone who wants to move things too quick, to be an "item" during or right after your 1st date. That's creepy. Learn to take that initial "pre season" of dating, the first 3-5 dates, as a read on the girl's interest and your own... while enjoying the time spent hanging out.
 Maleman999
Joined: 2/14/2010
Msg: 93
Is Casual Dating beating out Commited Relationships in Modern Society?
Posted: 9/17/2013 7:05:39 PM
Casual Dating beating out Committed Relationships? You sure could've fooled me from female profiles I've seen. Almost every profile I see says: "If you're looking for a quick fling, one night stand, move along."..."I'm looking for the One. My Prince Charming, my knight in shining armor to spend the rest of my life with. If you're not looking for the same, move along. We're not a match". A lot of females on here are blunt about their mission of husband hunting. They want a very short courtship just to make it look like they went the traditional root to satisfy the nay sayers who are against instant marriages to strangers-just add water and stir. But they make it clear on a first meet, that if there's no diamond ring and wedding ceremony on the immediate horizon, the guy is history. So what I see is the opposite of the title of the post.
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